Funny sentences that make people laugh

A collection of funny sentences that make people laugh

Introduction: Some classic and funny jokes can bring you joy and add a pleasant color to your life. Below I have compiled and recommended the most classic jokes, I hope you can learn something from them!

Collection of funny sentence excerpts

1) Don’t say I am arrogant, I just refuse to deal with animals .

2) I don’t understand music, so I am sometimes unreliable and sometimes out of tune.

3) You tell me, if you don’t have a diploma, you’ll learn to be ugly, if you’re not smart, you’ll learn to be bald!

4) The difference between humans and pigs is that pigs have always been It's a pig, but sometimes people are not people.

5) Others have a background, but I only have a back view.

6) Alas~ If this person is out of shape, even his headache will be migratory.

7) Look at you, look at your back and frighten thousands of troops, and turn your head to scare away millions of lions.

8) It doesn’t matter if your head is empty, the key is not to get water.

9) A man’s big toe turned blue, and the miracle doctor diagnosed it as cancer! He then removed it. After a few days, the second toe was also blue, so I had to cut it off! Three days later, the whole foot turned blue, so I had to be transferred to a large hospital. The old doctor looked at it with a magnifier for a long time and said: According to my many years of experience, your socks are fading.

10) I am not a fortune teller in the square, and I can’t talk as much as you like to hear.

11) Grandstanding can gain favor or lose favor.

12) Policeman: ?Have you drunk? Leiren: ?No!? Policeman: ?Why does it smell like alcohol? Leiren: ?Drank a glass of beer. ?Police:?Beer is also wine!?Lei Ren:?Is a snail a cow?Police:?No. ? Lei Ren: ? Is soy sauce oil? Police: ? No. Lei Ren: Is the girl a mother? Police: No. Lei Ren: Is beer wine? Police: No. ?Lei Ren: ?Isn’t this the end!?

13) Dozens of senior officials took a plane to travel. One of the provincial governors said: I will throw a yuan note down, and whoever picks it up will be happy. . A mayor said: It is better to throw Zhang Yuan away, everyone will be happy. Another district chief said: Just throw a one-yuan coin down and everyone will be happy when they find it. After hearing this, the pilot said: Why don't I throw you all away and let the people of the whole country be happy!

　14) The important task of the aircraft is to manufacture the aircraft.

15) Encountering a writer’s signature: It may seem like it, but it may not necessarily be the case. I came across a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

16) Usually the person who is willing to stay and argue with you is the one who truly loves you!

17) The son came home tremblingly: Dad, I only got a score in the exam today. ?. The father was very angry: "Next time you get a low grade in the exam, don't call me dad!" Three weeks later, his son came back from the exam. The father asked: "How did you do in the exam this time?" The son looked helpless: "I'm sorry, brother!" < /p>

18) It’s not that the ending of the story is not good enough, but that we demand too much from the story!

19) The 30-degree smile at the corner of your mouth cannot be found in Baidu search.

20) She doesn’t nag or throw bowls, and she doesn’t chat on QQ and doesn’t cheat. She drives a nice car, buys a new house, and raises her husband like a baby. She is shy of flowers when she is in the moonlight, she is like a fish and a goose. She is more intelligent than Zhuge Liang. She is Lin Daiyu during the day and Pan Jinlian at night. She loves children, loves her husband, listens to her parents-in-law, and can go to the hall or kitchen. I only make money for my husband every day, but my husband feels sad if he doesn’t spend any money. She is one of the top ten people who moved China, and her name is "Other People's Wife."

21) Gold always shines, but when the ground is full of gold, I don’t know which one I am.

22) Tonight, let us keep warm with the cold war!

23) One day, Duan secretly played with his mobile phone in class, and was discovered by the head teacher who was patrolling outside the classroom. The head teacher used his mobile phone to send a message to Ah-Dai: "Why don't you listen carefully to the class?" Ah-Dai replied in confusion: "Who are you?" Head teacher: "Look out the window."

Duan looked at it and secretly replied: "Thanks for reminding me, we will talk later. Our head teacher is staring at me outside the window." ?

24) A traffic policeman was issuing a ticket, and a man came over with a cigarette in his mouth and shouted: What else do you do besides issuing a ticket? The traffic policeman ignored him, and the man continued: You have to drag him away! The traffic policeman was very angry, and the man Continue: You have to tow it away! The traffic policeman couldn't bear it and took out the walkie-talkie. When the traffic policeman was towing the car, he said kindly: Come to the fifth team in the afternoon to handle it! Man: It's none of my business! The car is not mine! After that, he hummed a tune and rode away on the battery car. .

25) Sometimes, it’s not that the other person doesn’t care about you, but that you take the other person too seriously.

26) Ordered two dishes from the canteen at noon. I was shocked when I ate the first one. Is there any more unpalatable dish in the world? I cried when I ate the second one? Is there really such a thing?

27) Flowers often belong not to the people who appreciate them, but to the cow dung.

　28) Wherever you fall, you get up. I always fall down there, I suspect there is a pit there!

　29) Going to the toilet at school, the old-fashioned way of squatting in the pit. When I stood up, my phone fell down. I quickly looked down and saw: Fortunately, it was not too low on the pit. I leaned over and was about to pick it up, when a text message suddenly came, buzzing? The phone vibrated and slid down the pit, leaving a string of bubbles floating on the bottom of the pit! I don’t want the phone anymore, I just want to know that message Who the hell sent the text message?

30) There is no rehearsal in life, every day is a live broadcast; not only the ratings are low, but the salary is not high.

31) Face is given by others, but face is lost by oneself.

32) Zhuge Liang commanded the battle and followed the army in a separate chariot each time. There was a battle. As soon as the battle started, Liang took the lead in driving towards the enemy. The morale of the army was greatly boosted. He followed closely behind and defeated the enemy. After the war, everyone praised: "The military commander is brave!" He said brightly: "Oh, the slope is too sloped and the car did not stop."

33) Others have backgrounds, but I only have the back.

34) Only women and heroes have trouble, only wives and jobs are hard to find.

35) Asked a colleague: Have you bought PetroChina? The colleague said: Bah! You just bought PetroChina. Your whole family bought PetroChina, and also Sinopec!?

36) My wife called late in the evening, and my husband said angrily: Hello! This is the Lijiuli service hotline. Please press to admit your mistake; press to divorce; if you want to hit someone, this service desk will transfer you. My wife was so angry that she hung up the phone. Late at night, the husband came home and found the door locked. He called his wife's cell phone. The wife said in a falsetto: Hello! This is the service hotline for who is afraid of whom. If you want to go home, please kneel on the washboard; if you want to get divorced, please kneel on the nail board; if you feel uncomfortable, this service desk will transfer you.

37) He who is petty is not a gentleman, and he who is not poisonous is not a Trojan horse.

38) It turns out that as long as people are separated, no matter how familiar they were, they will gradually become alienated.

39) When a man deceives a woman, it is called teasing; when a woman deceives a man, it is called seduction; when men and women deceive each other, it is called love.

40) A drives a BMW. B: ?Brother, where did the BMW come from? ?A: ?I met a beautiful woman in the bar that day. She drove me to the top of the mountain in her BMW at night, and then took off her clothes and told me, ?You can have what you want. ?. So I drove her BMW away. ?Yi thought for a long time and said: ?Brother, you did the right thing. You can't wear her clothes either. ? Excerpts of humorous short sentences

1. Prices have risen too fast, so I always pay first when I eat in restaurants.

2. You will never get it if you have fun and have fun.

3. Put away your love. I’m tired of all the cheating.

4. In fact, I am not stupid, I am just too lazy to be smart.

5. Ever since I left you, others have asked me: Do you always soak your eyeballs in tears to disinfect them?

6. Dozens of beauties say I am handsome but I don’t admit it, so they use it Hit me with bricks and call me hypocritical.

7. A typical sign of being single is that one month’s data plan has long been gone and more than half of the call plan is left.

8. When something goes wrong, look for the cause within yourself first. Don’t blame the earth’s lack of gravity for constipation.

9. I look at the time in the morning not to see what time it is but to see how long I can sleep.

10. Give me a woman and I can create a nation! Reply: If I give you a sow, will the price of meat drop next year?

11. Wear someone else’s shoes . Go your own way. Let them say so.

12. I want to ask: We have paid money in school, shouldn’t we let the teachers listen to us?

13. As long as you are thin, you can do anything; if you are fat, you can do anything. .

14. If time waits for no one, women will not be spared first; if opportunity waits for no one, men will not be spared first.

15. Life is like playing Landlords in which you are a group at first and become enemies in the blink of an eye.

16. There is no such thing as an inseparable couple, only a mistress who doesn’t work hard.

17. Hum, winter is the most hooligan, always likes to freeze my hands and feet.

18. Some people take exams by strength, some people take exams by eyesight, but I rely on rich imagination.

19. Everyone is original when they are born. Sadly, many people gradually become pirates!

20. My advantages: the courage to admit my mistakes; disadvantages: determined not to change. Appreciation of humorous short sentences and paragraphs

1. A heartless person can live a hundred years and a clear conscience is not tiring.

2. In fact, it’s not our fault that we fall asleep in class. It’s just that the earth is too attractive.

3. How many students have failed at the end of the text: reciting the full text.

4. It is said that people with big faces cannot use touch-screen phones because the phone hangs up when they smile.

5. Teacher, I met a robber and my homework was stolen.

6. From elementary school to university, the only thing that remains unchanged is a heart that doesn’t want to study.

7. If I couldn’t beat you, I would have fallen out with you long ago.

8. Whenever it’s time for an exam, I feel like I’m in a mental hospital when I walk in the dormitory corridor.

9. I generally do not evaluate others easily. Anyone I evaluate is no longer a human being.

10. My wallet is like an onion and makes me burst into tears every time I open it.

11. Since you deleted me, there is no need to add me back. One more for you, no more for you, no less for you.

12. I seem to really care about you. I am not happy when you are happy. I am happiest when you are unhappy.

13. Pretending is only for a moment, being shameless is eternal.

14. Skipping class is a person’s joy, while attending class is a group’s loneliness.

15. If you look at beautiful women on the street with a high gaze, you are appreciative; if you look low with a low gaze, you are a gangster.

16. The longest relationship I have ever been in was narcissism. There is no rival in loving yourself.

17. Don’t show me your face because you think you are a palette.

18. What I can pick up now but cannot put down is the chopsticks, and what makes me sink in and cannot get out is the bed.

19. Use all the soy sauce in the world to make others jealous.

20. If you toss a coin, head and go online; if tail, you go to sleep and do your homework. Selection of humorous short sentences

1. If fate grabs you by the neck, then scratch fate’s armpits.

2. After searching for him for thousands of times, I suddenly looked back and that person still looked down upon me.

3. There is a kind of love that makes me indifferent, and a kind of love that makes me unlucky.

4. The best way to sleep in autumn is with a fan blowing and a quilt covering you.

5. Go to today’s class and sleep in yesterday’s sleep!

6. All problems are ultimately a matter of time. All worries are actually asking for trouble.

7. What you say in your heart may be poetry, but if you keep it in your stomach, it will definitely turn into shit.

8. Some people have nothing to do with me even if they die; some people even kill me and I can’t let go.

9. What kind of person you are will give you what kind of expression you want me to do to please you. You are delusional.

10. You can just say sorry or say you were young and frivolous and get rid of all your responsibilities. ;