Urgent for jokes!

Where's Xiaoming? He will have an exam tomorrow, but he is watching TV in the evening.

Xiao Ming's mother asked anxiously: Have you finished all the books? There will be an exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming replied brightly: Mom, I finished reading it.

Xiao Ming's mother praised Xiao Ming happily: Good boy, then you must do well in the exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming cried and said, Mom, I mean,' Mom, I think it's over'.

Xiao said to Xiao B: dig the plug ... it's raining outside! ! Have you seen it?

Xiao B is very excited: Yes, I see you.

Xiao Ming returned to the classroom after going to the toilet and said to the teacher:

There are many ants in the toilet.

The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant for ants, so he tested Xiaoming: What did the ants say?

Xiao a face of vacant ... Said:

Ant, he said nothing.

Children's jokes are so cute.

1 Mom tells Pippi to get up: "Get up quickly! The rooster has crowed several times! " Pippi said, "What does cock crow have to do with me? I am not a hen! "

Dad told his daughter that she was often hungry when she was a child. After hearing this, the daughter had tears in her eyes and asked sympathetically, "Oh, Dad, did you come to our house because you didn't have food?"

Tong Tong asked his mother, "Why do you call Mr. Jiang an ancestor?" Mother said, "Because' ancestor' is the name of the deceased." Tong Tong said: "Will those dead grandmothers be called' fresh milk'?"

Mother often says to Xiaomei, "You can't swing in a skirt, or the little boy will see the underwear inside!" One day, Xiaomei said happily to her mother, "Mom, I played on the swing with Xiaoming today, and I won!" " "Mother said angrily," didn't I tell you? Don't put on a skirt! " Xiaomei said proudly, "But I'm so smart! I took off my underwear so that he couldn't see my underwear! "

My daughter was curious about the navel, so she asked her father. Dad simply explained the reason why the umbilical cord connects the fetus and the mother, saying that after the baby left the mother, the doctor cut off the umbilical cord and tied a knot, which later became the navel. The daughter said, why doesn't the doctor tie a bow?

Xiaoming goes to grandma's birthday party. When it's time to eat birthday buns, Xiao Ming asks, "Why do we eat this kind of birthday buns like ass?" They listened to the face big change. Then Xiao Ming opened the handbag, looked at the bean paste inside and said, "Grandma, look! There is also shit in it! " Everyone fainted, vomited and vomited.

Father: Pierre, don't go to school today. Your mother gave birth to two little brothers for you last night. Just tell the teacher. Pierre: Dad, I only said that I gave birth to one. I want to save the other one for next week when I don't want to go to school.

Buck's father is sitting on a park bench to rest. A child stood by him for a long time and never left. Buck was very surprised and asked, "Angel, why do you always stand here?" The child said, "This stool has just been painted. I want to see what you look like when you stand up. "

One day after school, a little boy asked his mother, "Mom, where am I from?" Mother thinks this question is not easy to answer, but she should take this opportunity to educate her children, taking cats and dogs as examples, and seriously talk about the reproductive process. After listening to this, the son said in a daze, "How did this happen? My deskmate said that he is from Shanxi! "

10 My two-and-a-half-year-old daughter often says some ridiculous things. One day watching Africans dance on TV, she suddenly asked, "Mom, why doesn't this uncle wash his face?"

Mom: Pierre, do you want some cookies? Pierre didn't respond. His mother asked, Pierre, do you want a biscuit? Pierre said, yes, mom. Mom said: Why should I ask you twice? Pierre: Because I want to eat two tablets.

12 little boy: I want to buy that sanitary towel. Attendant: Did your mother ask you to buy it? Little boy: No. Attendant: Is that your sister? Little boy: No. I want to buy it. Attendant: Why buy sanitary napkins? Little boy: I watched TV and said: With it, you can swim, skate and play tennis.

The kitten went to kindergarten. One day, the teacher asked: Who knows how many countries there are in the world? The kitten said: I know! The teacher said: Then tell me which countries there are. The kitten said: There are two countries, namely China and foreign countries!

14 The child eats at his aunt's house, and her aunt cooks fish for him. The child said while eating: this fish is delicious, it would be better if it didn't put thorns!

15 The six-year-old daughter asked seriously, "Mom, are there any legs on the table?" ? "Mom:" Of course it has legs, otherwise how can it stand up? "Daughter:" Then why doesn't it go? "

16, the son said: The baby squatted in the mother's stomach first, then climbed into his mouth, and the mother spat at me, and the child came out!

17, the baby was sleeping, and a mosquito flew to his ass. Dad drove away the mosquitoes and put some toilet water on the baby's ass. The baby woke up with a start and shouted, Mom, the mosquito just peed on my ass!

18, take adzuki bean to the city wall to play. Xiaodou suddenly saw the children who were sketching. He looked at them for a long time and then asked me, Uncle, they must be very poor, right? How difficult it is for them to draw like this. Why not buy a camera? How convenient it would be!

19, Mom, how did I grow up? Lele looked at her childhood photos and asked curiously. As soon as my mother heard the opportunity of education came, she said, You were raised by your mother. Lele cried as soon as she heard it: How did you give me this? Whoo ~ ~

20. In the evening, mom and dad are showing videos taken for their younger brother during the day. The younger brother came in to have a look, and immediately shouted: Piracy! Rushed up to turn off the TV, and then solemnly patted his chest and said, don't watch pirated copies, just watch the genuine ones if you want.

2 1. I rented a room in the east of the city The landlord has a son who is six years old. He is naughty, clever and cute, especially famous for imitating. Because I am still young, there are often high-level quotations and behaviors that are recorded. When I came home the next day, the landlord's son saw me and confidently pointed out that this uncle said it. Let his father laugh and cry. It turned out that the landlord's son was dissatisfied with the food and always wanted to eat cat meat before I went home. Ask why. He said that if he ate it, he could grow long white hair like his beloved kitten. Oh, I know. Yesterday, the little guy asked me why there were so many long hairs on my legs. I told him that it was because I ate pork and pigs were hairy that they grew.

22. When my baby was two years old, I went to the aquarium with my little aunt for the first time to see marine life. Menstruation asked him what fish was in the tank, and she always replied: Braised fish.

23. Beibei accidentally broke his forehead, and his mother painted him with some purple potions. Searle, who was painting, saw it and asked, Ah, who painted it on your head? What a bad guy!

24. Eating steamed buns at home, the baby said to his father: Give me a bag! Dad said to Xin Wei: Don't say Bao, say Bao Zi. The baby nodded to show that he remembered. At night, the baby suddenly pointed to his father's arm and said, Dad, your arm was bitten by a mosquito!

25. When eating, Beibei grabbed a napkin and dipped some soup in the bowl. Then she pointed to her father's nose and said in surprise, yo, what a snot.

26. My colleague's daughter is under three years old. One day, my colleague woke up from a nap and found that all the children around him were gone. When I turned around, I saw the little thing sitting in front of the dresser, wiping her face with cosmetics, turning her red lips and laughing through her mother's teeth and saying, "Do you think I'm as white as milk?"

27. My little nephew liked sleeping when he was a child. He slept until the sun found his face. Poor shout: Turn off the lights! Turn off the lights! After telling him it was the sun, he shouted impatiently: Turn off the sun!

28. One of her colleagues has a 6-year-old daughter who has started to change her teeth. Her mother took her back to work after her tooth was pulled out. My mother asked her, "Does your tooth still hurt?" The little girl's answer made everyone around her laugh: "Oh, I left my tooth in the hospital. I don't know if it hurts! " "

29. My little niece is 4 years old now, and there are many interesting things. . Her grandmother taught her a toast all afternoon at the Chinese New Year family reunion. On the wine table in the evening, the little nephew picked up his glass and began to say, "Well, I wish my grandparents first, well, well." . Drink ~ ~ "She fell down on the spot, and she forgot all about it:) Later, her grandmother said, she said, what happened to her health and how was her work? Now she is excited, one by one, turning around, not enough, say, wish again:)

30. I go out to school once a semester and go to my sister's house for the first time after I go back. My little niece just took a nap and didn't call me anything when she saw me. The whole family said, "My uncle is closest to you. Call me uncle. " The little guy pretended not to hear, but didn't scream. . So I discussed with them and pretended to ignore her. Everyone was chatting and no one asked her. After a while. The little guy came to pull my clothes and said "uncle". I pretended to be angry. "You didn't call me just now, and now it's too late!" She looked very wronged and said, "Uncle, I didn't wake up just now and didn't recognize you ..." I fainted on the spot ~ ~