Pastry chef, tell me about it.

As for my childhood, my memories are all after school, and the years before school have long been blurred.

Grandma and I are the only ones living at home. Grandma was too old to do heavy work, so she raised a group of chickens, ducks and geese and bought daily necessities by buying eggs. All the land in the house was given to the uncle's family, and some rice noodles were sent back every year, plus all kinds of melons and vegetables planted by grandma, which was barely enough to eat.

I follow my grandmother every day, carrying water, collecting firewood, washing clothes and cooking. ...

Life in the countryside is both boring and interesting. Listen! Xiaoyan, who lives across the hall, stood in front of her house and asked me to go to mulberry bud.

I promised again and again and ran with my backpack on my back, so that I could collect firewood while playing. Xiaoyan raises pigs. How is she? Carrying a backpack and playing with pig grass.

Small purple-black fruit hung on mulberry trees, sour and sweet, is the best fruit in the eyes of rural children. It is also my sweetest memory in spring and summer.

Xiaoyan and I shuttled between tall mulberry trees. Xiaoyan has a crisp voice and a bright smile. Although her clothes are worn out, they are clean. Her mother is very diligent. Every morning, she will carry the clothes that the whole family changed yesterday and go to the river to wash them.

I want to wash my clothes, too, but I have no strength. I usually go to school, so I can't wash clothes every day. I often wear it for a week, but I always feel that I haven't washed it clean on weekends, and I can't hold my head in front of my classmates.

I envy those who live with their parents.

My parents work in a factory in Dongguan, Guangdong. They come back once a year for the Spring Festival and leave in a hurry in a few days. When I come back, I will buy some candy with colorful packages and bring me bright clothes. These things are not common in remote rural areas, and I finally have something to show off in front of my friends. So every year, Chinese New Year is the time I look forward to most.

I am a girl, and everyone in the village laughs at the fact that there is no boy in our family to carry on the family line, so my parents vowed to have a boy.

However, crazy and cruel family planning practitioners rushed in, and all the things, food and things that could be moved were smashed and destroyed. The 9-month-old mother was also taken to the hospital, and her brother was cut into pieces of blood clots.

Our family became the poorest family known far and wide, and was laughed at by people.

Mom and dad went out to work again, but never came back.

Once friendly children began to spit at me and throw stones. Even their best friend Xiaoyan won't talk to me. Her mother said that I was a "money-losing product that my parents didn't want".

Suddenly, I learned how to look at people, bow my head, be silent, avoid crowds and stay away from disputes.

Even if you are bullied, you should bite the bullet and say nothing. Everyone knows that grandma can't drag her old body to uphold justice for me, so I became the target of all bullying.

I began to have resentment, inferiority and cowardice.

Later, I learned that it is possible to get pleasure by venting garbage to people who are weaker than myself.

2

I was born in June+10 in 5438. According to the school regulations, you can't go to school under 7 years old. So, I didn't start school until I was eight years old a month later. In my class, I am a little old.

I like reading, like sitting in a bright classroom, get carried away, immerse myself in the ocean of knowledge and ignore the troubles outside.

I like writing and drawing with my fingers. Those innermost thoughts are presented in front of you, only you can see them and only you can understand them. You don't need pen and ink, you don't need to wipe and alter, you just come and go in your heart, leaving no trace.

Fingers are unconsciously crossed, and those feelings that have not been confided condense into calluses at the fingertips, layer after layer, falling off and growing new ones.

The peaceful dream was still broken because I gave birth to a child. When primary school is about to graduate, in the classroom, in the classroom, in the sixth grade, 13 years old in the spring. Before the cold passed, I was sweating with pain and fainted.

I didn't know I had a boy until I woke up. Teachers and doctors have asked me, who is the father of the child?

I don't understand. I don't know how to answer.

Later, they asked me one after another, who took off my clothes, touched my body with their hands and kissed my body with their mouths?

Oh, I know.

It's a math teacher.

His home is on his way to school every day, ten minutes away from school. In a big yard, in a fence made of roses and kapok, there are two extremely fierce German shepherds, and every time they pass by, they are frightening. His wife works in a big hospital in the city and doesn't come back often.

The math teacher is in her forties. He is short and fat with a Zhang Yuanyuan face. He comes over every day and never speaks loudly. He is friendly to students. When he is alone at home, he often invites students to his home to make up lessons, eat and sleep. The students all like him very much.

Then I was sent home with the children. Grandma put it on the roadside at the entrance of the village that day, and I don't know who picked it up. There are still many families willing to raise boys.

Grandma cooks me a bowl of eggs and brown sugar water every day. In her worried sigh, I am still ignorant.

After staying at home for half a month, people come home in an endless stream every day. They are full of curiosity, but I don't know how to answer their questions.

Grandma thinks I can't stay in the village, but I can't contact my parents. My uncle's cousin just came back to apply for an ID card, and my grandmother asked me to go out to work with my cousin.

three

In this way, I followed my cousin and changed buses, trains and buses all the way to Dongguan, Guangdong.

Fortunately, the factory provides food, shelter and work clothes, so you don't have to be displaced or worry about food and clothing.

My cousin and I work in this factory. Without skills, I cut threads in a clothing factory. Get up at 6 o'clock every morning and call it a night 10. Busy and fulfilling days pass by day, which is the least troublesome time and the least troublesome age.

You can get 1285 yuan every month when you first enter. Cousin will take care of it, part of it will be for living expenses, and part of it will be sent back to my hometown for grandma. This is my request. I don't want to give my parents money. They never raised me, and I'm not going to raise them.

Cousin's salary is higher than mine, because she has worked in this factory for three years and can get 1985 yuan a month, but most of them are borrowed by boyfriends for various reasons.

That man's cousin has known her for 3 years, and she is very sweet. Cousins who are often coaxed all laugh.

Occasionally, I will take my cousin out to dinner, and of course, my cousin will pay the bill in the end.

After my cousin's third miscarriage, the doctor said that if she miscarried again, she would not be able to have children. Cousin forced her boyfriend to get married, otherwise it would make him unable to work, and her boyfriend agreed. So my cousin went back to her boyfriend's hometown to get married with the saved 20 thousand yuan and never came back.

Later, I heard from fellow villagers who also came to work in the village that my cousin was not married. When I arrived at his home, I realized that he was married and had a pair of children.

However, 20,000 yuan has been given out for the so-called wedding, and the penniless cousin ran away in confusion with the laughter of the villagers.

Stay all the way to get the car, walk and come home tired.

But he didn't even enter the house, so he jumped into the deep well under the big locust tree at the entrance of the village.

But he's not dead. The villagers saw him and fished him up.

Uncle Niang cried and called her to take her cousin home, and her cousin went crazy from then on. When confused, screaming and crying, hysterical; When she was awake, she told everyone about her tragic experience. This is the world. Who can do justice for her? Who can avenge her?

One of our female dormitory workers felt the terrible future, and some decided not to have boyfriends. Some people say that if you want to pay, you can't be cheated by money. They just try their best to ask men for money and never spend a penny.

After all, it hasn't happened to me yet. After sighing, I continued to repeat my life at two o'clock and one line every day.

four

The days passed quietly and quickly. I have been in this factory for two years.

Suddenly, the government banned the use of child labor, and a group of us were driven out, holding big bags and small bags and shivering under the street lights on the street corner. Watching cars come and go, roaring past, but full of sadness and helplessness, I don't know where to go.

Aunt Yang, the housekeeper of the factory, passed by and saw our pity. She took seven girls to her house and said that she would stay for one night first and then find jobs for us tomorrow.

She said that people can live if they live, and everyone in this world has their own position, although there are good and bad points. Our youth is the greatest capital. So don't be afraid at all.

The next night, Yang Yi came back with a woman with heavy makeup. Let's call her Sister Wang. Take us out for dinner after a hungry day. At the dinner table, we were introduced to Sister Wang, who was originally from do miss.

Yes, we are all minors, without ID cards, no one to take us in, leaving the factory and nowhere to go. No education, no diploma, no skills, no help, no place to stand. Only a young and beautiful body, what else can you do besides doing this?

We followed Sister Wang to a new world, dark, damp and decadent, always full of red, green and dying light and shadow. Life here is lazy, decadent, dissolute and unrestrained.

We stay here during the day and go out at night. After three days of emergency training, we can go to work. This industry is always short of people.

I only studied smoking and drinking here for a few days. Make up quickly, put on a fake smile on your face, twist your waist and hips, and see you off. The environment makes people grow.

Here, there are many ambitious women, but few people can put them into action and succeed.

Here, women don't need to think, walking is the best state.

When a guest with a bad temper or a bad mood vents his emotions, he will get two slaps, swallow blood foam and saliva, coat his face with two layers of powder, and raise a smiling face. There are new customers coming to our house. Not every customer is hateful.

Just like as a woman, the biggest difficulty is contraception. After three pregnancies and induced abortion, I won't be pregnant again because of bleeding and infection. It doesn't matter, there will be no more pain caused by the uterus. Even now, let alone No Country for Old Men.

Smoking and drinking all the year round, living upside down day and night for too long. The skin is dull and the eyes are black, which overdraws the body and health.

As we all know, this is a bowl of youth rice, and people will be mercilessly abandoned when they are old. The experience of countless predecessors tells us that we should find another way before it is too late. Therefore, once most people reach marriageable age, no matter good or bad, they will find someone to marry.

I also know that no one can be trusted, only I can rely on myself. But what can I do? I am still confused!

When I buy cigarettes, I often stand in front of the newsstand and read the daily newspaper. The faster the society develops, the more I know, the more I feel inferior.

five

I think I need to plan my future well, change my place, change my identity, forget everything and start over.

Men, marriage, family and children are unreliable, and they can only rely on themselves. To have your own house and career, this is the capital to settle down.

First of all, I need to learn a skill to ensure that I can make money here and live outside.

So, take time out every afternoon and spend money on cooking training classes. After all, three meals a day is inevitable for everyone.

At the age of 20, I went back to my hometown to get an ID card. Giving an elderly grandmother a sum of money is still afraid to stay in the face of the strange eyes of the villagers.

With the ID card, you can face the police inspection and go to the outside world. I left the red light district, moved to the downtown village where migrant workers gathered, and successfully applied for a job as a pastry chef in a restaurant.

The houses here are in disorder and crisscross like cobwebs. The only color is advertising leaflets, unlike newspaper or TV advertisements, which are illustrated and lengthy. These advertisements for making friends, abortion, surrogacy, selling eggs and treating sexually transmitted diseases posted on telephone poles and everywhere on the wall are just a simple and rude telephone number, which costs nothing to advertise, but makes people flock to it.

The people who live here are basically migrant workers from all over the world. They have no education, no skills, no moral cultivation, and can only do the lowest manual labor. Eating enough and wearing warm clothes is a high pursuit. Who cares about the rest?

And living in such an environment makes me feel like a duck to water, because it is full of the same kind of breath and makes me feel safe.

22 years old, young and beautiful enough, with a clear temperament. Concealed all kinds of unbearable experiences in the past, gentle, virtuous and considerate, and quickly won the welcome of colleagues and neighbors.

Knowing that I was unmarried, I was introduced to people one after another. I don't want to live a wandering life anymore. I must find a man with a house and a business.

The 45-year-old local is alone. He lost his wife and children in a car accident and never got married again. Chef, gentle personality. I inherited a small restaurant in my family. I like his fat body, which means I can eat enough. I will be full in the future, even if it is all fat.

He also has two old buildings. Although they are worn out, I fell in love with them after only one visit. The eighth floor, what a lucky number. This house will belong to me in the future.

The old house has a rotten side. Cockroaches and mice get together to build private balconies. After discovering that the balcony was unsafe, this crumbling balcony railing took root in my heart and lingered.

Then in windy weather, put light clothes on it.

Watching him step on the edge of the balcony, with clothes in his hand, his fat body rolled downstairs against the railing.

With a scream, I opened the door and rushed downstairs.

At this time, he spread out in the flower bed, and his fat body was bleeding with bright red blood intermittently, nourishing the flowers and plants under him, and stopped instantly from fresh face to fuzzy face.

Ambulances and police cars are one after another, and people are hopeless. Send it directly to the funeral home.

Everyone shook their heads and sighed. Life is so fragile.

After a hectic funeral, I stood in my house, took a long breath, half-squinted and looked around. There are too many things, but they can all be thrown away. Just like all kinds of people and things in the past, clean them all up. The future is blank, let me write it myself.

At the age of 24, I came to Dongguan, Guangdong for 10, and finally got my own house and restaurant. What you can really grasp is your own capital in order to settle down.

However, I will live here before long. Soon, with the arrival of the demolition team, this place will be in ruins. Old things disappear, new high-rise buildings rise, there will be flowers, new people and new stories.

Twenty-four years of life and wandering constitute the first half of my life and the starting point of the second half of my life. The rest of my life is still long, but I have enough experience to deal with it.