How to Be a Good Psychological Counseling Teacher in Middle School

In the process of psychological counseling, the first stage is to establish a good counseling relationship. A good consultation relationship means that there is a specific interpersonal relationship between the counselor and the visitor, which is the premise of effective consultation. Establishing a harmonious consulting relationship requires the joint efforts of consultants and clients, but consultants undoubtedly play a decisive role in it.

But in school mental health education, psychological counseling teachers are often not full-time, but teachers with other teaching tasks. At this time, it is actually a violation of one of the professional ethics of psychological counseling: psychological counselors should not form a dual relationship with clients and should not engage in exchanges with clients outside their professional relationships. However, due to objective reasons such as the immature development of mental health education in schools in China and the lack of professional talents, this contradiction cannot be solved in a short time.

In school psychological counseling, counselors are often divided into two roles, both as counselors and as subject teachers of clients. These two different roles often affect the establishment of consulting relationship. As a full-time consultant, he didn't get in touch with the client until he accepted the case consultation, that is to say, before that, they were strangers and the client didn't know much about the consultant. The consultant could gain the trust of the client in a short time by virtue of his professional skills and establish a good consulting relationship. However, in school psychological counseling, the relationship between teachers and students already exists before the parties establish a counseling relationship with psychological counselors, and the parties will directly or indirectly contact or understand psychological counselors. At this time, the parties' daily impression of the counselor will directly affect the establishment of the counseling relationship. On the one hand, it will hinder the establishment of a good consulting relationship. For example, if the client feels pressure in learning and the consultant is a famous teacher Yan in teaching, then if the consultant wants to consult for the client, the client will subconsciously resist, so the establishment of the consulting relationship will inevitably be hindered; On the other hand, it can promote the establishment of a good consulting relationship. For example, if the consultant makes the client feel that he is faithful in the teaching process, then the client will trust the consultant more easily, which will help to establish a good consulting relationship.

So how can we mobilize the favorable factors in this contradiction and minimize the adverse effects? This is indeed a big issue we are facing at present. As a political teacher and one of the psychological counseling teachers in our school, I have the following experiences during the year when my teaching and counseling work were carried out at the same time:

First of all, make clear your image positioning and design.

When it comes to political teachers, people already have an image in their minds-rigid, serious and boring; When it comes to psychological counselors, people see a gentle, hopeful and caring angel. Due to the long-term experience and the influence of social culture, a completely different image has been formed between political teachers and psychological counselors. Only then did I understand that in front of students, there must be a unique teacher image of their own. Therefore, from the moment I set foot on my job, I have a clear position on my teacher image-a new teacher with knowledge, vitality, love and tolerance. With a clear orientation, we attach great importance to establishing this image in our daily behavior and teaching process. In class, I use vivid and rich language and examples to interpret the boring content of textbooks. I can use Chinese, history, physics, chemistry, mathematics and other subjects to explain political knowledge. I have also become an "expected" teacher in students' minds, which is very helpful for me to establish a good personal help relationship in consultation, because students believe that I have the ability to help them learn well and will further expand to help them solve other problems.

There is love, so that children can feel warm and safe from me; Full of energy, it has narrowed the distance between me and my children, shortened the "generation gap" and made my children feel that they have something to say to me; Be tolerant, so that students feel that I am right, not people, because every time they make mistakes, they and I will not look down on them or dislike them because of their mistakes, so that children have the courage to expose their shortcomings or mistakes and injuries in front of me. After class, I will take the initiative to communicate with students, although sometimes it is just a greeting in the corridor, a greeting, or a few jokes when waiting in the toilet, talking about stars, pop songs, video games and so on. Although it was not a very in-depth conversation, it was enough to let me know their preferences and feelings at that time, which I will keep in mind silently. These are all useful materials when you need to establish a consulting relationship. I remember once, there was a naughty student. He is always laughing. He was still fooling around that day and bullying his classmates everywhere, but I found that his smile and eyes were often different. I went over and asked him gently, "What's the matter? In a bad mood today? " At that moment, he was surprised and asked, "Teacher, how did you tell?" Later, he told me that he made love to a girl at noon and was rejected. In this way, I consulted him. I can quickly and accurately judge his mood at that time, see what others can't see, and establish a good consulting relationship in a very short time, just because I have the usual observation and understanding of students, which is an advantage of part-time consultants.

Second, be good at observing and thinking positively.

The second advantage of part-time consultants is that they have similar living environment with clients. Part-time consultants and clients are in the same campus, and they are familiar with school rules and regulations, school environment, school teaching methods, teaching process, activities and so on. Therefore, as long as they open their eyes and make positive reasoning and thinking, it will be of great help to gain the trust of the parties in a short time. Once, when I was in class, it was empty. When I went to the toilet, I found a girl in grade three crying in the toilet. I looked at her, probably because the problem was her hair, because the school leaders checked gfd at the school gate that morning, and all the girls with long hair had to tie it up, otherwise they had to take pictures, take pictures of the illegal places and post them on the bulletin board. That girl's hair is neither long nor short, it should be the kind that can't be tied up, and it is also an infringement. According to the regulations of our school, what happened to her can be imagined. I went over and put her hair behind her ear. She looked up at me. I said to her, "Did you forget your clip this morning?" At this time, she cried even more. As far as I know, she is a student in a key class, so I guess she didn't intentionally violate the rules. From her reaction, I knew I was right. I went on to say, "Are you nervous about studying in grade three?" When there is pressure, it is normal that the details of life are not noticed. "At this time, she was no longer silent. She thought their head teacher was aiming at her, because she was transferred from an ordinary class to a key class. She always knew that the head teacher looked down on her. In order not to delay her studies, she endured it until the last straw, because her hair was driven out of the classroom. She is resentful and distressed, afraid of delaying her studies. In the establishment of this consulting relationship, my success lies in that I can link the observed phenomenon with the rules and regulations of our school in time, find the breakthrough point quickly and accurately, and find the key to open the girl's heart. Third, adhere to the principle of confidentiality.

Respecting the personal wishes and privacy of the parties is a professional ethics that both full-time consultants and part-time consultants must follow. I think, as a part-time school counselor, adhering to the principle of confidentiality is a necessary condition for establishing a good counseling relationship. At night or on weekends, I will communicate with students through the internet. They are on QQ, so I give them a space so that they can talk to me. At the same time, they don't need to let me know which class they are in and who they are. Therefore, on QQ, they will speak freely. I can know their dissatisfaction with a teacher, their dissatisfaction with some school systems, their confusion and yearning for something in society, and even their "love" problem. I have mastered their ideological trends and a lot of "intelligence". If I don't handle it well at this time, my prestige and the trust of my students will be destroyed. I

I will analyze their problems through QQ, try my best to change their cognitive bias, clarify their confusion and give them some guidance as much as I can. I won't tell the class teacher or the school leader easily. If I find a bad tendency and have a great influence, I will explain the situation to the relevant teachers without exposing the students' information. There are some bad tendencies, bad atmosphere is breeding and so on. Try not to lose confidence in students or delay the situation. At school, teachers often see children say something mindless to me, and I just smile knowingly because I know the "secret" in their hearts.

In addition, I think we should also pay attention to the fact that part-time counselors are all half-way monks, that is to say, they first serve as subject teachers and then receive training to become school psychological counselors. Then, when selecting teachers as school psychological counselors, schools must choose teachers that students trust and are willing to approach. Some teachers have high prestige among students, but students stay away from them. I don't think this kind of teacher is suitable for the training of school psychological counselors. The above is my experience on how to establish a good helping relationship in the process of psychological counseling in my actual work. Generally speaking, as a part-time psychological counselor, we must take a long-term view, because the relationship between the counselor and the client appeared long before the establishment of the counseling relationship, and did not end at the end of the counseling. Therefore, we must pay attention to the combination of our psychological knowledge, students' emotion and teaching behavior, so as to better divide and decorate these two roles.

How to establish a good mutual assistance relationship in students' psychological counseling? Psychological consultation means that professionals use psychology and related knowledge, follow psychological principles and help clients solve psychological problems through various techniques and methods. Its consulting relationship is the relationship between "seeking" and "helping"; The problems they help solve can only be psychological problems, or behavioral problems caused by psychological problems. Professionals do not help clients solve any specific problems in their lives. Psychological counseling mainly depends on whether counselors and visitors can establish a relationship of mutual trust and cooperation. The establishment of this relationship will help the visitor to participate in the consultation process, be willing to speak his psychological words, even his privacy, and believe that he can change his will and resolutely cooperate. Therefore, it is very important to establish and maintain a good relationship in the consultation process. For school psychologists or class teachers, in order to establish a good helping relationship, so that visiting students can freely express their feelings and correct distorted, defensive or exclusive feelings, they should pay attention to the confidentiality of consulting information and treat visiting students with a gentle, respectful and sincere attitude: First, do a good job in information confidentiality of visiting students. Before the lecture, it is necessary for the school psychological counseling teacher to clarify the confidentiality issue to the visiting students. Explain the necessary records in the consultation process, make a positive commitment to the confidentiality and respect of content and privacy, eliminate students' vigilance and gain a sense of security, thus ensuring students' self-exploration. Because the interpersonal relationship in consultation is not based on the standpoint of social communication, but on a specific environment and time, it is hidden and confidential. However, the intimacy and depth of this relationship exceed the general social friendship relationship, because this relationship is carefully established without any threat, so it is extremely important to create a safe and trusting atmosphere for students and make them feel safe. For example, generally without the permission of the students or the law does not allow, not revealing will expose the secrets of the students; When conducting case discussion, teaching quotation, scientific research writing and activity exchange due to professional needs, students' names, addresses, telephone numbers and other personalized information that can identify specific individuals must be hidden, and so on. The secret that old historical photos can't tell: Cixi warlord, the Cultural Revolution in the late Ming and early Qing Dynasties, and the late Qing Dynasty. 2. Treat the visiting students warmly, kindly and gently. School counselors can make use of the school's existing audio-visual equipment, such as radio, television, blackboard newspapers, etc. to carry out extensive publicity, and then carry out psychological lectures and other forms of activities. Let the students know that some psychological problems of middle school students are normal, and those without any psychological problems are abnormal. Let students voluntarily receive psychological counseling when they have psychological problems. During the conversation, visitors often feel nervous and embarrassed, so the attitude of psychological counseling teachers will have a great impact on their psychology. A warm and friendly attitude gives people a sense of intimacy and can effectively narrow the distance between the two sides. We should show great enthusiasm for the inner problems that visitors talk about, whether they are standard problems or new problems. We should take pains and patiently listen to the statements of problems and treat them as novel and unique problems. When students have questions, talk to them with a gentle attitude and analyze the specific problems. Everything is attributable. It is not enough to talk with students about reason, nor can it solve practical problems. Find out the reason and prescribe the right medicine. Second, respect visiting students. People are eager to be respected by others in their hearts, but only by respecting others can they win their respect. Respecting others is a noble virtue and an external expression of one's inner cultivation. Respecting others is a good expression of one's ideological accomplishment, a civilized social way, and the cornerstone of smooth work and good social relations. It is very important to respect the students who come to consult, which is very important to establish a good helping relationship. It is great courage for students to come to consult, which also shows that they have realized their "shortcomings" and want to reform. Therefore, as a psychological counseling teacher, we should express or pass it on to visiting students through language, and give respect and emotional acceptance to the counseling students. Accepting him is beneficial to his own expression and can enhance his confidence in correcting "shortcomings" No matter what attitude and feelings students have, whether they are positive or negative, they can be accepted as consulting teachers. They should listen to students' opinions calmly, calmly and gently, and give them timely encouragement, such as "Oh", "Well", "So that's it" and "Is it so?" Equal word. Fourth, accept the visiting students sincerely, treat them sincerely and honestly, touch others from the bottom of my heart, and finally gain their trust. Sincere eyes are clear, voice is sweet, attitude is gentle, behavior is calm and elegant. Therefore, sincerity and permanence are the foundation of doing things and the key to being a man. In the process of psychological counseling, psychological counseling teachers should not hide themselves, wear masks, play fake roles, or complete routine tasks, but devote themselves to the relationship with help seekers with a sincere and credible attitude. Sincerity sets a very good example for visiting students, which can make them trust you sincerely, make students feel that you are helping him, and make them believe that the teacher can help him solve some problems. And tell the visiting students what help and services the teacher can provide. Let him (her) express his/her thoughts and opinions. Maintain "empathy" with visiting students. Psychological counseling teachers put themselves in the client's position and situation, trying to feel his joys and sorrows, understand the pressure he faces, understand his situation, enter his emotional and ideological fields, see the world with eyes, experience the world with feelings and think about the world with thoughts. When teachers put themselves in their own subjective position, their understanding of empathy will often appear naturally. But counselors should pay attention to distinguish between empathy and sympathy. Because when a person is in distress and pain, what he needs is empathy, not sympathy and pity. At this time, it is easy to have some misunderstandings, thinking that the client is eager for the sympathy of the counselor, but it is not, because when the client seeks help from others, his self-image will usually be low during that time, and he will often be overly sensitive and afraid that others will despise him. If we are psychological counselors, we have a sympathetic attitude towards visitors, which will not be conducive to the counseling relationship.