A joke that amuses a friend in an instant.

A joke that amuses a friend in an instant.

A joke that makes a friend happy in an instant will inevitably make a friend sad because of some things in life. There are few happy things, and there are always some unhappy days. But when you are happy, it will be true feelings. Let's share the jokes that make friends happy in an instant.

A joke that instantly makes friends happy 1 1. I keep my figure so stable because I have extremely strict self-discipline about my diet. An elbow a day, not a bite!

Second, I saw the long hair fluttering from a distance, carefully looked at the tiger's back, turned around and saw the old demon in Montenegro.

Q: Why do young people like traveling so much? A: Anyway, I can't afford a house all my life. Let's make heaven and earth our home.

Fourth, my boyfriend and I went shopping and passed by the blue ocean. I didn't mean to ask, "Are the clothes here expensive?" Idiot boyfriend roared: "the advertisement on TV says you only go twice a year." Do you think it is expensive? "

5. When in love, couples often lament what virtue they have accumulated in their last life; After marriage, couples often think about what crimes they committed in their previous lives.

6. If you think I'm fat, just say it. Don't beat around the bush and say, "You really walked one step at a time"!

Seven, other people's twenties: face-lifting needles, opening the corners of the eyes, padding the nose, filling fat, risorius. I am in my twenties: this is delicious, that is delicious, hahaha, everything that can be eaten is delicious.

8. What's wrong with my short stature? I can pick up money faster than you! I am fatter. What's the matter? I enjoy more delicious food than you! What happened to my little eyes? I get less sand than you!

Nine, some women are afraid of thunder on rainy days and scare their babies to death. At night, the DJ in the bar exploded loudly, one black and one bright. Why haven't I seen you scared? Shake it hard, your mother doesn't even know you.

Ten, endless work, not enough sleep, not fat wallet, can't afford mink, earned 200 million in half a life, once lost memory, once remembered.

Xi。 I just saw someone who looks like you. I ran like crazy, only remember that there is no you in this city. I slowed down and put down the bricks.

Twelve, when you are alive, you always have to bear some responsibilities or find some sustenance. So some people are adoptive parents, wives and children, some people keep cats, dogs, birds and fish, and some people keep flowers and plants. I'm more advanced. I closed my eyes and began to recuperate.

Thirteen, I don't know if I am awesome, but when someone tells me that "you are dead and the earth is still turning", I feel that the earth is persisting.

14. The friend said: This woman is really difficult to serve now. Later, she said she wanted to eat grapes, and when she bought one, she said she wanted to eat lychee, just like walking the dog. I said, don't be dissatisfied. My queen mother said she wanted to eat a box lunch on the train.

15. You pretend to be cold after every exam, because when others are arguing about whether the answer is A or B, you can't figure out why you chose C.

There are many people on the subway. I whispered in my girlfriend's ear, "My feet are numb!" My best friend immediately said loudly, "What? You are pregnant for three months! " I was at a loss when several people stood up and offered their seats to me.

Seventeen, when you are in a bad mood, you should chat with your aunt in the community. In less than a minute, you will know which building and which family are worse than you, and you will be happy in an instant!

18. My friend invited me to dinner at noon. When I paid the bill, I saw him delay in paying it and said, "Why don't I pay?" "How dare you!" "Nothing." So I put my hand in his pocket.

In order to lose weight, my roommate and I agreed to jog in the street for half an hour every night. We persisted for a month, and the effect was really obvious. We ate all the barbecue stalls along the street.

If you want to buy a house in Beijing with a monthly salary of 10 thousand, you may wish to set a small goal first, such as living for 500 years.

Twenty-one, after you get married, if the groom is not me, I will move in next door to your house and treat your children better than my own until your husband doubts life.

A joke that immediately amuses a friend. Pandas love deer deeply, but they are rejected when they express their love. Panda roar ~ why? What's all this for? The deer said timidly, my mother said that those who wear sunglasses are all bad teenagers.

2. One person climbed over the wall and went out of school, and was caught by the headmaster. The headmaster asked: Why not go from the school gate? Answer: Meters, Bang Wei and Bang Wei don't take the usual road. The headmaster asked again: How did this wall climb so high? He pointed to his trousers and said, Li Ning, anything is possible.

I signed up for a weight-loss training class yesterday, and they asked me to wear loose clothes when training. How dare you? If there are still loose clothes, then why should I sign up?

4, my friend said that I have a double chin, which is often caused by brushing my mobile phone. Since then, every time I brush my mobile phone, I always look up. Unexpectedly, a month later, I had a tattoo on my head.

An old man keeps a parrot and teaches it to say "good morning" every morning, but the parrot never speaks. He gave up today and didn't teach parrots. At noon, the parrot finally spoke: grandpa, gone with the wind? You didn't even say hello to me today?

6. Be kind to your wife, because one day, when you are lying in a hospital bed, it is not necessarily the doctor who controls your life, but your wife, because she has the right to endorse "continue to rescue" or "give up treatment".

7. There was a gas leak at home, and I suddenly remembered that the teacher said that I should calm myself in the face of danger, so I took several deep breaths and the gas was poisoned.

8. The boudoir quarreled with her boyfriend and gave me the fruit she bought for her boyfriend. I said, "Don't leave some for my boyfriend?" She said, "Give it to the beast, not to him!" "

9. When picking up luggage, I saw a police dog, found a piece of luggage, sniffed around, but refused to leave. The police officer asked the owner of the luggage seriously: What's in it? The young man said awkwardly that there was dog food in it.

10, Dad started to play WeChat, so I pretended to be a stranger and added him, trying to fool Dad. Today, he began to tell me that he had a disappointing son. Hey, talking too much is all tears!

1 1. Yesterday afternoon, I asked my girlfriend to get up for dinner, but she was lying in bed playing with her mobile phone and didn't move at all. I was so angry that I went over and asked loudly, "Am I too used to you?" She said, "Yes." "Okay, then I will go on. What do you eat? I'll bring it back for you. "

12, freshmen just entered the school, and the whole class introduced themselves. A male student: My name is You Yongzhi, and I come from Beijing. I like playing chess! It's the girl's turn behind him. The girl stood up shyly and said, My name is Shakuyaku ... I like swimming!

13. There is a little wolf. He was born without meat, only a vegetarian. His parents are very worried. As a result, my parents were very pleased to see the little wolf chasing the rabbit one day. Then the little wolf grabbed the rabbit and said, give me the carrot!

14. The goddess I haven't seen for years suddenly said that she missed me a little yesterday and asked me if I was still alone. I was angry. If I am not alone, I can still be a dog. Decisively hack her!

15. When I was shopping, the security guard at the door called me, "Wait a minute, what's in your bulging clothes?" I lifted my coat angrily and shouted, "it's meat, it's meat!" My own. "

16, the patient is worried about his head. After the X-ray examination, he asked the doctor, "Is there anything in my head?" Doctor: "Nothing." Patient: "Ah, is it really so serious?"

17, I remember when I was in primary school, it was very hot one day. At the morning meeting of raising the national flag, the headmaster was giving a speech and a classmate fainted. I shouted, "Get down, there's a sniper!" You may not have seen a school where thousands of people all fell.

18, the little babysitter is very loud. The host told me that all the people who came here tonight were important people, so we must keep our voices down. After dinner, the host plays cards with the guests. After cleaning up, the little babysitter wanted to go to bed early, so she leaned into her master's ear and whispered, "Then I'll go to bed first."

19, after the monk drove Wukong away, he met the monster again and had to read a spell to call Wukong back for help. Soon a loud voice came from the air: Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is out of service, please redial later.

20. The mouse is particularly depressed because he has no girlfriend. Finally, a bat agreed to marry him, and the mouse was very happy. Others laughed at his lack of foresight. Mouse: What do you know? She is at least a stewardess.

A joke that instantly makes friends happy 3 1. If you can't tolerate me, it means that either your mind is too narrow or my personality is too great.

I will keep walking until the water blocks my way, and I am thirsty; Then sit and watch the rising clouds, dizzy.

3. I want to learn from the phoenix nirvana, but I accidentally ... cooked it!

Anyway, my life is always different from their calculation. I don't know whether they are wrong or I am wrong.

There is a 30-degree smile at the corner of your mouth, which Baidu can't search.

6. Of course God will forgive me, because that's his job.

7. Holding the child's hand, I realized that the child was ugly and burst into tears, and the child never left me.

8. Is there a P for handsome? Probably eaten by a pawn!

9. Don't tell me to bring it on-I have two generations of love!

10, if you bother me again, I'll tie you to a straw boat and borrow an arrow!

1 1, I won't commit a crime unless someone else commits a crime against me; If people offend me, comity three points; If people force me again, I'll give you an injection; People still attack me and kill the grass.

12, I'm not RMB, how can everyone like me? !

13, it's not difficult to be single, but it's difficult to deal with those who try their best to make you end being single.

14, when you have time to learn Feng Shui, you can occupy a [good] tomb after your death, which can make up for the regret that you can't afford a [good house] before your death.

15, once we all thought we could die for love. In fact, love can't kill people. It will only stick a needle in the most painful place, and then we want to cry. We tossed and turned and became doctors after a long illness. You are not the wind, and I am not the sand. No matter how lingering, you can't reach the end of the world. Dry your tears. Tomorrow morning, we will all go to work.

16, the world is a big doll machine, I just want you through the glass window.

17. If you leave first, don't blame me for betraying you.

18, people have only one heart, but two atria. A happy life; A person lives in sadness. Don't laugh too loudly, or you will wake up the sadness next to you.

19, be good to yourself, because life is not long; Be kind to people around you, because you may not meet them in the next life.

20. Some people say that the carousel is the cruelest game, but there is an eternal distance between chasing each other.