The art of speaking: seemingly boring greetings are the golden key to opening up the topic

Use clever greetings to arouse the other party's interest in the conversation

Greetings, simply put, are greetings and social interactions. When strangers communicate for the first time, because they are unfamiliar with each other, they are more or less defensive and wary, and it is difficult to quickly find someone to talk to about the same topic. Moreover, even if two people are familiar with each other, as long as they meet again after ten days and a half months or even a year and a half, time will draw a gap between them that is neither deep nor shallow but not easy to cross. In the past, That feeling of familiarity cannot come instantly.

Therefore, whether it is a meeting between strangers or acquaintances, some greetings are always indispensable. Just like athletes do warm-up exercises before formal competitions, greetings are a step before formal conversation. warm-up activities.

The right small talk can enliven the atmosphere of communication, allowing people to have in-depth communication and interaction in a more relaxed, familiar, harmonious and interesting manner. There is a story that particularly embodies the meaning of greetings:

During the Warring States Period, the State of Qin took advantage of the change of power in the State of Zhao to attack Zhao on a large scale and captured three cities of the State of Zhao. Zhao State was in a critical situation and had no choice but to ask for help from Qi State, but Qi State insisted on taking the Queen Mother of Zhao, the youngest son of Empress Zhao Wei, Lord Chang'an, as a hostage before sending troops. Empress Zhao Wei doted on Lord Chang'an very much and refused to do so. She also said that if any minister dared to persuade Chang'an Lord to be a hostage, she would spit in his face.

Seeing the deepening crisis in Zhao State, Zuo Shi Chulong, who was ill, had no choice but to go to see the Queen Mother. The Queen Mother knew that Chulong must be here to dissuade him, so she waited for him aggressively. Chulong dragged the sick body and hurriedly walked to the Queen Mother step by step and apologized: "My legs are not working properly. I can't even run fast. I haven't seen you for a long time. I am always worried that the Queen Mother's body is uncomfortable, so I wanted to come." I'm here to see you." The Queen Mother looked at the old Chulong and couldn't help feeling the same, and replied: "I can only move around by riding a car."

Chulong asked again: "What's your daily diet? Reduce it?" The Queen Mother said helplessly: "Just eat some porridge." Chulong also sighed: "I don't want to eat very much now, so I force myself to walk, walking three or four miles every day, and then I slowly feel better. My appetite and health are getting better." The Queen Mother shook her head and said, "I can't do this." After talking for a few words, the Queen Mother's expression improved.

Chulong then requested: "I have a son Shuqi, who is the youngest and has no talent. I am old and I love him from the bottom of my heart. I want him to be a black-clothed guard to guard the palace. I beg the Queen Mother. The Queen Mother asked about the age of the child and thought it was appropriate, so she agreed and joked to Chu Long: "Do you men also love your little son?" Chu Long also smiled and replied: "You love your son more than a woman." He waved his hand and said: "No, women love their sons more."

Chulong saw that the time was right, so he continued: "In my opinion, you love your daughter Yanhou more than your son Changanjun "The Queen Mother denied it again and again: "You are wrong, I love Lord Chang'an more." Chulong said again: "Parents who love their children must consider the long term for them. When you sent Queen Yan to marry away, you were extremely reluctant to leave her. After getting married, it's not that you miss her, but every time there is a sacrifice, you will pray for her, hoping that she will never be driven back. Isn't this a long-term plan for her, hoping that she can have children and let her descendants do the same for her. King?" The Queen Mother nodded frequently after hearing this.

Then, Chulong analyzed it for the Queen Mother. Whether it was Zhao or other vassal states, dating back three generations, most of the descendants who were granted lordships at that time had no successors. The reason for this This is because the descendants of these monarchs hold high positions and enjoy preferential treatment, but they have no merit in the country or the people, so they cannot last long.

Empress Zhao Wei only knows how to give Chang'an the best status and enjoyment, but does not allow him to make contributions to the country as soon as possible. Once the Queen Mother dies, why should Chang'an gain a foothold in Zhao? Therefore, touching Long Cai thought that Queen Mother Zhao had too little plans for Lord Chang'an, and she could not love him as much as she loved Queen Yan.

After his words woke up the dreamer, Zhao Wei suddenly realized that he immediately agreed to send Chang'an Lord to Qi State as a hostage. Finally, he moved Qi State's reinforcements and solved the siege of Zhao State.

Many people have read this story, which originated from a textbook called "The Empress Dowager Zhao Touched the Dragon".

When Chulong first met the Queen Mother, he said nothing about business matters. Instead, he asked about the Queen Mother's health and exchanged feelings and experiences about old age. As if they were talking about everyday things, he gradually broke down the Queen Mother's hostility and alertness. Then, Chulong talked about his youngest son, which also touched the Queen Mother's love for her son. After laying the groundwork step by step, Chulong began to get down to business, admonishing the Queen Mother to let Lord Chang'an be taken as a hostage.

In this story, Chulong uses many speaking skills, but the most commendable thing is his excellent greetings that revolve around old age and love for his children. It was these greetings that made the Queen Mother put down her anger and aroused the other party's interest in talking.

It can be seen that a clever and appropriate chatting topic is like a fuse, which can bring about a steady stream of new topics and an ever-increasing interest in conversation. So, what are the common greeting topics in interpersonal communication?

(1) Daily greetings: For example, "How are you?" "Have you eaten?" "The weather is not bad today! "Such a topic.

(2) Homely greetings: topics about family, family, and home life. For example, "How did your child do in the college entrance examination this year?" "How are your parents?" and so on.

(3) Relational greetings: topics centered on relationships, for example, through relationships with fellow villagers, classmates, colleagues, friends, etc. For example, in the Battle of Chibi, Lu Su said to Zhuge Liang when they met: "I am Tzuyu's friend." Tzuyu is Zhuge Liang's brother Zhuge Jin. This is a typical relationship-type greeting.

(4) Professional greetings: talk about career, profession, industry, major and other topics.

(5) Interest-based greetings: For example, young people get together to talk about celebrities and fashion, fans get together to talk about the stars and teams they support, etc. .

(6) Hot topics: Hot topics, news, events, etc. in society or in life circles.

There is no best conversation topic, only the most suitable one. As long as it suits the situation and suits the people's wishes, it is a good topic. Asking questions is always about friendship. A small talk is a warm-up, a run-in, a human tactic, and it is the golden key to open up a steady stream of topics.