Whose fault is it that relatives don't kiss? Why is there a "tide of breaking off relatives" in many rural areas?

Don't talk about others. Let me talk about myself. My five sisters, each with unique skills, have settled down in the city, taking advantage of hundreds of thousands or even millions. I am the only farmer waiting for my hometown. So far, we have not been lifted out of poverty and are still struggling on the poverty line. I remember going to my sister's house twenty years ago, and I was unhappy. I really realized that all rich people have distant relatives in the mountains. It was the same after a visit to my sister's house. People often say that you have to kiss for life, and the second and third generations will choke your grandmother. I think the first generation cut off their relatives and never walked by them again. Being poor, it is difficult for the poor to climb the door of the rich. This is destiny. What kind of happiness you are destined to enjoy and what kind of sin you suffer is exactly what this sentence says. People are not ruthless, and social families are unstable. It's all about money. No one is right or wrong. This society is very realistic. Money is willful. Be a relative if you have no money.

As the saying goes, it takes two hands to make a sound. It's not their fault that relatives don't kiss. Both sides have some responsibilities. Speaking of "breaking off relatives", I really feel deeply.

My father and sister are the second of five children: one brother, one brother and two sisters. Only the two of them lost contact a few years ago, so let's not talk about their brother and sister here. In fact, I don't have any good feelings for these two aunts. Listen to me slowly. ...

Let me start with my elder sister-in-law: I didn't have a good relationship with my elder sister-in-law when I was a child. My aunt's house and my elder sister's house are front and back yards. I remember when I was a child, I often lived in my aunt's house, and sometimes I wanted to go to my aunt's backyard to play, but because my uncle's children and my aunt's children were closed, I couldn't get in. I won't talk about my childhood, I'll talk about two years ago: I remember once my aunt and I went fishing in his hometown, and when we passed by her door, we saw her thinking about what to do. No matter how bad it is, it is between them. It never occurred to me that she stopped looking up when she saw me after talking to my aunt. God, what have I done to offend your old man? The relationship between aunt and nephew! Do you need this? No matter how contradictory you adults are, there is no need to do this to the younger generation, right? Since then, we have never spoken to each other on any occasion. ...

Besides, my second aunt: I remember it was my first time to Shanghai. At that time, my second aunt also worked in Shanghai. Because their family has children, it is not convenient to share with others, so they rented a suite by themselves. To tell the truth, their family is not rich, so I just want to go to Shanghai with my uncle's son to find them, which can also reduce their rent pressure. Before we went, my second aunt also told us how much rent we wanted, and they all agreed. When she left. But before they sat down to eat at their home in Shanghai, who wanted to tell us that the rent was going to rise? If you want to go up, it's a big deal

At first, it was ok. There are many people in our village nearby, and it feels good. But after a while, my second aunt said, if you want to eat with us, how much will it cost? I said no, I ate it myself, and my uncle's son also said that he ate it himself, but before long, my uncle's son didn't go to work well, and finally he had no job, so he stayed at home. As for me, I pay my rent on time every month and eat my own food. My uncle's son has no job and the rent has not been paid. People eat together. I'm sure I feel uncomfortable in this situation. Besides, my uncle's son tells me everything. I know I am particularly depressed, but the same aunt and nephew are treated differently.

Soon after that, I moved out to live with people in the village. On the day I moved out, I cried and said to my second aunt, this is my first time in Shanghai. Do you know why I came? I came to Shanghai because my second aunt is here. You keep saying that we are treated equally, but why can he have dinner with you without paying the rent and I can't move out like him? Why should I move out? Is that what you said? Don't worry, I'll move out, okay Do you know that you are not someone else? You are my aunt. Are you really not as close as the villagers? Hehehe ... well, from now on, you are no longer my aunt and I am no longer your nephew. ...

I told my dad afterwards, and my dad was very angry and asked me to go home. My second aunt called my dad to explain that my dad scolded her and my grandparents scolded her. My mother said that if it was my nephew, I wouldn't do this to him myself even if I didn't eat or drink. In a place as big as Shanghai, if you ask him to move out, you move out. What would you do if you didn't know anyone and asked him to have a baby? Since then, my family has never had any contact with my aunt's family.

The only two aunts are gone. My aunt is my father's business, and my second aunt is my business. In fact, I also know that if my grandparents live with my uncle, the two aunts will certainly be kind to his children, but they will get back together, but they can't be treated differently. They say they are all treated the same, but what they can do is quite different. Hey! Forget it, whoever leaves in the world can't live. Let's go home!

Tell me how I feel. I don't want to have more contact with my relatives from this year on.

I have two uncles, six aunts, four aunts, one uncle and two uncles. They are all brothers and sisters of my parents. Before that, my grandmother, aunt and fourth aunt, brother-in-law and others were not very close.

At present, only my parents' children are relatively promising to buy a house in the city, while others are in the countryside. They visit their relatives every year. I brought a good gift to my relatives, but I returned the favor. My husband thinks our relatives here are quite strange, and I didn't think much. I just want to walk more.

Later, my cousins grew up and some got along well. My uncles began to try to show off. They are proud of sucking the children dry, which makes my parents feel bad. They think they raised us for nothing, and so does my uncle. My father is a civil servant, and his social status is very good, much better than their life.

I don't want to visit relatives. On the one hand, it feels unfair. I gave him something as a gift, but people didn't return it. More and more unhappy.

On the other hand, unscrupulous comparison between relatives makes people feel uncomfortable. In short, they are proud of squeezing all the income of their children.

Finally, my mother died of illness last year, and my brothers and sisters just came to visit and say hello like ordinary friends. No one wants to stay and take care of her, let alone help pay for medical expenses. I went home immediately after the visit. So many families.

Now I feel that I should learn to refuse personal contacts between unnecessary relatives. Good relationships will go for a while, but I won't go for a while, because my good life was obtained by myself, not them!

Some relatives don't walk around, but they are quite affectionate! Some of them are close, but they are just a formality! For example, the relationship between my family and my uncle's. 12 years ago, my mother's cerebral infarction finally benefited her blood. At the beginning, in the county hospital, the medical strength was not enough. She went in and out without reaching a conclusion, and finally went to Union Medical College Hospital for treatment. My family is not rich either, so my dad borrowed money from my uncle's house. Later, I heard that my uncle replied to my dad like this: "Is this still cured?" Don't let the last money be spent, I'm not left behind! I'm afraid I can't cure it. "Finally, my mother was cured and didn't borrow a penny from his family! So this incident makes me feel sorry for my uncle's family! One more thing. When I gave birth, my cousin's daughter went to my house for a drink, which was also the first time to come to my house. Gave all the children a red envelope of 100 yuan. After the full moon, take the baby to the full moon, and the mother passes by my uncle's house with her child in her arms. My mother also came around to talk. My mother said, "the baby is full moon, buy me two clothes." "Finally, my aunt paid 5 yuan. When my mother came back, she told me the process. Until my uncle told me that more than 30 years ago, when he was not married, he gave his boss a wedding gift of 20 yuan. The following year, his uncle got married, and his uncle's family returned the gift 10 yuan. Seeing uncle Yao's expression describing the past is also sad for the past! I'm relieved, after all, I was treated like a human being! Don't treat me differently! Now that our cousins are older, the people in the second room and the third room will be closer than the big room.

Relatives are a group that cannot be ignored. Good relatives are of great help to the family, while bad relatives are counterproductive. For better or worse, we always attach great importance to the group of relatives. I am born after 70. I remember when I was a child, my relatives always came and went, and the endless housework was endless. If the two families are far apart, they cry.

Now, I feel that this ethnic group just keeps blood relationship, doesn't like communication, has nothing to say, and some even forget their names and titles. After a generation or two, they become strangers. Relatives don't kiss for three reasons.

First, visiting relatives is no longer a family relationship, but an interest. In the past, the situation of each family was similar, no one kept up with the competition and it was unprofitable. It was natural to communicate with each other, but now relatives have become more utilitarian and defensive.

Second, the gap between rich and poor relatives has widened, and poor relatives have been looked down upon. As the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together. If the gap between rich and poor between relatives widens, there will be cracks. It's better for such rich and poor relatives to break off diplomatic relations. If he can't help you, he still looks down on you.

Third, selfishness and comparison. Some relatives have a bad opinion of other relatives, and if they are superior to him in some ways, they may cause jealousy and dissatisfaction. There is also the comparison between relatives, which is also the chief culprit in alienating family ties.

In fact, relatives are all family members and all have this blood relationship. Stepping on other people's feet will not make you nobler than him, but will show your character more.

In the era of advanced information, the geographical distance is shortened, but the distance between people is lengthened.

When I was busy in the vegetable garden, because there was a cemetery a few hundred meters nearby, Tomb-Sweeping Day, I had to go to the grave on July 15th, the first day of October, and passed by my land in October of the first year. People of all kinds of means of transportation, regardless of rank, nod and greet strangers, stop gently and open the door slowly to talk, and there are elders in their eighties or. Most of the people who stopped at last were my nephews. Before I left, I bought some fresh vegetables for people to give away ... People who are willing to come to my garden are often middle-aged and elderly people aged 60 to 80 from Five Blessingg, as well as middle-aged and elderly people from neighboring villages. Some of my vegetables were learned from them, and there were countless previews of my life. Living in the village is a bit lonely, far less rich than Qiu Ling, and not as rich as going out when Qiu Ling is lonely.

Regardless of rural cities, I think many "broken relatives" are formed. On the one hand, they are all busy and everywhere, on the other hand, people with the same values. Involuntary friendship is not necessarily related by blood.

Nowadays, whether in urban or rural areas, there are indeed cases where relatives are not close, and there is indeed a wave of breaking up relatives. However, this phenomenon has to be analyzed in detail. Some relatives are distant relatives, and some relatives are close relatives. After all, blood relationship is there.

Take our family for example. My mother has seven brothers and sisters, and I have four aunts and two uncles. There are always 20 cousins in our generation. When I was young, I felt that family relations were still relatively good. When the farm is busy, my aunt and uncle will come to my house to help with farm work. Whoever has agricultural products will also send some to other relatives. At that time, I often ate peaches from menstruation's family, apples from menstruation's family, mushrooms from my uncle's family, and my parents gave them watermelons and vegetables. Clothes will also be given to children of the same age. My aunt is the eldest of their brothers and sisters, and her children are naturally the oldest in our generation. When their children got married, we little guys were all at school, that is, our parents gave them gifts, but our unmarried cousins didn't. My uncle is a very clever man and thinks they are the boss. When other children get married, they will only send a gift. If they think that the married child gives another gift, their family will suffer. My great-uncle announced that because there are too many children in our generation, in order not to increase each other's burden, cousins will no longer walk around to give gifts. Since then, that is, the phenomenon that married people no longer visit relatives has formed. To tell the truth, I haven't seen many cousins for more than ten years, and I may not recognize them at the first time. Say not obedient, this also means, for example, parents' generation, after a hundred years, cousins will break off relations.

My father has four brothers and sisters and I have three aunts. My relatives here are all kind-hearted, and they are all walking around in red and white. Last year, my elder sister-in-law's grandson got married, and we all gave gifts, which was twice as much as our generation. This means that not only do we walk among our predecessors, but even the next generation will continue to walk.

At present, relatives are not close to each other in society. Another reason is that there is a big gap between the rich and the poor. They compare with each other, envy each other and look down on each other. Some relatives don't pay back the money and don't meet each other. I feel that the relationship between relatives is not as pure as before. With the improvement of productivity, the degree of interdependence is low, which also leads to the growing alienation between relatives.

This year's Spring Festival, we pay a New Year call to our relatives according to the etiquette. It happened that five or six families met, which was nothing at all. Everyone sat down, chatted with each other and cooked several dishes. Everyone happily ate their stomachs and went home.

The atmosphere of the conversation is ok. On weekdays, I don't have much contact with my brothers and daughters-in-law, because there are old people in our family, which occupies more houses. It has been 30 years since I bought a building in the countryside, and the old house is locked and idle.

After eating, we all went out from our relatives' homes. Because we all took the same road, we could walk to the intersection together and then part, but our brother and daughter-in-law didn't say anything. They would rather pull our nephew over and let him go shopping. We believed it and waited for them stupidly. I didn't expect them to cross the road without even entering the store door and pass us from the other side. If you have nothing to do on weekdays, you can do whatever you want. Family reunion holidays don't even care about digital etiquette. You forgive me at once. After returning home, I originally planned to go to my brother's house to pay a New Year call, but I didn't go. Originally, the two families didn't have much contact on weekdays, but now they have less contact.

Is this the rhythm of breaking up relatives?

There is an old saying in the countryside that brothers settle accounts clearly, and the old man asks the authoritative relatives to separate. If he is not satisfied, he can clearly raise it. When the old man is alive, he acts as a good person. When he dies, it is meaningless to dwell on the past.

It's really tiring to dwell on these past events in life. Better be brothers, don't walk around, don't you think?

Relatives are different from parents and children, so be polite. Poor relatives cannot take the contribution of the rich for granted. Once they don't give alms, they are not used to it. Let me start with my example. My uncle in the countryside over there takes this identity very seriously. In the past, as long as I went back to my hometown in the countryside for the New Year, I would go to my uncle's house to pay New Year greetings and give lucky money to my elders. My uncle hasn't paid New Year greetings to my parents for more than ten years, and my cousin hasn't sent lucky money to my parents. My uncle died, and my other cousin (the son of menstruation) discussed all-inclusive gifts like me, just because I have a little more money than other cousins (Guangzhou has a car and a house, and there are too few menstruation families, so my cousin can't come out. Rural women have a lot of things and always feel that I should have more money. They even returned the gift money to me. A dead bitch scolded me for studying ... my mother quarreled with them. In my impression, it seems that after my grandmother died, it was always at our door that gave money, and my uncle's family was penniless. My mother often says that my uncle can only go in and out, and now my uncle is gone.

The key to breaking off relatives is to do something before breaking off relations. One of my colleagues broke up with my father, my brother and my sister. When my colleague's daughter got married, she discussed that the man would pay 200,000 yuan as a bride price to buy a car and the woman would pay a house with their names on it. As a result, my brother and sister disagreed, saying in front of the man's relatives that his daughter could not get married, and the house was built down, so that his nearly 90-year-old father hanged himself in front of his house with a rope on the wedding day. Because this colleague gave birth to a daughter, his brothers and sisters took it for granted that his family property and everything. Do you think such a kiss should be broken?