Experts, who knows some jokes caused by nonstandard pronunciation?

Jokes caused by nonstandard pronunciation:

Guangdong

When a leader in Chaoshan warmly welcomed guests from other provinces on the boat, he said seriously, "It's a stormy day, so take some birth control pills (medicine name" anti-syncope ") to avoid dizziness." Everyone blushed. Then, the leader warmly greeted everyone: "Come on. Please go to the bedside (bow) and sit on the bedside (bow) to see your wife (in the suburbs).

Yunnan Province

Two Yunnan people went to Beijing to play. They heard that Beijing roast duck is very famous, so they decided to eat it. As soon as they sat down, one of them said to the waiter, "Go and dump those two roast ducks!" " After waiting for a while, they saw the waiter waving a roast duck in front of them and left. One of them couldn't wait, so he called the waiter and asked him why he didn't serve them roast duck. The waiter said, "Didn't you ask me to bring a roast duck?"

Note: ("Shuai Shuai" means "eat" in Yunnan dialect)

Henan Province

Lao Dong, a native of Henan, came to the south for breakfast. As soon as I entered the door, I asked, "Miss, how much is it to sleep (bowl) in jiaozi for one night?" The waiter was very unhappy and said, "No, only steamed bread." Old Dong said, "Oh, just touch (steamed bread)." The waiter was so angry that he scolded, "Rogue!" Lao Dong was extremely surprised: "Sixty cents? Too cheap! "

Sichuan Province

A soldier was captured, and the officer promised to grant him three wishes before killing him. The soldier said I wanted to talk to my horse. The enemy agreed. The next day, the horse came back and brought back a beautiful woman. Soldiers and women spent the night together.

The police officer said there were two more wishes. The soldier said I want to have a word with my horse. The enemy agreed.

The next day, the horse came back and brought back a beautiful woman. The soldier spent another night with the beautiful woman.

The officer said you had one last wish. The soldier still said I wanted to talk to my horse.

Surprised, the officer went to the stable to eavesdrop. Just then, he saw the soldier grab the horse's ear and shouted, "I told you to take a woman (brigade), not a woman!" "

Guangxi

Some people in Guangxi speak Mandarin with inaccurate pronunciation and often with obvious local accent! Reading is common: empty reading becomes public, mouth reading becomes dog, and wind reading becomes crazy, which leads to the following jokes:

When friends are far away, they usually eat a plate of snails for dinner. The host picked up one and said, man! He abandoned it, picked up the other one and said, it's a male again! A long whisper: it's a man again! My friend was surprised and thought: awesome! Guangxi people are too powerful! Even the male and female snails can see it!

I also invited my friends to dinner. People in Guangxi have a little cold and find themselves sitting under the air outlet of the air conditioner. They said, I have a cold and can't sit next to a mad dog. I changed my seat after I finished, and my friends were unhappy. What do you mean? I am a mad dog?

Hunan

A township head with a strong Hunan accent came to the village to make a report:

No pickles, I'll pick up a piece of shit and lick it for you. ......

Don't talk, I'll tell you a story. ...

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