Classic jokes that are particularly funny every day.

Classic jokes that are particularly funny every day

If you have nothing to do, watch more funny jokes, which can not only kill time, but also add fun to life. Why not? The following are the classic jokes that I have compiled for you every day. I hope you can like them.

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excerpts from classic jokes that are particularly funny every day

1. The chairman asked the new general manager:? Everyone doesn't pay attention to every meeting. What can we do? The general manager said: This is easy to handle. Don't ask the secretary to attend the meeting. After the meeting, we will announce who will take the minutes this time. ?

2. The apprentice said? When I was at school, I thought about how good it would be to go to work, but when I went to work, I felt very boring. Why not go to school? The master said:? People like you are people who can't learn at school and can't do well at work. What can you do but go to school? ，? The apprentice asked curiously:? What can I do with that? The master said:? Hang yourself! ?

3. The headmaster recognized one of his former students: Are you John? Yes, principal? You see, I never forget the students' names. What do you do to teach under you now? .

4. Today, when I watched my wife kill fish, she was all thumbs and deliberately humiliated her. Do you have anything to do with pigs? Wife:? Hey, hey, relationship?

5. share a little truth in life: you don't have to worry about what you are afraid of happening, because it will come as scheduled.

6. When buying clothes, the shop assistant (said contemptuously): This dress is very expensive, so don't touch it if you don't buy it. Jane doe: It seems that you are rich? If you have money, you won't sell it!

7. After the World Cup, I feel extremely depressed. After all, I can't find such a good reason to justify my procrastination in a short time.

8. father:? The letter I asked you to bring this morning, throw it into the lift? Did you report it? Son:? Lift? Report? Oh, yes, you forgot to write your name, or I added it! ?

9. Fengtian transportation, the emperor said: Mindful of Aiqing's loyalty and hard work, I gave Aiqing the right to shop for free. How to get it: Take this short message to the nearby shopping mall and choose the goods you need at will. If he gives you everything, it will be fine. If he doesn't pick it up, he will run. Qin this! Note: The final interpretation right of this message belongs to me.

1. If you want to stay with me, you have to live with me first! I'll be yellow after I live, and I'm so crazy! I'll be there when I'm done. I'm so cool I'll dump it when I'm done. I'll just drag it!

11. I'm sorry that I can still give you a moment's silence at this inappropriate time, except harassment. If you wake up carelessly, I'll remind you to cover the quilt and turn off your phone when you sleep again!

12. A friend gave birth to a son and sent a message to a circle of friends, saying: I'm very happy about the arrival of my son, but my wish to find a rich son-in-law for the rest of my life has failed. Another idiot friend replied: Your son may find a boyfriend in the future? MD, I'm going to fight by taxi now.

13. chatting with QQ is called online dating; Call and fool, call contact; Send a text message to fool, call hello. If you don't care, it's called fake flicker, and if you bring sincerity and blessings, it's called true flicker. I wish you all the best and will be fooled once!

14. I will send a short message worth RMB 1 cents to all my brothers and sisters who have a certain position in my heart and are handsome and beautiful. I will treat you to a five-star hotel tomorrow? Watch people eat! Please bring your own napkin, so as not to wet your clothes with saliva. I wish you all a happy look and a happy flow.

15. Yesterday, I was lucky enough to meet the old gentleman on the Grand Master and gave me an elixir. Now we are also in a state of great concern, but something terrible happened immediately: I can see many monsters every day, and the important thing is that I actually found you? A slacker.

16. My aunt checked the dormitory last week, but everyone didn't get up in the morning. Aunt criticized why our dormitory was not cleaned, and everyone just wanted to refute it. Aunt said, I really find that the more beautiful the little girl is, the lazier she is.

17. One day, Xiaoqiang ate too much and left in a hurry, and ran into a beautiful girl. Xiaoqiang was about to apologize, but his stomach complained and threw up. The beautiful girl looked at Xiaoqiang and asked angrily, Am I so disgusting?

18. A tortoise fell to the ground and kicked around. Sparrow asks: Are you dancing Korean street dance? Tortoise replied: No, I'm practicing carp fighting.

19. streaking is an outdoor sport that shows courage, speed and figure impromptu, regardless of venue and gender. The sport originated in Europe and America, and has produced many fans in China in recent years. Recently, boys in Hangzhou streaked to protest against the school's power failure, and photos were printed on T-shirts for sale, which made them as famous as Zeng Ge and led the streaking new fashion. Weak ask: Today, did you run naked?

2. Want it? Miss? One day, after three boring Chinese classes in a row, the teacher refused to give up. Finally, Bao couldn't help shouting, I want to urinate! The teacher was furious: How dare you shamelessly ask for "Miss" in my class? Appreciate the classic jokes that are particularly funny every day

1. How are you? I miss you? Recently, I always dream of walking with you on that grass. If we still have a chance, let's say weakly: only eat grass and don't pee anywhere!

2. When grandpa was dying, he called his young and ignorant grandson to the bed and said with his last breath:? Son, this world? Be an official! ? The little grandson is an obedient child, and he firmly remembers his grandfather's words before he died. Many years later, he finally became the best coffin maker in the village.

3. The biology teacher asked: What are the advantages of having two eyes? A wonderful flower in the class blurted out: one is blind and the other is blind.

4. Lao Zhang went to the city for a holiday and came to a high-class hotel. The waiter took him to his room. Lao Zhang said angrily, let me live in such a small room! ! Waiter: Don't be angry, sir! This is the elevator.

5. The most talented school slogan: Congratulations to the parents of our students, Comrade Yang Liwei, for becoming the first astronaut who successfully flew into space in China!

6. cultivate the eight-character decision of fertility, saying: Walsh is intended to be a monk, and it is intended to be a monk. Read aloud five times on the balcony every morning, and you will be alert and have a good appetite. For your own health, you must stick to it!

7. When you know that others speak ill of you, don't complain about others. You must reflect on yourself more. Who made you so good?

8. I will send a short message worth RMB 1 cents to all my brothers and sisters who have a certain position in my heart and are handsome and beautiful. I will treat you to a five-star hotel tomorrow? Watch people eat! Please bring your own napkin, so as not to wet your clothes with saliva. I wish you all a happy look and a happy flow!

9. The church girl said to an old man, Please donate some money for God. The old man waved his hand: Don't bother you. I'm sure I'll see God before you, and I'm going to give him the money directly then.

1. If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smarter, then you may have to eat at least a pair of whales?

11. President of a small country: The enemy is invading. How many soldiers do we have to fight? Minister of Defence: 4. President: Can the Air Force support it? The minister made a phone call and replied: not today, the pilot is sick!

12. For the sake of a good friend, I'll tell you a top secret good news. Housing rental, good lighting performance, no air conditioning, pure natural wind, no living room, bedroom, kitchen and toilet, eating and drinking Lazar all together, the price is very cheap, only two pounds a month. Address: the second bridge opening of Chengnan Bridge.

13. Are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, but you have to throw stones at my head!

14. When I develop my abdominal muscles, and someone asks for directions later, I will open my coat and point to my stomach and say, Look, big sister, you are at this intersection, going north and going south. Go south and walk three blocks. You will see a big telephone pole on a meadow.

15. In the past, when the alarm clock rang, I often had the problem of patting it before going back to sleep, but since I put three mouse traps next to the alarm clock, my problem has been eradicated.

16. Dad hit me twice today, the first time because he saw my two-point report card, and the second time because the report card was from his childhood.

17. A Zi complained to me: Every time my boyfriend comes to a critical moment, it seems that when he was with others a few years ago, he was suddenly frightened and left a shadow. Was it because he was scared by the police's sudden rounds? No, it was when he was about to gc, his ex-girlfriend suddenly exploded.

18. I want to go to the sea with you but I can't grasp the future of Mo Ce; I want to climb the mountain with you, but I am full of confusion about my future ideals; I wanted to go shopping with you, but the police refused. He said: no walking the dog!

19. Can we find a place to have a drink and make friends? Or should I just give you my wallet?

2. These are not junk! I collect antiques! Of course, you can throw it away if you don't like it. A selection of classic jokes that are particularly funny every day

1. Home decorator: I'm too lazy to cook. I go to my neighbor's house every day to rub rice, and finally I cured my acne because I was too thick-skinned.

2. If Beethoven is the father of symphony, does it mean that Beethoven's father is the master of symphony?

3. I have always been by your side, and I have repeatedly worried about you. Are you full today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I always knew that you just couldn't take care of yourself. Whenever I walked away, you jumped out of the pigsty.

4. Ten years later, the court sentenced the murderer to death for the second time.

5. I have lost all my money, furniture and clothes. Now I go out like an Arab.

6. Everyone! Today is the 1th anniversary of my wife's 3th birthday!

7. Dear users, your phone bill balance is less than that of .1 yuan. Please pay the phone bill in the near future: selling children, selling women, selling rice, selling iron and selling some blood, selling houses, selling land and selling wives. Thanks for your cooperation! China Telecom.

8. My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months, so I have no chance to interrupt her.

9. Life is really boring. Last month, a buddy of mine borrowed 4, yuan from me and said that he would have a plastic surgery. Now I have no idea what he has become.

1. You are the sun in my heart, but it's raining. You are the moon in my dream, but it is covered by clouds; You are the most beautiful flower in my heart, but it has bloomed; You are the Chang 'e in the sky, but your face landed first? ;