Father's prose in the last seven days

The loving father went to the west to seek happiness,

My daughter is crying in the mourning hall.

I cann't call back after a long time,

Abandon one's children to the grave.

Sadness sings all night,

Pima Dai Xiao sent his father away.

Yin and Yang will be separated forever in this life,

Father and daughter will continue in the afterlife.

At one o'clock in the morning, my old father left me forever. From this moment on, I became a child without a father. My old father is over eighty years old, and it's nothing serious. He belongs to an old man with natural aging and complete merits. He started with no appetite and couldn't eat anything, and slowly came to the end of oil and light. In the last two months, my father often said that he couldn't eat, but he lost his appetite when he was hungry. I often advise him to go to the hospital, but he says he can't. His body knows that it doesn't hurt or feel bad. People are old, that's all. How can they be so perfect? They don't want to feel guilty about taking medicine by injection. Seeing his reluctance, I don't want to force him. I know obedience is also a kind of filial piety. These days, although my father has no appetite and can't eat anything, he likes to eat non-staple food, such as rice rolls, jiaozi, wonton, porridge and so on. Every time I see him and finish the food we cooked or bought, I feel very gratified. I think he can eat anything, as long as he can fill his stomach. However, he gradually ate less and less, and became less and less interested in the food we bought and made in various ways. He said to me, "Daughter, my family was poor before and I couldn't afford these things. Now, if I can afford them, I can't eat them. Dad is in bring disgrace to oneself. " I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm helpless and helpless, which has been bothering me.

Looking back on my old father's last days, I am glad that I didn't waste a minute, and I have been with him all the time, extending this limited day in the memory of the long years to make myself feel more gratified, less sorry, more calm and less sad when I think of my father in the future. Because, I understand, from now on, my father can only be a shadow, existing in my heart, comforting me with the warmth of the past for the rest of my life. Tomorrow, my father will hold a funeral. Tonight, I will tidy up and spend the last seven days with my father. I want to use words to freeze these irreplaceable seven days into the eternity of memory, engraved in the future, engraved in the days without a father. Why seven days? There is a simple reason. These seven days happened to be the National Day holiday, and my father took an hour off and left. What my father really needs to serve is these seven days. My father is an amiable old man. He always takes care of himself and thinks of us everywhere. What he said most was: My children are busy with their own lives. I can do it myself, so I won't bother you. So until his death, he didn't bring us any trouble, and he was a nice guy who benefited future generations. My father enjoyed doing good deeds all his life. I'm sure he can reach bliss as soon as possible and become an immortal and a Buddha.

65438+1 October1:sunny and breezy.

Today, Bao Xiao got up at seven o'clock, and I gave him a bath quickly. Then, I went to the breakfast shop and bought several breakfasts, including rice rolls, Hangzhou steamed buns and Portuguese egg tarts. Then I took him to my father's house. When I arrived at my father's house, my father was already sitting in the living room. I set out some breakfast and asked my father what he wanted to eat. Father looked at it, shook his head and said, "I don't even want to eat." Your mother cooked rice porridge. I'll have some porridge later. " I picked up an egg tart and said to him, "Dad, have one. It doesn't smell like yesterday. See if it will taste better. " So, dad picked it up and ate it. I quickly poured him a cup of warm water. When he finished eating, I gave him the cup and asked him if he wanted it. He shook his head, and I didn't force it. After breakfast, my father sat for a while and said that he wanted to sleep for a while. I said to help him. He said, "No, Dad can go by himself." So, I looked at him, walked slowly into the room on crutches and lay down. I closed the door quietly so as not to disturb him. At lunch time, my father got up by himself and came to the living room on crutches. Sister-in-law asked him, "Dad, what do you want for lunch?" Father said he wanted to eat another egg tart, so my sister-in-law poured him water and got an egg tart. I played with Bao Xiao and watched him finish eating. After the so-called lunch, my father talked with us about the past days and his past. We listened to it hundreds of times, but he was willing to talk, and we didn't bother him. After chatting for more than half an hour, dad was obviously tired and a little out of breath. We told him to have a rest. He didn't go back to his room, but rested on the sofa. In the evening, we asked him what he wanted to eat, and he said no, just have some porridge. So, my mother poured half a bowl of porridge water, and my father finished it. Then, my mother poured him hot water for a bath. After watching him take a bath, he went back to his room to rest. It's already eight o'clock at night. I said hello to my father and took Bao Xiao home.

65438+10.2: sunny and windless.

Bao Xiao didn't get up until almost eight o'clock today. He said he would go to the "big bowl" to eat wonton. So after washing, I took him to the "big and small bowls", ordered wonton for him and asked the waiter to help me pack a bowl for my father later. After Bao Xiao was full, we went to his father's house again. When we arrived, he was still in bed and said he didn't want to get up. I went in and asked him, "Dad, what's the matter? Get up and eat wonton, okay? " I just bought it. Father said, "No, I can't eat any more." . You can eat. "I said," Dad, will you get up and sit down? Lying down all the time will be very tired. "So, my father remembered, but he tried many times, but he couldn't get up by himself. I was shocked, so I hurried to pull him and asked, "Dad, what's wrong with you? "Dad said he felt weak and weak. After I pulled him out of bed, he sat on the edge of the bed for a long time, stood up and wanted to go, but he said that he had no strength and could not walk. I quickly brought his crutches. He holds it in his right hand, but he still can't walk. I put my hand on his shoulder, but it didn't work. My father is much taller than me. I can only let him put his hand on my shoulder, support him with my body, slowly walk out of the room and help him sit in the chair. Sister-in-law was shocked when she saw it She asked her father what had happened. I said he had no strength at all and couldn't walk. What should I do? When my mother heard this, she blamed my father and said, "I have no strength because I didn't eat anything." People are iron rice or steel. Where did you get the strength not to eat? "Hearing this, my father looked at my mother and said," Well, it's not that I don't eat, it's that I can't eat any more. I just can't swallow it. "I poured a cup of hot water for my father to drink, and then asked my mother to look at my father. My sister-in-law and I discussed that this is not the way for my father. It is better to call the sisters to discuss countermeasures. So, I called my four sisters one by one, told them about my father, and asked them to come and have a family meeting to see what to do. At noon, several sisters and brothers-in-law came here one after another. We discussed my father's affairs and suggested that he go to the hospital first to solve the big problem of loss of appetite. But my father firmly opposed it and told us that his body, he knew, was dying, and he had to toss it so that he wouldn't suddenly close his eyes and die, so perfect. Hearing this, we felt uncomfortable, so we said something to comfort him and let him rest at ease. Slowly, his appetite came up and he had the strength to eat. My father has been in a coma all day today. At the end of the day, he only drank half a bowl of rice porridge and half a cup of boiled water. If he gives it again, he says he can't drink any more. At night, our sisters dispersed one after another.

65438+10.3: sunny, windless and sultry.

Today, a wedding was held in my husband's hometown. I'm taking Bao Xiao home at noon. So, early in the morning, I took Bao Xiao out to buy jiaozi. Rice rolls went to his father's house. When I arrived at my father's house, I found him still lying in bed. He said that after sitting up for less than ten minutes, his waist couldn't hold up, and he was too tired to stand it. I asked him what he wanted to eat, but he said he couldn't eat anything. I saw him lying limply in bed, getting weaker and weaker, and my heart ached. I poured him some warm water, helped him up slowly, took two sips, and he said he couldn't drink any more. It is very difficult to swallow, as if there is flatulence in the chest, which is extremely uncomfortable. After drinking the water, he slowly lost his breath. He said to him, "Daughter, my father will definitely not be able to support me this time. If anything happens to my father, don't be sad. My father is old, and one day, as long as your brothers and sisters are well, my father will feel at ease when he leaves. " When I heard this, my heart ached and tears flowed down. This is the legendary afterlife account. How can I not be sad? Slowly, I said some comforting words to my father and had a chat with him, but when I said these words, I was not confident myself, and I was not sure whether my father could support me. Slowly grinding until noon, I just want to hurry back to my hometown. My second and third sisters are here. They discussed with my sister-in-law to give my dad a bath together, in case he suddenly had an accident, so that he could clean it up. I feel particularly uncomfortable when I hear this. I don't want to go back to my hometown. I'm really afraid that my father will suddenly get sick. Later, my sister told me to go back with peace of mind. I have to do human etiquette. They came to see it. Call me if you need anything. So, I brought Bao Xiao back to my hometown. At 7 o'clock in the evening, I rushed back to my father's house and asked my sister. My father didn't eat anything either, just drank some water. I went to chat with him and found that my father was getting weaker and weaker. He can only say four or five words at a time, and he needs a break to continue. I was in a panic. I am afraid that my father will be speechless one day and will never call my name again. I stayed at my father's house until nine o'clock, and my sister was going home again. Say hello to my father and tell him to take good care of it. Don't worry, we'll see him tomorrow. He said, "Don't worry, go home. Dad can last for a few days. "

65438+10.4: The weather is sunny, windy and dry.

After getting up and washing up today, tell Dabao to see grandpa today. He is weak and may leave us at any time. If he doesn't go, he may never see him again. Dabao agreed, so I took my two sons, Dabao Bao Xiao, back to my father's house. Dabao went to his father's bedside to meet him. His father said weakly to Dabao, "You should study hard. Without cultural knowledge, you will suffer all your life. " Dabao passive Nuo Nuo promised. I asked my father if he wanted to drink some porridge water, and he said no, no. Then, I poured him half a cup of warm water and slowly lifted him up to drink water. He lay down again. He said he was too tired to sit down, and his body was going to fall down. There seems to be a fire burning in his chest, and he feels breathless and very uncomfortable. Hearing my father's words, my tears came down again. Looking at my skinny dad who can't eat anything, watching him consume his life day by day, my heart hurts, but there is nothing I can do. I hate myself. Why is it so useless that it can't relieve the pain for the old father? I just watched my dear father suffer like this, which made me feel ashamed to be a daughter. The more I think about it, the more painful I feel, and the more I can't stop crying. I don't want to face my father in tears, but I can't stop, so I have to leave the room and let myself feel slowly. At noon, my sister-in-law called a barber. She said, "Dad's hair is very long. Let's cut it first and shave his beard. If he can raise it, that's good. If not, he should definitely leave. He doesn't like a messy beard. " Watching my sister-in-law slowly arrange my father's funeral, I seemed to really understand. My father really can't escape this time. He's really leaving me. No, I can't accept it. I went back to my father, held his hand tightly and said to him, "Dad, will you eat something?"? Only when you eat it will you gradually have the strength to raise it. You see, now our village is here. " If you don't want to go far, our village will become a bustling business district. It's very lively, dad. You should keep healthy and have a good look at this colorful world. "The father shook his head and said," daughter, dad may not be able to wait. You have a good life, and your life will get better and better in the future. "Listening to my father's intermittent words, my heart is broken, and I obviously feel that my father's state is really worse than the day before yesterday. Even if I don't want to accept it, I know that my Father's Day has entered the countdown.

65438+10.5: sunny and breezy.

Today, I took my two sons back to my father's house. In a roadside shop, I bought a bowl of landscape tofu and a cup of sesame sauce. When I arrived at my father's house, I asked him if he wanted to drink some tofu. He nodded lightly, and then snorted softly: Hmm. So, I helped him sit up slowly. He only took one sip and couldn't drink any more. I also found that his speech was getting shorter and shorter, and he was a little vague, and his consciousness seemed to be not clear. I feel horrible. I lay down in front of him and called him a few times. He didn't answer me. I panicked. I touched his face with my hand and asked him, "Dad, Dad, what's wrong with you? Look at me. Do you know who I am? " My father opened his eyes hard, turned left and right, looked at me for a long time, and then slowly spit out a word, which was the last word of my name. I never dreamed that this was the last time my father called me. After spitting out this word, no matter how I call him, he should not answer me, just look at me with his eyes. I cried. I can't accept it. My father, who loves me the most, can't name me and never talks to me again. It's cruel. I can't accept it. Sister-in-law asked me to come out. My sisters have just arrived. Let's discuss it together. Sister-in-law said, "Dad's days are numbered. It should be these two days. I have to call my brother-in-law on duty at night. What should we do if something happens to dad suddenly? " So, we soon reached a * * * knowledge. During the day, our sisters look after dad, and at night, our brother-in-law works the night shift. It's twenty-four hours anyway. We all have to look at our father with our eyes open. We can't let him die secretly when we are not around. Close our eyes. We Hakkas pay great attention to morality, propriety and righteousness, and it is today to raise children for a thousand days. If an old man dies and no one dies, it will become the laughing stock of others. My father has a full house of children and grandchildren. We can't let such accidents and regrets happen to ourselves, otherwise, we will be uneasy all our lives. In the face of my sister's decision, my brothers-in-law are very enthusiastic. In the evening, my father's five sons-in-law, including my husband, were all here. They discussed, two people keep midnight, three people keep midnight, take turns to sleep. Because, although my father may die at any time, no one can say absolutely, and everyone doesn't know how many nights to keep him, so we should make arrangements for rest. Shortly after the brothers-in-law arrived, the uncles in the same village knew that their father was critically ill and came to visit. They joked that our five sisters were my father's five golden flowers, and comforted us that my father was old. Even if he really fell down, it would be a funeral. Tell us to relax and handle his affairs properly, and our merits will be complete.

65438+10.6: Autumn is crisp and sunny.

I arrived at my father's house early this morning and asked my brother-in-law who was on the night shift to go back to rest. Second brother-in-law said that he wiped his father's body last night. We don't have enough strength, so don't wipe his body before he comes in the evening. The arrangement of the second brother-in-law is correct. Although my father is thin, he was 180 cm when he was young. He is tall, but now he is old and thin, but his skeleton is too big for him to exert himself. We really can't fool him into wiping his body, so we have to wait for his brother-in-law. Father looked weak, his eyes closed and he didn't open for a day. Only his mouth is still panting, but I feel that he is still conscious. When I poured him water to drink, I said to him, "Dad, I'm going to feed you water now, so you should swallow it slowly and stop choking." When I gently poured water into his mouth, he closed his mouth and swallowed it. When I said take another sip, he opened his mouth again and swallowed it slowly. Every half an hour, our sisters will give him some water to drink, watching his big mouth breathing, feeling that his throat should be very dry, afraid that he will feel uncomfortable. At this time, I feel that my father's consciousness is still a little bit. He just can't talk. He should work hard. Judging from his expression, he is also very upset. He often scratches his head with his hands. Sometimes, he lifted his hand into the air and fell off. I tucked him in. When it was hot, he took it off himself. It was cold, so he pulled the quilt on himself. These movements are very slow, and sometimes they can't be completed. When we see him doing it, we usually go over and help him fix it, and say to him, Dad, cover your hands, or you will catch cold. I don't know if my father heard it, but we are used to talking to him. I don't know whether to comfort my father or myself. It's just that whether my dad understands it or not, we all feel better talking. Father is exhausting his life bit by bit, and we can only watch him and leave us step by step. We can't catch it if we want to, and we can't pull it if we want to. This process is very bitter, and our hearts are very painful. Every minute is torturing our endurance.

65438+7 October: sunny, sultry and dry.

Today, I took my two sons back to my father's house. The brother-in-law on duty said: "Dad is much worse today than yesterday, and he is breathing faster and faster. The interval between before and after is also long. According to this observation, it should be over. Although I am prepared for the worst in my heart, I am mentally prepared, but after listening to my brother-in-law's words, my heart is still tightly pulled. I went to my father again, called him gently, then poured him some water and gently fed him. I saw my father's upper and lower lips moving gently, as if swallowing. I called him again, "Dad, would you like to open your mouth and have another drink? "His mouth opened again, and I fed a little more. He closed it again and swallowed it. In fact, these days, he basically breathes with his mouth open, only when he feeds water. By noon, dad's breathing slowed down obviously. The hand is no longer pulling the quilt, only the chest fluctuates rapidly, and we all panic. Let's call my brother-in-law quickly and ask them to come over quickly. My father is wrong and may not be able to do it. Several son-in-law rushed over again, and my father continued to gasp. We are all around him, afraid to leave. At 9 o'clock in the evening, my father is still like this. Because my sisters didn't have to take care of the children and didn't like seeing my father, they didn't leave and planned to accompany me at night. I have to take Bao Xiao home. When I left, I went over to my father and said, "Dad, I have to go back first. You have a good rest and I'll come to see you tomorrow. "Unexpectedly, this is the last time I saw my father. He didn't wait for me to come tomorrow. According to my brother-in-law's sister, at eleven o'clock in the evening, my father's breathing became slower and slower. 1 1 half past ten, I was uneasy at home and obviously felt a sudden pain in my heart. This may be the kinship between father and daughter. I quickly sent a short message to my husband, asking him how his father is now. He said he was not optimistic, but it might be tonight. I sent him another short message, asking him to tell me as soon as possible whether his father is getting better. Then, I took a nap in bed with my mobile phone. I don't know. The phone didn't ring all night.

65438+10.8: sunny and breezy.

This morning, the holiday was over. When I sent Bao Xiao to kindergarten in a hurry, I rushed to my father's house. However, what I saw was my father, who was cold all over. At 1 a.m., he has finished the dead end of his life. He put on a shroud and a robe. Although I was psychologically prepared, when I saw my father lying on the floor with such clothes on, my heart was broken and I stared at my father's face tightly, so I couldn't shed tears. I knelt in front of my father and took up his cold hand. When I couldn't touch the temperature, I finally cried and felt heartbroken. My sisters hugged me and said, "Silly girl, don't cry. Dad walked peacefully. I didn't dare to tell you the first time last night because I was afraid that you would come with your children in the middle of the night. Dad is a foregone conclusion and we have to live. " After I calmed down, my sister and brother-in-law told me that my father died at one o'clock in the morning. Before he left, he did not struggle or have difficulty breathing. He just opened his mouth several times and closed it several times. Then, when his brother-in-law saw that something was wrong with him, he leaned over and said to him, "Dad, don't worry. You have my son, grandson, daughter and son-in-law. You don't have to be afraid. " My father was out of breath in less than ten minutes. My sister-in-law also said that she saw a tear in the corner of her father's eye. I know my father can't bear to part with us, but there's nothing I can do. Father should be glad that only my sister and brother-in-law didn't die for him. The other four sons-in-law, three daughters, my brother, my nephew and my cousin's sister-in-law were all there, and more than a dozen people died for him. My father is a kind and simple man, and his life is aboveboard. I believe that the Bodhisattva will arrange for him to be a fairy in heaven. Dad, on the way to heaven, you must go well. In the afterlife, we will continue the relationship between father and daughter.

postscript

Writing this text is destined to be tears and keyboards, but I have to write. I want to use words to freeze these irreplaceable seven days into the eternity of memory, engraved in the days when I have no father. It doesn't matter whether there is pain or tears. Looking back, this text will definitely heal the trauma of losing my father and let me relive every ordinary day with my father again and again in my heart.