Who has the classic language of poking fun at canteen food?

1. Why is there rice in the sand in your canteen?

Can you stop the chef from sticking his finger into my dish? .....

3. Use the heat of cooking to cook ribs, and use the mentality of cooking ribs to cook vegetables, so you can eat them.

4. The grasshopper in the water spinach tastes good, so it is recommended to cook it eight times more in the future.

5. Sliced chicken in Beijing sauce, curry chicken, Cola chicken, kung pao chicken, shredded chicken, shredded chicken with bean curd, braised chicken leg, cumin chicken bone, diced cucumber and diced green beans ... Are all pigs, cattle, sheep, shrimps and fish dead?

6. Shredded green pepper, braised, roasted eggplant, sliced bitter gourd, minced vermicelli, wok, sliced onion, braised radish ... I haven't seen anything for a long time.

7. If your meal is four taels, I suggest you don't beat four taels at a time, you should beat two taels and then combine them. In this way, your two "twos" are definitely more than others' one four twos ... this is the classic canteen 2+2 >; 4 theory, strongly requires mathematical experts to give detailed proof. ....

8. I once asked in the guest book whether the canteen staff were cooks or breeders.

9. Why are there so few cockroaches in "Fried Xiao Qiang with Green Pepper and Lean Meat"?

10. Please replace the loser in the monotonous vegetarian window with a beautiful woman. We boys suffer too much. It's our turn after all the girls in the school have finished eating. It's all soup

1 1. I didn't know what saving meant until I got to the canteen: I ate what was left at noon at night, and I could eat what was left at night as jiaozi the next morning.

12. Dialogue heard in the canteen: (A boy finishes his meal) What is this?

Fried meat with potatoes

What is fried with potatoes?

Fried meat with potatoes

What is fried with potatoes?

Fried meat with potatoes

What is fried with potatoes?

Meat ... (Finally the chef woke up and added some meat to the boys)

13. Why are the vegetables used so similar to my lost ear-digging spoon? Where did you buy it?

14. The funniest comment in the canteen is "It is suggested that feeding is prohibited!" (GGMM feeds each other)

15. We study chemistry, but we can still tell the difference between dichlorvos and detergent. Use dichlorvos in the canteen!

16. The skins of cucumbers are quite different from those of those cucumbers.

17. There are caterpillars in vegetables and barbed wire in vermicelli. Is this fishing? Or feed the fish?

18. There are too few stones in the rice. Can you add some more?

19. The laver, egg and mouse soup tonight is good ... a message from a classmate who ate the mouse in the soup.

20. In order to avoid worrying about pesticide residues, all the vegetables in the canteen have proved to be absolutely green. Fried spinach with vegetarian dishes has little caterpillars!

2 1. After eating the stockings in mala Tang, the boss responded sensitively: "How can kelp be cut!"

22. It's really chilling to say. It often happens that a dish can only cover the bottom of the bowl. Another time, Xiao Qiang on my plate lost a leg, which was cold. ......

23. Generally, the price should be reduced by at least 1 yuan. I can recite the menu. Anyway, I have eaten glass slag, broken iron pieces, stones, disks and sold rice. ........

24. Don't fry the flies, sprinkle more salt in the caterpillar soup.

25. Can you not drown the flies in tomato soup!

26. canteen = = chemistry laboratory.

27. I ate another fly today, so high.

Top Ten Classic Seasonings in School Canteen

Seasoning 1: salt

Salt is an essential seasoning for all kinds of dishes, and the human body can become more energetic after absorbing sodium chloride. The canteen master knows that we exercise a lot and always adds a lot of salt to the dishes in order to replenish the most depleted substances in the body in time. We can only silently accept this painstaking, grateful heart to eat bitter and unpalatable dishes. Sometimes the master is afraid that we will absorb too much energy and make any noise after the excess energy, so he doesn't add salt to the dishes at all. Such ups and downs of seasoning torture, so that everyone is dumbfounded about the dishes. Every holiday, there is no salt in the dish, so everyone asks the master to add some salt to the dish. While patiently scooping salt into everyone's lunch boxes, the master said earnestly, "It's not good to eat too much salt." I never heard such advice from him in those days when salt was flooding.

Seasoning 2: iron wire

In order to exercise our eyesight and dental strength, the canteen master specially added iron wires of different lengths to fried spinach and braised vermicelli. We picked out the wire and put it aside to eat, thus absorbing a lot of iron left by the wire when cooking. Trace element iron can supplement hemoglobin well. Friends whose hemoglobin and hematocrit are below normal standards have been actively treated in the university cafeteria. The incidence of anemia among college students is lower than that of other groups, and the canteen master contributed a lot. After eating, the high-temperature sterilized thin wire can also be used as a toothpick. I have to admire the ingenuity of the masters. A few scrap iron wires on the plate have played their most brilliant afterheat and the most effective use. Maybe the wire has never been so brilliant.

Seasoning 3: hair

Hair with different lengths and thicknesses appears in dishes and soups from time to time, which is full of the love of the owner. In order to wash the vegetables, they devoted themselves wholeheartedly and even got their heads into the sink. There is short hair with oily hair in carrion tofu, which the cook fell in when scratching his head. Glossy and bright, good toughness. Don't try to bite it off. The long hair in the hot and sour soup belongs to the little sister who washes vegetables. She is a native of Jiangnan. Her hair smells of sweet-scented osmanthus, floating on the noodle soup, her waist is soft, and the water town is endless. But hair is hard to digest. Almost as acid-resistant as ceramics, your stomach acid can't cope. So, I suggest you put it in front of the dish, pick it out, and throw it away after enjoying it.

Seasoning 4: flies

Some flying friends always ignore the warning signs in the canteen and insist on breaking into areas that do not belong to them. The canteen is dangerous, and every step is a fatal trap. The host accidentally threw the flies enjoying the meat pile into the wok. The poor fly was still intoxicated with the delicious fresh meat and died before he could come to say goodbye to his relatives and friends. People can always find the bodies of these guys in time when the food is half eaten. The little life that was alive an hour ago just disappeared. We can't blame the carelessness of the canteen master. How many people do they cook for a meal? Occasionally, a few flies die, which deserves forgiveness. As a special seasoning, flies are added to dishes not to make us sick, but to give us a warning: don't talk on the phone while driving, don't eat ice cream when crossing the road, and don't concentrate.

Seasoning 5: Stone

Chickens eat pebbles to help their stomachs grind undigested corn. The canteen masters not only understand this truth, but also insist on practicing it on us. They add metal wires to vegetables to exercise our eyesight and teeth, and stones to strengthen our stomachs. Masters, against our protest, we must add some pebbles to the rice, because they see that everyone is reborn like a hungry ghost when eating, and they devour it. Only by adding small stones can digestion and absorption be promoted. Please think about the good intentions of the masters when everyone's teeth are broken and their faces are covered with stones. Stop complaining, can't you see the girl at the next table covering her cheeks? Her face shows dissatisfaction with the size of the stone, and the corner of her eye is painful to thank the teachers for spoiling her too much and cutting her too hard.

Seasoning 6: centipede

Scolopendra is a good thing, which not only clears away heat and phlegm, but also relieves wind and collaterals. Our ancestors used it as a medicine for a long time to save lives, and now centipede is regarded as the top grade of catering industry. Don't think that the information is blocked because the masters cook in the university cafeteria every day. They just follow the trend and pursue fashion. The centipede in the dish is the best proof. However, the canteen funds are limited, and the chefs can only put one or two centipedes in a large pot of vegetables, so that we can not only taste fresh, but also be temperate. Girls eat to beautify themselves, while boys eat to eliminate phlegm. It's really a unique seasoning. Think of those mature centipedes that glow red in green vegetables. They are simply a panacea for nourishing the body and nourishing qi. Seriously despise those students who pick out centipedes and complain loudly.

Seasoning 7: sand

Steamed bread is always the coldest, and there will always be sand in the soup. This is the only rule in university canteens. Everything is complicated and will precipitate, including life, including the fate of life, and the soup in the canteen. Although sand is the precipitation of soup, it can nourish people with different temperament and has no nutrition. It is reasonable that sand appears in the canteen seasoning, which is neither nutritious nor eye-catching. But it did appear. Based on the principle that existence is justified, we should think of a reasonable reason for it. Master must have seen Princess Zhu Huan and was deeply moved by Princess Xiangxiang's words, so when chanting his lover, he sang: You are the wind and I am the sand. Grab a handful of sand in the soup. What a touching scene! When we were eating sand, we not only felt the truth of our master, but also lamented this sadness.

Seasoning 8: Xiao Qiang

Cockroaches are called "Xiao Qiang", which comes from the star version of "Tang Bohu Dianchouxiang". It is active in every corner of the canteen with tenacious vitality, and this active and readily available high-protein owner will certainly not let go. Because of the lack of pork, the masters are deeply guilty of our low nutrient absorption. They will add some cockroaches to various dishes to supplement them. We are in excellent health, playing ball with great energy, and winning the first place in running is all due to Xiao Qiang. Some girls will feel queasy after eating Xiao Qiang, because she hasn't reached the third year of high school, and she is used to the seasoning in the canteen. Only when there is Xiao Qiang in the dish can she eat it. She will definitely come back and sing the song "Eating Xiao Qiang is nutritious" with us. Waiting for you, lovely MM, it only takes you three years to understand the worries of the masters about our malnutrition.

Seasoning 9: stockings

The appearance of silk stockings in pork bone laver soup puzzled me. The chef picked it out and said, "This is uncut kelp." Kelp is actually white? The degree of species variation. In fact, life is too dull. It's boring to go to class and take the postgraduate entrance examination every day. Masters add stockings to the soup to adjust our lifeless life. Silk stockings floating in pig bone soup, what a colorful idea, what a funny way to make people angry. There is no denying that stockings are definitely the strongest seasoning in canteen food. We will guess: under what circumstances did these stockings enter the pork bone seaweed soup? Who is its owner? Is it the MM who washes vegetables or the aunt who washes dishes? However, no matter how imaginative this seasoning makes me, I finally poured out the soup.

Seasoning 10: braised pork, baked potato and chopped green pepper.

In the canteen, meat appears as seasoning, so the amount is not generally small. Pork has streptococcus, beef has foot-and-mouth disease, and chickens, ducks and geese have bird flu. Use meat carefully. The meat in the canteen is carefully dissected and strictly disinfected before it is given to us, so it is very small and soft. If you meet absolute quality meat, everyone will have a good time. The chefs will cook it half-cooked. Let's experience the half-cooked flavor of the food in the western restaurant. Sometimes, the masters will take special care of beautiful MM and add more meat seasoning to the dishes. It is also reasonable for male students to use Xiao Qiang to make up for the lack of meat. Therefore, it is absolutely fair for the masters to cook.