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My mother-in-law called me a pig when I was pregnant
For a long time, I have always seen my daughter-in-law complaining about her mother-in-law on the Internet. To sum up, it seems that not many mothers-in-law have good tempers. That's right. If the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along well, the daughter-in-law rarely praises her. Anyway, I haven’t seen many articles praising my mother-in-law on the Internet. Most of the things shown online are very unpleasant things, giving us the impression that the mother-in-law is very powerful and the daughter-in-law is suffering in dire straits. However, due to economic or labor considerations, the aggrieved daughters-in-law have no choice but to continue to collapse.
Today I heard a friend say how good she is to her mother-in-law, but she does not regard her as a relative at all, let alone as a daughter.
I am extremely reluctant to bring up the subject of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. It would be a lie to say that there are no conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. There are no two people in this world who are not contradictory, because we all may constantly reflect on ourselves and blame ourselves for some low-level mistakes we have made. So, don’t expect your mother-in-law to like everything. From my experience, I would like to thank her.
To put it bluntly, you can treat your mother-in-law as your biological mother, but don’t be so naive that you expect your mother-in-law to treat you as your biological daughter, especially your biological mother. Then you are really stupid. You will regret it when others mock you with your heartfelt feelings. I've actually done this. I used to treat my mother-in-law as my biological mother and I would tell her everything. As a result, one day these words became a weapon to poke fun at me. Therefore, I also regretted it, and finally understood that it was right to be nice to my mother-in-law, but don't be so stupid as to tell her everything, as if she were my biological mother.
From the day my husband and I received our marriage certificate, I made up my mind to treat my parents-in-law as my own parents! Later, I did it, even better than my parents. For example, I said last year that since I got married, I have spent the New Year at my parents’ house every year for seven or eight years to make my parents happy. As a result, my mother-in-law said, "If your married daughter splashes water, don't think about your family affairs." As soon as I said this, I felt regretful.
Let’s put it this way, you can treat your mother-in-law as your biological mother, but don’t expect her to treat you as your biological daughter. There are good mothers-in-law, but there are also powerful mothers-in-law who are self-righteous! From ancient times to the present, there is no clear statement that a mother-in-law should treat her daughter-in-law as her biological daughter. It's all about the three virtues and how a woman should respect her in-laws. In fact, I think it is a great progress for society that we can now vent our dissatisfaction with our mother-in-law online.
I have to admit that as a daughter-in-law, it is a blessing to meet a sensible mother-in-law. However, with some mothers-in-law, if you treat her as your biological mother, she thinks you are stupid and thinks you are married off as your son. A child who does household chores. She scolded you because she was kind to you out of filial piety, thinking that she would change her attitude and be kind to you. The result is that the old people think that you are timid and easy to bully, so they will still point fingers at you, even no matter who you are, no matter who you are, their answer is no, quarreling and anger will only make things worse. Worse.
To be honest, I don’t want to talk about my mother-in-law and me here, because I think I can solve these things, and whatever I can solve will not be a problem. But seeing so many sisters complaining about their mother-in-law’s troubles, basically blaming her mother-in-law, I think it’s useless. Apart from venting their anger, the problem basically cannot be solved.
Speaking of which, my mother-in-law is not as simple as my husband once said (I hope my husband will not have any thoughts when he sees this). I once fixed the image of my mother-in-law in my mind as a mother-in-law with a "good heart, good feelings, and good interests". But some shocking things happened later, which once again made me understand that I thought my mother-in-law was too simple, and once again proved my "if I treat my mother-in-law as my biological mother, my mother-in-law will also treat me as my biological daughter." ".
A shocking fact: Eat like a pig, eat less! When I was pregnant, my mother-in-law repeatedly said that she didn’t want to care about my confinement period. I said it doesn't matter. I have family over or hire a nanny. Later, my parents came to take care of me after confinement. During the confinement period, my mother-in-law came with her grandson and granddaughter. I was quite happy, and I thought, well, my family is so busy. What happened next made me dumbfounded. My 7 year old grandson spends all day jumping around the house playing or watching TV. I think it’s okay if the baby and I can’t sleep. I think it's natural for children to love to play, so there's no need to worry about it. The key is that when my mother-in-law came, I said: "Eat like a pig, eat less!" Since then, I have switched to white rice porridge and white rice. My mom’s house can’t make it for me to eat. When my family wanted to cook meat for me, the old man immediately said: "Eat meat every day? We all eat porridge after confinement."
"However, I could still eat and serve food when my husband was around. Later, my husband suddenly came home twice at noon. When he saw me eating rice there, he got very angry. On the second day after I was one month old, he suddenly came home again. , looked at the things on the table, lost my temper, and immediately drove to the station to buy tickets to send my parents-in-law and others away. I deeply understood that at the critical moment, I could still tell that my husband cared about me.
Ren Lei Incident 2: Breast milk is not as good as milk. When the child was five months old, my husband asked my mother-in-law to help take care of the child for several months. Now my image in the eyes of my mother-in-law has completely changed. I have a good temper and am sensible. Before I was pregnant, my mother-in-law came to my house, and I went out to play with her, buy things for her, and do housework. After having a child, I would go to work during the day and take care of the child at night. It would definitely not be the same as before. I can't do it anymore. Now my mother-in-law started to think that I didn't like it: she first asked me why I wanted to feed my baby breast milk, saying that breast milk was not as good as milk, and asked me to wean my baby many times, but I firmly refused. Later, my mother-in-law became anxious and asked me to hurry up. Wean the baby and let her take it away. I just figured it out. People don’t think breast milk is bad, and they don’t think it’s lively here. Besides, my mother-in-law loves to play mahjong and plays a few games when she has nothing to do, so I have to give up this hobby and take care of it at our house. Later, in order to appease my mother-in-law, my husband and I went home from work early and ran around with her for a few times, and the old man's mood improved slightly.
Ren Lei Incident 3: My mother-in-law was right. I was furious because I didn't wash my husband's clothes by hand in time. The old man said that my husband's clothes had to be changed and washed by hand. I said that I was too tired from work and wanted to wash them together on the weekend. My mother-in-law said no, my husband's clothes should be washed with me. They have to be washed by hand separately. I was completely stunned. My mother-in-law told me sternly more than once: "It's useless for a woman to study more, she just does housework and serves her husband and her family!" So far, my husband and I wash clothes by hand whenever my mother-in-law is at home.
Ren Lei Incident 4: You count on my son for everything! While my mother-in-law was at my house, although I tried hard to keep her from being angry, tried to coax her, bought her things, and took her on trips, she still insisted on leaving. Later, when the child was nine months old, my mother-in-law left with peace of mind, so I hired a nanny. Later I went home and took care of the kids by myself. Although I am a little tired, I feel that it is great not to look at others or please others. Moreover, during the nearly one year he has been with me, my child has been extremely healthy, has not gotten sick, has a much more cheerful personality, and is much more independent than other children of the same age. But then something happened that made me very uncomfortable. After I took care of my children, I still took them and called my grandparents every week to say hello. Grandma said over and over again that she missed her grandson so much. Many fathers believed her, and so did I. After repeated urging from my grandma, I happily took the child back to my grandpa and grandma’s house. As a result, a few days after my husband left, my mother-in-law said to me contemptuously in front of the whole family (my wife’s brother and sister-in-law) because of a trivial matter: "I knew it was you as soon as I saw it. That feeling was really... It’s shameful. At least when I was working, I made several thousand dollars a month and I didn’t let anyone keep me. After I returned home and became a full-time mother, my husband never washed the dishes once. Now that I think about it, it’s true. I admired my good temper at that time. I didn't argue with her. I just went to another room to cry, and spent the rest of the day cooking and washing dishes at my parents-in-law's house. Mother-in-law, you can still say whatever you want to me. Basically, you won’t consider your own feelings or whether what she said is unreasonable.
Ren Lei Incident 5: I hope your parents are alone so that you can save some money. Food. After my mother-in-law accused me of "depending on my son for everything," I made up my mind to go back to work, and my husband asked my parents to help take care of the children. Some people may say: Why didn't you call your parents to see the children earlier? She passed away a few years ago, and now my mother is the partner that my father wants to spend his old age with. Moreover, my aunt has her own young grandson to take care of, and she doesn’t want to cause any more trouble to my father. However, the difference between parents and mother-in-law has always been there. This can be seen when I take care of my children. My own father couldn't sit still after I quit my job and went home to take care of my children. But after my mother-in-law accused me of "counting on my son for everything," my husband took my parents to the hospital. Call them over. After my father and aunt arranged their family affairs, they came after the Spring Festival. As soon as my mother-in-law heard that my father and mother were coming, she immediately said to me: "Just ask them to come alone. One more person here means more food! "I'm completely stunned!
Her mother-in-law is much more than that.
For example, her ambiguous relationship with her grandmother, whose husband is still alive, is enough to stage a wonderful modern family drama.
Now my child is in kindergarten and I am at work. My husband asks my mother-in-law to pick up and drop off the child. As a result, many scenes reappeared. The child has not been sick for more than a year, but after being here for three months, he was hospitalized for a minor illness. My mother-in-law complained that it was our fault. Then I pretended to be deaf and dumb, and did what I had to do, and did my own thing. Fortunately, my husband sees the problem for himself now. He will tell her whatever her mother-in-law says, and even quarrel with her because of her mother (but I think my husband should never quarrel with her mother again, just for her mother. I told her afterwards He said.), and my husband decided that after my mother-in-law comes home during the Spring Festival, our parents-in-law will not interfere with our small family affairs, and he will hire a nanny to take care of the children.
My mother-in-law is still instilling in me the ideas of "a married daughter throws away water", "women do housework and serve the family", and "have less to do with family members". I tried to communicate with my mother-in-law more than once. As a result, the old man's words can choke you to death and make you depressed.
I went through all kinds of hardships with my mother-in-law. I'm not afraid of her, but I respect her as an elder, my husband's mother, and my child's grandmother. I am too lazy to complain to my husband about various things with my mother-in-law. I don't want my son to complain about his mother. Resentment between mother and son is a terrible thing. I don’t want my husband to regret it all the time.
As for me, whatever I say to my mother-in-law goes in one ear and out the other, and I have gotten to the point where it doesn’t matter. I was too lazy to argue with her, which also made her very hurt: my mother-in-law is petty and can get angry and sick if something goes wrong. So I don't want to mess with her because I'm really afraid that if I accidentally make her angry, I'll be totally wrong.
In my opinion, respecting the elderly and loving the young is what we should do, and it can be regarded as setting an example for our children. But if you are unfortunate enough to meet a powerful mother-in-law as your wife, you will be smarter. As a smart woman, you should try to avoid conflicts with your mother-in-law. Please remember to keep your mouth shut, don't let yourself be hurt unnecessarily, hide when you can, and try to avoid direct conflicts. No need to argue or drag your husband into a dilemma. After all, your mother-in-law is the elder and has no merit or hard work.
So, regarding the issue of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, sisters, please adjust your behavior and mentality first. Even if you treat her better than your own mother, don't expect your mother-in-law to treat you as your own daughter, let alone become your enemy. After all, she is her husband’s mother and the child’s grandmother. Unless you really don’t care about all the consequences, including a successful divorce!
If you have done well enough and your mother-in-law is still picky, let her go. She has no grace, we must be graceful and cultivated.
If you really don’t do well enough, don’t blame your mother-in-law for finding fault with you.
No one is perfect, and it is still necessary for a daughter-in-law to adjust herself. Unless you have enough word of mouth, patience and tolerance, it will be difficult to change anyone! I believe that it is much easier to adjust your own mentality and way of doing things than to try to change your mother-in-law. What's more, those daughters-in-law who try to change their mother-in-law's concepts and attitudes basically end in failure, including myself.
From another perspective, I am grateful to my mother-in-law for her help. She always criticizes or will criticize me, which makes me more mature and allows me to improve myself from the depth of my thoughts. I believe that people can bully things but not nature!
Here is a piece of advice and reminder for myself: As a wife and daughter-in-law, 3354, you should do your duty first; as a mother, always pay attention to setting a good example for your children!
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