The post-80s generation was once called the "beat generation", also known as the flowers in the greenhouse, and was considered to be vulnerable to wind and rain. When they grow up, people born after 80 are very surprised. Their Excellence is not inferior to any generation, even better than that of the post-60s and post-70s. I have come to an amazing conclusion from the collective family education experiment of the post-80s generation: the flowers in the greenhouse can still thrive and boldly give children a happy childhood, which will not affect their growth. 1. Competition in Summer Camp Our generation may be deeply impressed by Sun Yunxiao's reportage Competition in Summer Camp published in 1992. This article compares the performance of Chinese and Japanese teenagers in summer camps, which caused great shock and spread widely at that time, and had a far-reaching impact on many people's parenting concepts. Therefore, many parents pay attention to cultivating their children's self-care ability as early as possible, and feel that they should not spoil their children. They should let them suffer more, be afraid of doting on their children, and worry that their children will become a "beat generation". From a certain point of view, this article has a lot of positive significance and has played a warning role in some aspects. However, the way of education lies in moderation and moderation. It's not good to spoil and be too sissy, but it's overkill to spoil completely, not to allow children to be sissy, or to find ways to make children suffer. After all, the length of the article is limited, and it is impossible to discuss it comprehensively and moderately (Mr. Sun is also particular about scale in this article, for example, he opposes excessive care). But because it is not comprehensive, many parents and teachers will overdo it and do the opposite if they don't interpret it properly. This article tells the story of 1992 summer camp for Chinese and Japanese teenagers. Those children aged from 1 1 to 16 were born in the late 1970s and early 1980s, and they just grew up in the so-called little emperor and princess era. Whether these children can do it in the future is full of doubts and worries. Second, why is this article widely criticized? In this article, Mr. Sun said: Anyone who cares about China's future destiny is worth thinking about. What does this realistic contradiction mean? Education is the key to global competition. If China's children are not competitive in the world, can China not lag behind? Through the description of this article, people will have an impression that children in China are too poor to be as good as Japanese children everywhere. Some people even say that the post-80s generation is a beat generation. This is also an important reason why this article has been criticized. There is a post: after watching the summer camp competition, there is a hot article: time is the only criterion to test SB, so there are many objections. A post-80s generation is very representative: it is said that this article cheated many girls in those years, and I am one of them ... Another one: this article made the post-80s generation take the blame for a whole childhood; It's not just blame, it's psychological pressure. I just learned something when I was at school. After reading this article, I felt extremely inferior and painful. I cried, which destroyed my confidence and hope in my country and nation when I was young. There is also: I remember that the primary school class teacher read the full text in class, which made me very angry. I wonder why children in China are so disappointing. Besides, we were born in 1980s, and we were dragged on by this lie for 20 years. Both the beat generation and the hopeless generation refer to us ... why there are so many sharp comments, partly because this article is untrue. For example, the child's load is not 20 kg but 10 kg; It's 19 kilometers instead of walking 50 kilometers every day. This makes people question the authenticity of this reportage. And only emphasize the strengths of Japanese children and the weaknesses of China children. Japanese children look almost perfect, while China children are almost useless, which should not be objective. And obviously wearing colored glasses to observe. Even boys help girls carry their schoolbags: "Boys have no energy to carry their schoolbags by themselves. Carrying a backpack for a girl is not only refreshing, but also doing everything possible to make her happy. " Some people study: In fact, children in China show the virtue of mutual love (encouraging each other to sing on the way, helping each other to distribute food during meals), helping each other (boys helping girls with their luggage on their own initiative) and sticking to the end. (Note: This statement has no exact source. Japanese children, on the other hand, are extremely selfish. They are indifferent to each other, never help each other, and compete for food while eating regardless of others. (Note: This statement still has no exact source. This kind of exaggeration and rendering can really catch people's eyes, but it will mislead people. China children did have some phenomena at that time, such as poor self-care ability, not suffering much, and looking delicate. Teacher Sun inferred from this: China's children are not competitive in the world, can China not fall behind? 3. Are the flowers grown in the greenhouse competitive? We say that practice is the only criterion for testing truth. No matter how eloquent it is, let the facts speak for themselves! After 80, now about 30 years old. I have worked in many research institutes. I have observed that the post-80s generation is better in intelligence and comprehensive quality than the post-70s and post-60s generation (after all, the education I received since childhood is much better). From the emotional intelligence point of view, I am also strong and confident, self-reliant, studious and enterprising, able to bear hardships and stand hard work, and some work overtime until three or four in the morning. Nowadays, public opinion rarely sees criticism of the post-80s generation. They are definitely not a beat generation, but a generation full of hope and competitiveness. Just look at their performance in the flood fighting in 1998. The post-80s are all hard-working, capable and strong fighters. Nowadays, many people have demonstrated their talents and become the backbone of society. Now no one thinks that they are not competitive. At that time, the worry of the Beat Generation was just a false alarm. After 80, I did the largest family education experiment in history. The experimental results reveal an amazing secret to us: it doesn't matter if children are delicate when they are young, it doesn't matter if they take care of themselves, and it doesn't matter if they eat too much. As long as you don't care too much, children will still be very competitive when they grow up. The flowers that grow in the greenhouse are still strong! Another fact can be observed: Europeans have emphasized self-care and self-reliance since childhood, but their children are not as diligent as China when they grow up; They hardly work overtime, which is common in China. It seems that China's delicate children are more diligent when they grow up! Of course, China people's diligence is determined by various factors, such as culture, survival pressure and so on, not because they had temperament when they were young. But it also shows that there seems to be no necessary connection between the femininity of children when they are young and their inability to bear hardships and stand hard work when they grow up! A warm family environment may satisfy and nourish children's minds and get full love, which is good for children's mental health. On the contrary, children who have been beaten and criticized at home since childhood deliberately create dissatisfaction and deliberately do not give their children warmth. Although they may have experienced setbacks, they may also lead to mental health. Of course, when I say satisfaction, I don't mean complete satisfaction, but appropriate satisfaction and moderation. At the same time, if children are properly trained to take care of themselves and let them suffer, children will also feel the love and care of their parents. Fourth, the collective subconscious of parents. I found from the consultation that many parents have a collective subconscious at present: they are afraid of spoiling their children, are afraid of spoiling them, are eager to cultivate their self-care ability, and deliberately create setbacks to make them suffer. As a result, they brought a lot of unnecessary pain to their children and ruined their happy childhood. From my own experience, I love my daughter more (moderately, of course), and I didn't make her suffer much, so I'm not worried about cultivating self-care ability. But children seem to be born with hardships, willing to stand on their own feet, and do not need to be deliberately honed. Her thin body is bored with a heavy schoolbag every day, never complaining, and she doesn't promise to take less things; I need to sit up straight, listen carefully and do so much homework every day that I can hardly hear her complain. It's also fun to climb mountains together. We felt tired, but she didn't take it seriously and led the way happily. Although I don't do much housework, I sometimes take the initiative to do it and can't pull it. The teacher asked to do PPT courseware, and she likes to do it until midnight. I really admire her ... maybe as long as the child likes to do something, suffering is nothing to her. My wish to pamper my children properly is simple. After children go to school, they have a lot of hardships, a lot of tiredness and many opportunities to suffer. What's the hurry? Why not give children more warmth and happiness at home? And it turns out that the flowers planted in the greenhouse are still very powerful. When you grow up, you may be unhappy because of the pressure of survival, so live in the present and let your children be happy now. Contrary to what most people think, I think children are born hard-working. Even if they don't practice deliberately, as long as they are motivated, motivated and interested, suffering is a kind of enjoyment for them. For example, those who play games all night, in my opinion, work hard, but in fact they don't need to cultivate their ability to work hard from an early age, as long as they are interested and motivated. People who play football for three or four hours in a row seem to need hardship, but in fact they enjoy it and don't need training. As for self-reliance, it is a child's nature. You can't make him stand on his own two feet in adolescence. Even if you don't suffer hardships at home, there are many opportunities to suffer hardships in the future: from primary school to high school, you can't relax your study, especially in middle school, and you have the opportunity to exercise and hone every day; Nowadays, children can exercise hard with interest in sports. Some people like to criticize: China's parents only study their children every day, instead of cultivating their quality. However, by studying like this every day, children learn to endure hardship, persist, use their brains and compete. Japanese children suffer hardships in summer camp for only a few days, while our children in China suffer hardships and hone every day. If parents are not very open-minded and rational, the pressure of going to school is enough to torture children. The way of education lies in moderation. I think we can gradually take care of our children's self-care ability and let them suffer properly. I just suggest moderation, let nature take its course, and don't worry. Many parents can't wait for their children to take care of themselves completely when they are four or five years old. In my opinion, it is completely unnecessary. Personally, I think these things can make children happy and follow the trend at the same time. This paper puts forward a brand-new viewpoint. If you feel shocked, you can leave a comment! Reader's comment: 1, alas, I have already figured this out, and now I won't wrestle with children. 2, this article let me put down a great psychological burden, thank you 3, agree with the teacher's point of view, whether it is bitter or blessing, moderate is good. 4. Hehe, I was born after 1980 who didn't work or eat hard when I was a child. I'm not afraid of your jokes. /kloc-I didn't learn to wash my own clothes until I went to college at the age of 0/8. I didn't know how to wash a T-shirt on the first day, and finally ruined my beautiful clothes with a brush. There are many such things, but now that I'm working and I'm a mother, my unique performance and boldness of vision surprised the whole family. Thirty years ago, they never thought of it. 5. What the teacher said is very moderate and practical. I am also a post-80s generation, and I am a big pet at home. But I can bear hardships. After my junior year, I earn my own living expenses. After graduation, I traveled all over the country with my backpack. I totally agree with the teacher's pertinent evaluation of us, without social feelings. I remember when I first joined the group of good mothers, several mothers born after 70 said that I was born after 80 and didn't have the same language with them. After chatting for two days, they fully agreed with me and said that I was a model of post-80 s mothers. This hat is a little high, but I know I'm not. I am the representative of the post-80 s mother, not that the post-80 s mother is irresponsible. At the same time, just like many post-80s people who say post-90s people are "brain-dead", I think they are all prejudices. 6. I agree with the teacher very much. There is no need to deliberately make children suffer. People will encounter many setbacks in their lives. In these setbacks, they will learn to be strong and learn to grow. It is much better to let nature take its course and become stronger gradually than to encourage them. For children, they need a heart to wait slowly! 7. The father of the child is discussing with me the problem of his six-year-old son's poor self-care ability these days, saying that other children are always better than other children, but I am willing to let nature take its course and wait slowly, so I don't want to force the child, so I have a disagreement with my husband. I always pay attention to the cultivation of children's self-confidence and happy personality, and other requirements let nature take its course. Teacher's concept 8. I have also been influenced by the summer camp competition, and the requirements for my son's independence are a bit excessive! Agreed, Mr Winnie! Thank you for sharing the results of your independent thinking!
9. I quite agree with the argument of this article, which won my heart. Originally, I was still a little entangled, worried about spoiling bad children in the name of tolerance. Now that I have your article as the basis, I feel much more confident. Thank you very much for your explanation. I hope to learn more knowledge. 10, I'm a post-70s mother, and I agree with this article. I casually "get used to" my daughter born after 90, but my daughter is still a sunny, cheerful, kind and caring child. The power of words and deeds and the natural way of growth may be better! 1 1. I basically agree with Mr. Winnie. As a generation in the late 1970s and early 1980s, I want to talk about my personal feelings: when I was a child, I was spoiled by my parents for eating and drinking at home. If my parents can do it for me, they must not interfere. Basically, it can be said that it is a flower in a greenhouse. When I was in college, I was also a day student, and I basically didn't live a pure group life. I didn't see any gap at first, but when I got to work, the problem came; Those children who have been self-reliant since childhood think that this is not a problem, but it has become a big problem here. The exercise of life has made them familiar with some things in their work and life, but I don't know much about it without any life training. I am ashamed to say that some people 18 years old understand things, but I didn't understand them until I was 30 years old. I think I still have less personal experience. Therefore, my attitude towards children's education is: don't deliberately create difficulties, let go when it is time to let go, and it is best not to intervene in things that can let children get in touch with themselves as soon as possible. Winnie the Pooh: This mother's comments are a good supplement. It's too much for parents to keep their children out if they want to do it themselves. If you spoil and care too much, it will definitely be bad for your child if you don't let your child experience the wind and rain at all. Because most children live on campus after high school, this mother has no problem. The golden mean is naturally the best. 12, there is no need to deliberately make children suffer. Of course, it is not too much doting. Just let nature take its course. Just like a small sapling, if you give it enough space, sunshine, water and other factors necessary for growth, it will naturally take root deeply and grow into a big tree to resist strong winds and heavy rains. So are children. Only when the mind absorbs enough nutrition will it have a strong heart to face all kinds of problems when it grows up.