Looking for jokes that can make my wife happy, not pornographic jokes

1. A man was adventuring alone in the forest and suddenly found himself surrounded by cannibals. So he shouted to the sky: "I'm dead, God, save me!"

I saw a light appear in the sky and a voice came: "Not sure yet, you pick up a big one on the ground again." Stone, smash the leader to death." So he picked up the largest stone on the ground and threw it at the chief, killing the chief. The tribesmen were all stunned for a moment, and then looked at each other angrily. At this time, another voice came from the sky: "Now you are really dead." 2. The old man said: I bought a cup with the words "I want a salary increase" printed on it. ", these words should be directed at the boss every time there is a meeting. Finally one day, the boss also bought a cup with "Get Out" written on it!

3. After Yao Ming retired, his life was very inconvenient due to his height. He looked for doctors everywhere but could not find a solution. One day I met an eminent monk. The eminent monk said that there is a secret recipe that can reduce the height to 1.8 meters after taking it. Yao Ming was overjoyed after hearing this and asked what the recipe was? The eminent monk said: "You are short of oil!"

4. Conversation between two children:

A said: Our whole family likes animals. My mother likes cats, my brother likes dogs, and my sister likes little white rabbits.

B said: What about your father?

A said: I like vixens.

5. Once upon a time, Americans visited Russia. One day I saw two Russian workers on the road in Russia. One was digging holes beside the road with a shovel, and he was digging a hole every three meters. The other worker was immediately backfilling the hole that the previous worker had just dug. The Americans were curious and asked the first Russian worker: "Why did the man behind you fill the hole as soon as you dug it?" Get up? ”

The Russian worker replied: “We are greening the road. I dig holes, the second person plants trees, and the third person fills in the soil. But the second person asked for leave today and didn't come. 』

6. Tomb Sweeping Day is here. Last night my family and I went downstairs to burn paper money to pay homage to our ancestors, leaving my sister to look after the house. As soon as I came back, my sister said to me: "Brother, a few people just talked to you online, and I replied to them all for you!" I was very curious and looked at the message records, and the result... Oh my God, my sister actually gave me Reply: I'm sorry, my brother is gone. Unless I help him burn paper, he can't come up and talk to you...

7. Drinking coffee, a man in a suit sat next to him. When the phone rang, he answered it. Tong Tong complained: "I told you, your order is only one billion, too little, I won't do it." Then hung up. As a businessman, I looked at him with a little respect. Question: "Which company are you the boss of? You don't accept such a big business?" He smiled awkwardly: "I print Ming coins, one million each, and the profit of one billion is only a few dozen yuan, who can do it!"

8. One day the hen flew up to the roof, and the owner said angrily:

“Come down, if you don’t come down I will kill all the roosters here, and your life will be worse than death.”

The hen laughed and said

"

Finally we can go find the duck..."