Happy jokes every day.

Happy jokes every day, everyone should be exposed to jokes every day in life. Jokes have many functions and meanings. Many good jokes are attractive and there are many types of jokes. Happy every day is one of them. The following is the joke of Happy Everyday.

Happy daily jokes 1 Happy daily humorous jokes (1)

1. A couple went to a law firm to negotiate a divorce.

Wife: "I asked for a divorce because he never listened to me since I got married."

Husband: "Nonsense! You asked me to go to the law firm this time, didn't I come? ! "

2. Two people are drinking in a bar. A said, "My wife is angry and won't talk to me."

B: "How did you offend her?"

A: "She's going to the beauty salon and asked me for 500 yuan."

B: "and then you didn't give it?"

Answer: "Yes, I gave her 5,000 yuan ..."

There is a football match on TV, and the players are entering the stadium.

The wife put down the newspaper and watched TV for a while. She said to her husband, "The newspaper says that some players and their wives have chaotic private lives. Today, this is true. "

The husband said, "That's off-site. What can you see on the court? "

The wife pointed at the TV and said, "Look at these players and their children. None of them look alike. "

He asked his wife doubtfully, "Why does the wife downstairs always poke the ceiling with a bamboo pole every time you call me a waste?"

Wife: "She means: on the top floor."

Happy daily humorous jokes (2)

1, it turns out that those who leave you when you are in trouble are very unreliable; And only those who are with you when you are in trouble can help you nothing.

2. Some women look good in stockings. There are also some women wearing stockings, which shows that the quality is very good. Ah ~ what a painful realization. . .

I believe in the theory that everything is born. Some people love each other until they are old, while others dislike each other and pester them to death. Therefore, those domineering female men become clever kittens when they meet men who can tidy up your clothes. In the same way, for girls with flat breasts, just wait for a small man to appear.

I often see a sign on the wall of the gym that says "Nothing is impossible" in big letters. Hehe, the person who wrote this word must not have tried to cancel the membership.

5, the good-looking ones are all photographic materials, the ugly ones are called PS materials, and you, the horror film materials.

Happy daily humorous jokes (3)

1, "There is something that changes from red to green, from green to yellow, from yellow to blue, from blue to purple, and finally disappears completely, accompanied by bouts of sadness in my heart ..."

"It is as you say, the color of the rainbow in the sky? ! "

"No, I said that Grandpa Mao's color is in my pocket ..."

In ancient times, a child named Sima Guang was playing in the garden, and a child accidentally fell into a jar full of water. The children panicked, and Sima Guang calmly raised a stone and threw it at the jar. The jar was broken, water flowed out and the child was saved. Everyone praised Sima Guang.

The next day, they went to the river to play. Sima Guang accidentally fell into the river. The children calmly picked up stones from the ground and threw them into the river. Sima Guang died at the age of nine!

3. "A fly fell into your ice cream!"

"What bad luck, you will freeze to death."

4. Once upon a time, two white rabbits helped grandpa finish harvesting carrots. Grandpa happily took out some radishes to reward them. One rabbit left with a radish, but the other said to the old man, I don't want a radish. Please give me some seeds. Grandpa nodded with relief and said, give me your mailbox.

The next day, the rabbit died.

Jokes of Happy Everyday 2 1. A sister was walking down the street with Crazy Love in her hand. She didn't want to rob Lu Yu suddenly and run away with love. Of course, the sisters are not reconciled and start chasing her! ~ at this moment, a man riding a motorcycle came up from behind and shouted confidently, don't panic, I'll help you! When the sisters were moved by the true feelings of the world, I saw the motorcycle catch up with the robber and take him away! !

There is a girl in our shop who is outgoing and has a long smile. We all like to tease her. One day I told her, hey, do you want to rape before you kill or kill before you rape? She looked at me strangely and said loudly, kill first and then rape, you pervert! But calmly said, let's rape first and then kill. Maybe if we rape, we don't want to kill anyone.

Today, I saw two high school lovers on the bus, hugging me and kissing me, and then an uncle came up and slapped the man. I am surprised by all kinds of anger of boys. At this time, the girl called her father in a trembling voice. When gc came, the boy was surprised and called his father. Another slap in the face, I almost laughed.

4. Eat in a restaurant. A big brother at the next table called the waiter. Believe it or not, I can open the beer with my thumb. The waiter said in surprise that he didn't believe it. Eldest brother said flatly, then why don't you bring a bottle?

Today, I am on vacation at home, and my boyfriend is playing hamster. After a short silence, he put his finger on my cheek. I sold a lovely one and held his finger in one bite. He actually wants me to smell how smelly hamster urine is.

6. Drivers, there is air conditioning in the car. Don't blame children for occasionally grabbing the road. It's getting dark after school, and many people have to make up lessons. They looked clumsy in the cold wind. Maybe they are too cold. Hurry home and let them have a rest. You are in the car, you can't feel the cold outside. Please wait patiently for them to cross the road. They are really young ... with or without children, please send a positive energy! ! !

7. My classmates laughed at me and told me the story of Ye San fishing. I have no choice. I told the world that the girl at the cashier was beautiful when he went to the supermarket last time. He deliberately forgot to take the eggs. Sister stopped him and said, your egg. He turned and smiled: No, it's your egg.

8. This is a good parking space. Through the female driver's constant adjustment of reversing, the narrow sense of space finally came to an abrupt end, and the driver slipped after getting off the bus. It seems that this handbrake is not pulled. Best of all, the female driver got off the bus and kicked the car next to her. It's really in distress situation. Why do people bother you after parking?

Happy joke 3 1 every day, always dizzy.

Aunt Zhang is over 70 years old this year and often feels dizzy for no reason. At the urging of his wife, Aunt Zhang came to the hospital diagnosis room. There were many patients, and it was a long time before it was Aunt Zhang's turn. She sat opposite the doctor.

"What's the matter?" The doctor asked without looking up.

Aunt Zhang whispered, "I'm always dizzy."

"You old dizzy? What are you doing here? Let your old man come and sit! "

In the elevator downstairs, I saw an aunt hugging the young man.

Asked why, the buddy looked aggrieved: "I just got into the elevator and remembered not to lock the car." I hurried out to see if I was in a hurry and accidentally farted. "

Aunt nu way: "You wait outside, I kindly press the open button to wait for you."

You came in and farted and left? "

3. far-reaching

I just saw a child eating ice cream in the elevator. Out of concern, I told him smoothly: "such a cold day will be bad for your health!" " " .

The child told me that his grandmother was alive 103 years old.

I asked, "Ice cream?"

He said, "no, my grandmother never meddles!" " "

How profound! Now I finally know why I am aging so fast! Worried, fuck ...

I just dropped eye drops, closed my eyes and flipped through them. When I opened my eyes again, I couldn't see anything.

Scared out of my wits, shouting. It's over! I am blind! ! Dad lit the candle and rushed up. When he saw me in the dark, there were two lines of clear tears on my face. He scolded, you dead child are getting worse and worse! Turn off the electricity and watch it scare you!