Ask some jokes that can make women happy. Not too bright.

The husband said, when you die, write on your tombstone: "Here lies a cold woman."

The wife said coldly: When you die, write "This man is finally hard" on your tombstone.

There is a man who goes to work on Friday. Because it was payday, he didn't go home all weekend until he spent all his salary.

When he came home, his wife gave him a good scolding. When she was tired, she said to him, I haven't seen you for three days. What do you think?

He said: I think it's quite good.

As a result, on the first day, he did not see his wife; The next day, the same is true; The third day, my left eye was so swollen that I could hardly see my wife.

There is a bear and a rabbit. One day, they were walking in the jungle. They walked and saw an old man. The old man said, "I am God. You happened to meet me. I am in a good mood today and promised each of you three wishes. "

The bear can't wait to say, "Turn me into the most handsome bear in the world." The wish has come true. Little Nutbrown hare thought for a moment: "I want a bike." The wish has also come true. The bear said, "Turn me into the strongest bear in the world." The rabbit said, "I want a helmet, too." "What's your last wish?" Asked the old fairy. "Turn all the male bears in the world except me into female bears!" The bear shouted. The rabbit got on the bus, put on his helmet and said, "Turn this bear into a homosexual." And ran away. ......

There is a little white rabbit running happily in the forest.

On the way, it met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana.

The white rabbit said to the giraffe, "Giraffe Giraffe, why did you do something that hurt yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The giraffe looked at the marijuana and the white rabbit and threw it behind him.

Running in the forest with rabbits.

Later, they met an elephant who was about to take cocaine.

The white rabbit said to the elephant, "elephant, elephant, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The elephant looked at the cocaine and the white rabbit and threw the cocaine behind him.

Running in the forest with rabbits and giraffes.

Later, they met a lion who was about to kill a poisonous snake.

The white rabbit said to the lion, "Lion, lion, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The lion looked at the syringe and the white rabbit and threw the syringe behind him.

Rushed over and gave the white rabbit a good beating.

The elephant and giraffe trembled with fear: "Why did you hit the white rabbit?"

It is so kind, cares about our health and makes us close to nature. "

The lion said angrily, "This son of a bitch pulls me every time he eats ecstasy."

Running around the forest like an idiot. "

In order to test the strength of the police in the United States, Hongkong and Chinese mainland, the United Nations put three rabbits in three forests.

Let's see who finds the rabbit first.

Before the first forest was discovered by American police. They first spent half a day meeting to make a battle plan and strictly divide the work, and then sent special forces to quickly enter the forest for carpet search. As a result, the meeting was delayed, the rabbit ran away and the task failed!

Then it was the turn of the Hong Kong police. They sent 100 people and dozens of police cars to line up outside the forest for the leaders to use.

The loudspeaker shouted "Rabbit, Rabbit, you are surrounded, come out and surrender ..." Half a day passed, but nothing happened. The Flying Tigers searched the forest again, but there was still no result. The mission failed!

Finally, China pol.ice, with only four people, played mahjong for a whole day, and at dusk, a man went into the forest with a baton, which took no more than five minutes.

Hearing the screams of animals coming from the forest, the police in China came out laughing and smoking a cigarette, dragging a bear with bruises behind him. The bear was dying and said, "Stop fighting, I'm a rabbit ..."