Joke Collection Website - Mood Talk - Selected homophonic jokes for primary school students

Selected homophonic jokes for primary school students

1. Chinese teachers often teach students: "Use metaphors in writing, so as to make things more concrete and vivid."

A student wrote in his composition: "Our teacher is like a strong cow, feeding us with sweet milk to grow sturdily."

2. Alcoholics applied for a job in a wine company and tasted wine for more than a dozen times. All of them told the year and degree, and the examiners were all shocked. The manager winked at the female secretary, who took a cup of urine and handed it to her. After drinking, the drunkard said: Female, 23 years old, pregnant in February! Suddenly the whole audience was silent. The drunkard thought the application failed, and angrily said, If you don't give me this job, I'll tell the father of the child! Several leaders present at the scene quickly said in unison: You have been admitted!

3. A friend said, "What is loneliness, that is, it took three months ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… * * * I want to drag this kind of person from the computer and slap him hard: "Yes, yes, yes, I said yes!" * * * is to finish the second half of the sentence! "

5. The teacher assigns homework. "Exercise four, five, seven, nine, eleven, sixteen, nineteen. Just do this. " Suddenly I heard a shout: "Teacher, there is still one question missing. Arrange another one. " The teacher was overjoyed and thought that we would finally look forward to the day when we took the initiative to study. So he smiled and said, "OK, add questions 22 and 27." After class * * * rang, all the boys ran to the lottery betting station and said, "It's very kind of our teacher. Now we even have a special number."

6. The teacher is helping a pupil fill in the registration form. She asks: What does your father do?

Pupils proudly say: My father is the governor!

The teacher was shocked and asked: Which province is the governor?

The pupil replied: When I was in kindergarten, my father never bought me toys, so I saved as much as I could. My aunts said that my father was the most economical parent, and later I was called the governor.

7. When I was a child, I was scolded by my teacher for writing wrong words. The teacher read in class: There are golden watches all over the floor, some of which are mature, with their heads down, some of which are immature and graceful ... < P > 8. Pupils are late for school and stand at the door sobbing.

The teacher asked angrily, "Why are you late?"

The pupils were crying: "I ... I ... my grandfather ..."

The teacher was shocked! Poor boy, comfort him and say, don't be sad. Your grandfather doesn't want you to cry in heaven.

Then the pupils went on crying: "My grandfather fell asleep and didn't wake me up."

9. Mom: Tell me, what did your father mumble when he slipped down the ladder? Tom: Can you spare me those dirty words he said? Mom: Of course. Tom: That's all.

1. My brother is in the fifth grade of primary school and has a Chinese exam. Explain the meaning of the idiom "six gods have no master"? Guess what he wrote ... Damn it! He wrote, whose bottle of Liushen toilet water is this? I'm on my knees!

11. The child eats at his aunt's house, and her aunt cooks fish for him. The child said while eating: this fish is delicious, it would be better if it didn't put thorns!

12. One day, a child asked his teacher,' What's 7+1?'? The teacher said: 8, you are so stupid, then I will teach you one more minute every day! The child said: No, this formula is to describe you-7+1 = ugly. Ha ha ha ha `````````.

13. On the bus, I picked up the fruit and offered my seat to an old man. Guoguo looked at the old man for a while and whispered to me, "Mom, will you get old?" I replied, "Yes." "Then will your hair be white?" "Yes, as white as your grandmother's hair." "ah! Are you as old as grandma? " "yes." Guoguo stared at me for n seconds and said, "Oh, my God, then I will have two grandmothers!" "

14. After a heavy rain, Xiaoling dragged her father's big rain boots to play with water. There is a hole in the rain boots, and there is water. Xiaoling thought, this is easy to handle. Just open another hole and let the water flow out. So he used scissors to make another hole in the soles of his boots. If the water in the rain boots accumulates more and more. Xiaoling sighed: How many holes do you have to open before the water can go out?

15. A child fell into a roadside well and shouted for help. B child heard it and asked: Are you all right? A child said quickly: call me dad! ! B: Damn it, I don't care about you. Why should I call you dad? ! !

16. A visiting lady wondered why her little nephew was so polite. "You are so good." She said, "Why are you so obedient?" The little nephew replied, "Because my mother promised to buy me a toy panda, if I didn't laugh at your garlic nose and fanny ears."

17. Dagang and Zhiqiang are six years old. One day Dagang asked Zhiqiang: What is a typhoon? Can you tell me? Zhiqiang replied: You are so stupid! I didn't even know that a typhoon was the wind blowing from Taiwan Province.

18. I heard my second brother ask her five-year-old daughter, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" A: "The police." He asked again, "Why the police?" Answer: "because the teacher often says that money should be given to the police uncle."

19, a child in front of the Agricultural Bank of China, read: China agriculture is very good! ..... After a while, I read in front of China Industrial and Commercial Bank: China Industry and Commerce is very good! ..... read in front of the People's Bank of China: China people are very good! Wow! China, anything will do!

2. I spread a carpet on the floor, which is furry. My two-year-old daughter loves to lie on the blanket. One day I couldn't stand it: why are you lying on the ground again? My daughter got up and whispered, I tripped over an ant.

21. When my four-year-old son listened to the children's song Little Dragon Man, he sang, "I have horns on my head and a tail behind me. No one knows how many secrets I have." At that time, my son said loudly, "Dad, I have two * * *!" "

22. My son is three years old. One day, he came to me and asked me, Mom, do you love me? I said: Mom loves Xiaobao very much! He immediately said: Then marry the uncle who sells ice cream! ......

23. We call a child's penis Niu Niu here. Once, a colleague brought his two-year-old son Niu Niu to our house to play. My three-year-old son enthusiastically took Niu Niu and went out to play. We didn't care when we thought that the yard was full of acquaintances. After half a day, my son came back alone, and my colleague asked: What about Niu Niu? My son crossed his legs, looked at his crotch pants and said, Isn't Niu Niu right here?

24. One day, I had a video with my brother, and my son was by. My brother asked me if I missed my uncle. The son said, "Yes." "Then you come." At this time, my son ran into the video window and I hugged him. The son cried and said, "I want to go over, I want to go over."

25. Xiaoming wrote a composition and handed it to the teacher. Because the handwriting was too scrawled, the teacher looked left and right, but he didn't recognize a word, let alone understand the meaning of the text. So the teacher wrote with a stroke of his hand: it looks like a prescription, and it is a material for being a doctor.

26. Mom: "Mom and Dad have something to do tonight, so they won't be back until late." Xiao Ming: "Then I will be very tired!" " Mom: "How tired." Xiao Ming: "I will be tired of watching TV!" "

27. My little nephew is only two and a half years old, and he is naughty and humorous. Dad tried to hit him when he made a mistake, and he ran away and called * * * gone. Asked why it was gone, he replied: I was playing outside just now and forgot to bring it back when I came back.

28. Jia Jia stood behind the painter who sketched for a long time and then asked, "Uncle, are you poor? It's so hard, why not buy a camera? "

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