Ten short jokes that make me laugh. Good point chasing.

1. It was the birthday of a female friend. The four of us agreed to send her a "Happy Birthday" at midnight. Each of us sent one word, and I got the second one.

As a result, they didn’t send it.

2. When the student went to the toilet during class, he found that he didn’t bring any paper after pooping, and he couldn’t wait for anyone, and his cell phone was in arrears. In desperation, he called 10086 and asked for help. . . It is said that there was silence for a long time, and then... his classmate received this text message during class: Hello, respected China Mobile users, your classmate so and so is in the toilet and asks you to give him toilet paper. For details, please call 10086

3. When I woke up in the morning, I saw a NetEase comment. The original text was a screenshot

First floor: Everyone, calm down. Come over and listen to what the fifth floor has to say? ! ~

Second Floor: I think what Floor 5 said makes sense.

Third Floor: The 5th Floor speaks the voice of the people

The 4th Floor: The 5th Floor really speaks very well!

Fifth floor: Everyone upstairs is SB

4. The dormitory is on the 6th floor. After climbing up, I found that I didn’t bring the key. I went downstairs and asked my aunt to get it. Then I climbed up and opened the door. Go down Return the key, climb up again, and find that the door is closed. A classmate next door passes by and asks, "See if your door is open, I will close it for you."...

5. In 1955, China's per capita income was South Korea's 3.2 times, Japan’s 1.1 times. But after more than 50 years of "earth-shaking" growth, China's per capita income in 2008 was 3% of Japan's and 7% of South Korea's.

6. In the evening, my girlfriend said that I was too girly and I was very angry, so I started to argue with her. I originally wanted to look more manly, but in the end I couldn't control myself and started crying.

7. A buddy mustered up the courage to confess his affection to MM on QQ. After a while, MM replied: I am her mother and I am here to steal food

8. I have nothing to do in the morning Looking at the company's homepage, I saw the new recruitment content on it, so I clicked on it out of boredom, and was shocked to find that my position was listed...

9. That classmate from Beifeng, Feng, fell in love with a couple. The mother-daughter team, that girl was so good. After a fierce ideological struggle, Beifeng followed them all the way to the parking lot and finally took action.

Bei Feng: Hello, aunt!

Mom: Well...

Bei Feng: That's right, I want to get to know your daughter.

Mom: She is my daughter-in-law~

Beifeng fainted on the spot, the girl's face turned red, but her mother was very open-minded: "Young man, you are quite courageous, haha..." ”

After that, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law drove away.

10. There was a big brother in the dormitory one day who asked who this wma was. Many of the songs in my MP3 were sung by him.

11. The teacher called the name in class: "Liu Hua!"

As a result, the next child shouted back: "yeah!"

The teacher was very angry: " Why not say 'to'?"

The child said: "That character is pronounced 'ye'...".

12. I suddenly discovered this day that I have an aunt, a second aunt, a fourth aunt, and a fifth aunt, but I don’t have a third aunt. So I asked my dad: Why don’t I have a third aunt?

I also thought for a moment: Did the third aunt die when she was young?

My dad said: Your third aunt is your mother!

13. I wanted to make a joke with my boyfriend. I pretended to find a pair of women's underwear (actually mine) from under his bed, and then questioned him. At first he refused to admit it, but later he found it under my tight pants. After being forced, he actually hugged me and started to admit his mistake.

14. Once my husband and I had a fight and I felt very uncomfortable. While my husband was sleeping, I squatted over his head and prepared to fart for him to smell and relieve his anger. Unexpectedly, I used too much force. I just shit a bunch of shit on his face.

15. The man was on a business trip and suddenly came home. He heard the sound of a man snoring at the door. The man walked away silently and said: I sent a text message to my wife: Get a divorce

Three years later, his wife told him that he was Rising’s little lion back then!

16. One time, everyone had to go home when the bell rang after class. When I was going down the stairs, my left foot stepped on my right foot, and I fell in the middle of the road with a big "snap"... I thought at that time: No, I'm really embarrassed, I'm pretending to be dizzy.

As a result, the classmate next to me saw that I was motionless, so he quickly helped me up, and then slapped me wildly from left to right...

17. A classmate, his computer will turn on every morning It turned on automatically (probably because it turned on instantly when the phone came in in the morning in the dormitory).

As a result, the old man took a charm and stuck it on the computer. . .

18. My father dislikes foreign singers the most. But one day, when I was watching Michael Jackson's MTV, I suddenly found my father standing behind watching with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Dad, do you like watching this too?"

Dad shook his head: "Mao Amin is getting more and more ugly."