English jokes

Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 2 years since I began there as a student.

When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear, "She whispered." Perseverance is a virture. "

After many years of obtaining a graduate degree, I returned to new york State University in Binghamton as a faculty member. One day, the elevator was very crowded, and some people complained that the elevator was too inefficient. I said that since I was a student there, the elevator has not been changed for 2 years.

Finally, when the elevator door opened, I felt a sympathetic pat on my back. Looking back, I saw an elderly nun smiling at me. "You will get your degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue."

2. Difference

"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class, " observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say, 'Good afternoon, The graduate responded,' good after noon.' "But the graduate students just write it down."

Distinguish

"It's easy to distinguish graduate classes from undergraduates," said the teacher who taught our graduate students an engineering class at California State University in Los Angeles. "I said' good afternoon' and the undergraduates replied' good afternoon'. Graduate students write down what I said in their notebooks. "

3.Too Long

The travel editor of a newspaper called, saying she was finally using an article I had written several years earlier. She wanted to be sure the tour information was still correct. "I also wan Ted to make sure, "She sheepishly convinced," That you're still alive. When the writer has died, I know I've held a story too long. "

Too long

The travel editor of a newspaper opened the phone and said that she finally decided to adopt an article I wrote a few years ago. She wants to make sure that the tourist information is still reliable. "I want to make sure," she confessed timidly, "that you are still alive. Every time I find that the author is no longer alive, I know that I have pressed the article for too long. "

4.Charge for Bread and Butter

Some years ago, my dad, an attorney, took me to a fancy restaurant in Now York City. When the bill arrived, there was a $1.5 charge for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill, including the charge for bread and butter. However, the next day, he sent a letter to the resturant stating that the charge was uncalled for. Enclosed in the same envelope was a bill for $5 in legal services.

So meone from the restaurant called immediately and asked, "What is this $5 bill for? We never ordered any legal services. "

dad copied," I never ordered any bread and butter. "

The $1.5 was returned without delay.

Bread and butter fee

Several years ago, my father, a lawyer, took me to an upscale restaurant in new york. When the bill came in, there was $1.5 for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill, together with the charge for bread and butter. But the next day, he sent a letter to the restaurant saying that the charge was unreasonable. I also sent you a bill of 5 dollars for legal services.

The restaurant called immediately and asked, "What's with this $5 bill? We have never asked for the services of any legal institution. "

Dad replied, "I never asked for any bread or butter."

the $1.5 was sent back immediately.

5. Sleeping Pills

Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.

Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."

"That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"

sleeping pills

Bob can't sleep at night. He went to see a doctor, who prescribed him some powerful sleeping pills.

Bob took the medicine on Sunday night, slept well and woke up before the alarm clock rang. He got to the office, strolled in and said to the boss, "I didn't have any trouble getting up this morning."

"ok!" The boss roared, "Where did you go on Monday and Tuesday?"