Humorous jokes of teachers and students in the classroom

There are always many funny jokes between teachers and students. Here I bring you humorous jokes from teachers and students in the classroom. I hope you will like them.

Humorous jokes of teachers and students in the classroom

1, 1 times

It's winter, and the teacher is wearing a woolen coat and leaning back against the warm fireplace, lecturing the whole class:

? Children, every time you want to speak, you must think twice. You'd better count it 5 times first, and you can't go wrong. If it's important, you'd better count it 1 times. That's even better. Do you know? Students! ?

At this time, all the pupils in the class were busy, scrambling to read: 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99. Just after reading

1, everyone cried in unison:

? Teacher, your coat is on fire! ?

the teacher is nervous: Why didn't you say so earlier?

　? This is an important thing. Let's count it 1 times first. ?

2. What is the heaviest object

In physics class, the teacher asked:? What is the heaviest object?

Dongdong stood up and spoke: Report, our grandfather is the heaviest! ?

　? Your grandfather? The teacher was surprised.

　? Yes, when my father wrote a letter, he called him? Mount Tai? ! ?

3. That's right.

The teacher pointed to what was written on the blackboard? Confused? Say: Bill Han, tell me the meaning of this idiom. ?

Bill Han stood up, pushed the high myopia glasses on the bridge of his nose, looked at the blackboard carefully for a while, and said helplessly. I can't see clearly. ?

teacher:? Bill Han is right, please sit down. ?

4. Sleep

Teacher:? You're not here to sleep! ?

student:? You didn't come here to hypnotize! ?

humorous jokes

1. I met a man on a dating website and had a good conversation, but I was too fat to meet him.

a man called:? Why do you care so much about your body shape? I like your people, even if you weigh 18 pounds, you are my woman. ?

I am happy to say: Since you guessed right at once, let's meet, hello? Hello? Hello ...?

2. The couple were lying in bed and quarreling. Wife: You, get out of here? My husband didn't dare to say anything, so he consciously picked up the pillow and slept at the end of the bed? After a while, my wife also slept at the end of the bed. Husband: Wife? It is said that husband and wife quarrel at the head of the bed, and at the end of the bed, you came to make up. Wife: with your mother's head? Burying his face, the husband said, If it's not good, then why did you sleep over? Honey, Nima, do you want to smoke me to death with your smelly feet?

3. When quarreling with my girlfriend, she just kept eating the ice cream in her hand without saying a word. Five minutes later, this fellow picked up the ice cream box and put a lid on my head and said, If I hadn't seen this delicious ice cream, would he have dumped you? . Can I still get this kind of female ticket? More exciting, add me to WeChat 857535

4. My female boss scolded me for my work status, and I always bowed my head and said nothing.

This reaction may have angered her. She changed her calm tone and growled:? Why don't you talk? You don't accept it! ?

I explained: No, my girlfriend won't let me talk to beautiful women! ?

5. In the morning, I saw a big brother dragging an iron chain. I was curious and asked him: Brother, why are you dragging a chain?

Big Brother frowned, turned to look at the chain and said? Fuck, where's my dog! ?

6. I'm a courier, the girl who lives on the 7th floor of No.2 compound. You have always indicated on the list that I am pregnant, please deliver the goods at home. I've been delivering goods to your door for two years, and I just want to ask: Are you pregnant with Nezha? !

7. My mobile phone rang, but it was my ex-girlfriend. I just looked at the screen. As soon as the bell disappears, turn off the phone immediately, take out the mobile phone card, find out the Nokia used two years ago and put it in, and send a text message to her: Call again if you don't hear it. A moment later, she did call. I suddenly grabbed my mobile phone and yelled at her: How dare you call! Then smash the phone to pieces with all your strength! I feel cool in an instant. . .

8. Recently, a female colleague got involved with me. My screen name was changed to? Your majesty? , she changed to? Empress dowager? , I changed to? Win politics? , she changed to? Zhao Ji? Nima, always a generation older than me, today I thought of a unique and decisive change? The Monkey King? See how she fucking changes it? Just after dinner, I logged in and saw that her uncle's name was changed to? Stone seam? .

the stupid things we did in those years made our stomachs ache with laughter!

1. My boyfriend has a problem with his feet. The doctor said that he might be lame when he is old. I am afraid that he will be sad? I'll be your wheelchair in the future? He's in a hurry? Shit, I'm lame. Are you still in my wheelchair? Me? ......?

2. I study Chinese language and literature, and the teacher told us that Hu and Fu in Min dialect are indistinguishable. . . . I just want to know how they pronounce the name of American President Hoover when they study history.

3. The worst way I have ever seen to express my love is to set off firecrackers under the dormitory at six in the morning.

4. Just now, I went to the bathhouse to take a bath, and I saw a young man and the master who rubbed the bath get into work. The young man said while fighting: I spend 35 yuan on a tattooed tiger, so you rub off a head abruptly for me. . .

5. I met a psycho shop and there was an advertisement on the radio? You can't buy two dollars, you can't be fooled by two dollars, you can't buy anything with two dollars, and the audience sells five dollars! Five dollars for the whole audience! ? The most basic trust between people!

6. You are naked in the sun in the south, and I am wrapped in mink on the kang in the north.

7. The first time I went to my second aunt's house in the country, I was about seven or eight years old. I showed Leng Yan in a city girl everywhere. When I saw a big pot of corn and potatoes boiled on the stove, I scooped up a spoonful and drank it. I thought it was delicious, but in order to pretend to be arrogant, I read a line from a TV series that I was pampered. Hum! It's just for pigs! ? The second aunt beside her was silent for a few seconds and said, This is

8. I remember that it was a bitter winter, and I didn't want to go to class in the morning, so I asked my roommate to help me ask for leave, and I just found a reason. Soon the news of my heatstroke spread all over the campus?

9. When I was in the fifth grade of primary school, I wrote the whole class in my life and death book, and my classmates found it and reported it to the teacher. Read their life span in front of the class. I'll never forget the way they looked at me.