Feng Jicai: Dead Bird

Feng Jicai: Dead Bird

People in Tianjin Wei are fond of joking, so many of them have nicknames. Some people's nicknames are called to their faces, while others' nicknames can only be said behind their backs. It all depends on where the nickname came from. Whenever there is a nickname, there must be a funny story; but stories are different from stories. Some stories can be told casually as jokes, while others cannot be told randomly; for example, He Daotai's nickname is "Dead Bird".

He Daotai looks ordinary, like a piglet. But the real person does not show his face, and his ability is hidden in secret. He has two abilities: one is to serve the boss, and the other is to serve the birds.

Serving your boss is a very special job. It's useless to follow your boss's butt all day long. If you follow too slowly, you won't be able to get ahead when something happens, which will make your boss anxious; if you follow too closely, you might step on your boss's heel, which will annoy your boss. And it’s not enough to just follow behind like a racing puppy. You must also be good at observing words and emotions, understand your boss's temperament, and know when to say something and when not to say something; be submissive when being disciplined, and nod in agreement when being scolded. Boss**, it’s not necessarily your fault, sometimes it’s just the boss showing off his power and feeling comfortable. If you lose your temper, frown and curl your lips, showing annoyance, then ask your boss to remember. From then on, Guan'er did not become bigger and bigger, but became smaller and smaller. This kind of thing that is not done by humans, He Daotai did it with ease and calmly and naturally. People say that all these abilities of He Daotai come from his nature. They say that he was born to be a trap for his superiors. He is a docile donkey who can't kick him with three legs, right?

After talking about him serving the boss, let’s talk about him serving the birds.

The matter of serving the migratory birds is also another merit. Don't think that if you put a bird in a cage, put some rice, give it some worms, and add some water, it can jump up and down. A bird has a bird's habit, almost closing its eyes, trimming its feathers, and drooping its wings; a bird has a bird's temperament. If it doesn't follow it, it won't sing or cry, and it won't move. It's almost as if it's alive or dead. People say that people on the congratulatory platform must be birds all their lives. He knew everything about birds, no matter what kind of bird they were, after being manipulated by his little chubby hands, their hair was bright and lively, and their voices were as good as the Mao Dan who sang Luozi in Tianfu Tea Garden.

On the day after the beginning of summer during the Chinese New Year, Mr. Lin, who worked in Changguan, came back from his hometown in Changzhou, Jiangsu Province for a vacation and brought him a myna. This myna has a big belly, thick legs and strong claws, a black body, and a golden mouth. When he calls, he can be heard clearly even standing on the street. He Daotai said happily: The rooster's voice is not as loud as the rooster's.

Mr. Lin smiled and said: "I'm just not good at learning how to speak." It is always difficult to learn. No matter how much you teach him, he can't learn it, but sometimes if he doesn't pay attention, he will learn it. However, once it's in your hands, it's guaranteed to be promising.

He Daotai also smiled. Said: After three months, I asked it to speak allegro.

However, this myna is like a fierce horse, which is extremely difficult to tame for a while. He Daotai tried his best, but it couldn't learn it. He Daotai scolded it: "Stupid bird." The next day it called "Stupid Bird" all day long. Tell it to stop talking, but it won't stop. I could hear it clearly in the front and back yards, and I couldn't even take a nap. He Daotai covered the cage tightly with a cover for more than a long time, but it stopped barking. In the evening, the wife was afraid that it would be suffocated to death, so she asked the maid to take off the cover. When it appeared, it said to the wife: "Does the wife have heat rash?" My wife was shocked. Thinking about it again, wasn't this what the master said to her a few days ago, but she accidentally learned it. It made my wife giggle for a long time. When He Daotai came back, he told the master. Before she could ask Bago to say it again, Bago himself said: My wife has heat rash!

He Daotai was so amused that he grinned and said: This thing even imitates my voice.

The wife said: I didn’t expect this bad thing to be so smart.

Since then, He Daotai has taken great care of it. As time went by, it learned a few words such as "Greetings to the adults, Please take a seat, You are ready to go," and the like, but it was not easy to say. However, it suddenly jumped out and said a few words about "heat rash" that the master and his wife usually said, which made the guests laugh so hard that they laughed hard.

The prefect said: Master He, we can see how smart you are from it.

He Daotai was proud of the bird and even more proud of himself. Let’s not mention this for now.

On the ninth day of September, the Jade Emperor Pavilion outside the East City is held for nine days. As usual, people in Jinmen go to the pavilion to climb the pavilion, which is commonly known as Jiujiu Climbing. At this time, the sky is high and the air is crisp. When I climb up and take a look, I feel comfortable and there are no obstacles.

On this day, Yulu, the governor of Zhili, also came to the Yuhuang Pavilion. He was in a good mood. He climbed up the narrow and steep stairs to the Qingxu Pavilion at the top in one breath. All the civil and military officials who came with him ran around to make him happy. He Daotai is naturally among them. He pointed at the sailing boats at the mouth of the Sancha River and said some interesting words, which made Mr. Yulu's heart become happy. After coming down from the pavilion, He Daotai said that his home was not far away, and he hoped that the Lord would show his favor and come to his home to sit. Mr. Yu would never condescend to be a guest in his subordinates' homes. But today I was in high spirits and actually agreed. He Daotai's sedan chair opened the way in front, and the other officials followed, riding a dragon and a tiger.

He Daotai's starling cage is hung in front of the living room window. As soon as Mr. Yu comes in, it calls out: "Greetings, sir." The voice was loud and clear, reaching Yulu's ears.

Master Yu became more and more excited and said: This thing is actually more intelligent than a human being.

He Daotai responded and said: "It's not because the Lord is here." No matter how much I ask it to speak, it refuses to speak.

When the tea was served, Myna suddenly shouted again: "This tea is Mingqian tea."

Master Yu was startled, turned to the myna in the cage and said: This is your fault. What time is it now? Where can I find Mingqian tea?

The boss is joking and the subordinate is laughing. Laughter filled the living room, and they all laughed at the myna for being a fool.

He Daotai said: Your Excellency, your words really hit the mark. Actually, I didn’t teach you this. This thing always pops up from time to time, and I don’t know where it comes from.

The magistrate said with a smile: "It's not like the speaker doesn't mean it, but the listener does it with intention." Master He must have always drank good tea, as he memorized all the tea names!

Yu Lu smiled and said: If you have any good tea, please Yu Lu and I can try it.

Everyone laughed again. But when Bago heard the word "Yulu", his wings suddenly fluttered, and all the black hair on his body rose. He got angry and shouted loudly and loudly: "Yulu, that bastard!"

Everyone in the hall was stunned. In fact, everyone heard this sentence, and at a moment of shock, the myna said again: That bastard Yulu! Speak clearly and concisely. Yulu suddenly flicked his hand, knocked all the tea bowls on the table to the ground, and shouted angrily: "That's too presumptuous!"

He Daotai hurriedly lay on the ground, his voice shaking so hard that he could hardly hear it: This is not what I taught it. At this point, he suddenly got stuck. He thought that these words of Bage were exactly what he said when he came back after being criticized by Yu Lu for being cowardly. Why did it remember it? Doesn't this cost his life? His whole body was cold.

When he came to his senses, Yulu and the officials had already left. He was the only one still lying on the floor in the living room. He suddenly jumped up and rushed towards the myna, shouting: You destroyed me! I'll tear you apart, you dead bird!

He grabbed the cage with both hands and pulled it with too much force. The cage tore apart and the bird flew out without catching it. The myna flew out through the window and landed on the tree. He actually understood what He Daotai just said and shouted at him: "Dead bird!"

He Daotai asked the servants to beat them with poles, chop them with bricks, and climb up trees to catch them. The myna jumped back and forth on the top of the tree for a while, and kept shouting: "Dead bird!" Dead bird! Dead bird! Finally, he waved his wings and flew away, and soon he disappeared without a trace.

Since then, He Daotai has been nicknamed "Dead Bird". And when people pass this nickname around, it always comes with this story.