The latest stock market crash funny jokes?

1, my magical stock trading experience

Be optimistic about not buying, keep going up, chase up and buy, and become a bear! Angry but sold in a few days; It went up immediately after it was sold out! Choose one of the two, you must have chosen the wrong one. If you buy it, it will fall, but if you don't buy it, it will rise! If you choose the wrong one, correct it, exchange shares, and then change the wrong one! Make up your mind not to engage in short-term, long-term shareholding, then long-term non-rise! I couldn't make it, but I threw a long line and the daily limit was the next day! Go to the short line again and be quilted immediately! It must be wrong to sum up historical experience and apply it to the next time! Back to the previous investment style, lost! ! When the things you recommend to others go up, the stock in your hand goes down! Swear that if you solve it, you will never buy it again! I bought Bank of China again, and I was trapped. Have a similar experience with me! !

2. A stockholder asked God: Is there a lack of God in heaven?

A stockholder asked God, "Is there a lack of God in heaven?" God nodded, indicating lack. Therefore, investors implore God: "Take away all these analysts." God asked in surprise, "which analysts?" Shareholders: "They often give investors a solution, and in a very short time, they can see whether the market outlook of a stock is up or down. Isn't this all gods! " God smiled!

3. In the shareholder training class, a shareholder challenged an analysis.

At a shareholder training class sponsored by a securities company, a shareholder challenged an analyst: "I heard you talk about these technical analysis and indicators ten years ago." For ten years, the stock market has gone up and down, so have you and me! You have been promoted from an ordinary analyst to a deputy general manager today! I have fallen from a big family at the beginning to a small family today! "

The eldest brother who bought the stock won the grand prize of 5 million.

A big brother in stock trading won 5 million yuan, and the expression on the podium was very calm. The reporter went on stage to interview: How are you going to spend the money? Eldest brother calmly said: first, pay back the money borrowed from stock trading in recent years. The reporter asked again: What about the rest? Big Brother didn't answer immediately, so he slowly took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, looked up at the sky at a 45-degree angle, lit one, and said slowly: The rest … the rest will be returned slowly.