A classic sentence of love qq says that I miss you and can't stop eating.

1. Once you have it, you will never forget that inner desire, that uncontrollable impulse, that mistake of trying to hold it in your hand and never giving up. People are fragile, when you are hurt and hurt, there are too many disappointments and helplessness. Miss you heartache has become a habit!

2. Meeting and parting sometimes happen, and nothing lasts forever.

You are snowing heavily in the sunny south, and I am cold as spring in the north.

If I can get there before dark, I will forget your eyes.

5. You are beyond my three-minute fever.

6. There is no need to deliberately cater to and please anyone. A person is neither happy nor sad.

7, the forest has trees and branches, I don't know.

8. Even if I am a princess in everyone's heart, I am nothing in your heart.

9. We have had misunderstandings that are far apart, but I am still fearless.

10, giving up your heart means that you are at risk of injury, but the world is so big that it would be even sadder if no one is willing to show it. Only the heart can get the heart.

1 1, insipid is true, that's right, but it should be insipid after passion, then passionate and then insipid. Passion should appear alternately in waves. What's the point of living a dull and passionate life? As long as you really love him, you will have passion until you die.

12. Now, will you still take the beautiful road you said?

13, how can you understand the feeling of tossing and turning for someone who doesn't like you at all?

14, I am so timid that I dare not say that I like you.

15, you should be like an indifferent adult, and don't let your emotions be kidnapped easily. Don't exult because of a few sweet words, and don't fall to the bottom because you missed someone's news. Happiness is found by yourself, not given by others.

16, we agreed never to leave, why am I the only one staying where I am?

17, love is an emotion, and quarreling is another emotion. These two emotions can coexist. The easier it is to fall in love, the easier it is to get angry and not quarrel, relying on tolerance. A person only has the ability to love, but has no tolerance. Finally, naturally, it is quarrelsome.

18, if you have a dream, you must bravely pursue it. Don't be afraid of loneliness, at least you still have yourself.

19, a poor man can't finish a dream in his life, and he won't tell anyone about the island he met.

20, in fact, it's not so melodramatic. I just thought of you inadvertently, and then my heart began to cramp.

2 1. How painful it is to miss him without disturbing him.

The deepest loneliness is not darkness, but that you can only see yourself.

23. I don't think that when people are mature, they are more tolerant and can accept everything. On the contrary, I think it should be a process of gradual elimination. Know what is most important to you. Know what is unimportant. Then, be a simple person. Forrest Gump

24. If you are sad, please smile and let it go.

25. There are many things in life. What can be forgotten is called the past, and what cannot be forgotten is called memory. A person's loneliness, sometimes, is hard to hide for too long. Too long, people will become silent. At that time, some old feelings could not be found back. Perhaps, when a tireless journey is over, only those who stand at the end will feel tired. In fact, I have always understood that it is not easy to accompany someone all the time. lake

26. I've been thinking about eating black wheat.

27. I will miss you only when I do one thing, and that is breathing.

28, because the heart has long been barren, his heart can no longer hold a home.

29. Love is like a gust of wind, which blows away and leaves.

30. Deep feelings have never been disappointed, and only fickle feelings will be missed repeatedly.

3 1, beg that person to leave life and death, laugh with you and accompany you forever.

In a word, I can't stop laughing.

1 I'm not a fucking god! I can't be like you love me!

House prices are getting higher and higher, and there are fewer and fewer good men.

If three people don't attack me, I won't attack. If someone attacks me, I will be angry!

Playing in the community last night, the ball got stuck in the basket and we couldn't reach it. I saw a buddy walking lightly, wearing headphones, and a run-up dropped his racket. Then, in our adoring eyes, we silently picked up the mobile phone that fell to the ground and broke in half.

There is no room for two tigers in one mountain unless there is a male and a female.

6 put the used toothpick back into the toothpick jar and shake it. Later, I went to a restaurant for dinner and found that many people have the same habit.

Whether you fart or mute, you should admit it immediately after farting.

The most brilliant moment of apple was hitting Newton on the head.

Those women who take part in the beauty pageant can't find good men, because good men are married, such as me.

10 Kill Li Xia as a Ferrari, boy.

In a word, I can't stop laughing.

1 1 The so-called threshold is the door when you pass, and the threshold when you can't pass.

12 is unreasonable, there must be something wrong!

13 heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age.

14 Look at you! Look at the back, there are thousands of troops; Turn around and scare away millions of heroes.

15 I won't bend over when money falls from the sky, because even pies won't fall from the sky, let alone money.

16 Life is as dry as shit. You work harder, and then you will feel comfortable.

17 advertising is to tell others that money can still be spent like this!

18 people can play with nose bubbles when they are bored. .

19 you cry, you cry hard, it's okay, our water meter has long been broken.

20 Part I: How worried is China Men's Olympics? Part two: It's like a group of eunuchs visiting a brothel. Horizontal criticism: no one will shoot.

2 1 I weigh myself unhappy, and I want to eat if I am unhappy!

If you don't degenerate in debauchery, you will metamorphose in silence.

Three elements of success: 1, persistence; 2, shameless; 3. Insist on being shameless. Did you do it?

24 people always deceive themselves, because it is easier than deceiving others.

25 people keep their words. If I say no, I won't pay back!

Love your neighbor, but don't let her husband know!

You'd better let me kneel on the washboard. Kneeling on the electric heater is really unbearable!

I know all banquets must come to an end, but at least, I want to eat well at the banquet!

Sunrise in the East China Sea and setting in the West Mountain is also a day of sadness and joy; People are comfortable when they are not entangled in things.

I have grown hair and troubles. Don't think an old woman is not a monk just because she has long hair. In fact, I have been thinking about the teacher in the arms of Taoist priests.

3 1 How dare you talk to me about basketball when you don't even know Beckham!

The teacher said that if you don't study hard now, you will fill in the blanks in the future. Study hard now, and you will find multiple-choice questions later!

No one is born afraid of death, and no one is born afraid of death, so don't pretend to be TM!

A lot of people have jumped off buildings recently, so be careful not to be hit.

Live well or die quickly.

Tang seng meat can live forever, but I wonder if Tang seng excrement has the same effect?

Reading today, I was depressed to see that Emperor Kangxi became the king of a country at the age of twenty-three. But when I saw that the Tongzhi emperor was 23 years old and had died for four years, my heart was balanced.

The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a bird man.

The wind and cloud in the world came out of our generation, entered the rivers and lakes, and the years disappeared. When you are talking and laughing, you can't live a drunken life!

Behind every successful Altman, there is a little monster who is beaten silently!

If my brother 4 1 dies, please burn me a sister.

Water can carry a boat and cook porridge!

As long as someone respects me, I begin to doubt human dignity.

I can fry oil by putting your words in the oil pan, haha. ...

Rape the Japanese on the moon. Let the earth people talk!

In public, I often choose politeness, but in private, I often insult my manners.

40 funny quotations in one sentence _ I can't stop laughing

1, life is like fighting landlords, but a group of people are enemies.

My wallet is like an onion. I burst into tears every time I opened it.

3. Some people test their strength, others test their eyesight, and I test my imagination.

4. Love based on marriage is either hooliganism.

Don't push me, or I will become great and out of control.

6. I am like a fly lying on the glass. I have a bright future, but I can't find a way out.

7. Being talented is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

8. I watch the time in the morning not to see what time it is, but to see how long I can sleep.

9. As long as you are thin, everything is omnipotent. If you are fat, everything is useless.

10. Although the bird is small, it plays all over the sky.

1 1, looking at beautiful women in the street, looking up is appreciation, looking down is hooliganism.

12, believe is believe, don't believe is not believe, you fucking return WeChat.

13, everyone is original at birth. Sadly, many people have gradually become pirates!

14, my advantage: courage to admit mistakes; Disadvantages: resolutely do not change.

15, in this age of promiscuity, a dear is at best just a hello!

16, even if you are already taken, I will move you to my side.

17, in the days without women, I take pleasure in flirting with men.

18, time waits for no one, first of all, women are not spared; Opportunity waits for no man. First of all, you can't wait for a man.

19, whenever I have enough to eat and drink, I will think of the serious matter of losing weight.

20. Youth is capital, but it is worthless without hard work.

2 1, I am proud and proud that until now, the earth is still being trampled by me.

22. It will be dark and the road will be slippery. On the way home, you may not know who is more cunning than you.

23. You also made me kneel on the washboard. Kneeling and heating really can't stand it.

24. Toss a coin, surf the Internet on the front, sleep on the back, and stand up and do your homework.

25. Women are always strong for a few days, even if they are bleeding.

26. Announcement of test results: laugh if you do well in the test, and don't cry or laugh if you don't do well in the test.

27. I want to ask: We all paid money at school. Shouldn't teachers listen to us?

28. If one day I become a hooligan, please tell others that I am innocent.

29. What I can't extricate myself is love. There are radishes in other people's fields.

30. My life creed is: live like a grandson for decades, and then die like a grandfather.

3 1, I am like grass, I can't extricate myself.

32. Friends are iron, which melts when burned.

33. Don't stare at me. You think you are a palette.

How dare I touch you? I'm afraid I will buy hand sanitizer to help myself.

Give me a woman and I will create a country! Give you a sow, and the price of meat will fall next year?

36. The longest love I have ever talked about is narcissism. Love yourself, no rival in love.

37. You think you will be in my heart for a long time. I'm telling you, you think too much.

38. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

39. I am not RMB. How can I make everyone like me?

40. It's not that I don't want to lose weight. I'm just afraid of a rebound.

30 phrases that can't stop laughing

Guide: I went to Sanya with my husband that year, and I wore a robot cat couple suit that day when I went to the ends of the earth. I invited a kind grandfather to take a photo for us in front of the lover tree. After filming, grandpa handed me the camera and asked, "Are you from the same unit?"

1. Dad has an old rival at work. It happens that my old rival has a son who is two years older than me. One day at dinner, my father suddenly said to me, "Daughter, why don't you go out with the old man's son?" This will definitely make his family restless! "

2. I am nearsighted. I didn't wear glasses when I traveled. I saw a woman in front carrying a bag decorated with white background and blue spikes, which was particularly beautiful. I thought it matched the lake green dress I bought, so I ran up and said, "Your bag is beautiful. Where did you buy it? " As a result, I took a closer look: there were two green onions hanging in the plastic bag.

3. The woman who just entered the entertainment circle asked weakly, "When having sex with an actor, will that actor have a physiological reaction?" If so, how can we avoid embarrassment? "A senior actress in the entertainment circle said," If there is no response, it will be embarrassing! "

4. An idiot colleague said that his girlfriend broke up recently, and another colleague comforted: There are actually many ways to please girls. Because you are not handsome enough and attractive enough, your temperament has not settled down, and you can't even spend more time with her at work. Why don't you make more money and try a new girlfriend?

5. Scared me to death. I just had a nightmare. I dreamed that my wife divorced me and the house was awarded to her. I wiped the sweat from my head and glanced at her sleeping beside me. I am finally relieved. It's dawn Go to sleep again. It's too fucking hot. I have to find a ventilated overpass to sleep tomorrow and give her some air. It's flat ...

6. Generally speaking, I am a gentle and tolerant person, but it doesn't mean that I have no bottom line. I quarreled with my daughter-in-law just now, and she actually slapped me three times. I was angry at that time: "Why don't you fucking slap yourself?"

7. One day when it was raining heavily, the single idiot classmate saw a beautiful woman standing outside a small supermarket to hide from the rain, and her expression was melancholy. Second-rate students felt the opportunity came, so they went into the supermarket and bought an umbrella. He is preparing to go out and find beautiful women. As soon as he turned around, the beautiful woman came in and said to the supermarket owner, "Husband, why don't you go?" It's getting dark! The supermarket owner said, "Stay outside a little longer, and our umbrellas will be sold out soon." ..."

8. My roommate said that his mobile phone was broken and it didn't ring for several days. Let me have a look. I studied it carefully for a while, then threw it on the ground and said excitedly, "Listen! It's ringing! "

9. In the month of 9.XX, a big pit appeared on the final exam paper. Q: The laboratory led by _ _ _ and _ _ found the phenomenon of nuclear magnetic resonance. Everyone scribbled for a while, and Thomas tactfully filled in "Party and country" and scored 0!

10, my wife sent me a text message. "When you come home from work, I'll take off my clothes and dance for you!" I have worked overtime for 24 hours at present.

1 1, Dragon Boat Festival is coming. It is said that the mid-range monthly income in Europe and America can be considered above 5w, the monthly income in low-end Europe can be considered at 3w, the monthly income in Southeast Asia 1w to 2w, the monthly income in domestic travel below 1w, the monthly income in domestic travel below 5k, the monthly income in outing below 3k and the monthly income in peanut oil below 65438+.

12, the hospital's care for patients is getting more and more attention! I'm waiting for a physical examination in the infusion hall. A nurse came up to the girl in front and said, you are going to finish the intravenous drip soon. Did you take a selfie? If you don't shoot, shoot quickly. I'm going to pull out the needle after the injection ...

13, crossing the road this afternoon ... I was dragged by a pupil and insisted on spending it with me. I laughed it off. The child was timid, so I agreed. Crossing the road, I saw the pupils skipping away and said, well, I ran to help the blind cross the road today, and the teacher will certainly praise me ... I won the Olympics ... and I was Sparta on the spot!

14, an old lady in the supermarket brought her own "buy one get one free" tape and bought two packages of steamed bread. I quickly put the "free tasting" sign next to the steamed bread!

15, Dad, I may have met my long-lost brother today. The Yu Pei in his hand is exactly the same as the one on my waist. Where is my Yu Pei!

16. Xia rode home and found his wife and children missing. Only one credit dagger was nailed to the wall. He picked up the letter and read, "I have your wife and children." If they want to be safe, I will wait for you at xx Post Office in xx Ridge on the edge of xx City in three days. " Great Xia was furious and tore the letter to pieces. He shouted at Tian Da, "How dare you be so arrogant, bold thief! In three days, I'll cut you to pieces! ... I forgot the address of the sleeping trough! "

17, the most painful quarrel in the world is like this, female: You explain it to me clearly, and I won't end it with you until you explain it clearly. M: OK, I'll explain it to you. Woman: I don't listen, I don't listen, I don't listen …

18, "Wife, are there any photos without makeup? Send me one quickly. " "What's the matter?" "Nothing, I can't stop burping ..."

19, my wife always thinks I'm naive. Just now in the car, she was talking about it again. I was a little unhappy and scolded, "Is it over?" Drive, don't mess with me, what should I do if something happens! "She seemed to know that she was wrong and bowed her head silently. I couldn't stand it, so I changed the subject: "Give me some more coins. This pleasant goat is not as easy to catch as that big wolf. "

20, there are rumors that you can't look in the mirror in the middle of the night, you will see dirty things! Today, my girlfriend came to see me, came back after going out at night, and was about to look in the mirror after washing. My girlfriend no longer says that I can't take pictures, and I will see terrible things. Coax the child's husband and say: What? Afraid of seeing yourself after makeup removal?

2 1. Today in the dormitory, my brother in the upper bunk said, "My ass hurts, as if I have a pimple inside." Then the buddy in the lower bunk blurted out, "How did you grow another one?" The atmosphere in the dormitory suddenly solidified!

22. In high school, an idiot friend came back to class overnight. Just got off the plane, not too sleepy. I had a lollipop in my mouth and talked and laughed with us. After a while, I was sleepy, forgot the sugar in my mouth, fell asleep at my desk and slept all morning. When I woke up after school, I found my face stuck to the table by saliva. A group of people watched him suddenly turn his face away from the table. ...

23. "Honey, I'm so scared when it thunders outside ..." "No, it just thunders. It passed quickly. " "Good husband, can you come out from under the bed first?"

24.lz fell in love with herself. Yesterday, when I was talking about the gift money with my in-laws, my mother-in-law asked for 10W, and my brain got a cramp: "It is illegal to kidnap people." Then I saw my mother-in-law with black lines all over her face. Do you think I still have hope?

25. I went to my classmate's house to play. My classmate's son doesn't eat well, and his mother doesn't care how to coax him. As soon as I saw it, my classmate's son ate it and said that he would not be handsome if he didn't eat it. The classmate's wife agreed and said to her son, "Look at my uncle, I didn't eat well when I was a child, and that's it ..." I: ...

26. One day I met my friend in the street and saw a blood mark on his neck. I was surprised and asked, "What happened to that' black heart'? Who hit him?" The friend cried and said, "Brother, you are right. You can't buy a fake gold necklace. The quality of my bike is too good. I was robbed by a thief. Damn, I dragged on for a long time and almost strangled me. "

27. Humans have 23 pairs of chromosomes. One day, an old man who taught biology asked slowly, "Students, how many pairs of chromosomes are there?" An idiot in the corner loudly replied, "64 pairs!" " "The old man nodded calmly and seriously." Well, now tell me, what's the purpose of your coming to earth? "

28. Playing truth or dare, a buddy lost and asked him to call 10086 to buy sanitary napkins. Customer service: "Hello, what can I do for you?" Buddy: "Hello, I want to buy a pack of sanitary napkins. Customer service: "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, we don't have this business here. "Buddy:" Well, I bought it before, why don't I sell it now? "Customer Service:" Sorry, sir, we have never had this business. Why not call 100 10? "

29. The opposite person looked at me a few times and said, "No common cause, no common goal. See you later. " . Looking at his far-away back, I muttered to myself, "Damn, refusing to carry is so awesome."

30. Yesterday, my girlfriend lost a 5s, and the space made a dynamic. Today, a dozen friends called to express their condolences to her! She said, "Shit, it's either the charger or the phone case!" "I comforted my best friend and said," What a bunch of scum. Ignore them. You should still have that earphone, right? "You see it's no use ..."

Editor's note: I once visited my house and found my relatives beating his children as soon as I entered the door. When asked, I learned that the children picked up the dried sheep dung eggs on the roadside as black dates and put them in a bowl with plastic bags. So I saw a family of three, the mother was beating her son, the son was crying and the father was brushing his teeth.