This is not to coax the baby, this is to destroy the baby. When you hear the old man say these words to the children, parents have to stop them. Have you ever heard these words?

In today's society, it is almost the first choice for most families for the elderly to take care of their children. Especially when young parents are busy at work, children spend most of their time with grandparents or grandparents.

It is not easy for the elderly to take care of their children. Of course, we should be grateful. But respect and gratitude do not mean that we can compromise in principle.

Many times, we will find that the influence of language on children can really be great enough to affect their character formation and mental health. And these "powerful" languages are often the "mantra" that the old people often say but disagree with.

Therefore, parents must stop when they hear the old man say these words to their children!

1, xxx, you don't listen, I listen. ...

This sentence is often used by young parents, not to mention the elderly. Especially when children are naughty and disobedient, we will inevitably threaten a few words: xxx, if you are disobedient, I will throw you upstairs; Xxx, if you don't listen, I won't want you; Xxx, if you don't listen, I will be a grandmother for other children. ...

Generally speaking, the establishment of children's sense of security is divided into four stages: unconditional acceptance, trying to separate, trying to be independent and building a sense of security. And unconditional acceptance is the first step to build a sense of security.

If children are always threatened and intimidated by words like "I don't love you" and "I don't want you", children will not be satisfied with "unconditional acceptance", and over time, their sense of security will be problematic.

Insecure children will become "clingy" when they grow up, lacking autonomy, being jealous and possessive.

2. Grandparents help you ...

Everyone wants to cultivate children's independence, but in the process of children's growth, we may be disappointed to find that although children reach a certain age, their self-care ability is still very poor.

If the old people at home often say to their children when they were young: grandparents help you ... this may be one of the reasons why children can't stand on their own feet.

It is not difficult for us to understand the psychology that the old people want to do everything for their children because they love them dearly, but this "doting" of the old people will deprive children of many opportunities for exercise and growth, and will unconsciously stifle their ability to solve problems independently.

3. Don't touch ... Don't move ... Leave ...

If there is a real security risk, there is no problem at all. After all, the safety of children is the most important thing.

What we are talking about here is an issue of "over-protection". In order to avoid "accidents", many elderly people always prevent their children from exploring new things, even under the premise that security measures are very guaranteed. For example, you can't touch it here, there will be bacteria, and you can't touch it there, it's too dirty. ...

This special emphasis on safety will lead to the deprivation of touch when children grow up.

Among all sensory information, tactile stimulation has the highest frequency, and countless tactile information is constantly input into our brains every day. If the child's sense of touch is insufficient, it will affect the child's ability to control the body, such as sensory imbalance, weak brain resolution, and inflexible limbs.

4. Call your uncle and aunt! What a pity! No manners!

My mother often hears this sentence, especially when we meet for the first time or say goodbye. Many old people will push their children and say, "Say hello to your uncles and aunts. It is impolite not to call people! "

Is it rude not to say hello? Not necessarily!

Every child has a different personality. Some children are naturally warm and sociable, and greeting them is as simple as eating and drinking water. However, some children are slow-witted and slow-witted, and feel nervous and at a loss about strangers, and even struggle hard with nervousness.

If you can't correctly observe your child's psychological needs and force him to say hello, it may lead to his rebellious attitude towards this matter. If children are labeled as "impolite" because they refuse to say hello, over time, children will become more anxious and even affect their social skills in the future.

The child is too young to understand.

Bean mother once walked in the community and saw a little boy deliberately pushing a little girl to the ground, refusing to apologize. Of course, the little girl's mother didn't want to, so she went to the little boy's grandmother to reason. As a result, the old people are too lazy to laugh, but they are all children and don't understand. ...

This kind of old people typically regard "children are still young" as the reason for children to make mistakes and forgive. As a result, the more sheltered children are, the less they feel right and wrong, and the more they go their own way.

Are children really not sensible when they are young? Of course not!

We will find that 3-year-old children can already observe adults' expressions and expressions, and 4-year-old children will adjust their attitudes according to their parents' tone of voice. Children are actually very smart, and their learning ability is far beyond the imagination of adults. Therefore, no matter the elderly or parents, when children make mistakes, they must be serious and correct them in time, and never deceive themselves into thinking that children are young and ignorant.

6, nothing, have a taste!

This sentence often happens in the bulk food section of supermarkets.

The old man took his children to the supermarket and passed by the area where raisins, biscuits and peanuts were in bulk. Children are often very curious about these exposed foods, either trying to touch them with their hands or picking them up and stuffing them into their mouths.

At this time, many old people's practice is to quietly pick up one or two tablets and stuff them in their mouths for their children to eat: nothing, try one!

If you do this often, children will take it for granted that things here can be eaten without paying, or as long as they don't take too much. In the long run, the child's greed for petty gain will be formed. If it goes too far, it is no different from a "thief".

In this case, parents must come forward to stop it, tell their children that goods that have not been paid are absolutely forbidden to eat, and also communicate with the elderly in time to make their consumption views as close as possible.

In all fairness, it is hard for the elderly to take care of their children, but when we meet some places that really need to be corrected, as young parents, we should also communicate effectively with the elderly. In the process of communication, we should remind the elderly concisely, don't be too verbose, share the opinions of authoritative people with the elderly, and let the two generations have more intersections in parenting.

These six sentences your old man said when he took care of the baby? If so, how do you usually communicate with the elderly? Remember to share your experience with your mother!