I'm in a bad mood. Whose joke made me laugh. I'll take 100 points.

Only found a few, sorry!

1. First kiss:

The first time my girlfriend and I kissed while we were hiding in a movie theater, I almost threw up because I wasn't used to the taste of her saliva.

I said to her: "Let's not kiss in the future, okay?" She said: "Okay!"

Because before I wanted to vomit, she had already vomited!

This was my first kiss, a romantic accident

2.

Police: What are you doing, wandering on the street so late at night!

Miss: Prostitute!

The police were in awe and worshiped!

Police: Which newspaper company?

Miss: Late hug!

Police: Which evening newspaper?

Miss: Hug the man at night!

Police: Henan Evening News is good!

Miss: You can only do this at night!

Police: It’s really hard to work on the manuscript at night! Pay more attention to your health!

Miss: Thank you for your understanding, policeman, welcome to do it!

Police: Okay. Must submit! Must submit!

3. The student climbed over the wall into the school and was caught by the principal.

Principal: Why not go through the school gate?

The student pointed at the clothes: Metersbonwe, don’t take the usual path!

Principal: How did you climb over such a high wall?

The student patted his pants: Li Ning, everything is possible!

Principal: How does it feel to climb over the wall?

The student pointed at the shoes: Xtep, it feels like flying!

The next day, students came in through the main entrance.

Principal: Why don’t you go over the wall today?

The student pointed to the shoes: Anta, I choose what I like!

Principal: Why not wearing school uniform?

The student lifted his pants: Semir, you can wear whatever you want.

Principal: Aren’t you afraid that I won’t let you into the school?

The student patted his clothes: You are a noble bird, unstoppable.

The principal was furious: I will give you a serious offense!

Student dissatisfaction: why?

The principal sneered: M-Zone, I have the final say on my territory!

3. Introduction to the famous book

"Journey to the West" The Murder of the Transvestite

"Dream of Red Mansions" The Secret of the Country of Women! The story of an underage man and a group of women in a garden

"Water Margin" The story of Sun Erniang and her more than a hundred boyfriends who happened to be on the mountainside and waterside

"Three Kingdoms" Romance" The inside story of the war! < /p>

4. Two beggars,

very hungry in winter.

Seeing a piece of shit,

Both of them wanted to eat it in order to survive.

But both of them were embarrassed,

As a result, B said to A, "You better come, I'm not hungry."

A started eating.

While eating,

it is shit after all,

A vomited.

B ate it immediately,

A was surprised,

Isn’t what I vomited out more disgusting?

B replied: "I just want to have a hot meal."

After B finished eating, he left with satisfaction. After walking for a long time, he noticed that someone was following him. When he turned around, he saw that it was A.

B said: "Why are you following me? You want me to spit it out for you to eat! There is no way."

A said: "I'm waiting for you to poop. , I want to eat something fresh.”

4. Boy buys sanitary napkins

A 9-year-old boy and a 4-year-old boy walked into a grocery store. The 9-year-old boy took a pack of sanitary napkins from the shelf and came to the counter to pay the bill.

The waiter asked: "Do you want to buy it for your mother? Child", "No", the boy replied.

"Then you must buy it for your sister!" "No," the boy said.

The waiter was confused: "Not for your mother, nor for your sister, who are you going to buy it for?"

"I want it for my 4-year-old brother," the boy said, "Watch it on TV , using this thing, I can ride a bicycle and swim, but my brother can’t do either of them.

5. I hope you can read it all.

One day the devil kidnapped the princess, and the princess kept screaming.

The devil: "You can break your throat by screaming... No one will come to save you..."

p>

Princess: "Broken throat...broken throat..."

No one: "Princess...I'm here to save you..."

Devil King: " Say Cao Cao, Cao Cao will be here..."

Cao Cao: "Devil King...what did you ask me to do..."

Devil King: "Wow... I saw a ghost"

p>

Ghost: "Damn! I've been discovered..."

Fuck: "Ghost, you can see me..."

Devil: "Oh ,My God!"

God: "Who called me?"

Who: "No one called you..."

No one: " Where am I? I'm just pretending!"

Garlic: "Who is pretending to be me?"

Who: "Are you talking about me again? Are you looking for trouble?"

Trouble: "Which one is looking for me?"

Which one: "Looking for you? I'm not... Hey, there are so many people here."

Many people: "Me I just arrived...who are you?"

Which one: "I am not who."

Who: "He is not me."

Princess: "Are you all here to save me?"

Everyone: "I'm not here to save you, I'm here to watch the excitement."

Excitement: "I am. What’s good to see?”

God: “It’s none of my business, let’s go first.”

Devil: “You answer one question before leaving. Why are so many people saving the princess?” ?How can I continue to play the role of the devil?"

Go on: "If you don't want to be a good devil, why do you play me?"

Princess: "If no one plays the devil, I will Then you can leave."

No one: "If I played the devil, how could I let you go..."

How could it be: "I won't let the princess go, I will Want to watch the excitement."

Excitement: "Watch me do what?"

What: "You actually want to "fuck" me? Rogue!"

You Actually: "How can I?"

Me: "What does it have to do with me?"

The Demon King: "Damn! I'm going crazy..."< /p>

Fuck: "Why are you calling me!..."

Crazy: "What do you want me to do?"

You want me: "I can do anything." I don’t know!”

I don’t know anything: “I didn’t know!”

I didn’t know: “I’m here! Is someone calling me?”

p>

Someone: "I didn't call you!"

I didn't: "Who called him?"

Someone: "It's unfair...I didn't ..."

I didn't: "I didn't accuse you wrongly..."

You: "I'm sorry you don't dare."

Forgive me. You: "Who said I don't dare!?"

Who: "Please...I didn't say anything"

I didn't say anything: "You want me to say something What?"

I have nothing: "...you...aren't you my long-lost brother?"

My long-lost brother: " Damn... Even if I have such a long name... I will be called..."

Who: "...I want to leave this place of right and wrong as soon as possible"

< p>Right and wrong: "This is my territory..."

I don't have anything: "Don't make noise, we are talking..."

You guys Don't bother us: "I'm not talking..."

I'm not: "I'm not talking!..."

I'm not saying anything: "-_ -\\\"...Let's go...let's go outside and chat..."

Go: "I'm sorry...(swaying)"

Me Nothing: "It's none of your business... Flash..." (The two brothers walked out angrily)

It's none of your business: "Oh... why did you drive me away..." ."

Why: "I didn't drive you away...be good...don't cry"

I didn't: "Oh...it doesn't have to do with me anymore. "

None of my business: "What? Yes

Are you calling me?"

Someone: "Who wants to call you..."

Someone: "I really have to leave...T.T"

Leave: "I'm really sorry...*V.V*" (\\\"Who\\\" fell to the ground)

None of your business: "...you Not my cousin?"

What does it have to do with me: "...Cousin...Long time no see..."

Long time: "I'm not here. .."

Devil: "Are you done?"

Ended: "He doesn't have me."

You guys: "I don't have him."

Me: "Who said that?"

Who: "What do you want me to do?"

Who: "You actually want to fuck me?"

p>

You: "I don't know how to fuck him"

I: "Who said I can't do it?"

Who: "It's unfair! I didn't say... ”

Say: “What do you want me to do?”

You two: “You two are so shameless!”

You two: “I want it! I want it!” ”

Face: “Who wants me?”

Who: “I don’t want it”

Devil: “Hurry up, I’m going to chase you away.” "

People: "Drive me out? Looking for K"

K: "Who is looking for me?"

Who: "aaaaaaa! Don't mention my name , I will K-K him again!"

He: "Don't K-me"

Me: "Who wants to K-K me?"

Who: "Finally Let me catch one of you and kill him..."

One said: "Don't catch me"

Me: "I've had enough, who will mention me again? Name, I will never let you go!"

Who: "Look at my Eighteen Dragon Subduing Palms!"

Me: "Look at my Nine Yin White Bone Claws!"< /p>

Eighteen Dragon Subduing Palms: "What's good about me?"

Nine Yin White Bone Claws: "What's good about me?"

What's good about me? : "Brother, I finally found you!"

What's cool: "Brother, let's go out and chat."

Devil King: "Damn...this is a recognition of kinship." The conference..."

From then on, the devil really suffered from schizophrenia...

PS: I hope you like it, be happy!