Ordinary humorous jokes

I've missed every penny of you since you borrowed money from me.

Chapter 1: Common humorous jokes 1. One day, the husband and wife had a cold war again, and neither of them wanted to talk to the other. The husband was afraid of being late for the meeting the next morning, so he wrote a note to his wife. Wake me up at seven tomorrow morning. ?

Get up the next morning, it's past 8 o'clock. Husband was anxious and angry, only to find that his wife left a note on the bedside. It's 7: 30, get up quickly! ?

On the stage, at the moment of killing the enemy, the pistol didn't ring. When we shoot again, there is still no sound. The closed audience was in an uproar. The actor was at a loss for a moment. He raised his foot in panic and gave the enemy a good kick. The actor who plays the enemy is very sophisticated, only to see him fall to the ground slowly, then raise his head with difficulty and say in a weak voice: His boots are poisonous! I-I really can't.

The giraffe married the monkey, and a year later, the giraffe filed for divorce: I will never live such a life of jumping up and down again! Monkey is furious: leave! Who has seen kissing and climbing trees!

The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in the battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: Shit, what can I do? Pay the price for stepping on it.

Chapter 2: Common humorous jokes 1. Xiaoli has three cats at home. She is going to open a pet shop called Three Kittens Pet Shop. Her boyfriend said that the name was not domineering enough and should be changed.

So the name of this store was changed to Little Tiger Pet Store!

It's twelve o'clock in the morning, and I'm still lying in bed watching TV. My mother sent me food for the first time, and I was half full after eating it.

Just call my mom and say, mom, I haven't finished eating yet. Feed the rest to the dog!

My mother also loudly responded to me: no, what you just ate was dog leftovers!

God's comment: This is the real original dog food.

3. My husband and I went to work together and became aunts in Lu Yu. My husband greeted me warmly. Later I asked: Who is she?

? Our canteen aunt! ?

I teased: Seeing how enthusiastic you are when you say hello, I thought you were financial! ?

? Can you be realistic? Aunt in the canteen can give you more food, and the beautiful financial girl can give you more money?

Me. . .

4. My wife caught a cold, so she had to bring food and drink water to bed, and even had to hold it when she went to the toilet. But when she heard that online clothes were on sale, she jumped up. She was full of energy. She chose the phone for half an hour, paid the money, and fell ill instantly when she went back to bed.

One day, my wife asked me if I was playing house.

My answer is, my wife slapped me.

Burying my face, I said, what's wrong with playing house?

Wife: I said Jia Jia. She is my best friend.

Chapter III: Ordinary Humorous Jokes 1. What is maturity? Maturity means that your mother didn't force you or remind you that you put on long pants yourself!

2. When I was a child, since I knew my mother's surname was Ouyang, I thought it was cool and often asked my father to change his surname. Once my dad was so bored that he picked up a stick and started hitting me, crying and howling. Grandpa hurried over to hold his father and asked what was going on. What is this? Dad said your grandson was clamoring to change his surname! Grandpa scolded dad for changing his surname? You can't beat children like this if you change your surname! Just close the door and starve for a few days! Me? Scared me away?

3. Go to the store to buy clothes. The proprietress is very beautiful. I couldn't help peeking at the proprietress while looking at the clothes. She saw me looking at her and came over with a smile. You can try it in the fitting room if you like. ? I was overjoyed: then I'm welcome! ? With that, she carried the proprietress into the fitting room.

4, suddenly found that all my plans for the future have the same beginning:

When I have money

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