I always want to give you the best in the world, only to find that the best in the world is you.

1, too far is easy to get rusty, too close is easy to get tired.

2. Love has three realms. Teenagers are out of curiosity, young people are aesthetic, and middle age is knowledge.

3. Those who succeed early may not succeed, and those who arrive late may not fail. You can't rely on yourself when you are young, and you can't give up when you are old.

In this society, when you can't fight, you can only fight hard.

The achievements and status of others seem hard-won, but they must be taken for granted.

6. The reason why people are unhappy is nothing more than self-deception, being cheated and being bullied.

7. When others pay a little attention to you, you open your heart. You think this is honesty, but it is loneliness.

8. The bravest thing I ever did was to listen to your story about you and her.

9. I always want to give you the best in the world, only to find that the best in the world is you.

10, don't live like this night after night, thinking about the east and the west every day is really melodramatic. It's really time to turn off your cell phone, disconnect some unnecessary connections, throw away all negative energy, live seriously and do something seriously.

1 1. People who love the past are always vulnerable and like to treat the rest of their lives as blessings.

12, if one day, you can't find me, don't be sad. It's not that I don't love you, nor that you miss me, but that I finally have the courage to leave, but please remember that I was really stupid before that.

13, everyone's personality has some unacceptable parts, even the best people; So don't criticize others, and don't blame yourself.

14, there is no debt in life, others pay for you because others like it, and you pay for others because you are willing. Love is voluntary, and you have no regrets.

15, the sense of ceremony makes ordinary days shine. We need to constantly praise the beauty in front of us in order to move forward without fear. Love and beauty are the biggest changes and intransigence we can make to ordinary life. Zeng yanbing

16, the proudest thing in a relationship is not how many people have chased you, but that one person will never leave you anyway.

17, I apologize to my old lover, because I feel like the first love for the new person.

18, you did something that others didn't want to do today, and you can have something that others can't get tomorrow.

19, admit that some things can't be done well even if they try their best, and some people will lose even if they try their best. You will feel much better.

20. Time will tell us that simple love lasts the longest, ordinary company is the most reassuring, and people who know you are the warmest.

Bian Xiao: Sunshine is there with you. This is the future I want. Bian Xiao: When no one is in charge, be firm and persist; When people are envious, Bian Xiao is quiet: Are you single for so long because you are too picky? Romantic love: I want to give you the best in the world, but I find that the best in the world is you.

1. Suddenly fell in love with the word "glance". Love at first sight is too superficial, love is too pale after a long time, others are flirting, and I only peek at you.

When people can't get it, they don't mind anything. When they get it, they will care a little. This is love, please don't mind.

I used to think that love is love at first sight. Later, I thought love was a long stream. Later, I felt that love is a sense of security, companionship, dependence, and reluctance to let go. Now I think love means that when I love you, you love me. It's that simple.

4. Don't regret what you missed. People and things you miss, others have a chance to meet, others miss, you have a chance to have. Everyone will miss it, everyone will miss it, and what really belongs to you will never be missed.

5. I want to give you the best in the world, but I find that the best in the world is you; I don't want youth that is not old, as long as I can't take away my lover.

6, like a person is really no reason to make it clear, it is a feeling, that is, seeing the right eye. It's like wanting to be with each other for a long time and finish this life.

7. When wasting time, I feel that there is no such thing in the world. But after falling in love with you, I began to yearn for a long life. It's not worth living on earth, but you are.

8. It's not that I feel good enough, but that no one will turn a blind eye to you except me. There is a kind of love that is so blind and confident.

9. If love can be explained, vows can be revised, and if you and I meet can be rearranged, then life will be easier. If, one day, I can finally forget you, however, this is not a random legend, nor is it a drama to be staged tomorrow. I couldn't find the manuscript and erased you. -Xi Murong's "Error"

10, we will go to the end, get married, live a life, care for each other and join hands for life ... I am with you with this idea, and there is another sentence I love you for being 60 years old.

I can't give you the best things in the world, but I will give you all my best.

1. I can't give you the best things in the world, but I will give you all my best.

Where did you get such a good temper? This is all because I love you.

I've never been afraid of police, hooligans or parents. The only thing I'm afraid of is my wife!

What I want to say most is in my eyes, in my manuscript box and in my dream.

5. You sent me an anonymous message and liked me? Don't say that. No Stop it, you are the only girl in QQ.

6. I hope that one day after a certain year, I can send a status saying: Shit, I actually married him.

7. You kissed my lips, but I'm not your favorite person.

8. If what you gave me was also given to others, I would rather not. It is not terrible not to get it. It would be a joke if I couldn't stay.

9. Dare you let me live an inch in the fourth rib of your left chest?

10. You can't say that you can only love one person in your life. It's impossible. However, there must be someone who can make you laugh the most brilliantly, cry the most thoroughly and remember the most deeply.

1 1. Call your husband and behave yourself; If you call your wife, you will be responsible to the end.

12. Didn't the teacher teach you? If you can't do the problem, just jump to the back. If you can't catch up, find another one!

13. You slapped me, but I asked you why your hands were so cold. Classic QQ love to share.

14. If you can't quarrel with your daughter-in-law, hug or press against the wall and kiss.

15. Boys are subtraction. At first, it seemed that every girl scored 100. When you find the shortcomings, you will gradually reduce them until you fail, and you will break up! And girls are addition. At first, boys got lower marks. After getting along, they gradually get extra points and love more and more! So in the end, most of the people who suffer the most are girls.

16. I will accompany you for a long time. How long will it take to bury you next to me?

17. Find a friend, find a boyfriend, salute and shake hands until you are single.

18. I want to scream when you are drunk and sigh when you are sober.

19. The most vicious spell: I hope that after many years, you will die of a broken heart and think of me.

20. You never know how much you can love someone. You don't know how much you love until you watch him fall in love with someone else.

2 1. With the person you like, it doesn't matter whether you have WiFi or not.

22. I remember every word you said, every look back and every smile.

If he doesn't care, he should learn to care less than he does.

24. I didn't know how much I couldn't let you go until we met after such a long separation.

25. One day, you will definitely thank the person who abandoned you, and thank the person who you love deeply but ignore you. His abandonment urges you to find a better next one.

26. What's wrong with changing from a friend to an ex-boyfriend?

27. I'm not afraid of being alone. I'm afraid that when I get used to being alone, someone will disturb everything for me.

28. You will find someone and believe that he is yourself.

29. The secret of any long-term relationship is to find beauty in imperfection.

The funniest joke in the world

The funniest joke in the world

1. I bought a bag of oranges before, but my roommate peeled them and put them in my mouth without saying hello. I kindly remind you, don't eat too many oranges, it's easy to get angry! He doesn't think so, that's all right. Say that finish stretched out his hand to get, didn't stop. You haven't finished, have you? I lost patience, grabbed the stool and threw it at him. I told you that eating oranges is easy to get angry. You don't believe me, Cao!

2. A comedian told People that every time he asked his mother for money when he was a child, her mother always said, "What do you think I look like, like a bank?" In fact, the actor said that for a teenager, parents are banks. If I really go to the bank to ask for money myself, the cashier will definitely say, "What do you think I look like, like your mother?"

3. My son is eighteen, and he is taking the college entrance examination this year. Learn every day, damn it every day. Say, if you can't get into college, you can't even find a wife, let alone have a baby. The son said, if you want to watch the children play, you should have one with my father quickly. I have no time to study.

I forgot to put the air conditioner remote control there. I searched for a circle, but I had no choice but to enter the air-conditioning remote control on Baidu. What if I lose it? The first result is to see if the air conditioner is installed. (Please keep it. I suddenly realized that I climbed into bed and touched it on the air conditioner. It's really there! Du Niang, you are really omnipotent!

My friend's son is eight years old and learns Taekwondo in his spare time. One day I fought with my classmates at school and got three stitches in my head. A friend was called to the school to apologize to the parents of the child who was beaten and compensate for the medical expenses. Go home at night and beat his son up. While playing, I asked my son angrily, is it for nothing that I spend so much money to send you to learn Taekwondo every day, and do you fight with others with bricks? !

6. My girlfriend and I got lost in the wild. I didn't eat for three days and nights. I looked at my girlfriend's desperate expression. I was so hungry that I bit her face. Don't say, this powder is quite strong.

The reporter went to visit the master, who meditated for four hours every day. When the reporter got there, he said to the master, Master, you meditate for four hours every day. Why? The master said, I absorbed the essence of heaven and earth in the first two hours, but not in the last two hours. . . The reporter thought that the master had nothing to say, so he answered. The master absorbed the essence of the sun and the moon and said shyly. . My legs are numb and I can't stand up. .

8. I bought a scratch music when I was shopping and won 400 yuan. I ran home happily all the way and told my wife that after a long time of happiness, my wife said, hand it over. .

9. Party A said to Party B, "Recently, my son often does some immoral things and doesn't listen to me. He said he only listened to idiots. Please advise my son! b，

10, a, benefactor, being original comes from the eastern soil of Datang, and I want to change something from you! B, oh, I wonder what the master wants to change? Excuse me, patroness, have you ever heard of daylight?

1 1. There are two idiots in the dormitory who bet to quit smoking. Whoever wants to smoke first will give it to the other party 100 yuan. At nine o'clock in the evening, one finally couldn't help smoking one in the bathroom, and the other idiot said, 100 I don't want it. Please let me smoke one.

12, my father is a big shot in the army, and my brother works in a western enterprise. Superior conditions have developed his domineering character. On one occasion, he made trouble in Bath City, killed Wen Xun's security guard and the boss's son, and blocked the boss at the gate of the court and beat him up. Under the pressure of public opinion, he was forced to commit suicide. Soon, he appeared in public. This is Nezha.

13, many people like to get C when they can't do multiple-choice questions. Some analysts say that this is because C stands for right and gives people a strong psychological hint. I think this statement is far-fetched. The real reason is that C stands for Cao. I chose C just to vent my dissatisfaction, but I can't do C! Choose c, choose c, choose c!

14, my family has a son of 1 1 year old. Today, I told my son that when you grow up and go to work, give your mother the red ticket you earned. My son glared at me and said, "No, then I have no money to eat." . I said I'd give you change, and my son replied, Oh, then I'll change all the red tickets into zero.

15, a, I think I have acrophobia. B Then show me! I said, I have acrophobia. B, yes! Take out your papers!

16, kidnapping, I quietly blindfolded you; Heart disease, you are my chest pain forever; Schadenfreude, when the old cat was driven out by its owner, the mouse came out to see me off; When I say murder with a knife, I mean a robber who is too poor to even have a knife; Generation gap, just adapted to his son's long hair, he shaved his head again; Apple, its most brilliant moment is hitting Newton on the head;

17, the doctor said that urine should be held at 3: 30 in the afternoon for color Doppler ultrasound. I am obedient, and I can't hold it any longer. . . Why are you telling me in front of more than 20 people? You want to suffocate me! ! !

18. My father sent me a message just now, and I heard from my colleagues that there was a neon Christmas tree more than ten meters high in front of the station, which was particularly beautiful. Shall I drive you to have a look at it tonight? I was beautiful when I suddenly received a text message from my mother. Eat by yourself at night, and mom will go out. Just wondering, I received a text message from my dad three minutes later. I sent it wrong just now. It's addressed to your mother. Find yourself a fluorescent lamp.

19. I went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get married with my wife in the morning. When you go out, ask, this is where I apply for a divorce certificate. . . Kneel at home and rub the washboard at the moment.

In other words, a prisoner was shot. Because the bullet was made in a fake factory, the first shot didn't go out, the second shot didn't go out, and then the third shot and the fourth shot ... The prisoner couldn't stand it, crying and saying a classic sentence, big brother, don't waste any more bullets, you strangle me, this is too fucking scary!

2 1, my daughter is getting smarter and smarter. Today, when I was eating out, I walked back with two cream cakes and accidentally dropped one on the way. When the daughter saw it, she immediately shouted, Dad, you dropped that piece!

22. A gentleman drank a glass of brandy in a bar. When checking out, the waitress carefully looked at the money paid, and her face fell and said, Sir, your money is fake! The gentleman looked up and casually asked, "Is your brandy real?" ?

23, Q, how to praise the beauty of the goddess in one sentence, but also a powerless confession. If my mother had your daughter-in-law, she wouldn't worry about her grandson being ugly.

24. The candle went out unexpectedly. After investigation, the police found that matches were the biggest suspect, so they took them away. At the police station. Police, matches, say why did you put out the candle? Matches, officer, I'm innocent. We went camping that day, and the candle said we couldn't see it at night, so I had to light it.

25. I'm going to get a license with my girlfriend. I just had a good talk with her. I said, "Have you thought about it?" Are you sure you want to get a license with me? She nodded solemnly, and I was relieved. I also said, "You can't quarrel and break up when you are angry." . She said, I know, I want to talk about divorce.

26. I am really sorry. My cleanliness is really serious. I saw a girl in a bar that day who was too dirty, so I dragged her to my house to give her a bath. That's what happened, presiding judge.

27. A disabled person begging in a car met an insurance seller. When he reached out for money, the insurance company sold him insurance in turn. . . Disabled people say insurance is good, but I have no money. The insurer replied, nothing, you'll have it soon, I'll wait for you!

28. The foreign ambassador intends to give a pair of rare canaries as a gift. However, one died before being sent to the king. The ambassador had no choice but to catch another local canary to make up for the loss. The king was very happy to see this precious canary, but he didn't understand why there was a local one in the cage. "Because this canary is abroad in ..............," replied the ambassador.

It rained heavily, so I took a taxi back to the hotel. After getting off the bus, I found that my mobile phone was gone, and I couldn't take care of the heavy rain. I chased the taxi and shouted, master. Stopped 100 meters, found the phone in the left hand. But at this point, the driver's master has stopped to ask me, what's the matter? I stood in the heavy rain and shouted to the master, "It's raining slowly." Later, the master married my daughter to me.

30. Manager, after reading your resume, it is true that you were hired by our company! Me, thank you, manager! Manager, you have many advantages. Tell me what else you have! I want to know more about you so that I can assign work! Me, my weakness is honesty! Manager, are you honest? This is not a shortcoming! Me? Really? Fat man!

3 1. My mother called me and said, "Your cousin brought a girlfriend home yesterday. When will you bring one back? " ? I put down the phone and immediately rented a girlfriend to go home. My mother saw it and said, "Isn't this the girl your cousin brought home yesterday?"

32. If you could go back in time, what would you do? B: I want to plant a durian tree in Newton's yard. Third, go and replace Edison's hen with a rooster. Ding advised Lu Xun to study medicine.

33. The doctor asked, how did the patient break his bone? A: I feel sand in my shoes, so I shake my shoes with a telephone pole. I shake and shake. Someone thought I was electrocuted, so they grabbed a stick and gave me two. The doctor asked, how did the patient break his bone? A: I feel sand in my shoes, so I shake my shoes with a telephone pole. I shake and shake. Someone thought I was electrocuted, so they grabbed a stick and gave me two.

34. I watch TV with my sister. My mother came over with two apples. My sister grabbed them and said, "It's all mine. Mother said angrily, "One for each person." Then Lz happily grabbed one from her sister and said with a smile, it's still mom. My mother snatched it from me again, took a bite, and said with a straight face, "It's not you. "

The reporter and the police went to the scene by bus to arrest the suspect. Pol.ice told reporters in the car that our captain had made a survey around the scene. . . Then the reporter pointed to a man outside the car and said that the big fat man in vest, shorts and slippers and a fan in his hand looked suspicious. Could it be a suspect? The policeman said, "That's our captain." . .

36. I was hospitalized with a cold and I asked the nurse when I changed the medicine. Your nurse's uniform is not as good as that on TV. My little sister said without looking back, you are looking at the clothes of Japanese and Korean nurses, not mine.

37.a, I want to know what kind of person my goddess is. I pay attention to her trumpet. B, then what? A, she slapped me in the face and kicked me out of the toilet. It's a trumpet!

Physical education class, the long jump teacher, surprised a fat long jump classmate. The teacher asked him if he could jump into the pit. The fat man proudly said, it doesn't matter where I jump, it's all a pit.

39. Three children chat together and say what is the most poisonous! Children A and mosquitoes are the most poisonous. My brother's hand was bitten by a mosquito, red and itchy. Children B and wasps are the most poisonous. My brother was stung by a wasp and is still swollen and painful. Son c thought for a long time and said, "I don't know what stabbed my sister." Her belly is round and big! "

40. Husband, how lucky I am to find such a good wife in my last life! Wife, it's not your blessing, it's my sin in my last life!

4 1, I just washed my socks and underwear and went to the bathroom. When I came back, I saw my roommate holding my underwear and smelling it all the time! I feel terrible. . . Just then, the goods came, fuck, you used my laundry detergent again. . .

42. Exercise can really change a person's fate. My wife listened to Lao Wang next door and started running with him in the morning five years ago. She hasn't come back yet.

43. Opposite the building where I live is another residential building. Yesterday morning when I was watching the scenery on the balcony, I saw a beautiful girl waving at me from the opposite building through the window, and I waved to her. Then she ran to another window and waved to me, and I waved to her. Then she left again, and I realized it until the third window waved to me again. It turned out that she was cleaning the window.

44. At dusk, I jog on the industrial road. A young man ran up from behind me, screaming in my ear, run! What happened? I asked the young man next to me. Run. The young man ran ahead of me. After chasing 500 meters quickly, I asked breathlessly, what's the matter? You run too slowly. The young man left me and ran away.

45. A man and a woman went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to register, and the office staff asked if there was a premarital medical examination. The woman whispered shyly, I checked, it's been three months!