Is the child a "fetish" because of insecurity, sleeping under a small quilt?

Every child's personality is different and has its own characteristics. But in some ways, it is the same as * * *.

Like fetishism. "Fetishism" in a narrow sense refers to people's obsession with material worship.

Beibei is 3 years old. She holds a toy car all day. She eats and sleeps with it. Beibei's mother wanted to take it away, but Beibei refused to let it go, which was quite strong. Beibei's mother was afraid that she would hurt Beibei if she tried too hard, so she gave up and let him go. It's just that sometimes I have a headache when I watch Beibei cling to the toy car while eating.

The situation encountered by Jianjian's mother is more headache than Beibei's mother. At first, her son Jian Peijun had to sleep with a small quilt. Later, no matter where you go, whether you eat or go out to play, you should bring a small quilt. You won't be happy without it. This small quilt is no better to carry than a toy car. What's with taking it everywhere? Jianjian's mother was tortured by Jianjian, and gradually had a panic attack, and she was a little afraid to take Jianjian out.

Once children are found to be very attached to something, young parents will panic and worry that their children's "fetish" behavior is a disease.

So, why do children fall in love with something? Let's analyze it together.

0 1. Why do children secretly love something? Clinical psychology believes that human fetishism complex belongs to a kind of empathy and an emotional dependence.

In other words, fetishism is not a disease, and young parents need not worry too much. Only when this emotional dependence on "fetishism" develops into a psychological obstacle can it be called "disease".

The reason why children are obsessed with something is actually a lack of security. Especially children aged 2-3, they need a sense of security very much. Hugs and touches from their mothers will give them a sense of security, so that they will not feel afraid. If mom is not around, if there is an object around him all the time to make him feel safe, they will transfer their attachment to mom to this object. This behavior will gradually disappear when you are 4 or 5 years old.

Then if the child's fetish behavior persists or is serious, parents need appropriate intervention, otherwise it will be unfavorable to the child's growth.

02. What effect will a child's fetish have on him? Need to be corrected? ■ Children's fetishism is low and need not be corrected.

Children's common "fetishism" behavior is not a disease, but a response to seeking security. This behavior has no negative effect on him. On the contrary, it will bring him a stable mood when he feels insecure, which is beneficial to his mental health. There is no need to specifically correct this level of fetishism.

■ Children have a high degree of fetishism and must be instructed to correct it.

If the child's fetish behavior does not gradually weaken after 4 to 5 years old, but becomes higher and more exaggerated, it must attract the attention of parents. Children's fetishism is high, and it is easy to develop into mental disorder, and then form a pathological condition. Therefore, this level of "fetishism" behavior must be guided and corrected!

Then, if children have fetishes, how should parents help them move from attachment to independence?

03. How can parents help their children move from "attachment" to "independence" ☆ Give them more care.

The key to children's fetishism lies in their lack of security. Knowing this truth, we can give our children more care and make up the sense of security they need in their hearts, thus gradually weakening their dependence on "goods".

For example, parents can spend more time with their children, give them hugs, caresses and play games with them. These interactions between parents and children are the source of children's sense of security. When they get enough sense of security from their parents, naturally, their attachment to things will weaken.

☆ Refuse to "force" to block children's "fetish" behavior.

It is wrong for children to forcibly take away the "objects" to which they are attached because of insecurity, so as to block their "fetish" behavior. Not only can not achieve the expected results, but it will hurt the child's heart, causing the child's psychological shadow when he was a child, which is not conducive to the child's mental health development. Parents should take a circuitous route to help their children get rid of fetishes.

For example, the problems encountered by healthy mothers can be solved in a gentle and ingenious way. Parents can cut a small piece from this small quilt and sew it on their children. If children often bring dirty clothes, they can sew an extra piece for spare. When the child has a dependence and is emotionally stable, he can slowly help the child correct this behavior.

☆ Prepare several different items for children to divert their attention in time.

Children's fetishism is mostly an attachment to a specific object. Parents should prepare several different items for their children so that they can have different choices. Once a child chooses an item that he doesn't often accompany on weekdays, parents need to divert the child's attention in time to enhance his interest in new items, so as to get rid of his "attachment" to old items.

When a child is interested in a new item, he must not always let the new item accompany him, but should throw out the updated item at an appropriate time to divert the child's attention again. After many times of training and correction, I believe that children will get rid of "attachment" and become independent.

☆ Make a rule for children and let them develop the habit of "independence"

When a child is fetishized, parents should communicate with the child and make a "time" rule and play range for the child. It is stipulated that you can only take "articles" when you sleep, and lock "articles" at the bottom of the box at other times so that children can't get them. If the child is clamoring to play with this "object" during non-sleep time, you can tell him that it is not bedtime to play. If the child insists, you can't refuse the child with a tough attitude. You can tell him gently: well, then go to sleep, and I will bring you what you want safely!

When children are familiar with this rule, they will consciously wait until they go to bed and ask for "items" without parents' emphasis. In this way, no matter what children do, they can change the behavior of carrying "companions" before.

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A child's fetish is not a disease at all, but a sense of insecurity. Not only children, but also many adults have fetish complex. For example, swimming champion Fu always wears that red rope, which is an "object" that can help her relieve stress and feel safe. Parents should guide them in time to prevent them from developing into psychological barriers.