What are the skills of speech and eloquence?

What are the skills of speech and eloquence?

In the process of language communication, euphemism is a miraculous glue. Tactfulness is a way of treating each other with frank and open communication, while also respecting the feelings of others and not causing unnecessary harm. Therefore, a person who can tell a story is also a good speaker. Below are the speech and eloquence skills I bring to you, welcome to read.

1. Don’t be stingy with your praise

Praising others helps to promote the virtues of the person being praised and promotes the healthy development of mutual friendship. It can also Eliminate interpersonal discord and resentment. Compliments are a good thing, but they are never easy. If you don't assess the situation and master certain skills when praising others, even if you are sincere, it will turn a good thing into a bad thing. Therefore, we must master the following praise skills:

1. Praise must be natural and sincere.

Sincere praise comes from the heart. It "shows off" the other person's strengths and sincerely appreciates them. The content of the praise is indeed factual and not false. The tone of praise is usually friendly and natural, and the expression is sincere, making people feel sincere. If you praise others with a cold face or a sarcastic tone, your praise will change.

How to sincerely praise others? Praise to relatives and friends is of course motivated by well-intentioned encouragement, but it often unconsciously contains elements of favoritism or flattery. You can have a more enthusiastic attitude and a warmer tone, but your evaluation of people and things must never be deviated from an objective perspective, and your wording should also have a certain degree of propriety.

2. Praise depends on the object and pay attention to the content of the praise.

In front of a girl who loves beauty, you should praise her dress; for a mother with children, it is best to praise her children; for a girl who loves work, in addition to praising her appearance, You can also praise her excellent work performance; as for men, it is best to start with work, and you can praise his abilities. Praise depends on the object. People's temperaments are good or bad, and their age is different. They vary from person to person. It highlights the unique temperament of the individual. This kind of unique praise can achieve better results than ordinary praise. .

People often praise others: "You wrote this article really well", "Your clothes are beautiful", "You sing well", this kind of praise does not make the other person happy. , sometimes even think that you are simply perfunctory and make the other party feel disgusted. When complimenting others, be as specific as possible. For example, the above three sentences of praise can be changed to: "You wrote this article well. Especially the question asked at the end is very innovative. No one has paid attention to this issue, and I was very touched after reading it", " Your dress is very beautiful and the style is very suitable for your age." "You sing really well. People who don't know you must think you are a professional singer." This kind of specific and passionate praise will be happily accepted by the other party.

Special compliments are more valuable than ordinary compliments. For any person, the most praiseworthy thing is not the advantages that are already well known in him, but the advantages that are hidden in him and have not yet been discovered. This kind of praise will not only surprise him, but maybe your words will make him realize his hidden potential, thus changing his life experience.

3. Praise the little people more.

As the saying goes: "A friend in need is a friend indeed." Those who need praise most are not those who have already achieved success, but those who have been buried and have an inferiority complex, or are in adversity. It is usually difficult for them to hear a word of praise for themselves. Once they are sincerely praised in public, they may regain their self-confidence and cheer up to achieve a career. Therefore, the most constructive praise is not "icing on the cake", but "helping when needed".

In addition, praise from a third party can move people's hearts even more.

Many words of praise came from the mouths of others, which really made my heart very happy, or another kind of praise came from the mouths of elders and superiors, which made the person involved not only feel happy, but also a little bit more. Proud and moved. Although you do not do things to get praise from others, if your success can be recognized by others, and the people you respect also deeply agree, I believe it will make you more enterprising and work harder.

But the more compliments, the better. Because, after all, praising people is not the ultimate goal of maintaining interpersonal relationships. It is just a means to bring people closer. Therefore, the words of praise should be spoken to the end, and then quickly turn to the topic of the conversation in a harmonious atmosphere. Praise is just a "prologue". Excessive praise, once it turns into flattery, loses its positive meaning. Remember the old saying: "Too much is too little!"

2. Learn to refuse

To learn to refuse, you must learn to refuse. To challenge ourselves, to challenge our face; to learn to refuse is to reject this kind of face, to reject the inferiority, cowardice and vanity that come from our hearts, and to make ourselves real, confident and brave; to learn to refuse is to dare to treat ourselves If you don't like people or things, say "no" boldly. Although rejection is difficult to say out loud, there are "ways" to follow:

1. Refusing with excuses

If you encounter a request hidden in the other party's invitation, you might as well use this method. No matter what the reason is, a smart person will definitely understand what you mean.

2. Use silence with rich meanings

People have different understandings of the connotation of silence, and it has different meanings in different situations. Silence can express resistance or tolerance; silence can express firm denial or acquiescence; silence can express the dullness of a dull person or the rich inner thinking.

3. Ask others to tell others

Generally speaking, it is always difficult to accept rejection in front of others or expressing rejection in person. After all, the gap between it and what they expected is too big. Others' requests are like a beautiful soap bubble. It would be cruel to pop it immediately, but asking others to pass it on gives others time and psychological buffer, which makes it easier for others to accept.

4. Changing the topic is a negative answer

It is not necessary to answer the request with "yes" and "no". Putting the question aside is synonymous with rejection. If the other person says: "Let's skate here again tomorrow!" "Oh! I think we should go back!" Your answer is irrelevant. At least it will make the other person feel that you are indifferent to this proposal, and he will know that you don't want to agree to it. requirements.

5. Give pointers

When you are unable to respond to someone else’s request or really don’t want to help, you can introduce him to several ways to solve the problem. If the path you pointed out is still "no way", I believe your friend will not blame you. After all, you are trying your best to help him make suggestions. Of course, if you succeed as a result, you will naturally become the object of gratitude.

6. Give a vague answer and propose a choice

If a friend or loved one proposes to go to the park to enjoy flowers on the weekend, don’t rush to reject it with, “I won’t go, it won’t be fun at all!” Kind words can easily hurt the other person's self-esteem and dampen other people's enthusiasm and interest. You can say: "Viewing flowers is great! It would be great to go boating at this time of year!" This answer sounds like you agree with the other person's suggestion, but it shows that you are more inclined to go boating, which is essentially a denial. .

Don’t insist on agreeing to all requests because you are afraid of hurting the other person’s feelings and face. Once you can’t do things well as others expect and as you promised, you may even delay things and make yourself miserable. My friends and I felt embarrassed.

3. Apologize at the right time and in the right place

1. Apologize at the right time and occasion

If you choose to apologize when the other person is calm and in a good mood , resentment is often easily resolved; or when the other party has a happy event coming, "people feel refreshed when happy events happen", it is easier to accept your apology at this time. It won’t be difficult to shake hands with you and get back on good terms with you.

2. When apologizing, you must know how to watch your words

When the other person is irritated and angry, your apology will not have much effect, and you may even be insulted. The best way at this time is to walk away quietly, wait for the other person to vent their anger, and then find a way to apologize after a proper cooling-off period.

3. Apology should not be delayed

It is difficult to imagine how effective a "I'm sorry" will be decades later: a confession that is too late is meaningless. Therefore, the time to apologize is sooner rather than later. Sometimes if you delay for a few days, you may miss the right opportunity. It is useless to regret it later. You can only regret it for the rest of your life. Therefore, when you need to apologize, you should apologize immediately. The longer you delay, the harder it will be to say it.

4. Master the skills of speaking

1. Speaking too "honestly" is a fool

Some people often change their faces, and they can always be in danger. Turn danger into safety. These people act according to the situation. One day they raise their left hand to support this doctrine, and tomorrow they raise their right hand to support that doctrine.

2. Wise people are euphemistic and reserved, while fools speak without restraint.

Euphemistic and implicit expression is an art of language. Euphemistic and implicit expressions can better reflect people's language cultivation than speaking bluntly and bluntly. Although being straightforward and straight to the point is simple and clear, it is too irritating and can easily hurt the other person's self-esteem. Euphemistic and implicit language is not only a magic weapon to persuade others, but it can also adapt to people's psychological self-esteem and easily generate approval. In other words, euphemistic and implicit language is a sign of maturity and stability. Chinese people pay attention to the implicit beauty of winding paths. Although it has the same meaning as "all roads lead to Rome", there are obvious differences when compared. Wise people often speak euphemistically and implicitly.

3. Sometimes lies are also a kind of beauty

Lies, on the surface, are "untrue words". From ancient times to the present, lies have been disgusted by people and have been spurned and despised by people. Therefore, in life, whenever we mention lies, people will naturally equate them with villains, liars, or in short, people with bad behavior. I believe that when we were young, we all learned that "lying children" left a deep imprint on our young minds. Everyone wants to be an honest person; everyone wants to stay away from lies. There is no doubt that this is what it should be. However, in a sense, there are also problems that cannot be solved in the honest family, and lies can be perfectly solved at this time. In today's society that strongly advocates honesty, sometimes lies are an indispensable part and play an irreplaceable role.

4. Speaking bluntly can easily hurt others, so why not make a detour?

In dealing with others, speaking bluntly is a double-sided sharp blade that can hurt others and yourself. People who like to speak outright usually have a righteous character, and their words are very explosive and destructive, so sometimes such people are used as guns blazing by others. When talking to others, refrain from directly criticizing others for their inappropriate behavior or correcting other people's character weaknesses. Countless facts prove that this is not a matter of deep love, but a struggle with him. Everyone has an inner fortress in which they hide themselves. Your outspoken words just break down his fortress and pull him out. Therefore, if you can't talk about it, don't talk about it. If you want to talk about it, just turn around and stop. In addition, in life, we often hear that "the right thing is wrong for the person". The so-called "appropriate to the situation but not to the person" is just talk. Things are planned and done by people, so criticizing things is equivalent to criticizing people.

If you suppress yourself and dare not talk to others because you are worried about saying the wrong thing anytime and anywhere, you will not be able to enjoy the conversation.

This will not only hinder the expansion of your interpersonal relationships, but also easily cause misunderstandings between you and your friends. Please don’t regard speaking as a burden, throw away the baggage of shyness and fear, and boldly express the joys, sorrows and joys in your heart. ;