Classic joke set: the doctor says you can eat whatever you want! That's even scarier.

"Tell the truth!"

"You are so dark!"

2, the street can be cold, last night for a walk, my husband came and took my hand and asked me if I was cold?

I said my face was cold.

This idiot says his ass is sexy. . .

3. Me: "Sister Paper, is there a P in those photos you sent me?"

Sister paper: "Yes, there is no P on the shooting date. . . "

4, eating complaints: "The doctor told me not to eat this, not to eat that, it's terrible!"

Immediately, someone said coldly, "The doctor said what you want to eat, so you can eat it at once!" ! That's even more terrible! "

5. How long is your penis?

B: 3 cm.

You are so fucking short!

Get off the ground

Damn, your legs are so short!

6. Today, my son's head teacher called and said that my son impersonated my signature on the test paper. He also said that I can tell at a glance what the pupils are writing!

I went to the teacher's office in the afternoon and looked embarrassed. I signed that test paper last night. . .

7. Go out to eat beef hotpot with the leader. The leader gave me a big piece of beef tendon and said it was delicious. Then I was still chewing the beef tendon until I paid the bill.

I never bargain when I go to the market to buy food. I just followed my aunt. After seeing my aunt buy the price, I said: The boss also gave me two pounds!

9. "I am a top 500 employee and work in Jinmao Building." I'm proud to say.

Colleague: "Hey, the eunuch is still working in the Forbidden City!" "

10, I got up late, bought a cup of porridge and got on the bus quickly. Later, a girl came up behind me and I took a sip of porridge. She took a sip of her nose and then a sip of porridge. Sister, can I have breakfast without dubbing? . .