Complete works of classic funny lines and dialogues

Selected Classic Funny Conversations (Hot)

1. 1. Maybe one day, when you put on your wedding dress, I will have put on my cassock. Brushing your teeth is a bittersweet thing, because you have a cup in one hand and a washing utensil in the other. Go your own way and let the cat and dog talk. 4. On that day, you said you hated me, and I laughed, which tore my heart out. It turns out that love never left, but I remember, but you forgot. 6. The secret of longevity is to keep breathing and not to die.

2. I just saw a few very SE jokes and immediately sent them to my classmates on Q, but he said: Don't send these YD things! I was a little flustered and asked, are you so-and-so? He said: I am. I breathed a sigh of relief and said, I thought you were not in front of the computer. He said: The problem is that I am not the only one in front of the computer.

My little nephew is very fat. Yesterday, he slept naked, and he was full of meat. I said, you should lose weight. Mimi is so big. He said, aunt, I understand that you are flat-chested and you are jealous.

I once liked a girl in my class, but later I gave up: she liked the boy with the same name who went to work! You also sent a text message asking me what to do! The two men were sitting in front of me when they hooked up. Can you imagine that feeling: the girl you secretly love is lying in someone's arms calling your name? ...

Someone brought his girlfriend back, and his friends felt familiar when they saw her. "Girl, what did you do before? How do I look more familiar? " "Import and export." "wow! I remember, I remember, you sold me food! "

6.IOS is like Aoi sora, the most popular has passed, and it is aesthetically tired, but it has the highest popularity and reputation. Android, like Yuu Asakura or Yoshizawa Akiho, will be more exciting after the release peak. WP7, like Rina Nakanishi, comes from a famous family and has a bright future, but it still needs to be done. Webos is like Minori Hatsune, I don't know much, but I'm a diehard. Blackberries, like spiced flowers, are strong enough for business, and they are no longer distributed. Saipan? Okubo Matsuo. (@ Sexy Corn)

7. A roommate was taking a bath, and water got into his eyes and wanted to wash it. As soon as he was in a hurry, he said to the person next to him, classmate, I'm out of my mind. I'll wash it first!

8. In the next month, you are willing to be a study partner. No matter whether you are poor or rich, no matter how sleepy or tired you are at the computer or mobile phone, no matter whether you want to eat or sleep, you should put your study first, aim at not failing, stand by her through thick and thin, cherish her, respect her, understand her and protect her. Are you willing to do this? Yes, I have!

9. In fact, if you like a girl, buy her more food. If you gain weight, it's yours. .

10. When Luo Yonghao smashed the Siemens refrigerator, I especially wanted to call on users from Rejoice, Head & Shoulders, Sassoon, Pan Ting and clairol to scrape 10 kg of dandruff off their heads in a few years, and millions of people flooded the P&G headquarters building with dandruff. Every bottle called your mother says "anti-dandruff shampoo", which can't be washed off after n years of use. (@ Wang Wei)

Selected Classic Funny Conversations (Classic)

1. It was cold, and a notice appeared on the door of the study room for postgraduate entrance examination, which impressively said, "If you don't close the door, you won't be admitted." Then you meet everyone who goes out and closes the door devoutly.

I have a crush on a woman for a long time. One day, this woman suddenly found me and asked me out for a walk! So, I dress up in various ways. I went to pick her up, and there was a man standing at her door! Then she saw me coming and said, honey, let's go! Then he said to the man: I just need to spread my legs and there will be a man! You are fucking Jb! Then he dragged me away and said to me, thank you! I won't treat you badly tonight. ...

The tutor was giving a lecture when suddenly the telephone rang. He took it out and looked at it and said to us, "I don't answer most people's phones, let alone attend classes, but this person's phone is very important to me, and I can't help answering it." Please forgive me. " Then "Hello, this is XXX…… ... Oh, you have the wrong number!"

4. Isn't the alias for 33 days of lovelorn called Xian Xia Chuan? . .

Xiaoming's father hit him twice yesterday. The first time Xiao Ming was seen by his father holding a test paper with only 20 points, and then he was beaten. After typing, Xiao Ming's father discovered that the test paper was his childhood, so he beat Xiao Ming again.

6. Q: When does your cat have the biggest head? You don't wash your hair when you take a shower. ...

7. The bus was crowded, and the conductor shouted to the people who were about to get on the bus, "Don't get on the bus again, there are no seats left!" A fat MM on the bus suddenly wants to get off here. As soon as she got out of the car door, the conductor shouted, "Quick, quick!" " ! You can also go to three places. "

8. Sanmao went to the hair salon to do her hair, and said to the stylist, braid my hair. The stylist accidentally dropped a San Mao's hair. San Mao said with a sigh, then divide it. But the stylist accidentally lost his root again. Sanmao saw it and was very angry. Do you want me to have long hair?

9. Two pupils go to an Internet cafe to play games. On the way, they fought. Student A stopped to look, and student B shouted impatiently, "What are you looking at? You can't increase your experience just by looking at it! "

10. Teachers are teachers because they know many things we don't know ... such as where are we? ....

Selected Classic Funny Conversations (Selected Articles)

1. It is said that people with big faces can't use touch-screen mobile phones because they hang up when they smile. ...

2. What girls want is "I'll pick you up", not "Shall I pick you up"; What we want is "going to the movies", not "going to the movies"; What you want is "buy", not "want"; I want "marry me", not "marry me"; Don't keep asking questions, respect and care are not here, remember, all you have to do is her answer!

3. The belly will get bigger eventually. Instead of waiting for someone else to get pregnant, it's better to cry and eat ... and forget about caution.

My cousin has a 5-year-old daughter! Chat at will while eating to tease the children! Me: XX, what will you do when you grow up? XX: Make a lot of money and buy a car for my parents! Cousin and brother-in-law were moved by this ... I: You have a car at home and need to buy them a new car? XX: Yes, I want to use that car and buy a new one for my parents! Cousin Cousin's expression is full of pride and happiness. . . Me: What car should I buy? XX: tricycle. . . Everyone was surprised and puzzled ~ ~ ~ Me: Why? XX: Let them sell vegetables! Who told them to let me study every day? . .

(1). Wonderful and cool opening remarks (2). Introduction to the opening remarks of our company (3). Humorous speech prologue (4). Two humorous talk show lines (5). Complete the talk show lines suitable for students (6). Children's funny talk show lines (3) (7). About Qiong Yao. The complete works of funny classic lines (8). The unreasonable dialogue of Qiong Yao's classic lines (9). 40 classic lines of Qiong Yao's love (10). Thanks and praise lines of leading cadres after their speeches (2)

5. A male college student is very thin. He found a girlfriend in his senior year. He is a little fat. They are almost the same height. I think his girlfriend is suitable for him. But after two months together, the man gained a lot of weight, estimated to be at least 30 Jin, and gained several laps. One day at noon, he took a nap and everyone else was playing computer in the dormitory. I heard him say loudly in his sleep, "I really can't eat any more." Do not let me eat. " Everyone else laughed after hearing this.

6. quarreling with your boyfriend makes you more excited. Finally, you are furious: "Even if you are the only man in the world, I won't talk to you." My boyfriend also roared: "Tell you, if I am really the only man in the world, do I still need to talk to you?"

7. Reporter: Which province do you want to travel to most? Han Han: Sichuan. Reporter: hey ~ it's not because someone is from Sichuan, is it? Han Han: Don't speculate. I just want to climb up. Reporter: Which one? Han Han: Siguniang Mountain.

8. Go out for a midnight snack. Halfway through the meal, the proprietress mysteriously came to me and said, "Do you want a girl?" . I was happy at that time and thought the service industry was too developed. I said, let's buy one. Two minutes later, the proprietress served a plate of duck head.

9. A buddy caught a cold one day and saw a girl taking medicine in class. He asked, "What are you eating?" The girl paused, then blushed and said, "Cold medicine." When he got excited, he immediately said, "I just caught a cold." Give me one. " Then he caught one and ate it. Afterwards, I saw that his face was blue and his mouth was white. Asked what happened to him, he said, "Shit, she took dysmenorrhea medicine." As soon as this language came out, the thunder fell.

10. A female master wanted to ask her tutor a question in the middle of the night and sent a text message saying, "Is the teacher asleep?" The result was labeled "Is the teacher asleep?" Then. ;