20 17 is super funny and domineering. Tell me about it.

If you can't tolerate me, it means that either your mind is too narrow or my personality is too great. The following is the 20 17 super funny and domineering thunder man I compiled for you, I hope you like it ~

20 17 super funny, domineering, Ren Lei talks about selected works.

1, on March 4th, you can leave things behind, pick three and pick four, say three and pour four, flip three and pour four, check three and choose four, leave three and choose four, or don't take three and choose four, but you can't have three wives and four concubines! There is only one day in a year, so look forward to it and cherish it!

2. Unscrupulous job advertisements of medical universities: Polytechnic University ruined its life, while Normal University was poor for three generations. If you come to Medical University, you will become Gao Fushuai. There is no electricity in the dormitory, and there is takeout all night. Everywhere in the nursing department, there is always something for you. Senior students can be cute, and junior students can be cute. The senior is very kind, so the junior naturally wants to stay. The ratio of male to female is 1:3, depending on orientation and mentality. The medical university is waving and smiling at you.

Even if you eat a KFC home delivery, it means that you want a handsome guy to deliver the goods. Who are you to accuse this society of paying attention to appearance and ignoring inner ones? Why do you complain that others only love beautiful women? Haven't you heard that the price of silicone has gone up? I can't even make up. What is your future? Pour it quickly, or you won't even be qualified to deliver food.

4. The upper eyelid said to the lower eyelid: Why are you ignoring me again? The lower eyelid said: because the master has to study, we still can't be together. The upper eyelid said: How happy is that? The lower eyelid said: no, what is our love if the master doesn't take the exam? The host was moved and said, You are together. So the two embraced, and there was another sleeping child in the study room.

5, no money to raise pigs, rich dogs. Those who have no money want to get married, and those who have money want to get divorced. Wives and secretaries without money, secretaries and wives with money. Those who have no money pretend to have money, and those who have money pretend to have no money. People don't tell the truth, saying that stocks are drugs and money is evil. Everyone wants to say that beauty is a disaster, and everyone is climbing when it is too high to be cold. It is said that alcohol and tobacco are harmful to health and that it is best not to go to heaven.

6. I feel lovelorn on Monday; I feel that I can't find an object on Tuesday; Wednesday feels like a crush; Thursday feels like a confession; Friday feels like first love; Saturday feels like love; I feel like breaking up on Sunday.

7. Since having a baby, the mobile phone has been changed to mute; Since I had a baby, the photos in my mobile phone are all TA's; Since having a baby, I have ignored the image when I go out; Since I had a baby, all I care about is parenting knowledge; Since I had a baby, my salary has been spent on TA; Since I had a baby, I bid farewell to laziness; I've been patient and careful since I had a baby ... In short, with a baby, I'm going to be Altman.

8. "Fighting Dad" in the dialects of the four classical novels: In "Water Margin": Dad is a senior official of the imperial court, crazy and does whatever he wants; Romance of the Three Kingdoms: The ancestors of the royal family are really glorious, so resources don't need to be strengthened. A dream of red mansions: poor and unfortunate dad died early, helpless and panicked; Journey to the West: Although I have no parents, I am busy working for others!

9. I fucking love you so much that you fucking ignore it; I give you a fucking discharge, and you fucking pretend not to see it; I have a fucking cigarette, and you fucking pull me over; I fucking hold your hand, and you fucking tremble; I fucking kissed you and you fucking refused to die. You are so fucking heartless and unintentional. I fucking decided to give up. I was about to jump off a building when you turned the fuck around. You fucking changed your mind. I fucking landed.

10, looking for her in the crowd, stepping on the road. Suddenly looking back and looking around, there are countless uncles and aunts. Occasionally, beautiful women patronize, or married women, and most of the rest are basically ugly.

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12, don't watch how others cut your hair, it will make you crazy and popular, you have to cooperate! Look at your hairstyle, it doesn't match your face, your figure, your hairstyle, it doesn't match at all! ! Brother Huan! What exactly do you want?

13, Ah Shui is famous for picking up girls, which is a thorn in our men's side. His elegant posture exudes attractive charm, which makes all girls irresistible. His heartbreaking eyes, no matter how cold and arrogant a woman is, will be melted by his gentle eyes. He is recognized as a lover in the neighborhood and the soul of the tea restaurant. Everyone knows him-Prince Egg Tower.

Jeremy Lin is not handsome enough. I hope that when I walk with my husband in the future, others will envy me and say, Wow, your husband is so handsome! No wow: Your husband is Jeremy Lin. I think handsome can be eaten as a meal, but basketball cannot be eaten as a meal. If you find a star to marry, there will always be many fans around your husband, which will easily lead to life-threatening.

15, it's okay for girls and girls to go shopping hand in hand, but boys and boys are just stirring up the base; There is no problem for girls to kiss girls, and boys are just stirring up the base; It is no problem for girls to call their husbands or wives, but boys and boys just stir up the base; It's okay for girls to share a bed with girls, but boys and boys just screwed up. To sum up, in this world, as long as two men appear together, it is a spoiler.

20 17 super funny domineering Ren Lei talks about the latest.

1, don't watch how others cut your hair, it will make you crazy and popular, you have to cooperate! Look at your hairstyle, it doesn't match your face, your figure, your hairstyle, it doesn't match at all! ! Brother Huan! What exactly do you want?

2. The white snake deliberately rained to cheat Xu Xian's umbrella. Zhu Yingtai pretended to be crazy when sending 18 birthday party, and the seven fairies blocked Yong Dong's way. When Vega took a bath, the cowherd took her clothes? These stories tell us that at the beginning of great love, there must be hooligans first. You don't have love, maybe you don't know how to play hooligans.

It is said that the way to ruin a good song is to use it as a wake-up call, the way to ruin a good book is to put it in the examination range, the way to ruin a secret love is to confess to him, and the way to ruin a yearning place is to go there when you forget to wear long pants.

4, one year for two years, three years to deny mom and dad; One billion people, 900 million people, and 100 million people are developing; Dogs are happy when they bite urine; The hero stepped across the pickle jar in high spirits; Heaven has no eyes, villains are in power, bad luck, and talents have not met; Shit, I'm not whoring, I'm whoring.

5, husband, husband, I love you, just like an old farmer who grows rice, waiting for you carefully, waiting for you to slowly become rice, loving you, thinking that you eat you, I will start planting rice.

6. A swimming coach was shopping in the mall when a beautiful lady suddenly came to meet him. He looked at it carefully for a long time before he recognized it as one of his students. So he exclaimed loudly, "I really didn't recognize you when you put on your clothes!" "

7. I'm going to cry. I'm going to make trouble. I stayed up all night, holding a bottle of sleeping pills and hanging myself with a small rope. No matter how ugly, you have to fall in love. When the world is full of love.

8. The most famous health care master in China is not Zhang Wuben, but Baidu; China's best-selling books are no longer youth literature, but health books; The most common way for people in China to keep fit is not to take yoga classes, but to eat. China people's most valuable friend is not a life mentor, but a doctor. Rich without health, you are still poor; Cultivate one's morality and not cultivate one's heart. You are still a patient. The low person strengthens the body, the high person nourishes the heart, and the high person shares the heart of the country.

9. Smart women nowadays have two skills: one is to pretend to be serious, and the other is to pretend not to be serious. In order to fight against them, smart men also learned two skills: one is to pretend to be rich, and the other is to pretend to know rich people.

10, the Germans cut off the problems where there is no problem; China people erase problems where there are problems. The purpose of gouging out questions is to distinguish things; Erasing problems means covering up contradictions. The Japanese can't forgive themselves the most; China people are the least forgiving. Japanese people are most willing to be students; China people like being teachers best. What China people are not good at is innovation; What can't be preserved most is tradition. I can't afford a new house, but I have to tear down the old one.

1 1, China Fashion Magazine is a group of editors with a monthly salary of 8,000, telling a group of readers with a monthly salary of 3,000 how to spend their money. China's advertisement is a group of advertisers who work overtime every day, telling people who can't afford a house to enjoy life like the richest man. College counselors in China are a group of educators who lament the failure of their lives all day, telling freshmen who are stupefied by 12 exam-oriented education what to do to succeed.

12, the teacher teaches kindergarten children to learn English and read ABC. There is a child who just doesn't want to die. The teacher asked him why, and the children replied, "Mom says B is cursing, so you can't talk!" " "The teacher said angrily," Your mother's B is different from the teacher's B! Your mother's B is abusive, and the teacher's B is a foreigner's.

13, that year, Aoi sora was still a virgin, Edison Chen didn't have a camera, Li Gang didn't have a son, the chrysanthemum was just a flower, the penguin wasn't qq, 2B was just a pencil, instant noodles and spices were bought, the cup was just for brushing teeth, the building was for living, cucumbers and bananas were just for eating, pears weren't so big, the bullet train didn't rear-end, and Cecilia Cheung, Nicholas Tse still got divorced. This year, we all understand.

14, there is a so-called truth. Do you believe it or not? I believe it anyway. An attempted murder was called a miracle. There is a time for committing crimes, which is called a seven-minute delay. There is a death toll called Eternal 35. There is a kind of burying the body, which is called burying the body of an accident car. There is a kind of nonsense, asking the leaders to give instructions to rescue the wounded. There is a kind of hypocrisy, called propaganda disaster, great love. There is a kind of accountability, called lightning accidents, and drivers are tired of driving.

15, poor girlfriend abandoned him and found a continental drama in Gao Fushuai. The poor boy and the short man competed with Gao Fushuai for the same girl. Later, the girl chose a poor and short Korean drama. Gao Fushuai pretends to be poor and falls in love with a girl. A group of poor people are laughing happily at Gao Fushuai's American TV series. It is English drama that the poor and Gao Fushuai come together happily.

16, Chinese can at least increase your literary knowledge! English can let you communicate with ghosts! History can keep you from betraying! Geography can keep you from getting lost! Politics can let you know how to defend your rights! But what can mathematics do besides destroying the whole life? Mud horse! ! You use functions to buy food! When you go to the Yellow Crane Tower, you have to calculate how far the ships in the Yangtze River are from you! When you see a row of phone numbers, think about whether there is a general formula between them!

17, rice, what I want; Thin is what I want. You can't have your cake and eat it. I'll go!

18, Dwelling House is popular, and you are clamoring for a Beckham; "Naked Marriage" became an instant hit, making you marry Liu Yiyang; "Thirty-three days of lovelorn love" was released, so you longed for a Wang Xiaojian around you; Why not be rich in an ocean paradise? All articles!

19, a friend of a political science and law college said that his alumni characteristics are: half of his classmates are catching the other half. A friend of the School of Economics and Management said: Half of the students are fooling the other half. A friend of journalism school said: Half of the students are canceling the other half. A friend of the Institute of Posts and Telecommunications said: Half of the students are smashing the other half's jobs.

20, Apple said: My CPU is high, Xiaomi smiled! Apple said: my quality is good, Nokia smiled! Apple said: My super fashion, Meizu smiled! Apple said: My music works well, so Sony Ericsson laughed! Apple said: My screen resolution is high, and Samsung smiled! Apple said: I lost weight and the motorcycle laughed! Apple said: my price is the most expensive, and everyone is silent.

2 1. There are always several grandfathers Mao every month. His face changed from red to green, then to yellow, then to blue, then to purple, then to blue, and finally left me.

22. Man, an animal, is really more difficult than other animals. Sometimes you have to be as strong as a lion, and sometimes you have to be as gentle as a sheep. Sometimes you have to be as animal as a wolf, and sometimes you have to be as flexible as a domestic cat. Sometimes you have to be as cunning as a fox, and sometimes you have to be as stupid as a hippo. Sometimes you have to be as agile as a rabbit, and sometimes you have to be as slow as a mountain turtle.

23. Everyone wants to catch the tail of youth. Unfortunately, youth is a gecko.

24. You take your overpass and I'll take my underground passage.

My hobbies can be divided into static and dynamic. Static is sleeping, dynamic is turning over?

26. Stand at the O-junction of life.

27. Most of the so-called beautiful women are slaves of cosmetics.

28. In high school, we are as busy as our grandchildren, but we can still be as happy as NB; University, we are as idle as NB, but we can't find the happiness of being a grandson?

29, life is only three days, people who live in yesterday are confused; Those who live in tomorrow wait; People who live in the present are the most practical.

30, a penny for a penny, porridge is not hungry.

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