A joke about asking a doctor to see a doctor (very funny)

Someone's wife is ill, so please call a doctor to see her. The doctor checked it and asked, "Do you have a screwdriver?"

"Yes, here you are." After a while, the doctor asked again, "Do you have a hammer?" "Yes ... but what happened to my wife?"

"Nothing, I have to open the medicine cabinet first." There are two kinds of good doctors.

One is that you can cure the patient yourself; One is to recommend patients to doctors who can't be cured. 3. Congratulations

Doctor: "Congratulations, Mr. Bonfair!" " "

Patient: (excitedly) "Am I going to recover soon?"

Doctor: "No, you can't recover." However, you will die of a newly discovered disease in a few days, and we will name it after you. "4. Relieve symptoms

Doctor: Is there a problem?

Patient: It hurts especially when breathing.

Doctor: Well, I'll make you stop breathing. 5. Live to be 80 years old

Doctor: Old man, you are very healthy. It is no problem to live to 80 years old.

Old man: I am eighty this year!

Doctor: Look, am I right? Step 6 run away

A British plane was shot down by the Germans, and the pilot's leg was broken. In the hospital, the doctor will cut off his leg. Pilot: "Doctor, can you airdrop my left leg back to England?"

Doctor: "Yes." A few days later, the pilot said, "Doctor, can you do me another favor and throw my right leg back to England?"

Doctor: "all right!" " "A few days later, the pilot said," Can the doctor throw my left hand back to England? "

The doctor said angrily, "No, I suspect you are running away now." 7. cured? !

A doctor in a private clinic plans to go abroad for a holiday. He asked his son who just graduated from medical school to cover for a month. A month later, the doctor came back from a holiday abroad and asked him how his son was.

The son proudly said, "I completely cured you of the heart disease of 10."

Unexpectedly, my father shouted, "Bastard! You think you are smart and capable? You don't want to think about how the tuition fees of medical schools have come in these years! " 8, happy too early

A young man will be enlisted in the army, and an ophthalmologist in a military hospital will check his eyesight. The young man will admit that he is nearsighted when he is examined. After the examination, the doctor said, "Yes, you are right. It is myopia. "

The young man was very happy to hear this sentence. "Dear doctor, then I can be exempted from military service?"

The doctor shook his head and said, "no ... I wrote that I could take part in hand-to-hand combat." 9. Very good question

Someone asked the doctor, "Excuse me, doctor, how can I live to be 100 years old?"

"First, stop drinking."

"I never drink."

"Second, abstain from color."

"I don't like women at all."

"Third, eat less meat."

"I am a vegetarian!"

"Then why did you live so long?" 10, medical skill

A husband who is a doctor often boasts about his medical skills in front of his wife.

"I know you are a very successful doctor. There is nothing wrong with the patient. You can tell him what is wrong. " The wife said to her husband.

"That's nothing," the husband looked very proud. "My success is because I am an expert. I can train patients to get sick in my clinic. " 1 1, turn around.

A doctor was treating a patient when his nurse broke in. "I'm sorry, the man you just treated collapsed at home as soon as he went out. What should we do? "

"Turn him around," the doctor replied, "so that others can know that he is coming in." 12, professional habits

The doctor rushed to the hanger and shouted, "Pass me the tool kit quickly!" " "

"What's the matter, Dad?" The daughter asked in panic.

"A young man called just now and said that without me, he would be dead."

The daughter breathed a sigh of relief: "Don't be busy, I think this call is for me." 13, medical ethics

A doctor is driving home after attending an emergency nursing class. On the road, he saw a man lying motionless beside a car. He quickly jumped out of the car and said to the man lying on the ground, "I am an emergency doctor in the hospital." Can I help you? "

The man lying on the ground moved and said, "well, can you help me repair this damn tire?" 14, quack

A doctor is walking in the street. A young man bumped into him and knocked him to the ground. The doctor stood up, grabbed the young man by the collar and raised his hand to hit him. The young man said, "It doesn't matter if you kick with your feet. Never hit by hand. "

The doctor is very strange: "What do you mean?"

The young man said, "if you kick with your feet, you will die;" But they say that once you pay it, you will lose your life. "15, live up to the dead?

There was a doctor who covered his face with his hand every time he passed the cemetery. "Why are you doing this?" Someone asked him.

"I feel ashamed in front of the dead." He replied.

"Why?"

"Many of these dead people ... are being treated under my door ..."16, get ready.

Xiaoming is ill. Dad is busy calling the doctor. "Doctor. Before you came. What preparations should I make first? " "Get the money ready." The doctor answered very positively. 17, expert color

The repairman was called to the doctor's house to repair the TV set. He found that his TV set was worn out after ten years of use. The doctor said in a humorous tone, "Please write a prescription."

The repairman watched TV silently for a while, and then replied, "I think I can only write the autopsy report." 18, explanation

A doctor put two bugs in a bottle with wine and a bottle with water to illustrate the disadvantages of drinking. The worms in the wine died soon, while the worms in the water were still struggling. The doctor said to the people around him, "You see, this is the harm of drinking."

At this time, a drinker in the crowd shouted, "Yes, this kind of bug won't grow in a drinker's stomach!" " "19, remedial measures

"Doctor, doctor, I accidentally swallowed the harmonica while playing it."

"Oh, be optimistic-let's take remedial measures. By the way, you can play grand piano now. " 20. The crocodile's big mouth.

The keeper of the zoo stood in front of the crocodile, opened his mouth and looked into the crocodile's mouth. Passers-by tourists asked, "What happened to the crocodile?"

The administrator said, "I don't know yet. The doctor went to his mouth and didn't come out for half an hour.