I'm very unhappy. Can you tell me a joke?

I am the number one person in the world.........fool!

My mother said my IQ is only 76. I don't know how high my IQ is. All I know is that I am a very lethal person, and many people have been hurt by me. Some of them have lost hope in life, and some have even committed suicide. So I have always suspected that I have potential superpowers, and for some reason, this superpower works especially well for my teacher.

I still remember the first teacher who died because of me. I was in the first grade of elementary school at that time, and the teacher took us to the wild for nature practice classes. Seeing the spring breeze blowing green and the willow branches branching, the teacher couldn't help but think of a question, so he asked: "Students, do you know how to identify the direction of the wind?" "I know!" A little girl in the class answered while picking up the wind from the ground. A leaf was thrown into the air. "Pick up a piece of something and throw it in the air. Watch it float in that direction. Then you will know." "Well, very good." The teacher praised, "Then which other students are willing to do it again?" Let me show you what kind of wind is blowing now? The wind was blowing up and down!"

I can't remember what the teacher's expression looked like at that time. I only remember that he died of exhaustion after struggling desperately for a few times. Later, doctors at the hospital said that he died due to a sudden strong stimulation that caused his blood to go backwards and become a demon. In this way, I killed a people's teacher.

The first grade teacher taught us about poultry animals.

Teacher: "There is an animal with two legs. Every morning when the sun comes out, it wakes you up and wakes you up until you wake up. Which animal is it?" I replied: "Mom! ", which made the teacher laugh so hard that he almost died!

After I got home from the midterm exam, my mother asked me how I did in the exam. My precious son said, I failed to fill in only one question. Mom asked what the question was? My precious son said, there is a question: What is the result of multiplying 3 times 7? I filled in 15 regardless of the situation. My mother sprayed the water she just drank into my father's face. Hey... I'm so great!

My dad asked me how school was? The father asked, "My dear son, is your female teacher satisfied with you?"

"Ah, yes, Dad, very satisfied."

"How do you know? It was her own mouth To you?"

"Of course, Dad. She said to me the day before yesterday: 'If all students were like you, I would leave school immediately!' This shows that I have learned everything. "My dad's brain is going crazy!@#＄#@!＄＄#@@

One day in math, the teacher asked 1 1=? , I said I don’t know. The teacher asked me to go home and ask. I asked my mother. She was cooking and told me to get out. I asked my dad. He watched the game again and shouted, "It's cool." I asked my sister, she was singing, singing BABY. I asked my brother, who was on the phone and said: I'll wait for you outside.

The next day, the teacher asked 1 1=? I said: Get out of here. The teacher slapped me in the face and I screamed. The teacher called me a loser and I called me despicable. The teacher said: Get out. I said: I'll wait for you outside. Our math teacher had high blood pressure on the spot and fainted...

When I was in Chinese class in elementary school, all the Chinese teachers in the school went to listen to Teacher Ni's class. Teacher Ni wrote the word "being" on the blackboard and asked me: "Do you know this word?" I answered "No", and Teacher Ni started to inspire me: "Do you have a bed at home?" I answered " "Yes", "What's on the bed?" "Matt", "Where's it on the mat?" I answered: "My mother." Teacher Ni thought to herself, this is right, mother has a quilt on her body, so she continued: "You What about my mother? "My father." Teacher Ni never expected that I would say this and make a fool of myself in front of so many teachers. He asked in a hurry, "Where is the quilt?" I replied: "The quilt is on the ground."

Teacher Ni was so angry that she had epilepsy and was hospitalized!

Later the school changed a teacher and asked us to make sentences. I completed the homework calmly and all the teachers immediately looked at me with admiration

The sentence I wrote was:

Sad ----The big ditch in front of our house is very sad.

If----canned food is not as nutritious as fruit juice.

Naive--it's really hot today, a good day for swimming.

Ten points----My sister only got ten points in her math test, which is really embarrassing.

Calm down----When I do things, I always start with the easy ones.

Ginseng----The teacher said that everyone must try their best when participating in the team relay tomorrow.

Quilt----Xiaoyu's sanitary napkin was stolen.

Lunchbox----Xiao Ming regards defecation as the first thing he does when he gets up every morning.

The teacher touched my head and said sternly: I came home from school and there was no one around, so I was going to complete the homework assigned by the substitute teacher. I went to the toilet and started to paint the walls with feces. , I painted the entire bathroom ten times before I stopped when I was satisfied with my work. My family came back and scolded me. The next day, my mother went to the principal to sue the substitute teacher for misleading her children. Later, the substitute teacher was fired. Hey... I said to myself: "I am very creative, ugly is not my original intention. God don't lose your temper, I will live bravely and bring out the beauty of the world. !! ! ! ! ”

I was chewing gum while putting my feet on the walkway.

At this time, the teacher said to me: "Please spit out what is in your mouth, and then put your feet in"

My brain: "@＄#＄# ＄#”

In the following days, several more teachers met with misfortune. Fortunately, no one died, and no major leaks were made. But my fame spread like wildfire, and I became a celebrity in the city. However, celebrities also have the pain of celebrities, and I deeply understand this.

When I was in junior high school, the physics teacher asked me in physics class: How do you change the trajectory? Me: According to the Diamond Sutra, if a person only does bad things in the human world, he will become a ghost after death! It turns out that the teacher is talking about how satellites change their orbits!

I was woken up by the teacher while I was sleeping in history class. The teacher asked me: "Who did Princess Wencheng marry?"

Xiao Wang whispered to me: "Songtsen Gampo." He didn't hear clearly, so he opened his mouth and replied: "Song Dynasty cadres." Later, history did not improve.

One day I came back from the barber shop pretending to be cool. When I opened the door, all the girls exclaimed: "Here comes the cool guy!" I scratched my head in embarrassment: "Where! Where! I just got a cool haircut." That's all." The principal happened to walk by and said seriously: "You have to hand it over even if you pick up some pants!" Fortunately, it was nothing, so I walked to the men's dormitory. I was walking downstairs in the girls' dormitory and saw a friend who boasted loudly, "Look, I got a cool haircut." Immediately on the second floor, a girl stuck her head out and said, "My pants, you are picking my pants...!" ! ! ! !

On the second day of the exam, the biology teacher brought a bird covered with cloth. Then he exposed the bird's legs and asked the students to guess what kind of bird it was. I really didn’t know, so I handed in a blank paper. The teacher was very angry when he saw it, and asked: "Why did you hand in the blank paper? What is your name?" When I heard this, I rolled up my trouser legs angrily, exposing my legs and said, "Now it's your turn to guess who I am. Are you done?" The biology teacher fell down immediately~~~~~~

My fame has brought me a lot of trouble. All middle schools in the city refused to admit me out of concern for the safety of their teachers. I had no choice but to go to the countryside with endless longing for a key middle school. Although the conditions in the middle school in the countryside were a bit tough, without the pressure of public opinion, I was still living at ease. However, gold always shines, and the silence unique to rural middle schools did not suppress my outburst.

By chance, I came out of nowhere, suddenly emerged, and quickly occupied the rural market.

One day, I was late, and the teacher asked: "Why are you late today?" I said: "I took the uncle next door's sow to breed in the morning, so I was late." The teacher was not there yet. After hearing this, I opened my eyes wide and said, "The uncle next door should do this." I said in confusion, "It has to be a boar, and the uncle next door is not an animal."

It was an intellectual competition. Our class and another class still had no winner after the final competition. So the host announced the final method to determine the winner: each class drew lots to send one representative, and two representatives guessed coins. The person who guessed correctly asked a question to the person who guessed wrong. If the person who guessed wrong answered correctly, the guesser would The wrong one wins. Otherwise, the class whose guess is correct wins. The sky is moving, the earth is moving, I can't even hide from my errand. I was actually chosen as the representative and successfully guessed the wrong coin and entered the question and answer phase. The teacher and classmates suddenly became nervous, and everyone looked at me with eager eyes. Especially the head teacher, Mr. Li, looked heavy and said nothing. I also felt some pressure, but not because of this, but because of my opponent - Wang Xiaofo. Wang Xiaofo was the most powerful "famous teacher killer" in our school at that time, and he also had several murder cases under his hands. It is said that the previous principal met his end in its hands. But I still have some confidence, because after all, I am also a person who once shocked me. The questions began.

Wang Xiaofo put his hands in his trouser pockets and said slowly: "My mother boiled a few eggs and put them in my pocket today. Do you know how many there are?" "Coax!" There was an uproar around him. I don't know why everyone is making noise, but I know that this question arouses great interest in me. egg! I barely heard what question he asked. I only heard the word "egg" clearly. You must know that in the hard days in the countryside, there was almost nothing to eat. Two eggs would be a really delicious meal. I seemed to see the shiny egg white and tender yellow yolk...

"If I get the answer right, will you give me a piece to eat?" I have long forgotten what quiz competitions and class honors were. All I'm interested in are eggs, eggs! "If you get the answer right, I'll give you both eggs." "Coax!" There was another uproar. I saw a look of astonishment on the face of the other classmate, while my classmates cheered and hugged each other to celebrate the victory. Teacher Li also cast a delighted look at me. I don’t know what they were happy about, but everyone was looking towards me. I smiled, and I smiled at them sheepishly, and then replied: "Are they five?"

The smiles of the students froze in an instant, and gradually disappeared like an ebbing tide. No trace. But the other classmate suddenly started shouting and laughing. Things in this world are changing so fast. In the blink of an eye, everyone is crying and laughing, and everyone is crying and laughing. I don’t know what to do. I haven't had time to think carefully about what happened. The venue suddenly became chaotic. I saw one person lying on his back, blood spurting out from his mouth like a pillar, and then he slowly fell down.

"Teacher Li!" "Teacher Li!"

It's our head teacher! I also hurried over. The teacher's face was pale, his eyes were closed, and he was unconscious. "It was him who killed Teacher Li!"

"It was him!" "It was him!"

Whoosh! Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Swish, swish, swish! ! !

A bunch of angry eyes shot at me like sharp arrows.

My eyes went blank, and a voice echoed in my ears: "Duolong! Close the door! Release the dogs! All idlers should retreat!"

Later it was said that Teacher Li was not dead. , it was just a serious illness. After he recovered and was discharged from the hospital, he saw through the world of mortals, became a monk in Mount Wutai, and stopped teaching.