The 51-year-old mother said to her 27-year-old son, I reject you now, but I will protect you in the future.

01

I read a book called "Better Go", which tells the story of a single mother who raised her son to be a top student at Yale.

In fact, in the book, the mother only plays the role of guiding her son to develop good habits from an early age and develop his personality in an all-round way. In fact, the establishment of learning goals is completed by his son alone. of.

At a young age, he has the desire to achieve his goals within a few years, which is really worthy of compliments. Perseverance, perseverance and determination alone are enough to defeat many adults.

Later, I thought about it and finally understood that the way his mother had raised him since he was a child gradually passed on to him, so later on, he grew into a very independent middle school student. And started a journey of making a bet before graduating from high school and rushing to Yale University.

Throughout the entire learning process, his mother cooperated with him.

My mother said that she never trained him to do anything in a fixed way, and allowed him to develop freely within the scope of his ability.

However, this free development can finally achieve fruitful results because of the good foundation provided by my mother.

She used an idiom called: Governance by doing nothing.

Therefore, parents play a decisive role in the education and growth of their children.

After all, the family is the first small society a child experiences.

By the time a child has his own thoughts and ideas, he already knows how to accept this society.

02

I saw another mother in a different state when talking about her son.

The following is her statement:

Just after dinner, before he could clear away the dishes, his son wiped his mouth and said: "Mom, housing prices in the city center have risen again. It has become a violent situation in a short period of time. If we don't take action, I'm afraid it will be beyond our reach in the future, and you and your daughter-in-law will have no room to sleep."

I glanced at him and moved my lips, but didn't say anything. Say a word.

Not speaking is tantamount to rejection, or it means that you cannot agree with your son.

He understands this.

He also became silent, and the water glass in his hand kept spinning, and it sped up, very fast, like his anxious heart.

I know he is expecting me to say: "I know, mom will buy it for you."

This sentence has never been stored in my heart.

The son finally pushed the water glass aside, stood up and left.

I hurried to the window, looked at his retreating back, and couldn't help but sigh deeply.

This child, I have used to be a little willful, a little stubborn, and a little stubborn since he was a child.

He is used to relying on my arms and is no longer willing to leave easily.

The word independence never rests on him.

I admit that I brought him up like this.

Ever since he was young, he has been accustomed to looking for me no matter how big or small it is.

When it’s time to wash the clothes, I take them off, and sometimes without even saying hello, I throw them on the sofa, of course, where I can see them.

Every time he goes on a long trip, he tells me in advance that reporting the incident is one and helping him pack his luggage is the second.

When I first started dating my girlfriend, opening and closing my mouth, whether my girlfriend liked to eat this or that, became delegated tasks.

Of course, it was not like this at the beginning. When my son was just becoming sensible, I would politely say thank you to him when I cooked him meals, washed his clothes, and gave him food and clothing.

However, in the days that followed, things changed without even realizing it.

When he became unhappy, I became his nanny and had to do everything around him.

He also uses polite words when sorting toys. When putting on his school uniform, he occasionally envied his classmates who wore leather shoes and expressed his desire to buy them.

When he first fell in love, he told the girl he liked that my mother knew many people and was easy to handle. If you are being bullied or if you need my help, just ask.

When he walked into the university campus, he would always be silent for a while when he was on the phone. This silence was a sign of dissatisfaction. The school conditions cannot be compared with those at home, and the food may not be as good as what my mother cooks, but this is a matter of habit, not a bad cafeteria.

However, he was not satisfied.

After working and being close to home, I would come home from time to time and let me cook.

He also said that he wanted to make up for his regrets in college. It's unfair not to have food cooked by my mother for four years, isn't it?

03

Every time my son makes a request, he always makes excuses.

After all, it was all for his comfort.

Once upon a time, I was used to taking care of him, which is the meticulous love that every mother has for her children. As time went by, he got used to me taking care of him. The older he got, the lazier he became, thinking that all my efforts were justified.

However, adulthood is eighteen years old, and you are almost ten years old, kid.

Although, you will always be my child.

However, at each stage of life, people will undergo different changes. This change is a process that everyone must go through.

This is a stage that everyone must go through.

There should be different changes.

When you become an adult, you should be independent; when you enter society, you should assume responsibilities and obligations.

You are one of every person going through this process.

When I am about to enter my thirties, I really want to hear: "Mom, you don’t have to worry about anything, I am here."

I am not used to complaining, because, I Everything you do for your children is done willingly, without any second thoughts. However, no one’s contribution can be endless.

Just like a child being weaned.

If you are less than one year old, you must be weaned physically; if you are less than twenty years old, you must be weaned mentally.

However, without knowing it, we pampered you for several more years.

This was our mistake.

No matter whether it is too late or not, my child, I am not willing to continue.

I should have watched you live independently.

No matter what mistakes you make, it is all my fault.

If you had known this, why did you do it in the first place?

I sat there and thought for a long time.

I am willing to protect him when he is young and take care of him every day as he grows up.

This is also the responsibility of every parent.

My husband and I specially applied for a card for him, for fear that he would be involved and suffer outside. In order to do the necessary needs in the years to come.

He is already 27 years old. I can understand his desire to have a family, but I will no longer condone his dependence.

My son has a stable job, which is what makes me most gratified. He also talked about a girlfriend, but these no longer constitute the reasons for him to still be dependent, but should be more independent.

If you cannot settle down and establish a career, how will you train the next generation?

When he reaches out to me and gets used to it, one day I won’t be able to take it out, and I can’t hold it anymore. At that time, how should I face him?

Think about your mistakes and feel scared.

Luckily sober.

Perhaps, my son will blame me for being unfeeling for a while, but in the future he will understand that rejecting you now is to protect your future.

I don’t have too many demands on my son. I just hope that he can run his own small family in a prosperous way, and I am completely relieved.

@子清(无码)

The greatness of maternal love is that she works tirelessly, has no regrets, and even gives everything she has to pour in a steady stream of love when she is a child. .

At that time, the nourishment of maternal love was needed.

However, when he grows up and treats him with the same ideas and methods as a child, he is leading the child astray.

I remember once helping a colleague pick up his child, who was about six or seven years old.

Apart from his parents, he is very obedient.

Be sensible and well-behaved in school. The schoolbag is neatly organized.

However, I usually do homework at home and spread it out on the table. Either dad cleans it up, or mom cleans it up. I never do anything myself.

On the way to school, I asked her: "Who helped you pack this schoolbag?"

She said very proudly: "Myself."

At that time, I was really surprised. He looked at her in disbelief.

The little girl was happy and said: "Why, you look down on me, I'm just pretending."

I nodded hurriedly and said: "Believe it, believe it, the little girl is really Great, I can do anything."

She was laughing.

I turned around and asked her, pretending to be strange: "You are so good at packing your schoolbag yourself, so why do your parents help you pack it at home?"

She was little With a smile on his face, he said, "Just let them pretend. They are the ones packing schoolbags anyway, and I am too lazy to pretend."

I said, "Then you did it on purpose, pretending that you don't know how to pack schoolbags?"

She smiled and shook her head, jumping forward and running forward.

You see, children of a certain age actually know everything.

She actually knows how to "take" her parents.

However, in the eyes of her parents, she is just a child who knows nothing and understands nothing. In addition to eating and not feeding her, her mother also took her out of bed to dress her.

As an intermediary, I definitely know the other side of the child better than her parents. But I couldn't tell her parents.

I am just a spectator. However, the child's problem broke into my memory in a surprising way.

Therefore, I often tell my friends that children do not depend on whether they are biological or not, but how they are raised.

If she starts doing what she can from a young age, when she grows up, she will have independent thoughts in everything she does.

In this case, how can middle-aged and elderly parents have so much sadness?

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