Recommend a few jokes

A reporter interviewed 100 penguins and asked them what they do all day. The first one said: Eat and sleep to fight peas, and the second one said: Eat and sleep to fight peas. I have been asking 99 of them. When I asked100th, I said: Eat and sleep. The reporter asked: Why not fight peas? Penguin said: I'm fucking peas, your grandmother.

When I was in college, I went to Hengshan to play. I was halfway up the mountain. I was so tired that I just wanted to have a rest when I saw an Obasan buying souvenirs by the roadside. I went up and asked, "Wife ..."

2. Once I was driving, a beautiful colleague hitchhiked. As soon as I sat next to it, I was very nervous and said, wear a condom! Beauty will never talk to me again. . . Depression ING

3. Before, others came to menstruation's house and just entered the door. It happened that my aunt was going to the bathroom. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, sit down, I'll pour you some urine!" " "I should pour some tea.

During my internship, I said to a teacher: Teacher Chen, is your surname Chen?

Our university went to the factory for metalworking practice, and the master said: For safety reasons, try to ensure that one male classmate and one female classmate have one bed. At that time, all the boys burst into laughter and the girls blushed. During my internship, I did almost all the lathe work for the girls who shared my bed. Finally, considering that she can't do anything, the master didn't check it well, so I advised her to practice. Who knows, she said, I'm used to letting you do it. At that time, I occasionally suddenly felt cold.

6. A friend went to the dumpling shop and asked, "How much is a bowl of jiaozi (for sleeping)?" Just listen to the waitress "bah!" He cried and said, "shameless!" ~

7. During the self-study class, everyone was watching the review. GG said to MM, "I just finished reciting the words, help me write them down." MM doesn't want to be silent, GG asks her, you (touch) me, (touch) me! ! As a result, MM couldn't stand it, shouting, teacher, you see I don't want to (touch) him, but he insisted that I (touch) him ~ ~! ! !

8. I went to my classmate's house for dinner and drank some wine one day. Her father suddenly came in. He wanted to call uncle, but he made a mistake and said, "Dad, come and sit down!" " ~ ~ cold! A bunch of classmates laughed to death.

9. My colleague had a quarrel with someone and opened his mouth in a hurry. "Do you think I grew up eating?" I've always wondered what he grew up eating. "

10. In primary school, a very annoying boy asked me to borrow an eraser. If I don't borrow it, he will pester me and hit me. Then I shouted with all my strength, "I won't marry (borrow) you." At this time, my classmates immediately quieted down.

1 1. In the computer class, a classmate had a problem with the machine and shouted "Boss, change the machine!" The whole class is ruthless.

13. I joked with mm: "Don't say you know me, it will affect my reputation!" Mm said, "Do you have children? Can you have children? " `

14. I am a male. I was sick in Guangdong, and I couldn't speak. I went to see a doctor. The doctor told me that Yin Dao was inflamed. I take a closer look, and the diagnosis says inflammation of the pharynx.

15. Buy a computer, the boss offers 4 150, and I counter-offer: boss 4 10, why ~ ~ the boss is dizzy!

17. A girl was lovelorn. I advised her: "Two-legged toads are hard to find, and there are many men with three legs!" "

18. When there is labor class in primary schools, weeding is usually done, so the teacher had to remind us to bring hoes the day before school starts. The next day, when the labor class was about to leave, the teacher asked, "How many people brought it?" Hands up, hoe! "

19. enlighten a lovelorn. . Classmate, do you know what * * * * is?

20. In junior high school Chinese class, someone recited Mao Zedong's poem: A generation of coquettish, ......

2 1. A teacher, today, we go to class, Yang Xiuzhi's shit. 22. Once in ktv, I ordered songs, and a mm shouted: Give me a "double Jay" with a stick every week. ......

23. When I was a sophomore, I especially liked going out shopping by bike with a MM in my dormitory. Dressed up, they got into the elevator together. Suddenly, I remembered that the car seemed to be flat, so I said to her, "Why don't you come with me to have an abortion first?" ~ ~ ~ days .......

24 .. There were a lot of people in the car, and an evil man shouted: Mom stepped on me.