The funniest qq signature

1. Who has never been energetic, but have you ever been split?

2. Closing my eyes, I saw my future.

3. Problems that money can solve are not problems.

4. I don’t tidy my room, I am the beauty in a messy room.

5. He looked so excited, as if he had drunk urine sugar.

6. Sometimes, it is better to have less energy than to worry too much.

7. It is not a crime for a man to use a gun, but it is a crime for a woman to make do with it.

8. A thousand health cares, a thousand health cares, a balanced mentality is the key.

9. Why do you get up so early? The nightclub isn't open yet!

10. It’s unlucky for me to meet you at the most beautiful age.

11. No gifts will be accepted during the holidays this year. The only gifts will be train tickets.

12. Water makes noise because of obstruction, and people mature because of setbacks!

13. Luck is when opportunity happens to hit your hard work.

14. I broke up with summer vacation because of that bitch at the beginning of school!

15. Holding a kitchen knife in hand to cut the wires, sparks and lightning along the way.

16. In fact, I am a homebody. It’s just a matter of whose home I stay at.

17. I feel so unfortunate to know you in such a big world.

18. Instant noodles are indeed very convenient, but cooking them still requires electricity.

19. What is love in the world? The sage replied: Waste!

20. What is a mistress? He is just a human being at best.

21. Who said tofu can’t kill people? Try frozen tofu next time.

22. Do what you want to do. Otherwise, let the pigs talk nonsense.

23. What’s the use of a dog barking? Only if you really bite me will you be considered worthy.

24. You said we wanted to grow old together, but you secretly baked it.

25. What pet do you most want to keep? Ultraman

26. Being shameless, if done well, is called a strong psychological quality.

27. Don’t think that just because you have shit on your head, you are a diamond gourd baby.

28. Those who tell the truth are covered in bruises. Those who tell lies are covered in beauty.

29. Don’t use your identity as a commoner to tell me the story of the Black Society.

30. Men enjoy a moment, but women enjoy the whole process.

31. There is only one yourself in the world, there is no need to be someone else’s interruption.

32. It’s okay to joke. First, don't cross people's bottom line, and second, don't poke people's pain points.

33. Have you been thrown up several times since you were born, but only caught once?

34. I will be your heart in the next life. At least if I don’t beat it, you will die.

35. Use a smile to pretend not to care about your ridicule or your departure.

36. This is what a slut is like if you can only take a step back to make things worse.

37. There are many ways to destroy friendship, and the most thorough one is to borrow money.

38. My friend said, Hey, you’re really good. It’s been a long time since I last saw you, and you’re as fat as two people.

39. The highest state of a shameless person is to be completely unaware of his shamelessness.

40. My life has side A and side B, and your life has side S and side B.

41. Women are tools for making human beings, and men are human beings who use tools.

42. Confucius said: If you don’t sleep at noon, you will doze off in the afternoon. I said: Confucius is right.

43. In my life, the only thing I can hold and put down is chopsticks.

44. People want to lose weight to reduce their waist and butt. Why do you have to start with brain cells?

45. The time is right, the place is right, the feelings are right, but the characters are wrong.

46. If the teacher hadn’t told you not to litter, I would have thrown you out earlier.

47. The biggest difference between doing and not doing is: the latter has the right to comment on the former.

48. If you have any questions, please go straight to the topic and don’t use your ignorance to challenge my blacklist.

49. Horses are prone to stumble on soft soil, and people are prone to fall when they are sweet-talked.

50. I come quietly, leave quietly, wave my dagger, and leave no one alive.

51. An Neng can bend his eyebrows and bend his waist to serve the powerful. Anyway, the ten yuan is yours to spend.

52. Rabbits don’t eat grass near their nests, not to mention the quality is not good, so why bother looking for it around you.

53. When dry firewood meets a strong fire, it is called a bright show; when wet firewood meets a small flame, it is called a dull show.

54. Face is something external to the body, you can want it or not. Money is a necessary thing, you have to have it.

55. Don’t say that others have brain disease. The prerequisite for brain disease is that you must have a brain.

56. Whenever the charge horn sounds, I quickly hide in the trench, because: I am an undercover!

57. Women don’t want to spend money, unless they don’t come to their aunt, and men don’t want to spend money, unless they come to their aunt.

58. I would rather you hold other women and miss me than you hold me and miss other women.

59. It suddenly started to snow in my world, my God! Please stop brushing your hair next to me.

60. School is about to start. Don’t be ridiculous. I haven’t even touched my homework yet. What should I do to start school?

61. Be a hooligan with temperament, a pervert with taste, and an illiterate with knowledge!

62. Love is inherently a shameful project. Love has no truth, no truth, and no dignity.

63. Failure is success. Then I have many mothers, but none of them are pregnant.

64. Everyone is original when they are born, but sadly, many people gradually become pirates. .

65. I am a special person, I am an ordinary person, so I am a particularly ordinary person.

66. For those who gossip behind my back, I really want to call them grandpa and daddy.

67. After the teacher finished the lesson, he said: Is there anything else you don’t understand? I stretched and said, "Teacher, what kind of lesson is this?"

68. No matter how awesome the If You Are the One female guest is, she can only put out one man's lamp, but the aunt downstairs in the dormitory can put out the entire floor!

69. What is redundant? The cotton-padded jacket in summer, the cattail leaf fan in winter, and your attentiveness after I was cold-hearted.

70. I have music, beer, but I don’t have a girlfriend. Who wants to play with me and play games with me?

71. If no teacher can teach all subjects, then why should one student learn all subjects?

72. I am in a bad mood today. I only have four sentences to say, including this sentence and the previous two sentences. I have finished my words.

73. Give me a fulcrum, and I will tilt the neighbor's car into the ditch to prevent him from honking the horn when he sees me.

74. If your high school classmate was sitting at a KTV and you happened to meet her, what would you do? I will point her out.

75. After getting up today, I told my husband: I’m going to put on makeup. This idiot said: That's not makeup, it's transformation.

76. The teacher said: Recently, some students always say they are stressed. Why? The students thought to themselves: It’s not because of you, teacher.

77. I skipped too many classes. One day I wanted to go to class. When I saw the professor, the professor was surprised and said, "I haven't seen you for such a long time and you have grown up so much."

78. In order to cooperate with the successful completion of China’s family planning work this year, I have decided not to have contact with friends of the opposite sex for the time being. Thank you for your cooperation.

79. The script of figuring out your life is not a sequel to your parents, nor a prequel to your children, nor a sequel to your friends.

80. Everyone is a king, domineering in his own world. It is not easy for you to listen to me, but it is not easy for you to let me listen to you.

81. Question: What are the most commonly used functions of mobile phones? Answer: It depends on the time. Q: What is the most heart-pounding feature of a mobile phone? Answer: Vibration.

82. I have been having a weird brain lately. I often get up in the middle of the night and look at the pig shed in a daze, thinking about the reason, and finally figure out that you were kicked by a donkey.

83. Girls in the Chinese Department fantasize about love, girls in the Mathematics Department calculate love, girls in the History Department criticize love, and girls in the Foreign Languages ??Department talk about love.

84. I want to be a man and work hard to earn money; wages are only rising slowly, and house prices are rising rapidly for no reason; it is so difficult to raise a down payment, so I have no choice but to continue being single! The funniest QQ personalized signature

1. Live well, because we will die for a long time!

2. Who hasn’t been energetic, but have you ever been split?

3. The only thing I can afford but cannot put down is chopsticks.

4. It is not a crime for a man to use a gun, but it is a crime for a woman to use guns to get along in society.

5. Asking what love is in the world will only make people die with eyes wide open.

6. When a woman pursues a man, there is a veil between them. Men chase women, and mothers are separated from each other.

7. The color of the banknotes in your pocket determines your mood today.

8. I blame myself for being too young and not being able to distinguish between a human and a dog.

9. Shrews always appear in public places playing tricks.

10. If there weren’t too many scammers, I would have sold my kidney long ago!

11. No matter how awesome Chopin is, he can’t express my sadness!

12. I hate Qin Shihuang. He burned books but didn’t finish them.

13. Have you ever thought about committing suicide? I want to fucking kill you!

14. Quarrel is always bad, why not just have a duel?

15. In the eyes of fools, the wisdom of smart people is worthless.

16. In the last few days of winter vacation, almost every house is brightly lit.

17. Apart from teeth, there is also love that makes people unable to extricate themselves.

18. Whether riding a bicycle is fashionable or not depends on whether you are really poor.

19. Everyone says I am ugly, but in fact I am just not obviously beautiful.

20. Everyone says that I am obedient, but in fact I only listen to myself.

21. You think of others too complicatedly because you are not simple either.

22. Every parent has jet lag. It’s obvious that it’s just a little while, but a little and a half.

23. I like the way you can’t stand me but can’t kill me.

24. If a man is not sexy, it is not his true nature; if a woman is not coquettish, she has no unique skills.

25. If a man doesn’t help you put on your wedding dress, give him a cassock.

26. If you don’t like me, you can choose to commit suicide or pretend to be blind.

27. No matter how many times you turn around, your butt is still behind you.

28. The simplest secret of longevity is to keep breathing and don’t stop breathing.

29. Please don’t use your second mouth to seduce my third leg.

30. The reason why every couple breaks up is that we are not suitable.

31. Even if God does not entrust me with any great responsibility, it will still torture my mind and strain my muscles and bones.

32. The most painful love triangle in the world: I love food, fat loves me.

33. Wear other people’s shoes, go your own way, and let them find it.

34. Oh, liar, there is no beef in beef instant noodles.

35. Marriage inspiration, as long as he treats me well, even if he is handsome!

36. The most domineering sentence when I was a child: Just wait and see after school.

37. The most romantic thing I can think of is to watch you grow old alone.

38. When I woke up in the morning, I thought I had grown up, but it turned out that the quilt was covered horizontally.

39. The person shitting on your head may not be your enemy, it may be your son.

40. In this evil new society, why don’t you have arranged marriages?

41. Look at your appearance, you look like you are joking!

42. Superman always wears briefs to fly because the triangle has stability.

43. People cannot take money into the grave, but money can take people into the grave.

44. After all, I wear glasses, how can I tease a decent woman?

45. Falling is not terrible. What is terrible is that when a person falls, he is very sober!

46. Sleep is an art. No one can stop me from pursuing art.

47. Some people are alive, but she is dead. Some people are alive, and he should have died long ago!

48. I don’t agree with your point of view, but I will defend to the death your right not to speak.

49. When dry firewood meets a strong fire, it is called a bright show; when wet firewood meets a small flame, it is called a dull show.

50. I locked up the candy and buried it, but later I lost the key.

51. We are good friends. If you fall, I will help you, but you must let me finish laughing first.

52. The freshmen in the first grade of junior high school have become familiar with each other; the younger brother in the second grade of junior high school has fallen in love; and it is time for the high school entrance examination in the third grade of junior high school.

53. Either be patient or cruel. If I don’t beat you, you don’t know that I am both civil and military.

54. I'm not stupid, just a little stupid; I'm not lazy, I just don't like to move; that's all.

55. I haven’t written with a pen for a long time. I don’t know if I don’t write. I was shocked when I wrote: Martian writing.

56. There are two things in the world that can lean on the glass, one is the gecko and the other is the head teacher.

57. Life is like an electrocardiogram. If you want it to be smooth sailing without ups and downs, you will have to die.

58. I have always regarded handsome men and money as dirt, and they have always regarded me this way.

59. The left side of the head is filled with flour, and the right side of the head is filled with water. Whenever I think about a problem, my head is full of paste.

60. I have a pretty good temper and I won’t be angry at all because of my bad temper. .

61. Regarding thongs: In the past, I took off my underwear to look at my butt; now, I pull my butt off and look at my underwear

62. Eat what I want, lose weight and see what I want. Yes, you can't have both, so I'll just leave.

63. A grievance that can be expressed is not a grievance; a lover that can be snatched away is not a lover.

64. I taste the ups and downs by myself, I bear the joys and sorrows by myself, and no one has the right to tell me what I am wrong about.

65. "Spring Dawn" Sleeping in spring without waking up, there are worries everywhere. If you don't turn on the lights at night, there will be a lot of theft.

66. Buying a computer but not having broadband is like having all the food and wine prepared but becoming a monk before eating.

67. If you are a white-collar worker, you need to prepare a few white shirts. Firstly, it is professional, and secondly, it is easy to reveal the color of your bra!

68. I was already sad enough when I drank dichlorvos, but when I encountered another bottle, I collapsed even more.

69. There is an old legend that those who can see beautiful women on XX campus will live forever

70. Gold always shines, but when it is everywhere When it comes to gold, I don’t even know which one I am.

71. I don’t care if I wear a short skirt, but I still wear leggings! Will he still peek at you? Trust between people is gone.

72. In our love, I have always played the role of loving you. When we break up, don’t ask me why we broke up, ask yourself.

73. The teacher said: Recently, some students always say they are stressed. Why? The students thought to themselves: It’s not because of you, teacher.

74. Man, I’m so tired! I feel sleepy even standing up, my heart suffers from loving you, I have to pay taxes to get a salary at work, I have to queue up to eat after get off work, I suffer from living!

75. If someone doesn’t offend me, I won’t offend anyone; if someone offends me, I’ll be polite; if someone offends me again, I’ll give him a shot in return; if someone offends me again, I’ll root it out.

76. Safety production must be kept in mind, don’t waste time and don’t get angry, the machine is a slot machine, it will ignore you if you get injured, come to work happily and go home intact

77 , The girls in our school turned around, the teacher and the principal jumped off the building, the girls in our school turned around twice, the Yangtze and Yellow Rivers flowed backwards, the girls in our school turned around three times, there is no need to worry about regaining Taiwan!

78. Hold your hand, follow your feelings, go to the entrance of the alley, let go of your hand, oh my, you dog, you will eat other people’s bitches without even saying hello. mouth!

79. The beauty of knowledge lies in making people confused; the beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; the beauty of women lies in being so stupid that they have no regrets; the beauty of men lies in lying so that they can see ghosts in daylight.

The funniest QQ personalized signatures in 2019

1. You are the wind and I am the sand, you are the toothpaste and I brush it, you are the Hami and I am the melon, if you don’t love me I commit suicide

2. The mountain is not high, but immortals are famous; the water is not abundant, as long as it is drinkable

3. If I have an ideal, I will pursue it, otherwise I will die in peace

4. People say I look like Hou. In fact, I really want to tell you that I am your ancestor

5. When I took the photo, I felt that my smile was natural, but when I took the photo, I looked like a facial paralysis

6. Sister, I don’t have a man, so it’s better to be fat and survive the winter

7. The happiest thing I can think of is to see you being unlucky every day

8. Those who sow melons will also sow beans. You get beans, sow tortoises get tortoises

9. I thought I could give you a surprise this time, but I didn’t want to scare you all the time

10. I will lose my love in the future. Cut off all my fingernails to prove that I have also self-harmed for the invitation

11. You must admit that there are always some friends around you whose laughter is funnier than the joke

12. Mobile phone It’s okay to live without it, but I can’t live without a mobile phone

13. For a big event like National Day, it’s best to celebrate it with the whole country for a month

14. Don’t I have a crush on my sister, and I already have a crush on her.

15. It’s not that easy to lose weight, just because the flesh on your body is very delicate

16. Among so many people, I like it the most It’s all your own business

17. You don’t even know what you do, but you are still really sad

18. I really want to throw you away, you This worthless thing, why does it hurt?

19. You are 2, I am 4, you are nothing but 2 or 2

20. I can’t keep up with the times, others They all say that the next stop is happiness, but I am indeed stuck in traffic at the next stop

21. If I were a man in my next life, I would marry a woman like me

22. I can’t let all the Everyone is satisfied, because not all people are human

23. The biggest tragedy in life: beauties grow old and heroes go bald

24. Say sorry to yourself, that’s it It hurts myself for the rest of my life

25. Love disappeared, and we lost our way in the process of desperately escaping

26. Even if the whole world betrays me, I will not betray myself

27. Whether you like her, whether she is suitable, and whether you can be together are three different things

28. You want to be with her, but you don’t see her It depends on yourself, are you worthy?

29. Even if you fall down in the next second, you will still fall down in this second. Do you think you are a god?

30. I don’t allow you to disturb My determination, because of your alarm clock, makes me unable to sleep well every day

31. There is a person who teaches you how to love, but he doesn’t love anymore

32 , I’m selfish, you’re philandering, I hide, you cheat, we each have our own problems

33. There are always protagonists and supporting roles in love. It is the protagonist who is tired and the supporting role who is hurt< /p>

34. I don’t care about anyone, I’m just afraid that I will be the one who makes me sad

35. Unknowingly, I find that I can never forget you

36 , Reminiscing is a very tiring thing, just like being unable to sleep when you have insomnia

37. It’s not that I don’t blame you if you don’t understand me, but how can I blame you

38. I heard that you will get happiness after falling in love, so why don’t I get happiness?

39. When you fall in love with someone, even if you are unhappy, you still want to be together

40. When you are sad, I will make you happy. The most crazy funny QQ signatures in 2019

The craziest QQ funny signatures in 20xx

1. I only weigh one hundred and am not flat-chested. Just short

2. I have never been cheated by anyone, because those who cheated me are not human beings

3. The most fake sentence in the world, Wei Cheng

Adults are not allowed to enter

4. If you do such an exciting thing, I'm afraid you won't be able to bear the excitement in the end

5. When you die, please don't turn into a ghost. Because I will be afraid

6. If you like a bottle of dichlorvos so much, then buy a bottle of dichlorvos

7. If I don’t show off my power, you will treat me as a sick cat, so don’t take kindness for granted Growing up is easy to bully

8. Growing up is a period of painful pain, and being reckless is called youth

9. It doesn’t matter, we are just friends, so there is no reason to separate

10. In these boring years, there is another boring me

11. If you do something wrong, don’t think about how to make it back, because there is no regret medicine in the world

12. There are only so many places around me. When someone comes, someone will leave

13. I am used to your presence, so I have become like this

14. Do you like to see jokes? Then I will finish the story for you with a smile

15. Do you know what it feels like to feel the pain in your heart? Do you want to experience it? Feeling bruised all over

16. I have no patience with you at all, be careful I will kick you out

17. Now that I have nothing, I no longer care about you Reason

18. You have delayed my youth, now I want to recover that youth debt

19. Don’t talk to me about life, because you are not a person in life

p>

20. We have always lived a boring life, love is the same, commemorate my boring love

21. You talk about love in such a sensational way, how can I not believe it

22. Hitting means kissing, scolding means loving, and if you don’t love me, you kick me with your feet

23. Your QQ is always invisible to me, but you don’t know that you are no longer in my group< /p>

24. Love no longer exists in the world, because your conscience has been chewed by dogs

25. Geneticists tell us: cross-species love will never have good results< /p>

26. Sister, your charming facial features are the beginning of your crime

27. The most annoying thing in the world is not playing the piano to a cow, but a group of people playing cotton to you

28. If you want to gain weight, don’t go for your waist, go for your chest

29. Thick thighs, black stockings, this summer is really scary

30. Life now It can no longer satisfy me, so I want to break through

31. When I feel bad, I will call 10086, because he never scolds me

32. I have myopia A great advantage is that he can be very close to you and look at you

33. Even if a famous flower has an owner, the soil must be loosened from time to time

34. My friend, I am now I'm very busy. If you need anything, please call 10086

35. Money is not a problem for me at all. The problem is that I have no money at all

36. The laughter is getting lower and lower. It’s because life is getting harder and harder

37. It’s easy to lose your temper if you walk too fast

38. My attitude has always been decided by me

39. Why are you pretending to be a city dweller? Now the whole earth is called a village

40. Don’t fucking regard the attraction of opposite sex as the so-called love

41. It’s your bad mouth , that’s why I whipped you

42. Watching her cry, my heart is bleeding, you know?

43. Love, what the hell, are you kidding me? It’s really ridiculous

44. I’m more than three years old, so of course I know what’s interesting

45. Life is like flipping through a book, and you’ll lose it after flipping through it

46. ??Don’t say that I have changed, it’s all thanks to you

47. My world will be more exciting without you, so get out of here right away

48. I can love You can leave vigorously or simply, it all depends on you

49. Don’t pretend to wish me happiness, you are not qualified to say that

50. You always appear in my nightmares and never give me the slightest bit of beauty