Funny copywriting to make you feel better

1. You are only twenty years old. It is normal not to meet someone you like. If you don’t meet someone you like when you are thirty, don’t worry. You will get used to it in ten years at most.

2. I drank a cup of espresso coffee at Starbucks at night, but now I can’t sleep. It hurts to think about how expensive it is.

3. As someone who has been there, my advice to young people is: don’t come here.

4. Let’s talk about the things you wanted to do in high school but failed to do. God’s reply: I have a heart to go to Tsinghua University, but God has arranged for me to study Lan Xiang.

5. Palmist Master: Your palms are big, you must be lonely. Me: Huh? You can see this, why? Palmist Master: Because the bigger the palm, the lonelier it becomes.

6. You two seem to be a perfect match. Yue Lao has done a good job in sorting garbage.

7. I like to hide things, just like I have nine partners, and you don’t know any of them.

8. How many years have passed, the only thing that remains unchanged is the desire to get rich.

9. I thought the spark between us was love, but unexpectedly, it was Qiuku.

10. You must study hard and don’t just eat and drink with a cute face like me.

11. I am a sheep. Today, I was shorn, and then I lost my wool.

12. Sometimes punctuation is really important. Just now a girl posted a selfie and I commented that it looked nice. Then I originally wanted to add an exclamation mark, but then I accidentally clicked a question mark and sent it. Now I’m stuck with her comment. I was blocked and added to more than ten discussion groups.

13. There is no labor on Labor Day, and there is no lover on Valentine’s Day. Fortunately, I am still a bachelor on Singles’ Day.

14. In the past, as long as the feelings were true, age did not matter. But now, as long as the feelings are true, gender is not an issue.

15. Gradually, I understood a truth. It is often those humble restaurants where you can eat real delicious food. And I can't afford those hotels with gorgeous decorations, exquisite cooking, and attentive service.

16. Time is like a butcher's knife. This is true for those who are beautiful. For those who are ugly, time has nothing to do with them.

17. I was on the phone with my boyfriend yesterday, but for some reason the call was suddenly disconnected. After a while, the guy called me again. Before I could say anything, he said: Can you lose weight? Tell me yourself, how many times have you done this month? His smiling face touched the hang-up button!

18. What can we learn from cows, hippos and elephants? It's impossible to lose weight just by eating a vegetarian diet, eating salads, and walking.

19. This kind of weather is not suitable for going to work or going to school. It is only suitable for lying under the quilt.

20. Do all children grow upside down now? Elementary school student: "Grandson, your grandpa and I are here." Middle and high school students: "Kid, be careful, daddy, I'll ask someone to beat you." College student: "I'm scared to death. Is the baby angry?"

21. When one or two people said I was ugly, I didn’t take it seriously, but when more and more people said I was ugly, I understood the seriousness of the matter: there are really more and more liars nowadays.

22. A friend had a cold and went to the hospital to get an intravenous drip. The nurse’s hands kept shaking when she was inserting the needle, so the friend asked her: "My dear, are you a novice?" The nurse said: "No. "The guy got angry when he heard it: "You're not a newbie, why don't you shake your hair!" The nurse said aggrievedly: "I was in a hurry to go out this morning."

23. I used to raise it. He had a dog, and when he was getting older, looking into his eyes, he was full of reluctance and sadness. The day he died, I cried all night. Now I have raised a tortoise, and he will still be alive when I die. I want to leave my sorrow to the tortoise.

24. Growing up, I didn’t learn anything else, but I mastered a special skill. I can sleep without sleeping pills during the day, and I can be excited without stimulants at night.

25. I am already drifting, with no debt, no mortgage, and no beloved woman. With 3,500 a month, you can still eat pork and drink some wine every now and then.

I seem to be quite satisfied watching movies and playing games alone on weekends.

26. Some people test by strength, some people test by eyesight, but I test by imagination.

27. I tried to be an interesting person, but then I went astray and became a funny person.