My lover said, you can give me anything except your family. Is this true love?

In the face of an unhappy marriage, will you face the problem directly or choose to escape?

Some people tend to go to extremes and choose the worst way to deal with a bad life, such as cheating.

At first, I just wanted to escape from my marriage temporarily, but I didn't expect to be trapped in it. Family members don't want to give up, and lovers don't want to give up. I was in a dilemma, but I became a "victim".

The 52-year-old Luo Jiang has fallen into such a dilemma. He only took off his skin to see the truth of "extramarital love". His "lessons of blood and tears" may bring us some thoughts.

Why don't people have an affair when they reach middle age? Very cheap.

Most middle-aged men fall in love with their lovers for strikingly similar reasons.

From passion to dullness, marriage has gone through many years, and trivial things can't be finished. I haven't felt love for a long time, but I'm tired of my partner.

Men are tired of their wives who only know how to walk around the stove all day, tired of her unkempt appearance, and tired of her illiteracy. In the end, they keep asking themselves why they want to marry such a woman.

Women are also very wronged, working so hard for their families for so many years. How can they be ungrateful? It's just that men are developed and look down on the scum's wife at home.

As a result, the noise was very loud and it drifted away.

Luo Jiang and his wife's emotional breakdown process, as mentioned above.

I can't say why I am tired of my wife, but I gradually feel that this woman and myself are not from the same world.

She is tacky, haggle over every ounce, uneducated, not as reasonable as a woman outside, and it is even more difficult to understand her inner thoughts.

Slowly, I don't want to talk to my wife anymore, and talk to women outside. The more we talk, the more I feel, as if only lovers understand themselves, so I feel that decades of marriage have been in vain.

Luo Jiang, who found a bosom friend outside, occasionally stayed out all night, leaving little money in his wife's hand, and every time his wife always made trouble.

He didn't hide it either. He told his wife that he didn't want to divorce or break up with his lover. He will be responsible for his family.

Luo Jiang thinks this thing is too simple. He wants a stable family and touching love, but even if his wife agrees, his bosom friend doesn't agree.

From "I don't want anything, as long as you love me and can be with you" to "When will you divorce your wife and marry me?" , only half a year.

Luo Jiang asked his bosom friend, since you don't want anything from me, you want to be with me and I will give you love.

When a woman was determined, Luo Jiang suddenly got bored one day and asked her if she wanted to be the boss's wife.

Women repeatedly denied that they were depressed and said they didn't want to share their lover with other women.

Luo Jiang, who is full of business, cannot be coaxed out of this extramarital affair.

He just wants to find a gentle and virtuous woman different from his wife. Now this woman is more and more like her, and there is not much nostalgia for her.

This "smart" man made up his mind to finally test the sincerity of his lover.

When together, Luojiang spends less money on his wife and children, and most of the money is used to make his lover happy.

Now that I have lost everyone, give money to my wife and love to my lover to see if she will force her to divorce.

Sure enough, without Luo Jiang's "support", the woman began to lose her temper first. I asked Luo Jiang if he didn't love himself, and then I always argued that he couldn't do this to her even if he didn't want his money. Later, I simply said that men who don't spend money on women are not worth loving.

Luo Jiang suddenly remembered the days when a family of three once went to the amusement park. Since then, he has returned to his family.

Recalling this fruitless relationship, 52-year-old Luo Jiang sighed:

Because of this, my son ignored me for several years, and my wife was very cold to me. In order to save their hearts, I took off my skin.

They are all lessons of blood and tears. When people reach middle age, they really stop having extramarital affairs. Very cheap.

However, I finally saw the truth of the matter, gave the money to my wife, gave my love to my lover, and stopped the car in time.

Problems in marriage are never anyone's fault.

Those who fall into extramarital affairs, both men and women, make excuses for their "infidelity" and keep shouting that we are true love. I didn't know the taste of love until we met, which I didn't realize in marriage.

I have received many confidences from men and women involved in extramarital affairs. Most of them feel that there is no love between themselves and their partners. The reason why I seek help painfully is because I still have responsibilities inside, and I don't want to hurt my family or give up my lover outside, so I am depressed and don't know what to do.

Their betrayal and pain are real, but their feelings are not necessarily real.

There is no love between you and your partner. If you don't get divorced, go outside to find warmth. You must have found true love?

Whose life is not dull? Whose marriage has no cracks? Who can have perfect feelings and life?

Life has been long for decades, and we feel lost and want to escape. These emotions are normal. The key is how to face these negative emotions.

Is it temporary escape or permanent escape? Is it okay to change people if you are unhappy, or do you want to find ways to adjust the marriage model and find the crux of the problem?

Most people are used to blaming their misfortunes on their partners, their bad temper, bad personality and ignorance of themselves, which makes life more and more suffocating.

I even often fantasize that my life wouldn't be like this if I hadn't married this person around me.

This idea is all wet.

Because ta ignores the complexity of marriage and even ignores that marriage belongs to two people. Even if something goes wrong, it is the responsibility of two people, not one person's fault.

Just like Luojiang in the story, he developed from scratch, and he was dissatisfied with his marriage because he had two money around him, and he was psychologically inflated and balanced.

A woman is untidy and walks around the stove all day. Is she willing?

If she doesn't do it, who will do it? She did all this just for her husband to work hard outside. How could she be wrong?

Blame your wife for not understanding you. Have you ever known her?

It is really silly to fantasize about finding true love outside marriage to fill the vacancy in marriage.

Meeting true love outside marriage is just your illusion.

No one will not regret cheating. Even those who make a positive result with their lover will sigh in their hearts in a few years, and it is the same with whom they marry.

Just like Chen in the first half of his life, he thinks that Luo Zijun only knows shopping and having fun all day, and relies on himself like a parasite. Without independent thoughts, he can't understand himself, let alone communicate effectively.

I met a Lingling and suddenly met a bosom friend, thinking that love was alive again.

But after divorcing Luo Zijun and marrying Lingling? I still can't avoid getting married, so I regret why I divorced and even had the idea of remarriage.

Why do you feel that extramarital affairs are like finding true love?

That's because extramarital affairs only gave him the "feeling" of love and didn't let him bear the "responsibility" of marriage.

A good feeling certainly makes people feel happy and willing to pursue it.

The factors of love are romance, simplicity and sweetness, but there is no pressure and no taste.

What about marriage?

Marriage requires responsibility, and pressure and motivation coexist.

The pressure of mortgage and car loan, the pressure of raising children, the pressure of supporting the elderly, the pressure of maintaining the relationship between husband and wife and so on. Can't call it pleasure.

Once you marry the true love outside marriage, you will find that you are just repeating the old days, but your partner has changed.

Why does Luo Jiang in the story get tired of his lover? Why did Chen regret marrying Lingling? That's the reason.

You think you've met true love, but it's just your illusion.

Feelings outside marriage cannot make you happy. If there is a problem, it will be replaced. Not only will it not solve the problem, but it will also plunge you into a deeper quagmire.

If there is a problem in marriage, what you need to do is not to avoid marriage and find peace, but to face the problem directly, calmly analyze the causes of the problem, communicate with your partner more and find a solution to the problem.

No one's marriage is smooth sailing. Those couples who live happily are not because they love the right person, but because they know how to get along in marriage and cherish the present.

I hope you are the same, learn to love others, learn to face contradictions, manage your marriage well, and you will win.

Today's topic:

Marriage is not good, is it useful to change people?

Huaying world: focus on interpreting marital emotional problems and give you comfort and warmth in the noisy world.