Communication

Article | A vast sea of ??arable fields (welcome to pay attention)

Mark Twain is a famous American writer. He is known to the world for his relaxed, humorous and pungent writing style. Not only that, Mark Twain was also an extremely humorous person in life. He always used humorous language to wittily resolve embarrassments and conflicts. There are still dozens of humorous anecdotes about him circulating on the Internet.

There are three stories in it that fully reflect his wit and humor:

It is obvious that even the least intelligent person can hear Mark Twain's "overtones" ", but there is nothing he can do about it. No one will not be impressed by his humorous and ironic way of speaking. In this way, Mark Twain expressed his dissatisfaction without causing quarrels, which can be said to be extremely clever.

Faced with the barber who did not recognize him, Mark Twain did not identify himself on the spot and accept the barber's praise in a condescending way. Instead, he maintained his dignity through humorous self-deprecation. A gesture of humility.

Mark Twain did not directly make any request, but achieved his goal through a humorous sentence. This is the charm of language and the power of humor. If Mark Twain had put it bluntly, he would have suffered a lose-lose situation and had to endure mosquito bites.

We all admire and envy Mark Twain's humor, but how can we learn his humorous way of speaking and make ourselves humorous?

Some people believe that a sense of humor is innate. Some people are born with a sense of humor, while others are destined to have a "hard-faced face." In fact, this is not the case. A sense of humor can also be gradually acquired through cultivation. It’s just that everyone’s level of humor is different.

If you want to cultivate your own sense of humor and make yourself humorous, you must first pay attention to the following two points and avoid two misunderstandings.

Many people think that the synonym of humor is funny, which means telling jokes, but this view is wrong. Humor is never just about telling jokes.

The original meaning of humor in ancient China was quiet and silent. Later, Mr. Lin Yutang introduced it and translated humor in English into humor. Only then did the word "humor" have its current meaning, which means humorous and meaningful. profound. Mr. Lin Yutang pointed out, "Humor can be divided into broad and narrow senses. In Western usage, it often includes vulgar jokes... In the narrow sense, humor is different from sarcasm, ridicule, and ridicule. These three or four styles, They all contain elements of laughter...Among all styles, humor is the most emotional." It can be seen that humor is self-contained and not a collection of funny things. Although telling jokes is a kind of humor, humor is not just about telling jokes. The joke is so simple.

In life, some people can always use self-deprecation, joking, analogies, etc. to mobilize emotions, activate the atmosphere, and make people feel relaxed and comfortable during conversations; but it is our turn to "perform" However, he always messed up everything, "all the tricks", and used all kinds of tricks, but the atmosphere was often more embarrassing, and he was nicknamed "The King of Cold Scenes". Why is this happening?

This is because our performance is too deliberate. When we have just listened to a joke, we do feel funny, but the laughter only lasts for a few seconds. When we calm down, we find that it has nothing to do with the topic of communication, so we no longer find it interesting. . Do we have to keep telling jokes during chat? In that case, there will be no way to chat.

Humor is not a momentary action, but a lasting state. A truly humorous person will use local materials to create content that makes people smile based on what they see and hear, create a relaxed atmosphere, and use humorous language to make people laugh from the bottom of their hearts. Be happy and happy instead of feeling stiff and chaotic.

Since a sense of humor cannot be cultivated by telling jokes, and since humor requires local materials, can you show your sense of humor by teasing or even making fun of others?

Some people simply think of it this way, and even apply it to chatting. In a chat environment between two or even multiple people, they "do whatever it takes" to expose other people's shortcomings, repeat other people's previous embarrassing things in public, and even conduct personal attacks. It seems like they are imitating what they see in some variety shows, teasing each other, "trolling" and "taunting" each other.

But don’t forget that variety shows are all negotiated in private, but chatting in real life is improvised. If the performance is not good, the chat will collapse.

Such behavior may make the third party as an audience feel fresh and interesting, but the person involved will be embarrassed or even angry. And no one would think such behavior was humorous. When we call a person a "venomous tongue", it rarely means praise, but more of helplessness and disgust.

If we really can’t find anything to draw from and still want to show our sense of humor, then let’s laugh at ourselves. The premise is that it is not harmful, does not belittle ourselves, and does not hurt innocent people, then Self-deprecation is also a form of humor.

To become humorous, you need to learn to take two steps: the first step: capture the atmosphere; the second step: create the atmosphere. This way you can avoid embarrassing both of you.

· About capturing the atmosphere. In chatting, the atmosphere is very important and determines our speaking style and propriety. If you are in a deadlocked situation, humor can play a role in relaxing it; if you are in a serious and solemn occasion, humor is inappropriate. Therefore, if you want to use your own humor, you first need to determine whether the atmosphere is suitable. In daily communication, only after we capture the atmosphere of the scene and determine that the atmosphere is suitable for humor can we proceed to the next step: creating a humorous atmosphere.

· About creating an atmosphere. Mark Twain's excellence lies in his ability to create a humorous atmosphere and create a relaxed atmosphere. Looking at his humorous stories and humorous words, we can find a main feature of the atmosphere he created: reverse thinking.

Mark Twain's words often break the fixed logic and give people unexpected answers, which make people feel novel and relaxed and humorous.

For example, someone played a trick on Mark Twain and published news of his death in a newspaper. As a result, relatives, friends and readers flocked to express their condolences. Faced with such a scene, Mark Twain was not angry, but said humorously: "The report of my death is absolutely true, but the date has been moved forward."

He did not mean directly. To criticize in a fair way, we did not emphasize "life", but changed the angle and started from the perspective of "death". Through this kind of reverse thinking answer, not only will the people who come to express condolences feel a lot more relaxed, but Mark Twain and the rumormongers will also be able to compare their minds.

Therefore, if we want to be humorous in chat, we can try reverse thinking and use reverse thinking to enliven the atmosphere and resolve embarrassment. This method is a hundred times smarter than simply telling jokes.

Humor is not someone’s patent. We can learn from and learn from it to understand and even master this popular chat style and become a humorous person.

But if some people really can’t find the trick to humor and can’t use humor well, don’t force it. After all, “flowers are red in a hundred ways, and people are different.” Mark Twain There is only one. We can understand the basic methods of humor, master basic communication etiquette, ensure that we don't say the wrong thing, and at the same time, don't bear the psychological burden for the sake of humor, and that's it.

We have to remember: in chatting, you don’t have to be humorous, but please don’t be pretentious. Not being humorous is not annoying, but deliberately trying to be humorous is often self-defeating.

I am a plowable field in the sea

Always insist on being true to my heart

Always insist on being different

If you like the article, click on it ?, add a follow.