What would you do if I wasn't provoked by emotions that day?

At the age of 18, you have entered the university with a vision. This is the first time you have left your parents and started to live alone. You are dazzled by the recruitment of various clubs. Finally, you can let go of the pressure of the college entrance examination and have more opportunities to do what you like. A beautiful life is about to begin, and you secretly think.

at the age of 19, at the new orientation party, you were just bored to see it, but you accidentally found a girl performing on the stage, obviously a group dance, but your eyes seemed to only accommodate the next person. At this moment, you seemed to see a meteor, as if the lights on the stage were dim. Then I seem to hear my roommate say it's boring, go back and open it. You nodded and walked to the dormitory, but when you came to your senses and looked back, it was already the next program.

a few days later, you decide to join the dance club, even if you don't like it that much, it's a way to get to know her. After months of getting along, your relationship is getting better and better. Finally, you confess that you think she is the person you will protect all your life. When she knew that you first noticed her at the orientation party, she was surprised and said, at that time, all the girls around her were more beautiful than her, so why did you only notice her? You said with a smirk, the moment you saw her, your brain went blank, your voice was not real, and the lights seemed dim. She smiled and lowered her head and said, you really know how to make girls happy. Just as she didn't know what you said was true, you didn't notice that she was not so confident.

21-year-old, you've been together for almost two years. Although it's inevitable that you have some bumps, your relationship is ok. The only thing that bothers you is that she has a little too many constraints on you. Tomorrow is the internship. Although you are not internship in the same city, you decided to have a happy day together. At the dinner table, she wants you to video with her every day, and you can't like other girls just because she's not around. You laughed and said she was stupid, and you promised.

After a month's internship, you will video with her every day, telling each other about their troubles. You will occasionally go to each other's cities to meet each other, and you are full of happiness when you are tired.

After three months of internship, you are overwhelmed by the pressure of work. You have no patience to listen to her troubles. Every time you can't say a few words in the video, you hang up in a hurry. You don't know why, but you just want to be alone for a while.

After five months' internship, you've had a hard time these two months. She always thinks that you like someone else. At first, you were able to explain that your work was not satisfactory, but she always didn't believe you. If you explain too much, you won't bother to explain. Anyway, I can go back to school in a month. It's annoying enough now. We'll talk about it then. Think like this.

The internship will be over in half a month. During this half a month, you have little communication. Suddenly, today, she tells you to break up. You think she's just messing around, just teasing. But I didn't think she was serious. At this moment, you finally panicked, and immediately called the boss to ask for leave. You want to go to her right away. But the boss is always so unkind that he hangs up the phone. You want to go to TMD, and I will go if you are not allowed to take a vacation. It seems that this moment is not so important.

You came to her city by train overnight, and you prayed all the way that she was just making trouble, but this time it doesn't seem so simple. You are always a little uneasy but unwilling to believe it.

You waited for two hours in the downstairs where she rented. You noticed that another man was waiting downstairs, with breakfast in his hand. It looked familiar, as if she had told you that a senior two years older than you had been pursuing her. At that time, you didn't take it to heart, so you weren't sure if he was alone.

She went downstairs and went straight to the man. You didn't hear what she said. You only saw her shy smile, but didn't see her red and swollen eyes. At this moment, although you don't want to believe it, you have thought about this situation, haven't you? In my imagination, you walk over with a smile, hold her hand and tell her softly, I'm sorry, it was my fault before. She threw herself in your arms and cried, and then you made up. The reality, however, is that you forgot all about what you rehearsed for countless times this night. You rushed up angrily and asked loudly who he was and why you did this to me. She didn't expect you to come. She thought you didn't love her anymore, and she had never seen you like this. She didn't know what to say. She just cried. You stubbornly questioned, and then think of the internship certificate you gave up. You think you are the most wronged person in the world. Why did she cry like a wronged chaste and heroic woman, and she didn't consciously say her vicious words? The only response to you is that you have no idea what I want and broke up with us.

At this point, you still don't believe it's true, but you can only take the return train. You don't know how you came back all the way, and you don't know how many tears you shed in other people's surprised eyes along the way. All you remember is that you said a vague thank you to the person who comforted you and took the tissue they handed you.

After a day's rest, you went to work in the company after repeated struggles. Colleagues asked you why you didn't come yesterday. You just said that you weren't feeling well. What you didn't expect was that the boss seemed to have lost his memory and didn't bother you.

On the last day of the internship, her sorry made your self-righteous mood collapse again. She said that she didn't come to make up with you, but thought she should give you an explanation. She decided to stay with her senior. Yes, that's the one you've seen. At this moment, you think it's ironic. Obviously, you have already planned the future, and this future is full of her shadow. How can you say it doesn't count? Finally, when I get off work, the boss calls you to the office and tells you that he can understand your feelings. They are all from this age. I just want to give you a word, no matter what the ending is, don't hate her. Although you couldn't understand this sentence at that time, it was the first time that you felt that this boss who used to be unreasonable in your eyes was so kind.

At the age of 23, there is also a girl who is an intern around you. After several months of getting along, your heart, which has been silent for two years, finally gets a little restless. You start to ask her out for dinner and send her home, but you still refuse more on the whole. Suddenly one day, she said a lot to you, and you comforted her for a long time. Holding a mobile phone, you are secretly pleased, and hard work pays off. The next morning, you bought breakfast early in the morning and waited downstairs. When she came downstairs, she said to you, I'm really sorry. I was in a bad mood yesterday. You may have misunderstood. You look at her swollen eyes and apologetic smile. At this moment, you seem to understand everything. It turned out that you were really wrong. You finally understood what the boss said. You struggled for a moment and decided not to become the person you hate the most.

at the age of 26, you put out the cigarette in your hand, shook your head and put away your thoughts with a wry smile. Every time you think about it, you will think, if the 21-year-old really can gently hold her hand and say sorry, maybe you are still together now. As the song goes: If I wasn't provoked by emotions that day, what would you do? There were so many ifs, maybe ifs, but unfortunately there was no ifs, only the result was left.

In recent years, you have tried to spend some time with several girls introduced by relatives and friends. They are all excellent enough, but you always feel that something is missing. You always give up after a long time. Slowly, you get used to living alone, plan your own life, do what you like, travel alone, learn your favorite musical instruments, read your favorite books and go to the movies alone.

Maybe you are lonely in the eyes of many people, but you know, you are still looking forward to love, and you are still waiting for someone, just like the person you saw at the 19-year-old welcome party who eclipsed the world. You believe that there will be such a person one day, and before she appears, the only thing you can do is to make yourself better. As you know, when this person appears, you are still willing to give up your own world and try your best to enter her world like you were 19 years old, but at this time, you are too mature than then, and you will never let her go again this time.