Classic humorous sentences

When looking at beautiful women on the street, if you look higher, you are appreciative, if you look lower, you are a gangster. What other classic humorous and witty sentences are there? The following classic humorous and witty sentences brought by me are welcome to read!

Selected classic humorous and witty sentences

1) You have never been ignored by others Only when you love someone will you cherish the person who loves you in the future.

2) Smart women deal with men, and stupid women deal with women.

3) Love does not need any reason, let us love to the end.

4) Hard work will not lead to death! But I won’t prove it myself.

5) I have lost my appetite when I see you, so why talk about sexual desire?

6) How nice it would be for your parents to use that minute to take a walk!

7) You need to understand the script of your life - it is not a sequel to your parents, not a prequel to your children, and not a sequel to your friends.

8) Boys must be poor, otherwise they will not know how to struggle; girls must be rich, otherwise they will be kidnapped with a few flowers.

9) I allow you to enter my world, but I will never allow you to come in and out of my world.

10) May the family be prosperous, the life be prosperous, the character Yongzheng, the career be prosperous, everything be prosperous, the future be bright, the wealth be prosperous, the internal and external governance be harmonious, the Emperor Guangxu be prosperous, and the people be proclaimed emperor!

11) Me Not a casual person! But if you are casual, you are not a human being!

12) Anyone can become vicious, as long as you have tried to be jealous.

13) The bombarded head also has a lightning hairstyle.

14) The only difference between me and Superman is that I wear underwear inside!

15) Even though you have toothy teeth! Don’t feel sorry for yourself, toothy teeth are good! It’s okay to have toothy teeth When digging sweet potatoes, you can cover your chin when it rains, when drinking tea, you can use tea residues, and when picnicking, you can use knives and forks. Do you think having teeth is awesome!

Collection of classic humorous sentences

1 ) Going to work is to carry forward the spirit of a dead pig who is not afraid of boiling water!

2) Even if the earth stops spinning, we will still continue to revolve around the Party Central Committee with Comrade Hu Jintao as the center.

3) Lei Feng did not leave a name for his good deeds, but he recorded everything in his diary.

4) When I think about a problem, the left side of my head is filled with flour and the right side is filled with water.

5) As a monster, my desire is to destroy at least one Ultraman.

6) To like someone means to be happy together; to love someone means to want to be together even if you are unhappy.

7) Love the country, love the family, love the junior sisters, guard against thieves, guard against thefts and guard against the senior brothers.

8) Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately - in the end he killed all his students.

9) People, it is better to live beautifully than to look beautiful!

10) Life is like a cup of tea, it will not be bitter for a lifetime, but it will always be bitter for a while.

11) One day, a mother-in-law was riding in a car... She didn’t know the road halfway through the ride... The mother-in-law spanked the driver with a stick and said: Where is this? The driver said: This is my penis...

12) It is best not to miss two things in life: the last bus home and someone who loves you deeply.

13) When looking at beautiful women on the street, if you look high, you are appreciative; if you look low, you are a gangster.

14) The same bottle of drink sells for ￥ in a convenience store and ￥ in a five-star hotel. In many cases, a person's value depends on his location.

15) The effect of contraception: If you don’t succeed, you will become an adult!

Collection of classic humorous sentences

1) Drink Beshengyuan slimming tea, and your breasts will disappear. .

2) The first half of the short story I Love Your Mother will be broadcast here today. Please continue to enjoy the second half of the short story I Love Your Mother at the same time tomorrow.

3) You told me to get out? I got out.

You want me to come back? Sorry, get away.

4) If you can’t bear it anymore, just bear it again.

5) What are you unhappy about? Tell it to make everyone happy.

6) Let the future come and let the past pass.

7) Advertisements on the subway: Is it crowded? Buy a car! Advertisements on taxis: Is it crowded? Take the subway!

8) Advertisements for a flower shop: Today, the roses in our store are the cheapest. You can even buy a few for your wife.

9) I am in the world, but there are no legends about me in the world!

10) The reason why people live a tired life is because they can’t let go of their airs, lose face, and solve problems. No plot.

11) I am not RMB, how can I make everyone like me?

12) The ideal is very full, but the reality is very skinny.

13) God decides who your relatives are, and luckily it leaves you some leeway in choosing your friends.

14) Shout loudly: My disease is finally cured!

15) People without medical insurance and life insurance should not act bravely after dark...

16) When pain comes, don’t always ask: “Why me?” Because you haven’t asked this question when happiness comes.

17) A man is wandering the rivers and lakes in despair, unable to distinguish between east, west, south and north. I bumped into a corner and didn't realize it, lying on the ground counting stars!

18) Happiness means scratching it when you feel itchy, misfortune means being itchy but not being able to scratch it, and what's even more unfortunate is that the soul and body have been feeling it for a long time. No more that kind of itch that's just about ready to move.

19) If being handsome can be eaten, then my handsomeness can feed hundreds of millions of people.

20) Bullshit is the first word in a relationship.

21) Regarding thongs: In the past, you took off your underwear to look at your butt; now, you pull off your butt and look at your underwear...

22) The greatest sorrow in life is not whether you have it or not. You have gained or lost something, but you simply don’t know what you want.

23) For those who always like to talk about how things were in the past, our boss said: "You used to wear crotchless pants, do you still wear them now?"

24) Tiechu can It can be ground into a needle, but a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. If the material is not right, it will be useless no matter how hard you try.

25) Don’t always use your identity as a commoner to tell me the story of society B! No matter how awesome you are, why can’t Baidu search for you? No matter how strong you are, can you hold your urine?

26) Love is like sand in your hand. The tighter you hold it, the faster it drains.

27) Really fat people don’t lose weight.

28) Fatty had a girlfriend, but he broke up with her within a week. When my friend asked why, Fatty said: "She said... after looking at me for a long time, she felt so tired... ”

29) I have been to the women’s restroom three times without entering!

30) Taiwan, your mother’s birthday! I call you home for dinner!

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