My grandfather doesn’t like me

Every time I see my grandfather taking his grandchildren to early childhood education, I feel envious because I have never enjoyed the love of my ancestors.

When my father was eighteen, my grandma passed away unexpectedly. Grandpa is a live-in son-in-law and has never remarried. Because of historical issues, there is a gap between father and grandfather. Maybe it's for this reason that grandpa never likes me. When I was a child, I always followed my grandfather.

(1) "Popsicles are poisonous"

When I was a child, it was already 20 years ago. In rural areas in the 1990s, there were still very few canteens. Every summer, someone would ride a big bicycle with a big wooden box on the back seat. There was a thick quilt in the box, and soda-flavored popsicles were wrapped in the quilt. Hearing the cry: "I'm selling popsicles, I'm selling popsicles", I quickly ran out of the house and said loudly to my grandfather in the back room: I want to eat popsicles. The man would stop, open the wooden box, and ask me what popsicles I liked. Grandpa came out and said, "This popsicle has poison, so little girls (children) can't eat it." The popsicle seller closed the box and left. My originally bright eyes also dimmed, and I lowered my head and whispered: Why can other children eat it?

Grandpa has always been proud, saying that other people are stupid and children can just cheat, so he has never bought a popsicle for his children.

I always remember the lie that popsicles are poisonous. There have been many summers without popsicles. Later, I learned that popsicles are not poisonous, but lies are.

(2) "I have no money"

One day during the summer vacation in elementary school, I followed my grandfather to the street on a whim. Under the scorching sun, grandpa carried a bamboo basket, and we, one old and one young, walked along the innermost side of the road towards the street. I have a dollar coin in my pocket that my father gave me this morning. When I came to the barber shop, the owner who gave my grandfather a haircut said, "Little girl, let your grandfather buy you delicious food today." I nodded happily. After getting his hair cut, Grandpa went to the deli and bought some pork head meat for his wine and put it in a bamboo basket. Then he will take me home.

I was really thirsty and asked my grandpa if he could buy me a drink. He said, I have no money, go home and drink water. I took out a dollar from my pocket and bought two packs of soy milk.

When my mother came back from get off work, I told her that I went to the street with my grandpa today. She asked grandpa what he bought me, and I said nothing. I bought two packs of soy milk with the one dollar my father gave me. My mother cried and scolded me: "If you dare to go to the street with him again, I will break your legs."

That was the only time I went out with my grandfather. What makes my mother sad is that it’s not that he doesn’t have money, he just needs to buy 50 cents less pork head meat, but he just doesn’t want to. By the way, when my grandfather and I were together, he ate his pork head meat and I ate my soy sauce bibimbap.

(3) "The unpromising talents go to school"

In the college entrance examination in 2009, I passed the first-class score. According to the custom, relatives and friends are invited to have "university wine".

On the day of college drinking, everyone celebrated my admission to college. Only my grandfather said while drinking: "What's the use of going to college? Only those who have no future go to school. Look at that, who graduated from junior high school." Just make money, we still have to spend money, there is a lot of difference between going out and coming in.” I will never forget these words, and I will never forget that scene.

When a classmate was admitted to college, his grandfather always praised his children for their success, but I got a basin of cold water. Because of this, my mother quarreled with my grandfather on the spot. And I, at that moment, suddenly felt that my grandfather had nothing to do with me.

That basin of cold water froze the relationship between us.

Last summer, my grandfather passed away. I got the call from my dad at the gym. I rushed home just to complete the ritual of my role as the eldest granddaughter. The relationship between ancestors and grandchildren is not deep, and the relationship between ancestors and grandchildren has been exhausted.

"Grandpa" is just a personal pronoun for me. Grandpa doesn't like me, and I don't like grandpa either. It's just that when I see other grandfathers doting on their grandchildren, I feel deep envy in my heart.