A mother's parenting lesson: On the road of children's growth, parents should be people who run with their children. Do you think it's right?

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When I was young, my parents always wanted us to be the winners at the starting line. However, who set the starting line to limit us? Who decides to win or lose? What is the specific significance of success or failure to us?

I have always told my son that grades are just numbers, not your ability and wisdom. Mom loves you, which has nothing to do with your grades.

The son of the sixth grade in primary school, his grades are high and low, and when he is high, he is beyond imagination; It is unpredictable when it is low.

We have also made progress in the tutorial, and we have also invested the time and money we should pay.

Children should not be too hard on their parents, and parents should not be too hard on their children. Children never ask us to be first-class parents, and we should not expect our children to be lucky.

Every child is an angel, and they all have their own growth trajectory. Parents can only try to persuade and accompany them to grow up happily. Please don't restrain their simple and romantic nature.

First you are an adult, then your parents. Learn to respect children and then listen to their voices. When they trust you and depend on you, they will talk to you.

When they ask you puzzling questions, you try to put yourself in the children's shoes, give them pertinent advice and wait patiently for the children to digest themselves.

The children's world is very simple, and everyone understands the truth, just giving them an acceptance process.

Raising children is our parents' obligation and responsibility. As parents, we should always reflect on what we have done.

In fact, the same is true for children, otherwise, how can you be timid when you are in arrears with your homework? Trembling at the unsatisfactory report card?

How can you have tears in your eyes when you make a mistake and dare not look into your eyes? ……

Because children also know guilt and shame, and their hearts are painful. Now, what should we do? Give a big scolding?

Don't! What we have to do is to find out the reasons for making mistakes with our children, communicate patiently and tell them how to avoid making mistakes in the future.

Of course, you can also negotiate privately, make a look or gesture and tell them that you will remind them in this way in public.

I believe that children will be grateful, because your tolerance and wisdom will not only keep their self-esteem, but also make them not resent your daily reminder.

My son is very smart, and he has been willing to accompany me shopping and help me with the vegetable basket since the second grade. When you go out with me in the third grade, you will be reminded that "mom should take the sidewalk." Come on, have some more. Let's go by the sidewalk. "

In my eyes, he is a very law-abiding boy. At this time, I will immediately follow his instructions and tell him, "Thank you for reminding me. I will remember it later." Whether this is a commandment or not.

But that day, I clearly saw that little face smiling brightly in the sun.

One day, the child asked me, "Mom, why don't you never ask me to be at the top of the class like other people's mothers?"

Hehe, what's this little guy's little melon seeds doing? Every time I ask a child a question, I don't answer it right away. I'll think about it secretly first.

First of all, he learned to compare, because he thought I was different from other mothers. Secondly, at first, he will be surprised that his grades are not good but he is not blamed. Finally, he may not be satisfied with himself but can't understand his mother's intentions.

At this time, I chose to stop what I was doing and sit side by side on the comfortable sofa with my children. Holding his little hand and asking, "My mother feels it necessary to take some time to answer your question." The child smiled and nodded, expecting my answer.

Gently stroking the child's head, I said to him, "Mom thinks you have grown up. Mom is actually very concerned about your study, but she is not nervous. Because what mom values is your learning attitude, not your academic performance. Mom not only cares about your study life, but also has hobbies. Mom is also very concerned about your ideology and morality. In this world, there are many people who work hard, but there is always only one first place, right? "

The son thought for a moment, nodded and asked, "Well, Mom, don't you want me to be the first person?"

"Well ... mom certainly wants it, but mom won't ask you to be the first. Mom wants to see you grow up healthily, safely and happily. Whether you want to be the first is your choice, not your mother's request. I will not hesitate to support your choice. As long as you think you have worked hard enough, what you have achieved is the best reward for your efforts. "

"But ... but ..." The child faltered timidly and then said, "Mom, I don't think I'm working hard enough. I am absent-minded in class, my homework is too sloppy, and I like to cram before the exam. " He's blaming himself again. Take this good opportunity.

"Oh, so you found so many shortcomings? No wonder, I always feel that my son is so smart, how can he get so many points in the exam? "

The child lowered his head and dared not look at me. I kissed the child's face. "Son, finding your own shortcomings is the greatest progress. Mom wants to praise you. "

"Mom, no matter how hard I try, can't I be the first?" I winked and said to him, "It doesn't matter whether you take the first place or not. The important thing is that no matter how many places you win, you are my good son. "

The child gradually let go and got into my arms. I asked my son softly, "Hey, that mother has a question for you, too." The child replied cheerfully, "Ask."

I pretended to hesitate, and then learned from his appearance and asked timidly, "what about mom?" I feel that I am not the first mother either, but don't you like your mother? " The child looked up, opened his eyes wide, looked at me in surprise and blurted out, "How come? You are the best mother in the world. In my heart, my mother is the first mother! "

Our communication was unimpeded that day, and my child gave me a big hug to encourage me.

When my children grow up, I want to be a runner with them. If I can, I also want my child to be the one who runs with others and enjoy it. Less competition, even less competition.