Tell 30 jokes that hurt your stomach.

Funnily enough, everyone has seen it. Some sentences are ordinary, others are funny, which can make you laugh. The following is a funny story that I brought to break your stomach. I hope you like it.

Tell an interesting story that makes your stomach ache (classic)

1. Love is like a joke, it kills others and hurts itself.

2. I can tell many stories, from suitable for all ages to unsuitable for children!

3. Is the departure of stool a failure of buttocks or the pursuit of toilet? 、

Fortunately, I am a fat man, and I can pinch my stomach when I am bored.

5. I used a sack of money to go to college in exchange for a sack of books; After graduation, I exchanged these books for money, but I couldn't afford a sack!

6. He said? Girl, I think you have good facial features and good health. I don't know if you can be buried in my ancestral grave to ward off evil spirits in a hundred years! ?

7. Nine dollars to get married. Twelve yuan for divorce. Only fools divorce. So expensive,

8. Just now, someone said he liked me, so I deleted him. God, he said that he liked me in September. He must be trying to trick me into going to his hometown to break corn and cut beans.

9. People who can't find time to fall in love will find time for blind date sooner or later.

10. Many things are supported by eating, such as losing weight.

1 1. Learning by heart is silent, and I am sleepy and tired. When reviewing before the exam, rest is the most difficult. How can I beat him and pile up the papers? It's sad to fail the exam, but this is the original question of the test paper. The bed is full of books, all of which have been turned over. Who wants to read them now? Watch the table, how to attack the problem alone? Mathematics is more physical. At dusk, I feel sad and anxious. This time, what a sad sentence.

12. Thank you for stealing my partner and letting me know that he is human.

13. A girl once said that she could wait for me in her next life. When I told her that I liked her, she turned to me and said, Do you want to chase me? Wait for the next life! ?

14. Forgive me for dressing up, holding a fountain pen, frowning and writing hard, just to get to the bottom of Xueba.

15. I have an empty heart, but God gave me the body of a big aunt.

Laugh and break your belly (selected)

1. You look down on a good girl like me, young man. Do you like men?

Once there was a girl who said that she could change herself for me. That day, I got up the courage to express my secret love for a long time. She said to me: What do you like about me? Can't I change it? ! ?

3. Those who can't unscrew the bottle cap are all married, and those who can are still screwing themselves.

4. Tell me about a time when I was in college. There is a guy in the dormitory who plays Warcraft on the computer all day. He washes clothes almost once a week. Every time, he put a lot in a basin and soaked it in washing powder. Ten minutes later, he washed them with water Does he need to brush or wipe them? Without looking at me, the animal replied, I used a secret automatic pistol. Secret automatic pistol? Fully automatic?

The so-called sleeping goods can be summarized in eight words: sleepy in spring, sleepy in summer and sleepy in autumn.

6. People who haggle over every ounce are suitable for buying food, not for falling in love.

7. If loneliness can lead to drinking, then love is a hangover.

8. I once turned my space upside down.

9. The one riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, but also a Tang priest.

10. Be happy when you are alive, because we will die for a long time.

1 1.？ What behaviors in your boyfriend's heterosexual friends make you unbearable to live! ?

12. When you are old and can't walk, I will push you to the square in a wheelchair every day and let you watch me dance with other old people.

13.？ Why didn't anyone tell you? Because I have been secretly loved by others.

14. I support what you support, and I oppose what you oppose, but I want to secularize your myth and secularize your magic!

15. What I want is the kind of xx that I can't get rid of and likes to stick to me.

16. You look so good. What's the use of eggs besides being my wife?

17. What you can't get is always the best, and what you love around you is the most *

18. We must drive the non-mainstream out of China.

19. Why don't I have an object that is explosive, but my object does.

20. I studied sacred knowledge, and you actually measured it with scores, which is simply an academic stain! Vulgar!

Tell a funny thing that hurts the stomach (recommended)

1. If a man doesn't ask you to wear a wedding dress, put on a cassock for him.

After years of breaking up, they met unexpectedly in a city. Man:? How are you, woman? Okay？ . Man:? How is he? Woman:? Okay？ . The woman asked,? How are you? The man replied. Okay？ . Woman:? How is she? Man:? She just told me she's fine? .

3. Say you like it with photos and lie down! You think you are in Taobao?

I want to go to the movies with my boyfriend recently. Please recommend a good boyfriend.

Since yesterday, the three major operators began to filter sensitive words in mobile phone short messages, monitor short messages involving five categories of content, such as pornography, violence and reaction, and punish their users. It is reported that the user's SMS function will generally be closed for 24 hours, and will automatically resume after 24 hours; If the circumstances are very serious, users must carry valid certificates and sign a letter of commitment in the mobile business hall to ensure that the above contents will not be reopened in the future.

6. Son's teacher: Behind every successful man, there is a woman. What did you learn from this sentence? Son: Don't waste any more time studying. Finding a woman is a serious matter!

7. High school climbed over the fence and didn't return all night. Every day, there are many net bugs in the school. There is only one exit from the fence, and they queue up to jump out every night. I have jumped out of 10. I just jumped down and a flashlight shone on my face. The school leader whispered: hold the wall and don't make any noise. I saw that there were already 20 people in the corner, and people kept jumping down. The next one laughs with a stomachache. . . .

8. Say good night, I hope you miss me so much that you can't sleep at night.

9. Yesterday, Chris Lee held a press conference in Changsha, Hunan Province, and responded positively to the widely circulated online for the first time. Brother Xin Chun, can you live forever? And other popular words. Chris Lee said? Believe it or not, you will all die. ? Many reporters present shed tears of emotion!

10. One for my teacher. I'm really worried about the students' grades in this exam. In class, I asked: Are you doing this to annoy me? Several students quickly replied: it's not a rhythm, it's a prelude.

1 1. When quarreling with your boyfriend, don't blame him in a hurry, but reflect on yourself first. If you are really wrong, think about how to pass it on to him.

12. How lovely the world would be if my test scores could rise as fast as the house price.

13. On the day of graduation from college, my roommate, who has been single, unexpectedly brought his girlfriend to watch graduation photo. And very, very beautiful! Everyone cast an envious look at him. I asked:? What is the secret? Teach me! ? He replied:? 300? .

14. If someone suddenly chats with you every day, cares about you and teases you, he must want to steal your expression pack.

15. You said you liked me! Actually, at first, I actually, uh, told you that I actually liked myself.

16. If it is stipulated that a person can only be kind to one person in his life, I would rather that person be you. Till death do us part, I have no regrets! But there are no rules? Then forget it!

17. I have two dreams in my life: one is to dream all the time, and the other is not to wake up.

18. When I get married, we will tattoo a pair of rings, and whoever files for divorce first will chop off his fingers.

19. When you ignore me, I feel that you are studying hard and preparing to support me in the future.

20. When I like you, I think you are cute. When I don't like you, I think you are eating shit.

2 1. A man chased a girl for many years and the girl sent him a message in English. He asked a friend to translate. Either you leave me or I will die with you. "The man was heartbroken and never contacted her again. Later, the man passed CET-6 before he knew what that sentence was. If you don't leave, I will live and die together! ?

22. What is the most beautiful thing? I love you? But? You lost weight? .

23. Do you still love me when I am old? Will you still marry me when all my teeth fall out?

24. I don't need everyone to nod. I live to make people who hate me more and more unhappy.

25. Never know from others the person you love, whether you feel good or not, and whether you love yourself or not.

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