Haiyan, you can grow snacks. Which sketch of Zhao Benshan is this sentence?

"Haiyan, you can eat snacks." This line is from 20 1 1 Zhao Benshan and his disciples Song Xiaobao and Zhao Haiyan performed the sketch "Blind Date" in the Spring Festival Evening of Liaoshi.

Blind date hotline:

Zhao Haiyan: Han, Han, Han, get up.

Zhao Benshan: Huh?

Zhao Haiyan: Don't sleep here.

Zhao Benshan: How?

Zhao Haiyan: Get up.

Zhao Benshan: This is the end of the sun. Divorced for more than a year. Talk to me for the first time.

Zhao Haiyan: Get up and stop sleeping here.

Zhao Benshan: Where will you sleep if you don't put it here, huh?

Zhao Haiyan: Go for a walk.

Zhao Benshan: What are you loitering about?

Zhao Haiyan: What a nice day! Let's go for a walk outside.

Zhao Benshan: Are you okay?

Zhao Haiyan: Heh ~ I want to make friends for our family.

Zhao Benshan: Huh?

Zhao Haiyan: I want to meet a friend at our house.

Zhao Benshan: Friends? What friend?

Zhao Haiyan: My wife.

Zhao Benshan: My wife?

Zhao Haiyan: Hmm.

Zhao Benshan: Yes?

Zhao Haiyan: What ... does this have anything to do with you?

Zhao Benshan: That's all right. It doesn't matter. If you find one, you must be better than me. Or I'll check it for you.

Zhao Haiyan: Er ... People live in a house of more than 1,000 square meters, which is not as good as yours, even though there are 2,000 people.

Zhao Benshan: Great. That's the boss's place. Why did you come the other day?

Zhao Haiyan: Almost there. Don't stop chatting here, let's go.

Zhao Benshan: Then I'll go out first.

Zhao Haiyan: You go out first.

Zhao Benshan: OK, where am I going to hide for a while?

Zhao Haiyan: You (yes) ... Get out.

Zhao Benshan: I agree. You can go out and get married when you talk about it. It's okay, okay?

Zhao Haiyan: You can take whatever you want. Well, it's true. Since I can dance yangko, look at my popularity. Take the initiative to send food and medicine to our family and give me this warm water bag. You take good care of me. This meal was also delivered today. You can think of it as a reward. Go out to eat. Go ahead.

Zhao Benshan: Where can I eat?

Zhao Haiyan: Let's eat there.

Zhao Benshan: Which is the door?

Zhao Haiyan: That's the door over there. You lied to you. Sleep fooled you.

Song: Haiyan, at home. No, open the door, Haiyan.

Zhao Haiyan: It's your fault. I let you out. You said you wouldn't go out. Here we are. We met unexpectedly. Say something.

Zhao Benshan: Are you coming?

Zhao Haiyan: No. Say something.

Zhao Benshan: What should we do?

Zhao Haiyan: If you stay here, you can't get out.

Zhao Benshan: Then I'll go out.

Zhao Haiyan: What do you mean when you go out?

Zhao Benshan: Get out. I said I just finished. No, you can talk.

Zhao Haiyan: I talked about them one by one.

Zhao Benshan: Doesn't that mean you're angry? Are you at a loss? Speak left and right. Does this mean that you are valuable? I'm out. ...

Zhao Haiyan: Forget it. You can't leave here. I can't talk if I bump into you when I go out. No, you can go out the window.

Zhao Benshan: I walked out of the window and left completely. This is the sixth floor.

Zhao Haiyan: Then you can sit here. Then you just sit here and say nothing. What am I talking about?

Zhao Benshan: OK.

Song: Haiyan

Zhao Haiyan: Hey.

Song: Open the door.

Zhao Haiyan: Hey.

Song: Hey, yo, ho, ho, Haiyan ~

(sending flowers)

Zhao Haiyan: What are you talking about at this age?

Song: Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe, e~

(Sitting on Zhao Benshan, I'm afraid again)

Song: God, this scared me to death. Why is there someone here?

Zhao Haiyan: My cousin.

Song: Huh?

Zhao Haiyan: Cousin.

Song: Cousin ~ God, why didn't you inform me in advance when Cousin came ~ I didn't bring a gift, and my hands were empty. (shaking hands) Hello, cousin, I didn't bring a gift.

Zhao Benshan: You didn't? Chocolate sandwich cookies.

Song: Cousin is so humorous, huh, hahaha, e~

Zhao Haiyan: Eh, sit down, sit down.

Song: Is this a quilt?

Zhao Haiyan: My cousin lives here.

Song: How many years have you lived?

Zhao Benshan: I have lived in the back room for twenty years and here for one year.

Zhao Haiyan: That cousin is paralyzed. I have been waiting for him.

Song: Paralysis, ha, er, suffering.

Zhao Haiyan: So what family has guests? Go and boil some water.

Zhao Benshan: Huh?

Zhao Haiyan: It's time to go home. Go and boil water.

Zhao Benshan: Am I paralyzed?

Zhao Haiyan: Aha, I forgot. I'm going to boil water You two are talking about sequelae (to Xiao Song). What are you talking about? You are so depressed, o.

Song: OK, you go and you go.

Zhao Haiyan: (to Zhao Benshan) Don't talk nonsense.

(They look at each other)

Song: hahahahahahahahaha e~

Zhao Benshan: Are you local?

Song: local

Zhao Benshan: He is over 60 years old.

Song: 54, a chicken ~

Zhao Benshan: Fifty-four, then worry more.

Song: Ha ha ha ha, my cousin is really humorous.

Zhao Benshan: You two are incompatible. She is a monkey, 55, and you are a chicken. I don't think you two can do it.

Song: I didn't say that ~ I'm leaving ~ I'm looking at the stars ~ Sagittarius ~ I, Gemini ~ She's Aries ~ The constellation is very close ~ Big Brother ~ What constellation are you ~

Zhao Benshan: I'm on the sofa. I'm paralyzed and I can't go anywhere.

Song: Ah, ha, ha, ha. Let me ask you about the constellation.

Zhao Benshan: I have to sit here whether you are a star or not. I'm paralyzed.

(Haiyan carries water)

Song: This cousin, even if he doesn't understand.

Zhao Haiyan: Here, have some water.

(Zhao Benshan takes it)

Zhao Haiyan: It's for guests.

Zhao Benshan: Ah, let me see if you have made it.

(Take a sip)

Zhao Benshan: The tea is not ready yet. Drink it.

(to Xiao Song)

Song: ...

Zhao Haiyan: This is water for the guests. What did you say you were rushing to drink? Go to that room for a while.

Zhao Benshan: Huh?

Zhao Haiyan: Go to that room.

Zhao Benshan: I'm paralyzed. Why do you always forget? It's okay again

Zhao Haiyan: Well, here you are. Let's go to that house.

(Back room, sitting alone)

Song: Ho, er, ho, er, it's not easy ~ It's not easy to wait for such a paralyzed cousin for more than 20 years ~

Zhao Haiyan: Yes, everyone has to do it in the stands.

Song: Then, whoever stands on it will be terrible.

Zhao Haiyan: Well, let me ask you a question. Actually, I can see it all.

Song: (patting Haiyan) Don't ask blindly, I'm a man ~! You said you guys, whoever caught you asked, whoever caught you asked, these little old ladies kept asking me questions all day, day after day, and now I don't know whether to squat or stand in the toilet, well, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. ...

Song: (seeing Zhao Benshan) e~!

Zhao Haiyan: No, why did you stand up?

Zhao Benshan: What's the matter? I said, you should be careful who you are talking to. Don't talk about your life, but focus on it.

Zhao Haiyan: Hurry back to your room.

Zhao Benshan: You talk, I will continue to be paralyzed.

Song: What's the matter?

Zhao Haiyan: Sequela, it seems that my mind is abnormal.

Song: Ah, hahaha.

Zhao Haiyan: So where do you want to go? I know you are a man.

Song: Look at your fading ~

Zhao Haiyan: I, what do I want to ask you? Since I played yangko, you said that at my door, you gave me food, medicine and a thermos. You know how careful I am, and how considerate you are to take care of me. There is no one but you, a careful person.

Song: Love is always selfless. Haiyan … Haiyan ~ Since you have no other opinion of me, we are all so old. Don't say those useless things. Tomorrow, I will move in and live with us ~

Zhao Benshan: How?

Zhao Haiyan: Why are you here again?

Zhao Benshan: I wonder why you moved here.

Song: I'm moving here. How nice, Jia.

Zhao Benshan: Don't you have a house there? Where will my cousin go?

Song: You, get out.

Zhao Benshan: I move out? You let me live in bridge opening. We all agreed. Don't you have a house of more than 1000 square meters?

Song: My 1000 yuan is too big ~ too big ~ I have to push things back and forth ~

Zhao Benshan: Really?

Song: My house is dusty too.

Zhao Benshan: Really?

Song: Well, it's too difficult to clean up at our age.

Zhao Benshan: Yes.

Song: Cousin, if you don't mind, let's live together.

Zhao Haiyan: The three of us live together.

Song: Yes.

Zhao Benshan: That won't do.

Song: I waited for more than two thousand people, except my cousin. When I come over, Haiyan and I will wait for you, cousin, and I will be alone. (taking pictures of Zhao Benshan) Not bad, hahahahahahahahahaha ~ hahahaha ~

Zhao Benshan: What are you doing? I told you to wait for me for a day, then you can call me away.

Zhao Haiyan: This ... this conversation is over. He didn't say anything about moving here or kicking you out. Why did you come here again?

Zhao Benshan: Let's get to the point. Tell the truth and tell everyone about yourself.

Song: So, so you're married?

Zhao Haiyan: Yes, that was more than 20 years ago.

Song: Do you have children?

Zhao Haiyan: No.

Song: I haven't had children for more than 20 years, because what ~

Zhao Haiyan: Old people can't.

Zhao Benshan: What happened to the old man?

Zhao Haiyan: Why don't you let me say that old people can't? Why can't old people get sick?

Zhao Benshan: What happened to the old man?

Zhao Haiyan: No!

Zhao Benshan: Don't be such a mess. If you are dating someone, say your business is over. Why don't old people regenerate?

Zhao Haiyan: The old man passed away.

Zhao Benshan: The old man died? Died the other day. What?

Zhao Haiyan: Not dead, but living in our hearts forever.

Zhao Benshan: Isn't that dead? Why are you like this?

Zhao Haiyan: Why don't you just ruin my date?

Zhao Benshan: Then the man you are talking about is talking about you, isn't he? This does not mean that you are not allowed to talk about the person you are talking about. Don't bury your old man. Your dad is fine. Besides, what do you mean by not having children? You have children, all children have children, so you are real. If you two get married, just put it down and live a good life.

Zhao Haiyan: I just want to tell him. I am light-handed. I don't have any burden, so I don't have any troubles.

Zhao Benshan: You have no worries. Don't worry about others, right?

Zhao Haiyan: Then I'll tell him everything you mean.

Zhao Benshan: Just tell people what's wrong with you.

Zhao Haiyan: I'm divorced.

Zhao Benshan: Why did you leave?

Zhao Haiyan: Incompatible personality.

Zhao Benshan: Whoosh!

Zhao Haiyan: There are too many questions.

Zhao Benshan: What's the matter?

Zhao Haiyan: Just snore.

Zhao Benshan: Snoring.

Song: It's not a disease.

Zhao Benshan: Do you snore?

Song: I play too.

Zhao Benshan: I don't think you should make any noise in this situation.

Song: e~

Zhao Haiyan: Your snoring is really loud! Look at that snoring! That guy shouted yes! I scared you to death! You wake up as soon as you fall asleep, kick it, stay awake, stare at you and put it there. It's scary like a wake. Didn't you say you were scary?

Zhao Benshan: You can't sleep if you snore here. People will wait for you to sleep here. After falling asleep, don't sleep until dawn. You can't. hello

Zhao Haiyan: What's wrong with me?

Zhao Benshan: You haven't behaved well since this yangko. This guy, who painted like a fairy all day, came back to dance yangko for the first time. The guy's face was painted like he was blindfolded, and he left it at the door. He didn't come into the house as soon as he rang the doorbell. When I looked at it, I thought my mother had come back. Then I burn paper and kowtow to it. Don't worry about anyone. You're not allowed in my door. I just need to go back into the back room and charge me 5 yuan for crossing the bridge. Later, I put this pile of quilts for her, put her to sleep in this room, and put a note on my forehead, saying it was illegal and fined one hundred.

Song: There is no shortage of punishment.

Zhao Benshan: I'm telling you, I'm the only one. If you want to get along well with others and tell them frankly what's wrong with you, then I wish you all the best, right? Just this old man, to be honest, this man is quite nice. People give you send warm's treasure, and then give you this and that. Is it okay for ordinary people? You are the one who can see the truth at a glance.

Song: Is it from me?

Zhao Benshan: Did you send it?

Song: Is it from me?

Zhao Benshan: Did you send it?

Song: Yes, it's not from me.

Zhao Haiyan: Did you send it or not?

Song: Yes, it is. It's not from me. I have told you many times, these two old things.

Zhao Benshan: Do you understand?

Zhao Haiyan: I don't understand. Who the hell sent it?

Song: Is it from me?

Zhao Haiyan: Then you can just throw it away. If you didn't send it, who did?

Zhao Benshan: Who is stupid to send it to you? Who knows you better than me these years? I cook for you every day. I dare not bring it to you for fear that you won't eat it. When you're finished, I'll leave it outside the door. I said someone brought you dinner. This family used to cook, and your chirp …

Zhao Haiyan: No, no. I've been eating that meal all my life. I don't know yet. It smells delicious.

Zhao Benshan: Really, it just doesn't smell good. If you bring it back after dinner, it won't taste good here. Tell me ...

Zhao Haiyan: No, you did. If you are still talking about it, you can say it.

Zhao Benshan: What am I talking about? Do you eat? Don't say I told you to drug yourself. Who knows you better than I do? In addition, you should also pay attention to her bad legs, old cold legs and backache. I will give her a warm baby. In the future, you two have a good life. As long as this house is vacated for me, you can live in his 1000 square meter …

Song: Yes, then you must be her old man.

Zhao Benshan: Did you see that? A fool can see that.

Song: Hmm! (Nodding) I didn't understand until I heard this. Well, what a big brother, Haiyan, you should be careful. This is the person who loves you the most. This is the person who loves you the most. Don't waste time, take me home. You are too fat. I want to tell you that you can't count on my 1000.

Zhao Haiyan: Why?

Song: That's the boiler room of my unit ~

Zhao Haiyan: Then why did you say that you manage more than 2,000 people?

Song: Is it heating?

Zhao Haiyan: You burn the boiler.

Song: Yes.

Zhao Benshan: Do you see that this color doesn't suit you? It's baked.

Song: I see. Burn a small boiler. It's this big. Shake, shake, shake, dang! Popcorn ~ Hehehe, later I changed to burn a big boiler. It turns out that my color is not that dark. What happened? At that time, the boiler was short of coal. Because of the lack of coal in the furnace, I was in a hurry to push coal into the furnace. I pushed a car carrying coal so fast that I didn't stop in front of the furnace. Even I photographed my car in the stove. This is my legs and feet crawling out, baked like this, you say.

Zhao Benshan: OK, then you can have a good life with him. I wish you well, OK?

Song: All right, big brother, don't bless me. I can't compete with you

Zhao Benshan: This guy is very nice.

Song: This man is a good man. I can't compare with my big brother. Haiyan, you should be careful. It is not easy to find such a person. What are you talking about at this age? I said you, did you hear me? You are not stupid. You are not stupid, how stupid, how stupid (on Haiyan)

Song: I won't stay here too long for that big brother, and I can't stay in this room any longer. It's time, so I have to dance yangko. Haiyan, this is your warmest and safest nest. Remember, you are a disgrace. Look at you.

Zhao Benshan: Go and dance the yangko. He's gone.

Zhao Haiyan: No.

Zhao Benshan: No, I will.

Zhao Haiyan: What are you going to do?

Zhao Benshan: I'm paralyzed if I don't complete it. Go practice your eyes.

Zhao Haiyan: Then you can do yangko to exercise.

Zhao Benshan: OK.

Zhao Haiyan: Dead old man, you will move into this house this time.

Zhao Benshan: OK.

Zhao Haiyan: I'll go with you.

Zhao Benshan: OK.

Zhao Haiyan: Go ahead.

Zhao Benshan: OK.