The most classic connotation joke

1, I went to my girlfriend's and she stayed at home with me in the afternoon. Leaving is better than getting married, so … I call it hard work. Afterwards, I asked her how she was, and she said, "Of course, among the heroes of Water Margin 108, I was at least the third." I was grateful, so I ordered the bag she wanted online.

2. "I am your primary school classmate. Do you remember me? " Which one? I don't remember. ""The one who won the first prize in the city composition contest in the third grade ""I don't remember much. " "I won the first prize in the Olympic Mathematics Competition in the fifth grade." "I still don't remember." "I lifted my teacher's skirt in the sixth grade." "oh! It's you! "

A parrot hangs in front of the pet shop. A fat woman passed by and looked at it. The parrot said, "You are really awkward." The woman ignored her. The next day, the woman passed by on purpose, and the parrot said, "You are really awkward." The woman was very angry and went to the shopkeeper, who promised that it wouldn't happen again. On the third day, the woman passed by again. The parrot looked at the woman and said, "You know what I want to say!" " "

The boss wants to hire a bodyguard recently. The secretary said, "I have a friend who just retired from the army. He's nice, but he's a little stiff. " The boss said disdainfully, "I have been in the army for so many years." Tell him to come with me at night! " "The next day, as soon as the secretary went to work, she heard the boss get angry in the office:" Who the fuck said he was stingy? " ! Who the fuck said he was nervous? ! !

5. "Grandpa, you have been married for 60 years, and you still call your wife dear. What is the secret of loving each other for so many years? " "No way, I forgot my wife's name 20 years ago and didn't dare to ask her. I can only call it that. "

6. I saw a dress in Taobao today, and there were two comments, one of which was favorable. The content of the evaluation is: different from the picture, with color difference, it doesn't look good to wear. The content of praise is: bought for classmates. I am satisfied that he is ugly.

I overheard a conversation between a man and a woman. Man: Wife, I just saw a good-looking woman with long legs. At first glance, she looks like a stewardess. Woman: Really? I'll give you another chance. You can say it again. Man: Oh, by the way, wife, I just met an old lady, wearing enchanting clothes and having long legs. When she saw it, she came out to live. W: Well, be careful what you say next time. ...

8. When I was in junior high school, I wanted to go to the primary school campus once, but the doorman wouldn't let me in. My girlfriend and I are going to go in through the railing, and we are all afraid of getting stuck. At that time, I tried it first, which was very good and passed smoothly. My best friend's head is similar to mine, and everyone thinks it's definitely okay. The result! As a result, she sank in, but not the head, but the chest. Hahaha! I couldn't stand laughing at that time! Many years later, now I know I laughed too early.

9. Yesterday, a roll call was made at the meeting. A colleague didn't come. The supervisor asked what was going on. Some people say that my father-in-law is ill, so go and stay with him. The supervisor asked him if he was not married. Colleagues replied that because they are not married, they are closer than their biological fathers!

10, girlfriend: "If I go out in a bikini, how will everyone react?" Boyfriend: "That person will think that I am with you because of your money."