In a family of three children, why is the middle child said to be the most pitiful? Can you tell me from experience?

There is a "second child's law" in psychology. Generally speaking, the first child is generally favored by his parents and can enjoy a unique status of favor. As soon as the second child is born, he is faced with sharing his parents' love with the eldest child, so his instinct is to use "competition" to obtain his own "rights." If another younger sibling is born, the parents' love will be transferred to the younger sibling, so the second child always feels that he is "suffering", not being "favored" enough, and not having the "status" of the eldest child.

Aren’t there many only children nowadays who don’t want their parents to have a second child? They just want to monopolize their parents’ love and resources. In fact, the "psychological trauma" caused to the eldest child after his parents gave birth to a second child is not small. I feel that the parents will love the younger siblings more, because the younger siblings are younger and need to be taken care of more. The eldest child has to watch his parents take away the love that was originally reserved for him. Divided among younger siblings.

Practically everything has pros and cons. Although the eldest son has enjoyed the "unique" pampering of his parents, he is easily entrusted by his parents to inherit the family mission and accept the projection and expectations of his parents. This makes many spoiled eldest sons tied up, fearful, overwhelmed, and unable to let go. They pursue their own ideals in life, display their ambitions in life, and eventually become mature and mediocre. When they become adults, they have to rely on the support and care of their parents.

Because the second child faces competition with the eldest child from birth, it is easier for him to be aggressive and self-motivated. He wants to be "first" and "show off" in everything, and has a stronger sense of competitiveness and success. It’s just that it’s not easy to be calm, tolerant and tolerant. You need to remind yourself not to go overboard or use too much force in your dealings with others.

Children below the third child, especially the youngest ones, usually do not have to bear the expectations of their parents and the family mission, and they do not participate in the "vicious competition" and "fighting for power" between the eldest and the second child. It is easier for them to travel lightly and freely. Have a free, colorful and personalized life experience. If there is any "disadvantage", it is that the ranking is small, and it may be a bit "little talk", and the words are not taken seriously. There is also the possibility of becoming the punching bag of the eldest child and being "bullied" by older brothers and sisters.

What I said above is just a general, general, and cannot be said to be a strict "law". The reason why people are often swayed by some rules and habits is because they are involved in them and follow them blindly without knowing why. If you can see clearly the cause and effect relationship and the ins and outs early on, no matter you are the eldest, second eldest, third or fourth eldest, you can use your strengths and avoid weaknesses, seek advantages and avoid disadvantages, self-regulate the rhythm and direction of your life, and follow a path to make yourself fulfilled and satisfied. It is a path of life that benefits oneself and others, and is more meaningful.

I am the middle child in my family, and because I am a girl, I was rejected by my parents as soon as I was born. The person who delivered the baby saw that my dad didn't even want to look at me, so he offered to give my dad 500 and take me away. Back in 1987, 500 yuan was a lot. My dad was tempted. So, when I was born, I was carried away.

The day my mother came home, she suddenly regretted it again and said that she couldn’t just never see the child she gave birth to again! Therefore, I must ask my father to take me back, otherwise I will not go home with my father. As a last resort, my dad went to find someone else and brought me back.

Years later, I have always thought that if I had not been taken home, I would have been better off now. When the doctor gave me to others, he would naturally not give it to those who were too poor. After all, they couldn't afford it.

After returning home, it was the beginning of my pity, the beginning of my nightmare, and the beginning of my inability to establish a sense of security in my life.

After returning home, my mother weaned me off breastmilk when I was one month old, and started thinking about where to send me to raise her, because my mother wanted another baby.

Finally, my mother sent me to my aunt’s house in Xuzhou, my grandma’s sister’s house. According to my mother's description, my great-aunt was already over 70 at the time, and she couldn't hold me or coax me. She still had to work, so she could only put me in a small frame to lie down.

After I was more than one year old, I ran away. My aunt couldn't see me anymore, so my mother sent me to my uncle's house to raise me. But at that time, my uncle and aunt were also very busy, so they had no choice but to pile the bed high and let me sit on the bed by myself. When I peed, sometimes if I couldn't change it in time, it would get everywhere.

It is said that frequent changes of guardians during a baby's early years will result in the child being unable to establish a sense of security throughout his life, and the communication between people will also be unsatisfactory. Years later, I found that I have never been able to trust someone wholeheartedly. Maybe I can find the answer in my childhood.

Growing up slowly. My uncle also had a cousin who was one year older than me. He also bullied me, snatching away food and hitting me in pranks at every turn.

When did my mother take me back? Probably that was when she went to see me one time and happened to see my cousin pushing me into a mud pit and not allowing me to come out. In the late autumn, I shivered with cold in the mud pit and did not dare to move. As for my sister-in-law, she didn’t stop her from the side.

My mother said that when she saw me like that, she couldn't bear it anymore, so she decided to take me home.

After I came back, everything at home was strange. I have a sister who is four years older than me, and a little brother who was just born. My sister always says this is hers, that is hers, I can’t touch it. And my mother was busy taking care of her little brother and had no time to take care of me.

I spent most of my time sitting in front of my mother's bed, watching her coaxing my brother. Watching her eat again, she gave me two poached eggs in the bowl and said with a smile, "Eat it."

This scene is the best light and the warmest scene in my childhood memory. Other than that, my memory is all gloomy.

Later, when my sister went to school, I began to take care of my younger brother and wash the whole family’s clothes. Every day, my parents ordered me to work, pull weeds, feed pigs, all kinds of things, and I never had time to play.

At home, my elder sister is always the one who is pampered, and my younger brother is also cared for. I am the only one. Apart from being ordered to work by my parents, I don’t know what else I am used for.

Now that I have grown up, my mother is still partial. Every time my sister comes, she says thoughtful words and takes things. My mother always supported my brother. When I go back, I always buy a lot of things. When I come back, I always come back empty-handed.

Therefore, the one who is not favored will not be favored even after many years. This is the reality.