Weibo's popular classic sentence: If life betrays me, I hope it will be sold by weight.

1. There are always several grandfathers every month. His face changed from red to green, from green to yellow, to blue, to purple, to green, and finally he left me.

You are so old that you have mastered a specialty without learning other skills. You can sleep well without sleeping pills during the day and get excited without stimulants at night.

Don't sing for the rest of your life. Girls don't work hard to make money and don't want to be beautiful. For the rest of your life, you cook, you do laundry, you do housework, you are rejected, and your children are still you.

It is true that crying children have candy to eat. Some people pick up road idiots, some send cowards, and some do not know how to cook. Blx found a shoulder to lean on. On the contrary, you can do anything and do everything by yourself, so you have to be single until now.

I know you won't come with me if I reach out, so I reach out and trip you, and you really stand up and chase me. So I have to admit: since ancient times, we can't be merciful, and we always win people's hearts.

6. I am a white-collar worker. Today, I got paid, paid the rent, water and electricity, bought instant noodles with oil and rice, touched my pocket, and lamented that my salary was white-collar again this month.

7. I don't know where I come from. I don't study hard and do nothing all day, but I always feel that I will make a lot of money one day. This feeling is extremely strong.

8. I found that myopia has become more and more serious recently, and I can't see money when I open my wallet!

9. Every time you are mean to me, I think there is something wrong with you. I'm so cute, you can lose your temper and be speechless!

10, if you want to be with me, please tidy up the relationships around you first, and don't make me jealous, because I'm too lazy to argue with them and tell you.

1 1, in fact, it's not that I don't want to fall in love, but that I don't agree with my own eyes. There is no upper limit for my food intake, but there is no lower limit for my grades. People are ugly, and my friends prefer to stay at home. When you are single, you are always sentimental, and when you have no money, you are willful.

12, I hope you understand that I am open-minded about everything, but this does not affect my grudges.

Funny space: If my friend betrays me, I hope it is by weight.

1. My parents really think I'm lazy and don't like going out. If I have money, you can't even meet my people. When I was a child, my mother and I went to the tailor's shop together. My mother pointed to the electric iron and said, this thing is very hot. Don't touch it! I am very obedient. I didn't touch it. I licked it. That feeling is more exciting than licking the iron railing of Arctic Village in Mohe, Heilongjiang in winter! I might as well wait for my croak. 4. Last night, I finally got my wife to agree, turned off the light, tore off the condom, made a hand, turned on the light and looked at it, which was convenient for the noodle sauce package! W: Tomorrow is the end of the world! Man: I bought a ticket! W: How many people? Man: Two! Woman: You still have a conscience! Man: One is leaving and the other is coming back! 6. I still remember when I went to the cinema to see Titanic, the little brother next to me cried and said, It's too bad. Too bad for heterosexuals. 7. I took a taxi today and sat outside the window all the way. After a while, the driver said, hey, you must be a literate person, right? I said, how can I say this? He said: nowadays, young people have to stare at their mobile phones all the time. I said, master, I just dropped my mobile phone in the toilet. Then we didn't talk all the way, and I continued to watch the scenery. 8. I heard two classmates chatting in the elevator today! One said: the final exam is coming! Next to it, plane with glasses went on to say, it's time to raise your hand, or those teachers will think how well they teach! 9. At the beginning of the new semester, the geography teacher smiled and walked onto the platform and said, I'm Li Jianmin. Everyone knows Li Shimin, the emperor of the Tang Dynasty, right? I don't know him. He can be emperor, but I can't. It can be said that the difference between a word, eternal hate. Li Shimin spilled blood in Xuanwu Gate and killed his own brother. He doesn't talk about justice at all. He doesn't speak justice, and neither do I. Speaking of geography, I was stunned by this new teacher! ! ! 10. I'm going back to kindergarten to be the principal. 1 1. If my friend betrayed me, I hope it was because of my weight. 12. I'm going to bed = I'm going to lie in bed and play with my mobile phone. I want to get up = I want to sit on the toilet and play with my mobile phone. 13. One day, a family caught fire, and both parents escaped, leaving only one son inside. Mother shouted nervously outside the house, son, what are you doing? It's all on fire. It still won't come out. The son replied, I'm wearing socks! Mom added: What socks to wear in case of fire? After five minutes, my son hasn't come out yet. Mother shouted nervously again, Son, what are you doing? Come out, it's on fire. Stay inside. The son said, I'm taking off my socks! 14. After eating wonton, you may be too hungry, but you are not full. When you get home, you change your clothes and go to eat. The proprietress said, young man, eat more if you don't have enough. You don't have to go back and change. You always knew you. 15. My sister came back to the dormitory drunk and pointed to her roommate and said, why are you so ugly? ! My roommate looked angry, and my sister quickly changed her mind and said that she was catching up with me! 16. On the first day of work, the new colleagues didn't know that the company had the practice of handing out fruit after meals. Seeing fruit on the table, he asked me: Why did you give me fruit? I joked: because you are handsome. He looked at me and said, how could you have? 17. My best friend asked me to do him a favor. He wanted to refuse a girl's pursuit, let me pretend to be her boyfriend, and then said I was gay friends, so that the girl wouldn't give up. As a result, she didn't believe us and wouldn't give up until we kissed in front of her. As a result, in order to round up this lie, I kissed my buddy. That night, I received two messages from that buddy: First, thank you for your idea. I finally. The second article was sent wrong. 18. I was naughty when I was a child and was beaten by my father countless times. Once I get into trouble again, I think I must be beaten. Only a note was left: I'm leaving, don't look for me. After shopping for a long time, I had nowhere to go and went home in frustration. When my parents were away, I hid in the closet and fell asleep unconsciously. When I woke up, I heard my mother crying: I told you to stop fighting, but you didn't listen. What should I do now? My dad also sighed: well, look for it first, and never call again. I was relieved and hurried out of the closet. My parents called in turn that night ~ 19. My boyfriend likes to fry steak at home every time. Once I heard a banging sound in the kitchen. I went in and saw my boyfriend cut the meat into pieces and pat it on the chopping board. I asked him: Why did you shoot like this? Boyfriend said: Are you stupid? I don't know if the meat will get bigger when it is swollen! 20. Today, I waited in the waiting room of the railway station. A buddy next to me sleeps with a big bag. He suddenly woke up, turned over and said, lie down! It was stolen again! Then I got up silently and walked to a trash can not far away. I searched for a while and came back silently with my wallet. Dude, how many times have you been stolen? All the experience has been stolen! 2 1. I 18 years old, drive a Mercedes-Benz c63, and have a full house in the Third Ring Road in Beijing and Nanshan in Shenzhen. I don't depend on my parents or friends. These are beautiful sentences that are very popular in Weibo, and I tried to imagine them myself.

First, if you have any dissatisfaction with me, just say it directly in front of me, and don't put it in my ear through other people's mouths.

Second, the sign of a woman's maturity is to learn to be cruel, learn to be independent, learn to smile, and learn to discard unworthy feelings.

I hate myself for letting him into my life, but not into my heart.

Fourth, once bitter, as long as you hold on, one day, you can turn it into a joke.

Five, a person's life is always crazy once, whether for a person, a relationship, a word, or a dream.

6. Not every effort will be rewarded, but every effort must be made. This is an unfair and irreversible proposition.

There is only one reason why you are often confused, that is, at the age when you should work hard, you think too much and do too little.

Eight, I began to try a new life, try to wear different styles of clothes, try to drink different flavors of drinks, and try to dream without you.

I want to live on a farm, sleep until I wake up naturally, have no pressure and breathe fresh air.

Ten, life has honed life, and along the way, I learned to accept it.

Love does not necessarily die, but is separated by space and forgotten by time.

Twelve, you are so far away from me, separated by several cities.

If you are tired, you can go. I'm tired, too. I don't even have the strength to stay

Fourteen, after you left, he stayed with me the longest. Who are you to be jealous? I blame him for taking him so seriously.

Fifteen, it turns out that when you are lonely, you are your own index finger; It turns out that when you miss it, even breathing will hurt; It turns out that a person is a lifetime.

Sixteen, in fact, the best day is nothing more than that you are making him laugh, so warm for a lifetime.

17. It's no use touching someone who doesn't love you a hundred times.

Eighteen, you look like a loser, you can't accept your heart, and you can't forget the past.

Nineteen, I was injured and lost myself, only to find that I am not the only one for you.

Twenty, the wind rolled up the rainstorm like countless whips and hit the window heavily.

Twenty-one, the moment he said he didn't love, the whole small room was crying.

If one day you love someone as much as I love you, you will know how tired I am.

23. Close your eyes, who are you most concerned about, and who are you with when you open your eyes.

In my opinion, a friend who can share joys and sorrows is more than just a companion.

Twenty-five, when you pay, you say you are willing, but when you don't get something in return, you still can't help but care.

Twenty-six, when you determine your own principles, don't give in again and again, learn to say no, and learn to be yourself.

Twenty-seven, spray is a wonderful flower of the sea, but she is more like a dancer, she can let people put aside their troubles and enjoy themselves.

28. Open the window and look up at the sky. Laugh as much as you want, tomorrow is another beautiful day.

Twenty-nine, there are some things we don't have to remember. Even if you don't remember, I don't remember. Time will remember for us.

Some people seem to care nothing about you, but you don't know how many times they have resisted the urge to contact you.

Thirty-one, the most gratifying thing: lovers whose parents are sound and friends can't be stolen, the rest are illusions, don't care too much.

Thirty-two years old, no one to accompany me, no one to help me, so I feel at ease, never like any emotion, I can't afford it.

Thirty-three, when playing computer, my parents are watching, I usually refresh my desktop, I don't watch any news on QQ, and I listen to music calmly.

34. Sometimes I understand that it is the bond between my life and my memory.

Thirty-five, the golden morning sun gradually dyed the eastern sky red, and the high main peak of Huangshan Mountain was dyed deep red by brilliant clouds.

No.36, we only have one lane left.

We can only be friends, no matter how hard I try, I still can't change this reality.

Thirty-eight, many times, efforts are not to get rewards, but to get affirmation.

We are all used to making promises all our lives, but we never think about the result.

I can tolerate your losing your temper with me because I regard you as my friend.

41. If I can't see you happy, I'll close my eyes.

42. The strength of a person lies not in what he can destroy, but in what he can protect!

Forty-three, you are the one I regret after struggling to give up, but I still love you very much.

44. In the future, I will be a beautiful woman, not beautiful, but kind.

45. If you like it, say it; if you hate it, leave. If you don't give up, you will stay, and if you give up, you will be fulfilled. Honest expression is much more enjoyable than timid hiding.

Thank you for teaching me to cry with one eye. You will never see my injury.

47. The best girlfriend is that you have nothing to hide and trust each other. She loves you to death.

48. If you take fewer detours, you will miss the scenery. Anyway, thank you for your experience.

Forty-nine, dusk lights, dim street scenes, if you meet, then play the sadness of this season together.

Fifty, some people forget what they should forget. People don't care, why flatter themselves.

5 1. If you are sad, try to look up at the sky. If you look at it, you will forget ... it is so big that it can certainly accommodate all your grievances.

Fifty-two, later, we took a different road, even the names were so strange.

53. A common mistake people make is to take time to care about those who don't care about you.

54. Go through this miserable life with regret.

55. How dare you lie to me. How dare I not believe you?

56. When will you get married? I'm still waiting to have grandchildren early!

When you can't hold on, you can say "I'm so tired" to yourself, but never admit "I can't" in your heart!

58. Your departure took away the romance of two people, and I learned to love one person.

59. People only have the right to suffer, the right to be happy, the right to be happy, the right to be sad, and the right not to choose.

Sixty years old, I'm not too stubborn, just afraid that no one will give me a shoulder when I'm weak.

The hottest cute sentence sold recently.

1. This young lady won't say anything about you because of your stupidity.

2. Don't treat girls as men.

How can I kiss you in the dark without breaking your lamp?

I love you. It's a big deal for me. I'm hungry.

5. Sell you a lovely one

6. It's especially good to see you in a good mood!

7. The function of the alarm clock is to remind me to sleep in a different position.

8. People just want you to care more!

9. He is my favorite person, and I won't change my sweet ice cream and chocolate.

10. It's very cold. Remember to wear an extra coat. I told you to take it off for me when it's cold.

1 1. I'm not with you.

12. I am not a lovely person, but I must be the one who loves you the most.

13. I ate too much salt, so I always miss you when I am free.

14. I eat my snacks. I grow meat. Whether you are jealous or envious is none of your business.

15. I gave you my favorite doll. Can you give me a hug?

16. I will stay here until you find me. Come on, I want to grow mushrooms.

17. I am easily fooled, but you never try.

18. My cat said something to me. Meow. Meow.

19. I just keep you in my heart. I just love you all the time. What can you do to me?

20. We don't know each other very well. Just call me beauty.

2 1. I am the mouth of the knife and the heart of the axe!

I think you should be very busy now. I just want to say the first three words of this passage to you.

I want to give you a gift that you like very much, but the postman won't let me stay in the paper box.

I tell you in a low voice that I like you very much, and I liked you a long time ago.

25. I want the person I love to love me, hold me in the palm of my hand and treat me as a treasure.

I don't like you at all. Stop thinking about me.

27. Don't try to trick others into hitting you in the chest.

28. I haven't chatted with you for a day, and I feel wrong!

29. Because I am the cutest in the universe, I only allow you to like me.