That's weird. Tell me.

1. Zhuge Liang never led a soldier before he came out of the mountain. Why should I have work experience?

2. Later, Xiao Ming never appeared in the textbook of high school, so I knew that a fool couldn't get into high school.

I swear I'll chop my hands when I surf the Internet again, but later I found out that I'm Guanyin with a thousand hands.

There are many liars now, so be careful when you go out. Today, a man in the street said it was going to be hot. I followed him for three blocks and he didn't die.

Please be sure to give me back the heavy rain you missed in those years during military training.

6. Do you know why you are so unhappy every day? Because your boyfriend is not me!

7. Staying up late is not good for your health. I suggest you stay up all night.

8. When I have money, I will buy a bus, take the bus lane and stop at the bus stop. When someone wants to get on the bus, I will say, sorry, this is a private car.

9. In this weather, go out for 5 minutes and sweat for 2 hours.

10. My father expressed his views on my obesity: Han Hong didn't die, but Han Hong was ill.

1 1. Good night means you should stop pushing me.

12. The furthest distance in the world is not the distance between life and death, but when your future mother-in-law stands in front of you, you can only call aunt.

13. Are you short of light bulbs on Tanabata? The kind that only eats and doesn't talk.

14. I hope that one day, we can become strangers again, get to know each other again and see how I kill you.

15. The world belongs to us and our children, but ultimately to our grandchildren!

16. My hobbies can be divided into static and dynamic. Static is sleeping, dynamic is turning over.

17. What does it feel like to be possessive? I can only smell her fart.

18. Pretend to be a city resident. Now the earth is called a village.

19. You should eat enough, go to bed early, and don't stay up because you are ugly.

20. I kissed your face, full of cream, bb cream and sunscreen. I think I ate a lot of money in one gulp.

2 1. Confucius said: sleepless at noon, collapse at noon. Mencius said: Confucius is right!

As a typical loser, you are really successful.

23. Don't say that others are mentally ill. The premise of having a brain is having a brain.

24. When you are sleepy from homework and want to sleep, tell yourself: That's your memorial, that's your country and that's your people. Then I suddenly realized that I want to be a generation of wise kings.

Talk more about QQ space spoof

Talk about spoofing QQ: 500 times in previous lives, but I got a rogue in this life.

Funny comments on other people's talk, qq space talk comments spoof QQ space healing department talk: you are free, give me back my happiness!

1, no matter how strong the wine is, you can't fuck the person you like.

2, don't mind loneliness, more comfortable than loving you.

It's still a little sad to think about it. Some people are familiar with it and return to zero.

What makes me feel lonely is not only feelings, but also the accumulated negative energy, which drowns me a little bit, like dust in the corner.

5. No matter how painful it is, you will laugh and say that it doesn't hurt, because no one is distressed and you are used to hiding, so you always laugh heartlessly. After a long time, laughter became a habit, and pain became a habit.

6. Depressed people are underwater, normal people are on the water, and I am ups and downs in the middle. I can't get up or down.

7. Be good, be quiet, be obedient and be good without him.

8. Loneliness is hearing a familiar name and accidentally remembering some stories.

9. The world is too noisy and full of lies. Can you find another reason to wait for me when I get home?

10, the process of being disheartened is the most difficult. The birth of various conjectures and the faint expectation in my heart have been modifying my bottom line until the tea is cold and cold, and I have to choose to say goodbye after disappointment.

1 1. Sometimes when you are disappointed to a certain extent, a flower will bloom instead. The name of that flower is, it doesn't matter.

12, the person I can't let go for a long time, at this moment, let go. The love that I have loved for so long is gone.

13, you are free, give me happiness.

14, for a moment, I suddenly felt that all my waiting was meaningless in your eyes, because I couldn't get any treasure from you, not because I didn't know how to persist, but because I hadn't heard from you for a long time, so I decided to go this time.

15, I dreamed yesterday that she wiped my tears and said that she was ashamed of not loving me well.

Qq space talks about spoof reply.

1. In order to consolidate our friendship, narrow the gap between the east and the west, curb the disparity between the rich and the poor, put an end to social division, stabilize social order, and promote Socialism with Chinese characteristics's modernization, lend me 200 yuan!

2. Nowadays, women have lost their hair in their teens, so they are broken. By the age of 20, they don't know how many men they have fucked or how many husbands they have called, and they keep saying that they are virgins. For this kind of woman, I just want to say: please contact me!

3. Everything is finished, and the child is finished. I arranged for her to stay in the hotel. As a brother, I did everything. She is in a bad mood now, so she has time to see her. After all, she is your woman. You don't answer the phone, you don't reply to text messages, so I can only leave a message here. You should take care.

4.xx, I have asked about the last time you asked me to help you. Failure to erect may be caused by excessive masturbation. Excessive masturbation can easily lead to inflammation of prostate, which in turn leads to infertility, and even impotence and premature ejaculation in severe cases. You didn't reply to my private letter before, so I replied directly.

5, the first reply, so nervous! Are there any hidden rules? Do you need to take it off? What should I say? How many words does it take to show literary talent? Is it too far for me to write so well? It's so profound that others can't understand it? So excited! How can I pretend to reply frequently? So nervous!

6.fuck! (Although this comment is only 1, its grammar is rigorous, its words are neat, its structure is ingenious and catchy. It can be said that it is concise, which shows that the narrator's solid writing skills, clever writing style and terrible creativity are really admirable, and it is really the finishing touch and exclamation point. )

7. After reading what you said, I turned off my cell phone, smoked a cigarette seriously, went to the balcony to get a bottle of Tsingtao beer, drank two mouthfuls, went to the window and watched the drizzle outside. At this time, I couldn't control my emotions and shouted at the sky: What is this writing? You have to say something!

8. First comment. I'm so nervous. How can I put it? How many words can you type to show your literary talent? How about this? Will it be popular? Is it too far-fetched for me to write so well Will it be too deep for others to understand? How can I write an elegant and unique level? Is it too fast to write so much in half an hour? I am so excited!

9. Looking at the astronomical phenomena last night, I found that one of the stars in the Big Dipper shifted southward by two centimeters, and I knew that the donor's luck had run out. Today, I saw that the donor's yin Tang was black, his eyes were purple and he was incoherent. It seems that the donor's life will soon be over! Shi mainly wanted to climb the Himalayas and climb Mount Everest, and asked the Buddha for a bag of Banlangen clothes to save the day.

1 1, take care of yourself, cover yourself at night, and don't wake up in the morning and suddenly sit up, which will cause headaches. Don't eat cold and spicy food, it's bad for your stomach. Look around when crossing the road, eat well, don't just wear clothes, take medicine when you have a cold, and don't stay up late. Remember to turn down the brightness of your mobile phone when you sleep, or there will be radiation. Remember my concern.

12, I have finished what you arranged for me. The child has miscarried, and she has just been taken out of the hospital. Found her a hotel to stay in. As a brother, I did everything. After all, she is your woman, and you are still responsible. She is in a bad mood now. Come and see her. I can't help it I won't answer your phone or text you. Seeing that you are still in the mood to talk, I can only leave a message here. That's all, mind your own business!

13, Song Jiang, Lu Junyi, Wu Yong, Gongsun Sheng, Guan Sheng, Lin Chong, Qin Ming, Hu, Huarong Road, Chai Jin, Zhu Tong, Lu, Dong Ping, Yang Zhi, Xu Ning, Dai Zong, Liu Tang, Li Kui, Shi Jin and Mu Hong.

14, hello! I am an attending doctor in the Mental Health Research Center of the First Hospital of Shijiazhuang City, Hebei Province, focusing on research and treatment! After seeing your talk, the leaders of our hospital attached great importance to your situation and sent me to help you treat your disease. I hope you can trust the doctor and cooperate with us. Mental illness can be prevented, controlled and cured. You should build up strong confidence, and we will definitely help you get out of the shadows and live a normal life.

15. Why are condoms often stolen in small shops? Why are the underpants in nursing homes being fistula by black hands? Why do thousands of donkeys scream at midnight? Who did the serial rape of pigs? Is it a person or a ghost who knocks at the door every night? What is hidden behind the unexpected pregnancy of hundreds of mummies? Is it the distortion of human nature or moral decay behind all this? Is it a hormonal explosion or despair? Pay close attention to tonight's 25: 00 annual dedication to "the point of no return of a generation of erotic xxx". Let's follow the camera into his inner world!

16, I really envy watching you talk every day. You are good-looking, you use smart phones, you have money, you have many friends, and you talk about things that look great all day. Take anything to support my living expenses for a few months. I don't read much, and I am from the countryside. I haven't seen much of the world, so I can only watch you send it silently, praise it from time to time, and send it myself when I have time. It seems that I can pretend to know you well. Really, I'm so tired. Anyway, he urged me to give him his mobile phone back. I'm going to bed. . . Alas!

17, after reading your talk, I can't be calm for a long time! This talk is novel in conception, unique in subject matter, clear in paragraphs, bizarre in plot, ups and downs, clear in main line, fascinating and straightforward, showing extraordinary literary skills. It can be said that the writing style is extraordinary and the classic sentence is a model for our generation to learn. From the perspective of novel art, it may not be too successful, but its experimental significance is far greater than the success itself. Ma Benteng, shoot a bow, heaven and earth are in my heart! You are a new generation of mountain monsters in the nonsense world! It is you who rekindled the fire of hope in my heart. It is rare to say!

18, Erdan, I finally found you. Are you still in the mood to talk about it? ! The foreman told you to hurry back to the construction site to move bricks. If you don't go back, you won't get the salary of 30 yuan the other day. By the way, your father asked you to go back when you were free. The last case of bus molesting women has come down. Your father gave your car to the woman named hush money, and she agreed not to sue you. Your father is not easy. Go back and have a look when you are free. Also, widow Wang from the neighboring village asked me to tell you that she misses you very much and asks when you will marry her. She said that the door should not be too grand and don't pretend to be low-key. After all, getting married is not easy. I brought it for you. It's up to you

19, I'm here. Now that I'm here, I have something to say! Just a few words! If I don't say something! Sorry, since I have to say something! Then you must speak ~ so I decided that a few words might change everything! Maybe what I said won't change anything! But! Even if I say a few words, nothing will change! But I still want to say something I want to say! If I don't say what I want to say! Then, what I wanted to say came without saying it ~ ~ First of all, I'm sorry for not saying what I wanted to say! Actually, I won't say these words! What a waste of what I said above! Finally, I summed it up! ! ! I'm just saying.

20. I really don't understand you. You're still in the mood to talk about this after what happened. I have settled the girl for you, found a hotel to let her stay, and done a lot of ideological work for her, so there should be no more thoughts of suicide. As a classmate, I can only help you this step. Think about how to solve the rest for yourself. She said, she won't pester you anymore, and she won't blame you. I hope you can be happy in the future, and let me tell you that I hope you can visit her more when you are free, even for the sake of children. After all, it is to witness that you have been together. Moreover, she doesn't want her children to grow up without a father's love. Even if we can't give them a home, it's enough to spend time with her!

2 1, I have done as you said. I just released her from Dongguan No.1 Prison, and her case has been closed. I have arranged for her to stay in a hotel near your home. She was very unhappy. Go and see her. After all, she engaged in prostitution for you. I can't get through when I call you, so I have to leave a message here. After all, she is your woman. Don't go too far. As a brother, I can only help you here! I saw her the day before yesterday. She asked me about you. I said you did a good job. She told me to tell you that she doesn't hate you at all. She will take good care of the children. The children are becoming more and more like you. She told you not to be too tired at work, and your health is very important. You were in poor health before. By the way, she said. The child will call dad, which makes me cry. You bastard dare to talk about this here.

23. I am in my hometown, and there is no Internet or WIFI. In order to praise your QQ, I walked dozens of kilometers to the town, with peas on my feet and sticky shoes. Originally, I wanted to sell dozens of pounds of corn at home and take a bus to the Internet cafe in the town to praise what you said. Unfortunately, the weather is not good, and the harvest is not good this year, so I have to work in the brick kiln in the town and earn enough money. It only costs a penny to move a brick from the brick kiln to the tractor. For the fare of 100, I moved 10 thousand bricks, and ten fingers were stained with blood. In order to save the fare, I didn't stick a band-aid of Yunnan Baiyao to let my blood coagulate naturally. After getting the money to move bricks, I got on the bus from one town to another. When I came to the Internet cafe, I felt it in my pocket. There was no Internet access fee of three yuan, and I moved 300 bricks less. I have to run around the street, looking at people who drink mineral water. When they threw the mineral water bottle out of their hands, I jumped up like a goalkeeper for fear that the mineral water bottle would be taken away by others. I praised you for another second at night. Do you understand that I am eager to praise your talk?

Give me back the heart I gave you before you leave.

1 Really scared. Why can't you always protect yourself and hurt yourself?

I know no one understands, so I don't shout pain.

I should be carefree, but now I have experienced the vicissitudes of life like death, and my sadness is as frequent as breathing, and I go hand in hand with life.

I can give you a hug in the weather around 30℃

You have lived my life-leaving nothing behind, but taking my heart away.

I have two buttons, one full of sadness and the other full of happiness.

Eason Chan's "Ten Years" sang the voice of every fat paper: I want to be thin and shed tears.

What a lovely creature it would be if mosquitoes switched to fat instead of blood ~

I want to live like a lime. The more people throw cold water on it, the more my life boils.

10 Sister, the only thing I can't put down is chopsticks.

Handsome is my nature, handsome is destiny takes a hand. Soft is so confident.

Me Before You, my world is black and white. After meeting you, wow! It's all black!

13 All I want is a shoulder, a hug and a sad word. I am here. ..

Don't worry, the best things come when you least expect them to.

15 Everything has gone up in price these days, only people are getting cheaper and cheaper.

16 Love is an ornament on a cocktail glass, a take-away when little cherry growls, and a hug when she wakes up from a nightmare.

17 love begins to suffer as soon as the heart beats.

18 I think I'm still not mature enough to control my impetuous heart calmly.

19 My dream is so simple that I can only see one you. This is probably the only world I have left and the future I look forward to.

I see through everything, but I can't see through my heart. Sometimes I don't know what I'm thinking.

2 1 There are always some things that will happen whether you like it or not, and you can only accept them.

My name is God, and my nickname is Jesus. The English name of God is Tathagata!

A person will never know how good he is unless he forces himself.

In the world, everyone is cheap, but in different ways.

25 believe it or not, wechat will be completely retired.

If one day, we pass by, will you look at each other with tears and tell yourself ... this man, I once loved him and liked me? ....

I don't want to hug others, because there is no heartbeat from you.

Many times, I know something inadvertently, pretending that it doesn't matter on the surface, and covering it up with a smile. In fact, your heart hurts more than anything else.

You don't deserve to make public in the black and white world, because I want a colorful sky.

30 fragile and eternal kissed red lips will eventually become strangers.

3 1 This book is so good that I have been reluctant to read it.

The real pain is always in my heart.

You think I'm happy because you've never looked into my eyes seriously.

No matter how much you hate your present life, please stick to it for your dreams and the life you want.

It's so boring at home. When I was at school, I found that time can pass like this.

It is really sad and deserved that a tramp in love lives on sporadic greetings from others on a whim.

Sometimes I think too much just to prove that I should grow up.

I've been angry here for a long time, and no one has come to see me for a long time.

If it starts a war with honesty, it is better to whitewash peace with lies.

I've been asking about you behind your back.

4 1 I love the feeling of love very much, and I will understand it after many people and things.

Happy on the surface, but unhappy on the inside.

The past was just a dream for me. Wake up when you wake up, and fade when you fade.

Your heart was never with me.

We can see through many things, but there are still many people who choose to deceive themselves.

I want to give you a gift that you like very much, but uncle postman won't let me stay in the box.

I regret missing any minute of communication with you.

My love is like dust scattered in the frontier, and I no longer expect anyone. Is it a kind of freedom and commitment, like dust buried by time, who remembers?

When you were young in 49 years, you made a decision to devote your life to love. Later, you didn't die. Youth saved your life.

Give me back the heart I gave you before you leave.

5 1 I finally found the difference between you and an idiot. Idiots are acquired, you are born.

In the end, you will understand that the most real thing is that you are not qualified to make mistakes.

Constantly comfort yourself that happiness is paramount, but I still can't stop worrying about the future.

The sky was originally a landscape, but after meeting you, it became a mood.

If one day you think of me, when you are tired of playing and want to cry, call me. I can't promise to make you laugh, but I will stay with you.

Do you know that even if I lose my life, I won't lose you?

I never forget it, because I know it will never happen again in my life.

If there is a cycle of life, I will hope to meet you again, because I only love you.

At the traffic lights after drinking, your face is always red! Too many cars finally make the road indigestion!

You will make two kinds of mistakes in your life, one is to say something you shouldn't say, and the other is to say something you shouldn't say.

6 1 In my pupil, I still have some light in dark days.

You know, even if you don't come back once, I will think you are tired of me.

It's nonsense to say that drinking is for complete indulgence, but it's just an excuse to cry for yourself.

The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I rolled my eyes with them!

My classes are colorful and varied at best, and mental hospitals at worst.

Memory can really turn a person into a psychopath. A second ago, his mouth rose slightly, and this second, his eyes were moist.

Don't underestimate the man who is chasing you, because you may be his world every minute.

I don't want anything that doesn't belong to me, and I don't want anything that isn't really given to me.

It's not that the current university doesn't deserve you, but that you don't deserve yourself and your extravagant dreams.

Don't say forever when you are together, and don't say forever after breaking up.

7 1 Because the heart is a warm and humid place suitable for anything to grow.

Don't push me, or I will make this decoration come true.

Every time I want someone to accompany me, I find that some people can't find it, some people shouldn't, and some people can't.

Laozi is my son's passport, and my son is my epitaph.

Despair is when a person points a dagger at your heart and you say I do with a smile.